Chapter Four

Dear Grumpy

Since our fight on the phone yesterday, I've decided to give you some space. I know right now you want nothing to do with me. I understand why, I did something terrible and I can only hope that you can at some point find it in your heart to forgive me.

If I could take away the pain that I've caused you I would, but I know that my presence will hurt you more right now, even if it is just at the end of a phone.

Love you with all my heart Grumpy

Sammy x

Dylan learnt against the wall outside the ED department. Every time he read another of Sam's letters he felt that little bit sicker. He remembered that awful time she was away in Afghanistan and how much he had missed her. Lying awake each night wondering if she'd be all right. Every time the phone rang he's body would fill with dread as he waited for someone of the other end of the phone to say "I'm sorry Doctor Keogh…."

The thought of losing her was almost too much to bear. Was this really worth losing her over? The thing in the staff room may have been innocent, Dylan couldn't be sure. And if it wasn't, he sure as hell wasn't going to lose her to Tom.

Stuffing the letter into his back pocket he headed back into the department in the hope of finding Sam.

Tom found Sam in the staff room scribbling something on a piece of paper.

"What's ya doin?" he asked curiously.

"Writing my resignation," she sighed.

"What! Why?" he asked confused.

"Because I can't carry on like this," she cried "I can't stay here and be around Dylan when he feels so little for me," Tears began forming in her eyes threatening to fall. "I made a mistake Tom," she spoke barely above a whisper but Tom could hear the pain in her voice.

"I had an affair and now my husband can barely look at me. He's suspicious of everything I say and do," By now she was sobbing hard. Tom pulled her into his arms and they just stood in the staff room with only the sound being that of Sam's heart breaking.

"Maybe I should sleep with you Tom," she looked up at him behind watery eyes "At least then he can be right about accusing me,"

Tom let out a soft laugh and pulled her closer, kissing the top of her head, he thought carefully as he chose his words wisely. "As tempting as your propositioning of me is…" He pulled away from her slightly so he could look directly at her "…And believe me it's tempting," He flashed her a quick grin before wrapping his arms tightly back around her. "It wouldn't solve your problems. It would make them worse, you'd feel terrible, you'd start feeling weird around me and then you'd have to avoid both Dylan and I. And in an ED department of this size that would be tricky,"

He placed his chin on the top of her head "Besides," he began "I kinda hoped that if I was ever lucky enough to have a chance with you," he paused "Well it would be because you liked me, not because it's what was expected,"

Sam pulled away confused. Looking up into Tom's sad eyes Sam finally realised what he was saying "Tom I…."

"It's ok," he reassured her smiling "I know where your heart lies and I want you to be happy. Dylan's a very lucky man, even if he is too stupid to see it,"

Sam hugged Tom tighter "You're the closest thing I have to a best friend Tom," she whispered fresh tears falling "You know I love you right,"

"Yeah, Yeah," he dismissed playfully "If you love me that much you wouldn't be leaving me alone with the oldies would ya?"

"I can't stay," she cried

"Just hold off until tomorrow ok,"

"That's what Mr Jordan said,"

"That's cause he doesn't want to lose you either Sam. You're a good Doctor and a great friend. The ED wouldn't be the same without you," he assured her "And if that means I have to hunt down Dylan and kick his ass I will," he joked.

Sam stayed in his warm embrace but nodded in agreement against his chest. After a few moments Tom pulled away from her. "What?" she asked

"Nothing," he answered, "I've just got something to do. I'll be back in a while," Tom headed out of the staffroom leaving Sam looking rather confused. He headed down the corridor and out past reception.

Dylan Keogh needed to realise what he had, otherwise Tom would be giving him an ass kicking!