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Hoss and the Flutterby

The loss of a parent is always hard for a child to understand even if they never had them in their life. This is a story about a very young Hoss thinking about his own mama one day while he and his father were out working the ranch.

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Four-year-old Hoss kept squirming as he tried to get more comfortable on the saddle while sitting in front of his father. Ben had decided to take Hoss out to keep him company while he worked on the fences today. Adam was at school and Ben wanted to make this a father and son time for the two of them. Ben worked sunup until sundown some days and didn't always get to spend a lot of time with his youngest son. So he thought today would be a good day to do a little work plus enjoy his youngest son's company.

Hoss had talked non-stop since they left home asking about this and that. He especially loved anything about animals or birds and even at this young age had a heart of gold where animals were concerned.

Hoss scrunched up his little face and turned to look up at his pa as he asked, "Papa, why do we have to kill animals?"

"Well, son, we only kill them for food or if they are attacking us. We never hurt an animal intentionally."

Ben gently stroked his son's head as they continued to ride along in the warm summer sunshine . He was enjoying the closeness of his little boy's body next to his and felt very protective of his young son as he sat in front of him eagerly asking questions.

"Papa, do animals go to heaven when they die like we does?"

Little Hoss leaned down and gently patted the horse's neck as he rode in front of his father waiting patiently for his answer. Ben pulled up his horse and dismounted, then reached up to help his inquisitive son down off the horse.

"I think they do, son. So when we get to heaven we can all enjoy the beauty together that the good Lord has waiting for us."

Ben placed his son on the ground and went over to inspect the first fence post. Hoss sat down on the ground beside him and squinted as he looked up at his father standing by the post with the sun shinning brightly behind him.

"Papa, do animal mamas love their babies like people does?"

Ben tugged on the post to make sure it was still holding strong. He leaned over and smiled at his youngest son.

"Yes, Hoss, I think they love their babies as much as humans do."

"Papa?"

"Yes, son."

"What's hoomans?"

Ben grinned hearing his son try and pronounce the word.

"It is another name for people, son."

"Oh."

Hoss let out a big sigh as he started to ask the next question.

"Did my mama love me as much as the kitty in the barn loves her babies? Cause she carries them by their neck and it looks like it'd hurt somethin' fierce. So why does she does that if she loves um?"

Ben smiled as he leaned down and ruffled his son's hair.

"You sure are full of questions today my son, aren't you? Yes, your mama loved you with all her heart. And the mama kitty doesn't have hands and arms to carry her kittens, so she has to use her mouth when she wants to move them from place to place."

Hoss looked up at his pa as he wrinkled his nose, "Oh…. my mama never carried me like that, did she?"

Ben let out a soft chuckle, "No, son, she never did."

After wiping the sweat from his forehead on his shirt sleeve, Ben started walking towards the next fence post.

"Come on now, Hoss, you need to stay close to me."

Hoss ran to keep up with his pa's long stride. He was bigger than most kids his age, but still had to hurry to keep up. When he caught up to his pa he plopped down in the prairie grass and lay on his belly examining the grass in front of him. Soon he became very interested in a small bug that was crawling along leaving a tiny trail in the dirt. He watched the bug intently with all the wonder of a four year old until it went into a hole in the ground and disappeared. Quickly becoming bored he started looking around to find something else to watch when he spotted a colorful bird sitting on the fence post in front of him.

"Papa?"

"Yes, son."

"Does birds get tired when they fly? Cause they sure do fly a lot!"

"I am sure they do get tired, but then they land on a tree or a fence post like that beautiful bird right there."

Ben pointed at the bird sitting in front of Hoss.

"Well what happens if they is flying and they get tired? Do they fall from the sky?"

A worried look came over the little boy's face as he waited for his father's answer. Ben couldn't help but laugh as he pushed on another post.

"No, son, they don't fall from the sky. They just land somewhere until they aren't tired anymore."

"Oh."

Hoss seemed to be content with that answer and was quiet for a moment until he grinned and asked, "Papa, how high does birds fly?"

"Oh, I imagine very high sometimes. Now come on son we have some more fence posts to check."

Ben started walking down the fence line with little Hoss following behind him trying to make a game of stepping in the same place as his father did. Quickly getting bored with this game, Hoss soon found a rock and picked it up and looked it over very carefully before throwing it as far as he could. As he bent down to pick up another rock, he suddenly spotted a bright yellow and black butterfly sitting on a prairie flower. Grinning happily Hoss carefully went over to the butterfly and quietly sat down beside it. Watching it slowly move its wings up and down as it enjoyed the warm summer breeze, Hoss was mesmerized by this delicate gift of nature.

"You sure is purty little flutterby. Where is your home? I live way back over there with my papa and brother in a big house."

Hoss pointed behind him and grinned cheerfully at the butterfly.

"You stays here and I'll be right back little flutterby."

Hoss got up quietly and hurried over to his papa.

"Papa, do flutterbys fly really high?"

Ben bent down and looked into his son's bright blue eyes. "You mean butterflies?"

"Yeah, that's what I said…. flutterbys."

Ben just smiled at his son. "Yes, I think they probably do fly very high."

"Papa?"

"Yes, son."

"Do you think they can fly all the way to heaven?"

"Maybe so son, maybe so."

Ben turned back to his work at hand and Hoss hurried back over to see the butterfly. The butterfly was still sitting on the flower enjoying the warm sun caress its beautiful wings as Hoss slowly sat down beside it.

He leaned close to the butterfly and started to whisper something to it as he gently picked it up in his chubby little hands. Carrying it very carefully cupped in his hands, he once again put his lips to his hands and softly whispered to his delicate captive. Then he opened up his hands and gently pushed the butterfly up into the sky.

"Fly high little flutterby… all the way up to heaven," he shouted, as the butterfly continued to fly upward until Hoss couldn't see it anymore.

Hoss came running over to his pa with a beautiful toothy grin on his face.

"Why are you so happy, Hoss?" Ben asked, as he saw the smile on his little son's face.

"Cause I jest told that there flutterby to go all the way up to heaven and give my mama a big kiss from me. Does you think she will get it, papa?"

Ben took his bandana from his back pocket and wiped a tear from his eye.

Then he took off his old leather glove and leaned down and put a callused hand gently on his beautiful, little son's face as he said, "I am sure she will get the kiss, Eric. And the next time a flutterby lands on you…. you will know that she sent one back to you."

xoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxo

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