Hello loves,

So I wrote this a million years ago - yes i'm that old! lol - but i had written it in french so as i was digging through my documents folder i found it an i thought it could be a cool OS so i translated it - i did a pretty poor job at that actually so forgive me in advance! - and now I'm here to post it! =) I don't know... I like it because i feel like it's just a rush of feelings which probably all of us have experienced at least once and well it's with my two favorite characters so helloooo of course i'm going to love it lol. So anyways, it's 4 in the morning where i live so it's late and i was tired while doing this so there will probably be a million mistakes in it and heck, for all i know it might not even be understandable. You might even hate it who knows but oh well, i wrote it, and i like it so if you want to read it go right ahead... I don't know maybe, hopefully you wont totally hate it! So yeah... i'm not sure why i write these small greetings paragraphs at the beginning of every chapter i ever post because i'm sure nobody reads them lol but oh well just go read the story already!

Hope you somewhat like it!

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A million reasons

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Why?

Because I hate him and because he's the most despicable human being that ever walked this earth.

Because he is the one person that hurts me the most and because with nothing more than a simple look, he makes me understand that I don't belong in this world and that I should seek my own death.

Because with just one word from his perfect lips, I get angry, hitting everything around me, letting myself drown in this endless pool of hatred in which he takes an unhealthy pleasure seeing me drown in.

Because finally, I don't have the courage to fight him anymore.

Because now, I gave him a card he can play against me… And that card was my weakness, my stupidity, my hormones, and my heart.

Because I gave him my body and soul… On that day when he looked at me from head to toes with so much disgust I felt like killing him. That day, we fought yet again.

Because at that moment, he pushed me against the wall, holding my wrists so tightly I could no longer feel the blood flow in them. That day, I dared telling him to hit with all the rage and hatred he held against me because otherwise I'd hit him and he'd regret it.

Because that day, either he was drunk, crazy or had been hit by a spell. Because right then, his hand hit my cheek with more brutality than ever before and without warning, he crushed his lips onto mine, biting them hard, tasting the blood flowing from them.

Because soon after, we found ourselves butt naked on the cold floor.

It's simple… It happened because I love him as much as I hate him and because it is so much easier to hate than to have to withstand the looks of insults and disgusts he sends my way all the while knowing how much I love him. Having to see him every day without being able to tell him I loved him, having to see him flirt right and left with all these girls… It was all so much easier to convince myself that I hated him.

Because there is nothing more painful than love… and much worse, a love not shared. And because during that one night, he made me feel like a princess, a slut, and a woman all at the same time.

Because that day, he did something he never did to any other girl… He kissed me… He kissed me square on the lips and if there was one thing the whole of Hogwarts' population knew, it was that he never kissed anyone on the lips. Never.

And because now, I'm confused, lost and angry.

Because although he no longer insults me ever since that day, he hasn't changed a bit. I hate this whole situation. I never even fathomed the thought of ever falling in love with someone as arrogant as him, someone that never winced when calling me those horrendous names.

And yet, I want to kiss him. I want to have sex with him. I want to have his children. All simply because I love him. What a ridiculous feeling love is.

This love I have for him is impossible, senseless, thoughtless, irrevocable and all too intense. I don't know how to process it anymore.

It's been three weeks now since that infamous night. I walk the halls of Hogwarts like a ghost, ready to insult the first person that offers me a cookie. I'm angry. I can't take it anymore.

Because from the Gryffindor table where I'm sitting, playing pathetically with my food, I know he has just stepped into the Great Hall.

I smell him, I feel every single one of my body particle undoubtedly attracted to him. I can feel the tears now flowing down my cheeks… because it's official: it is henceforth scientifically, physically and emotionally impossible for me to stay away from him any longer.

Because at the moment he walks by me, I get up suddenly and throw my plate to his feet, anger, sorrow and love all raging at once inside of me.

Because at this very moment, as every single student of Hogwarts is looking at me as if I had lost my mind, I yell that I hate him, closing the distance between us and raising my hand to slap him with all my being.

Because just as my palm is about to clash on his pale cheek, he grabs my wrist savagely, his cold and angry stare angering me a bit more with every second that passes. Teachers and students are now looking at us with bewildered eyes.

But as my tears keep burning small holes in my cheeks and I keep mumbling how much I hate him, he suddenly pulls me to him, staring at me intensely.

Because unexpectedly, he once again crashes his lips on mine, burying his hand in my hair as I desperately hold on to him, tightening our embrace like a child.

Because he's kissing me impetuously and passionately, his tongue going about my mouth. Just as I'm getting into it, refraining myself from moaning, he steps back a bit, his stormy grey pupils staring into mine.

I feel myself shaking because there is absolutely no expression on his face… It remains as cold as always and at this moment, I'm scared of what is about to come out of his lips. I'm shivering, my head is spinning, and my stomach is tied in a knot.

But when, in that almost inaudible voice, he says:

"I hate you more than anything in this world… Because you're annoyingly smart, because you're a great friend to Potter and Weasel when I've got nobody, because you are not afraid of anything and for many more reasons… However, I believe I love you just as much if not more. I don't know how that came about but I'm glad you're the kind of person that can step up to me and decide you're going to slap me. Because had it been up to me, I would've pushed you far away in a corner of my mind and let you rot in there without ever telling you how I felt. Perhaps I'm crazy for feeling this way when I know my father will have you skinned if he finds out but I'll make sure to not let him anywhere near you… Simply because just thinking about you drives me mad and staying away from you seems impossible to me…"

…Then my heart goes into a hysteric dance.

Because despite all that unhealthy hate we share, despite the fact that my friends hate him, despite the fact that Ron still loves me and despite the fact that he is probably destined to be a deatheater, I can't help the fact that I actually am in love with him.

Because my whole being and my soul only want one person… Draco Malfoy.

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So yeah...

I know... It was weird. Specially with all those "Because" in the beginning of almost every sentence lol but i wanted something different. Well now it's time for the verdict... If you hated it and thought i should never write ever again and that i'm a failure in life feel free to let me know... I probably will keep writing anyway lol but hey you can tell me anyways. So... A review would be nice... even if just to say that this story was completely ridiculous... or perhaps there's other weirdos out there like me that somewhat liked it... Doesn't matter, just let me know what you thought! I actually value your opinions very much so...

Buona notte loves,
Mrs Malfoyy.