First, I apologize to all of you who I confused by uploading and then removing chapter 3 about a week ago. I went ahead and uploaded a version I wasn't totally happy with because I wanted to keep the chapters coming. So rather than leave it up, I took it down, edited the ending, and am now re-posting. Somewhere in the middle of all that I finished my first year of grad school, too, so the pressures of life have eased a bit. I hope to produce a great deal more work on here over the next few months, so I hope you guys will keep following me.

So, to those of you who have already read chapter 3, the change begins mid-delena scene. For those of you who haven't read this before... enjoy!

(And thank you to all of you who corrected me on Stephan v. Stefan. Oops!)

XOXO

Elena pushed her front door open with a strong sense of trepidation encompassing her. Stefan was waiting for her inside and she had no idea how much of her conversation with Damon he had listened to… how much he had seen if he looked out a window.

More than that… she just had no idea what to say to him. Should she lead with the fact that she'd made out with Damon? Or maybe she could start with how she ached for Damon when he wasn't with her… or how he made her heart pound when he held her hand. Or how somewhere down the line he had become the one she drew comfort and security from… who protected her from death and sadness with equal determination.

None of that seemed like the right way to go.

"Elena."

The soft voice made her jump and she turned, seeing Stefan lurking in the shadows of her foyer.

"Stefan, you scared me…" She closed the door and glanced at him. "Sorry I took so long. I had to…before I could. I just…" She paused and got herself together. "I have some things to tell you. We need to talk."

"Something happened…" Stefan nodded and stared at the floor. "I thought so. The air is different between you two."

Elena tucked her hair behind her ear, looking at her ex-boyfriend awkwardly. "I took you at your word, I guess. I think at this point, we all need to figure out what's going on. I know what Damon wants… what he's always wanted. And I think I know what you want…"

"You." Stefan said without hesitation. "I don't think I deserve you, but I always want you, Elena."

She nodded. "So that means it's just me that's confused. Me that's hurting everyone. I went on that trip…and I really tried. I tried to see if I could be with him…"

Stefan swallowed hard, his hands shoved in his pockets. "And?"

She cleared her throat. "And… things happened. At the motel room. Jeremy was asleep and I was in bed and Damon came in and lay down next to me…"

Stephan ran a hand over his hair and turned around. "Of course he did."

"Not like that, Stefan. We just talked. He wasn't doing anything."

"But something happened?"

"We held hands… just for a minute. Not even a minute."

Stefan turned, the shocked look on his face transforming into a relieved smile. "That's all? You held his hand? Elena…" He moved toward her, taking her shoulders in his hands. "You had me scared. That's all?"

She felt her heart breaking, knowing how much he wanted to believe that. "We kissed." She breathed the confession, pulling out of his grasp. "I kissed him… I started it. I don't know how it happened, but it did. When he held my hand I knew I was feeling all these things and I didn't know what to do about it and so I got out of the bed and left the room and he followed me and I told him to stay away from me because I knew…" She cut off the words pouring out of her and just looked at Stefan, begging him with her eyes to understand.

"You knew what, Elena?" His voice was so distant and it broke her heart.

"I knew that I wanted…him, I guess. And when I told him to stay away, he did… but he just asked me why and I couldn't think of a good reason because, well, I just couldn't. So I turned around and I… I kissed him. In the hallway of the motel."

She had the oddest hurricane of emotion rushing through her. The memory of the moment she was describing made want and happiness spiral in her stomach. But the look on Stefan's face and the pain she knew she had just caused him crashed guilt and frustration through her too.

"I'm sorry…" She held out her hand, gesturing helplessly. "I just… don't know how any of this is supposed to go anymore. I know something has to change, but I don't know what it is. You sent me on this trip, Stefan. You told me to figure it out…"

He looked down at the floor, unwilling to meet her eye. "And did you? Somewhere in between all the kisses did you have an epiphany?"

"I don't know…" Elena pressed her hand to her forehead. "Everything happened so fast. One minute we were… you know, up against a wall and kissing Damon isn't very conducive to thinking. And then Jeremy interrupted and we had to go find Mary and then Kol came and…"

"Excuses, Elena." Stefan suddenly pushed away from the wall and moved toward her, taking her by surprise. "You're just scared to make a decision because you don't like to hurt people. And that's something that I love about you… your kindness, your goodness." He took her face in his hands and swept his thumbs over her cheeks. "You are so compassionate, Elena."

She shook her head. "I'm not… how could I be when I keep doing this to everyone?"

"That's not how it is." Stefan smiled down at her. "But you do have to decide and I want to help you do that. I gave you time with Damon because that was fair. And as much at it kills me to know what happened, I can't… blame you. I can't even blame him."

"Stefan…" She wrapped her hands around his wrists, pressing lightly. "How can you be so fair about all this?"

"Because I love you." He touched his thumb to her lips. "And I want to remind you what that love feels like… because I'm fair, but I'm not going to take myself completely out of this. You have to know that I still want you. I don't know if I can have you… after everything that's happened. But I have to fight…"

He leaned in and kissed her gently, pulling her to him, wrapping his arms around her. The familiarity of his kiss drew a warmth over her and she leaned into him.

But as he kissed her, in the back of her mind she heard Damon asking her if Stefan's kisses made her feel like Damon's did.

No.

No.

She felt her heart start to beat harder as anxiety set in. This wasn't what she wanted… it wasn't right. How could he just stand here and kiss her like everything was normal… like he hadn't broken her heart and abandoned her? How could she let him?

"No." She spoke out loud this time, pushing him away, startling him.

"What? Are you okay? What happened?"

"Don't do that." She shook her head and backed away. "You can't do that, Stefan. You can't just kiss me like everything is normal between us…"

"Why not…?" He looked genuinely puzzled. "Elena, I'm back now. I'm the same person you fell in love with. We still have something together…"

"No." She spoke softly, realizing for the first time what she really felt about Stefan. "I don't think we do. Not the same thing we used to have."

She pressed her hand to her heart, warring against the emotions that were suddenly bubbling up in her. "I'm so angry with you…" She said the words almost with wonder. "Did you even think about that? I'm so angry with you, Stefan."

"Elena…"

"You left me. You just left. You were cruel to me. You hurt me on purpose over and over again. You told me you didn't want me. You attacked me and betrayed me and pushed me away. And the whole time… the whole time I never let myself feel angry. I just kept pushing it back. I was hurt and sad… but Stefan, I'm angry with you. And you can't just… kiss me and think I won't feel that. You've never even apologized to me… not really."

"How do I apologize for that?" Stefan voice broke and he looked at her with such earnestness. "I haven't because I don't know how to…"

"I need you to figure it out. I need you to tell me how this happened and I need to hear how you feel about it. You've been pushing out all your emotions so you don't have to feel, and now all of a sudden you're ready to just pick up where we left off." She took a step nearer, throwing her arms out. "What about me, Stefan? I have been feeling this whole time. I have been hurting so badly and you weren't there to make it better."

"Elena…"

"Make it better now, Stefan. Give me something to hold on to… something that tells me that you know what's happened and that you care. Something."

"Of course I'm care." Stephan looked at her with such pain. "I haven't let myself feel because I can't stand how badly I've hurt you. I am so sorry for everything that happened, Elena. You have to know that…"

"You shut me out…"

"I had to." Stefan pleaded with her to understand. "Elena I will never forgive myself for what I did to you… or for any of the things I've done in the last months. Every day I wake up and I feel hopeless and I push through it and I try to get by. If it looks like it's easy for me, it isn't. Elena, I can't ever tell you how sorry I am."

She turned away from him, struggling inside. She wanted to accept it… to erase all the pain she still felt. But it still sat like a rock in her stomach.

"Elena…" Stefan's voice was quiet, resigned. "Do you remember… all the things Damon has done since you met him. How many of your friends has he hurt or killed or turned? He killed Jeremy… he killed Alaric. Twice. He attacked you, fed you his blood…"

"Stop." Elena knew the disdain she felt for Stefan was obvious on her face. "What are you trying to do? It's not a competition over who has done more terrible things to me. You've both hurt me and you've both protected me. It's not about that."

"Maybe it is." Stefan tilted his head. "Because even though he's done all of that and more… you don't seem opposed to him kissing you. You've forgiven him, Elena. He didn't deserve it… he didn't always ask for it. So why forgive him?"

She stared at her ex-boyfriend. "What…?"

He moved toward her, closing the distance between them and touching her hair. "Damon and I both love you, and in your own way you love both of us, too. But maybe, what you should ask yourself is which love is unshakeable. Which one stands against everything and never wavers? Which one defies logic and forgives everything and… completes you."

"Stefan…"

"I want it to be me so badly, Elena. You know that." He framed her face in his hands, tears forming in his eyes. "I just… I don't think it is. I think its him and you're just too scared to let yourself realize it. And part of that is guilt over me and I'm asking you to let go of that. Because I don't want you to be with me because you think you should be… I want you to be with me because you know without a doubt it's the only thing you want. I want you to not be able to not be with me…"

She was crying now, her tears flowing down her cheeks, onto his hands.

"You know… as much as it kills me," His voice cracked and his own tears slid down his cheeks. "I love you even more for seeing the good in him and never letting go of that. He deserves that."

The last little bit inside her cracked, and she leaned against him, letting him wrap his arms around her. "I'm so sorry…"

"Don't be." He murmured into her hair. "It's okay, Elena. You've made your choice and that's really all you needed to do."

She let out a half laugh, half sob. "I made my choice… didn't see that coming."

He stayed quiet, holding her close. She could feel his breath on her hair, his hand on her back. And she felt… at peace. He was important to her. He always would be. But here in his arms… she knew that her first love would always be precious and pure. But it was over… it had been replaced a love out of her control, stronger than anything she'd ever known.

But she was ready to embrace it… finally.

XOXO

Damon grunted and tossed his phone on his bed. Alaric still wasn't answering his calls… where was he? Had Rebekah just let him go after she got what she wanted?

He grabbed his shirt and tossed it on, leaving it unbuttoned as he settled his hands on his hips, debating whether or not to keep calling Ric. Maybe the guy was busy, or asleep… or in trouble.

A light knock on his door drew his attention and he turned to find Elena standing in his doorway, looking hesitant.

He offered her a careful smile, carefully ignoring the electricity that sparked between them now. He was determined to let her lead whatever happened between them. Even though that meant not walking over to her, pulling her against him, and kissing her till she couldn't breathe.

"To what do I owe this pleasure?" He turned to her, not missing the way her eyes roamed over him. The air crackled around them and he wanted to make her tell him what she had Stefan had said… how it had changed what she felt… whether she still wanted him.

"Do I need a reason?" She entered the room slowly, hugging her arms to herself.

"No." He reached for the bottom button on his shirt and began buttoning up, watching her as she crossed to him. She pushed his hands out of the way and buttoned his shirt for him. He settled his hands on her hips, gripping her as her fingers brushed along his skin.

When she reached his top button, she smoothed his collar and brushed the fabric on his shoulders into place before letting her hands fall.

"Hmm…" He dropped his hands from her hips. "Thanks. I usually struggle with that for hours when you're not around."

She smiled and took a step back, her cheeks flushing. "Glad I could help…"

"You know if I can ever reciprocate… just let me know." He smirked at her, his hands clenching when her heart started thudding in her chest.

Still, she said nothing, made no move to back away. And if he didn't fill the air with something, he was going to kiss her.

"Have you eaten yet?"

She shook her head, biting her lip.

"Okay…" He was puzzled by her unusual quietness… the way she just kept staring at him. "Well, I was heading to the Grill. I want to see if they've seen Alaric." He cleared his throat. "Buy you lunch?"

She smiled. "Sure…"

"Okay. Let me grab my shoes…" He perched on his bed and pulled on his boots. When he was done he looked up at her, finding her still quietly looking at him. "You okay? You're… quiet."

"Fine." She nodded, rubbing her arm.

He stood up and moved toward her, a little concerned now. "Elena…"

She shocked him into silence when she launched herself at him for the second time in three days. Her arms locked around his neck, her fingers sunk into his hair. He steadied both of them, wrapping his arms around her waist. Their eyes locked for a brief moment and then her mouth was on his and he was kissing her again, his mind reeling, his testosterone spiking.

"Yes…" He breathed the word into her mouth as he hoisted her up and backed them up till his knees hit the bed. He lowered them both onto it and groaned as she instantly curled around him, deepening the kiss. He poured everything he had into the moment, his hand roaming her side, her stomach, her hips and legs and backside. He yanked one of her legs over his hip, locking their pelvises together.

He was so focused on the sheer pleasure and significance of kissing her like this that he almost didn't notice the words she was whispering between kisses. When he stopped and listened, his entire body stilled.

Her hand trekked over his chest, up to touch his face, to grasp his shoulders. "I love you…" She whispered, her voice barely audible. "I love you, Damon…"

"Elena…"

She smiled, her hand tracing the lines of his face. "I love you. I was trying so hard not to say it. When I came over here I promised myself I wouldn't say it yet… that I would wait and make it special because after everything we've been through we deserve special. We deserve our moment. But then I saw you and the only words I could think were 'I love you…' And I just gave in. I couldn't not tell you anymore, Damon. I had to make sure you knew…"

"Elena…" He caressed her face, caught in a storm of incredulity that rendered him fairly well speechless. "How did… I mean, what happened? Just a few hours ago you were still insisting you didn't know how t to choose. What…?"

"I want to tell you all about it." She scraped her nails through his hair, bringing his face closer to hers. "But right now… I just don't want to waste anymore time. I want… I need…"

He cut her off with a grant to her request, leaning down and taking her mouth again. Every caress, every touch, every sigh meant so much more now. He loved her. He'd always loved her. But now… he could feel that she wasn't holding back anymore. She loved him and she was pouring everything into every kiss and every touch, unraveling him from the inside out. She parted her lips and he sank into her, his hands constantly moving, touching her everywhere, yanking her to him.

"I love you." He murmured in her ear before he trailed a line of kisses down her neck, across her shoulder, down her collarbone. "Elena…"

"Yes…" She held his head in place over the hint of cleavage peeking out from her top. He kissed her, sucking lightly, nipping at her skin. He moved all the way on top of her, straddling her body with his. She grabbed his shirt and yanked him up to her mouth where he did his best to devour her.

The buttons she had so carefully fastened moments ago were now just a source of frustration as she pulled at them and he tried to help her, as desperate as she was to feel his skin against hers. As she worked on the last two, he pushed her shirt up, his hands skimming, scraping over her stomach. She arched against him, pushing his shirt apart and bringing them together. He loved the way her eyes rolled back and her eyelashes fluttered closed… loved the effect he could have on her.

He flipped them over so that she straddled him, then sat up, kissing her as he worked her shirt up and started to slip it off her head. His phone rang out, startling them both. Elena jumped, tangling herself up in her tank top, making him chuckle as he fumbled for his phone while continuing to kiss her neck.

He had to tear himself away from her long enough to turn his phone off and the name on the caller ID caught his high. It was Ric…

Still, he considered not taking it. His friend would understand. After all, he had the woman of his dreams on his lap, and it seemed like for once in his life someone was choosing him. Her lips connected with his and he groaned in frustration as he swiped the phone and held it up to his ear, breaking the kiss at the last possible second.

"What?" He growled, holding Elena to him. She gave him a quizzical look and he mouthed Alaric's name. Her eyes lit up and she sat back, watching him intently.

Damon listened to his friend, his free hand still caressing every bit of Elena he could reach. "What?" He frowned at her. "I'm not sure now is the best time for you to be taking a spirit trip, Ric."

Elena cocked an eyebrow and he pulled her closer, nuzzling her neck, nipping at her earlobe. She wrapped her arms around him and eased him back, laying him down beneath her. Her curtain of hair shielded them both.

Ric was still talking, and even through the spell Elena was weaving around him, he could sense something wasn't right. Ric was leaving town… supposedly taking Bonnie's herbs. That didn't seem like something Ric would do. He would never go roaming around with no one to stop him from going on killing sprees. And he would never leave without talking to Elena. Damon started to voice those concerns, but Ric cut him off, saying a short goodbye and hanging up.

Elena looked at him as he set down the phone. "Is he okay?"

"He's alive…" Damon muttered. "Beyond that I don't know. He says he's leaving town."

Elena sat up, letting him do the same. "Leaving town… he can't do that. He needs to be monitored… he's dangerous. He knows that."

"I know." Damon sighed, tucking her hair behind her ear and bringing her lips to his for one last lingering kiss. "Which is why we have been interrupted once again. We've got to track him down and see what's really going on. I don't like this. He leaves with Rebekah as Ric the Evil and now he's leaving town. Something smells."

"How do we find him?" Elena slid off the bed, brushing herself off and straightening her hair and clothes. He reluctantly did the same.

"Looks like we start at his loft." Damon grabbed his phone off the bed and stowed it back in his pocket. "And the sooner the better. Can you wait on that lunch?"

"Of course." Elena moved toward the door, but as she reached it, Damon stopped her, his hand on her arm.

"Elena…" He looked down at her, for once dropping his defensive shield. "You and me… we…"

She smiled and kissed him slowly, lingeringly. "This is real. I love you… I want to be with you. And after we find Ric, we'll pick up where we left off and I'll tell you everything. Okay?"

He smirked and snaked his fingers through hers, linking them together. "Okay. Let's find Ric quickly then, shall we. He's throwing a real hitch in my day."

She laughed and followed him out the door and down the hallway. "You know, you'll feel bad for saying that if he's really in trouble…"

XOXO

This ending feels more natural to me. And it sets up the coming chapters, which I will try to get posted as soon as possible. Again, thanks for all the feedback. I would absolutely love to hear from you guys on this chapter, too. The feedback really helps inspire me.