The Jean Genie

Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or any other manga, anime, or other pre-existing setting that may crop up..

Warning: There will be some OOC. It is an AU though, so that can almost be expected.

They say ignorance is bliss. Take it from me, it's true. Who am I? To be honest I forget my own name. For the past few decades I've been known as the 'jean genie' though. You see, I am a djinn. One of the more powerful ones at that. But I wasn't always one. That's a story for another time. One of pride and rage. One of mistakes made and dreams dashed. Maybe someday I'll share the full story of how I came to be who I am. For now I wont go into too much details. I was born on November twelfth, 1500 AC in the year of Serenity. That's fifteen hundred years after the 'glorious' queen took her throne and ended the second ice age.

The world was at peace, and I hated it. So I did my research and found a way to put myself in power. Okay, I was greedy. I admit that freely. I'd found the bottle of possibly the most powerful djinn. With this weapon, yeah I was stupid back then, I thought taking over would be easy. I was careful. I worded my wishes ever so precisely. There was little wiggle room for the djinn to misinterpret my desires. Fool that I was, my third wish was my undoing.

I wanted absolute power. My previous two plans had failed. Spectacularly I might add. Who knew the queen's warriors were that clever? I sure didn't. But anyway, my third wish. I wished for ultimate power. I wanted to be capable of rewriting reality to my every whim. With this I thought nothing could stop me. Guess I should have read the fine print. The next thing I knew I was in a desert at midday. I'd gotten my wish, I was made the most powerful djinn (or so I thought). Seems there was only one djinn left when I found the bottle.

And as soon as my powers kicked in, I found myself surrounded by a binding seal. It had been created by a man named Solomon. With his knowledge of magic and contracts he'd bound all djinn. Guess that was why I'd been pulled to that point. The contract even has clauses for new djinn also being subjected to it. Smart man. He'd placed limits on what we could do, and when we could do it.

One of those limits is that we can't use our powers to outright kill. Or prevent a person from existing to begin with. Which I guess makes a lot of sense. He limited when we could use our powers. Only at the behest of another, and then only three times in that person's life may a djinn grant their wish. No wish that would prevent something important in history either. Some events are destined, and nothing will prevent them from occurring. For good or ill, some battles must take place. The outcome may not be set in stone, but the encounter is.

Solomon's beard, I've been doing this a long time. Over the centuries I've lost much of my anger and resentment. I can understand why it happened. My becoming a djinn was fate. That doesn't mean I have to like the people I am forced to serve. Or do anything they want exactly how they want. When that Japanese fool opened my bottle I'd been trapped within it for a century. Needless to say, I was not in a good mood.

And then my current master had the audacity to try having me kill. So you'll have to forgive me if I didn't grant his two valid wishes exactly the way he wanted. He desired to defeat the 'foul sorcerer saotome', and in a sense he did. He fought and defeated a sorcerer with a bad mallardy. Yes, I have a horrible sense of humor. You try spending ten thousand years in a small glass bottle and see how you fair. So when I encountered a sorcerer who turns into a duck via a curse, I had to take advantage of it.

He also wanted his 'pig tailed goddess to show her love for him'. His wording, not mine. So don't blame me for making a teenage boy into a goddess. I just did what I had to do. Okay, so there was a little creative license involved. But he wanted a goddess, and by Solomon he got one. And she expressed exactly how much she loved the idiot. Namely that she doesn't. I ask you, can a plan work any better then that?

So here I am, sitting in my bottle once more. Not sure where it is now. I hope I can see Ranko again sometime. She's going to need someone to support her. Immortality sucks, trust me on this. And it is my fault she's a goddess now. Hope that works out for her. And thank Solomon my home slash prison lets me do some minor things. I'd probably go crazy if it wasn't for my tv. Oh, maybe I should check the forums I peruse again. I love teasing Ice Queen, whoever she is. One day Icy will realize money and power isn't everything.

XxXxX

Nabiki Tendo

I stare at the view screen of my computer and scowl. It doesn't make any sense. I know Saotome is in the bathroom. The hidden camera I installed showed him enter the room. He started to wash up, then dumped cold water on his head. That's when it happened. Saotome simply vanished from view. It's impossible, the jock can't simply vanish like that. And yet he did, somehow. This smacks of mystery.

I hate mysteries.

It's my business to know everything happening around me. And business has been good this last year. The betting pools and picture sales in the school alone are keeping me happy. But it's the international sales that feed my family. The others don't know that though. They think I am just a local player. Feh, if the suckers can't bother learning about the twenty first century they deserve to be used.

I think it's amusing. They all think martial arts makes them special. Yet I'm the one who always ends up on top. Who cares if you can smash through a wall when you never realize you're being filmed? If any of them ever got a clue, maybe I might worry. But none of them realize what technology can do. Their all just a bunch of stone age jocks. Hold on, something's happening on camera now.

What the? Saotome reappeared, but where'd he get those cloths? I know he never bought them. And now the brain dead jock is waving at me? Does he realize there's a camera in the furo? That can't be it. What's Saotome doing now? I don't effing believe it, how the hell did he stick his, currently her, head through the camera and out my computer monitor? Just what's going on here? It's a dream, this has to be a dream.

"You know, it's impolite to film someone else's bath," Saotome says to me before pulling back into the furo.

I really want to wake up now.

XxXxX

Ranma Saotome

Man this is gonna take a while to get use to. When I'm a girl it's like I'm connected to everything. My girl side isn't invincible or nothing. Just really really powerful. Feels like it could be stronger too, if I had people who worshiped me. No, that's wrong. I don't want that. I'm no glory hound. I just want to live in peace. Too bad no one lets me. But yeah, ever since this morning my girl form's been an honest to kami goddess.

Then when I become male again I have trouble remembering what it's like. As a girl I feel compelled to help those in trouble. Nothin new there I guess. But now my girl side knows when someone's in trouble. And I don't even have to personally be there to help. Take what happened this morning for example. I'd entered the classroom, and somehow knew a girl in another part of Tokyo was being attacked.

The girl begged for help, almost praying for it. And what did I do? I caused the attacker's to be hit by falling potted plants. Wasn't actually there. But it was me. And I knew the girl is important too. Don't ask me why, I'm just a dumb jock according ta everyone. Thinkin I should keep an eye on her. Hold on now, what's this? Someone's tryin to film me? Must be Nabiki. After I materialize my uniform (gah, why me?) I decide to warn her.

So I wave and stick my head through the recording device. Not entirely sure how I did it either. After saying my peace I pull back. Whoops, that girl from this morning is asking for protection again. This time I may have to appear personally. As I step into the Furo I find myself concentrating on where the girl is. There's a lake nearby, perfect spot to emerge. Maybe being a goddess isn't so bad? It does let me follow the martial artist's code to a new extent.

XxXxX

Sailor Moon

It's not fair! Sailor Galaxia was suppose to be the last threat! But she isn't. Now there's a new group attacking. And worst of all they're really really strong. I'm not sure if we can win this time. My leg's broken, I think. My best friends are laying on the ground nearby, badly hurt. The outers aren't doing too good either. Thanks to Saturn we're still alive, but she's starting to stagger. I can hear her praying for help.

It's useless, I know that. No help's coming. We're the pretty sailor suited soldiers of love and justice. We do the saving, not the other way around. My eyes go wide when a woman with red tresses emerges from the lake. She wears a blue body suit and a flowing red robe. Wish I moved with that much grace. The woman seems to teleport to Saturn, gently lowering the girl to the ground.

"Your prayer's been heard," the woman says before turning to the monster.

Somehow I just know everything will be all right now. Whoever this woman is, she's really good. I watch a flurry of punches and kicks strike the transformed tractor. Really it's more of a blur then punches and kicks. Just how strong is she? Each blow is actually reshaping the monster. Soon it once more looks like a normal construction tractor. I see an egg like object fall to the ground and disintegrate.

Then the woman is standing before me asking "Is there someplace safe I can take all of you?"

I'm about to speak when Pluto says her peace. "Who are you?"

Our mysterious savor chuckles and rubs the back of her neck. "Ranko, goddess of protection. Sorry about this."

I'm enveloped in light. The next thing I know I'm waking up in a bed. But it's not my bed. It's too big for one thing. The sheets feel like satin. I've never slept on that before. Taking in the details of the room, it appears to be made out of a white crystal of some sort. Weird. On the wall is a painting of, wait why does the painting look like me? Just where is this anyway? The door opens, and Ranko enters the room.

"Hope ya don't mind, but I've been fixing up the place," she says in an embarrassed tone. "Got the rooms repaired, but no air. Not sure how ta fix the machines."

Wait, if there's no air how's she talking? How can I hear her? How am I even still alive? It's then that I notice I'm still Sailor Moon. And now I'm really curious where I am. And what about the others? Was I the only one brought here? It takes a while, but I finally notice my leg doesn't hurt anymore. Tentatively I try putting weight on it, only to fall over. Gravity doesn't feel quite right. There's too little of it.

This room looks familiar somehow. As I struggle to relearn how to walk the woman, Ranko I think she said, casually strolls out. It's like she can ignore physics. The claim of being a goddess can't be true. So I start to wonder what her plan is. So many times I held out my hand in friendship, only to be betrayed. Even the people supposedly loyal to me have betrayed my trust many times.

My clumsy attempts at walking cause me to knock over a blue bottle. Huh, don't remember seeing that a minute ago. It strikes the floor and the stopper comes out. From the container a mist of green hue floods the room. Okay, now I am really starting to worry. The mist seems to be alive. I can feel it looking at me, somehow. And it seems annoyed for some reason. When the mist starts to talk with a female voice all I can do is blink.

"By the contract of Solomon I come to thee. Three wishes, three desires, three chances I give. By thy summoning my terms hath been confirmed. Tell me oh mortal, what is thy first desire?"

XxXxX

Jeanie

Geez, a million channels and still nothing on. You'd think there would be something worth watching somewhere in the universe. But nooo, it's all reality tv and horrible sitcoms. So I decided to take a nice long bath. It's probably going to be at least a decade before I'm let out again. I'd wonder what I did to deserve this punishment, except I'm well aware of what I did. I was a very bad person. These days I'm ashamed of what I did when still human.

I'm just settling into my pool when it happens. I find myself being pulled out of my home and prison once again. Now that's a surprise. It's also annoying. I was really looking forward to that bath. Anyway, time to get to work. I give the required speech while taking in the room. I'm trying to decide if I should actually show myself this time. Now mind you, I've read my history. Even visited the historical museum in 'Old Tokyo'.

So when I take in who my current master is I can't help but want to hit my head against a wall. It's Her. Queen Serenity herself. Someone must be having a grand old time at my expense. With a mental shrug I reform. The teenager's eyes seem ready to pop out of her head. Wonder why? Looking down reveals the reason. I'd forgotten I was about to bathe. Oops! It doesn't take long to conjure my usual jeans and belly tee. That much I'm allowed to do for myself.

"W-who are you?" The girl asks me.

It's a loaded question. I could tell her I'm a future foe. That would be true enough. I could say I'm a friend too. Not sure if that'll be the case. Most masters don't bother befriending us djinn. Could even tell her I'm her servant or slave. That too would be true. Until three wishes are made and granted I belong to this girl. It's annoying as hell, but that's my life. Since I can't actually remember my own name, I decide to use the same one from before.

"Call me Jeanie." Noting the bottle appeared to have been opened accidentally, I assume she didn't know about the contract yet. "I'm here to grant you three wishes, but there are some rules. I can't kill, prevent someone from being born, or prevent fated events. Wishing for something forbidden forfeits your wish. Also, only three wishes are allowed in your entire life."

After walking across the room sit in a chair. Her eyes bug out even more. Wonder why? It is amusing to see the future queen 'trying' to walk. Oh, that's probably why. Huh, wonder where I am this time? The future queen doesn't appear to even realize what I just said. Instead she is trying to walk, to humorous effect. Can't say I blame the girl for being shocked. So I take pity on her.

Noting the apparent lower gravity, I walk over and guide the girl in how to traverse. It doesn't bother me. But then that's cause I don't let it bother me. After five minutes the future queen has finally learned the bouncing walk required. I pick up my bottle and hand it to her. Until her three wishes are granted it belongs to this girl, my new master. Since she doesn't seem ready to make known her desires, I decide to return to my bath.

"Master, when you know what you want just open my bottle. Now if you'll excuse me, I was in the middle of taking a bath when you summoned me. Later!"

XxXxX

Ranma Saotome

I'm still surprised there was a ruined castle on the moon. I'd done what I can to fix up the place. Seems it belongs to the girls too, if the paintings are any indication. Speaking of which, most of them are in really bad shape. Among my many new talents, healing isn't one of them. Fortunately they seem to have some sort of self healing. The most critical injuries are already mostly gone, and it's been only three days.

Unfortunately it seems to slow down for non-critical wounds. The blond I'd just left is almost fully healed. But then she had taken the least damage. Some of the others might be out of action for a month or more. I don't want to just leave them. But at the same time I have to arrange for the city's defense. That monster seemed resistant to magic, but not blunt trauma. I could send my 'friends' to protect the area.

The problem with that is they lack protection. Ryoga never worries about dodging. Shampoo has a glass jaw. And Ukyo lacks the strength to deal with things like that creature. I could do something about that, but I wont unless they ask. I hate being forced into things, so wont do so to others. Who's next? Yeah, the woman with green hair. While unable to move much, she's been mostly aware. Nice to have someone to talk with.

I knock on the door and call out "Is it okay to come in Pluto-San?"

Naturally she can't answer me. But I get the impression of a nod. Gotta respect their regenerative abilities at least. Kinda wish I knew how to fix the machines beneath this castle. One of them must make breathable air. And I'm getting tired of being a girl. When Pluto had first woken up I'd gotten her a pad of paper and pen of some sort. After taking a seat I ask how she's doing.

"Why are you doing this?" Pluto writes yet again. Don't think she believed me the first dozen times I told her.

"Cause you girls need help. I heard the kid's prayer, and ain't gonna abandon you." I tell her, yet again.

Please don't let me be pregnant! The thought isn't mine. It belongs to... Oh man, I hadn't thought my duties covered that too. If I ever see Jeanie again I swear I'm going to smack her. 'Goddess of protection', now that is just plain embarrassing. I thought my duties would just involve protecting people. Not also dealing with birth control. Hell, until right now I hadn't even known what birth control is.

"You claimed to be a goddess before?" Pluto asks.

"Yeah, for four days now. I blame a girl named Jeanie. Still new at this. How ya doing?"

I can tell she's thinking, so I decide to explain further. For almost six hours we talk. I tell of growing up during the training journey. Of the stupidly dangerous methods my father considered valid. She tells me about the silver millennium. Of it's fall and her exile to the time gates for almost ten thousand years. We're a lot alike, Pluto and I. Both have experienced great loneliness. Both suffer under duties we never wanted and can't escape.

It's actually a relief to just talk with someone about my life without being judged. When Pluto-San had mentioned how old she is I had burst out in laughter. Which then had to be explained. The old pervert and old ghoul are oh so proud of their ages. Yet this woman still looks young and has thousands of years on the two, combined. It's like a bad joke. I can't help but laugh about it. Especially when I realize my girl form is likely to still look young when both of them are long gone.

Finally I bid her a good night. Our talk has given me some ideas. And I really need to set something up to protect Tokyo while the senshi are out of action. I can't heal, but I can protect. More specifically I can chose champions to fight in my name. Said champions should in theory have an edge against my foes. Especially when risking their life for another. It's risky, but a plan of action. Time to get started.

XxXxX

Nabiki Tendo

Four days. He's been missing for four days. Even my sisters suspect something is wrong. This morning Akane was complaining about nightmares. I'm still trying to figure out where she got that bracelet from. It looks expensive, and I know she couldn't have bought it. Shampoo also has one. Even Kuno received a copy of it. Something is happening, and yet again I'm the last to know. This is not good for business.

My attention is diverted by the phone as I walk past it. It started ringing the second I was in range to answer. Now that is odd. Even odder is the message. It's Ranma, but the idiot is a girl for some reason. "Hey nabs, tell everyone I'll be in Juuban for the next month or two." I manage to keep him on the line long enough for a trace. Not that it does me any good. Somehow the idiot appears to have called without the use of a phone.

Juuban huh? Isn't that where those senshi girls operate? This might be just the clue I need. And sure I'll tell everyone. The only question is how much I should charge for the info. As I debate how much to charge I walk into the living room and turn on the tv. I need to check my stocks. Huh? What's this story? A pig oni fighting a cement mixer truck monster in Juuban? Could it be connected?

Author Notes:

By request, and because my muse just wouldn't let me leave the story alone... I present a sequel to The Foul Sorcerer. Not entirely sure where it'll be going yet. Will it be a humor piece, or drama? Maybe an action/adventure? Who knows. Got a suggestion for what Usagi should wish for? PM me with it. This story will not be constantly updated. I've got too many others to get back to, and it's a lower priority for me.