Dealing with Dragons

In Which Lucy Fails at Being Proper

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Neither Fairy Tail nor the plot of Dealing with Dragons. It is a very good book though and I would recommend reading it.

Author's Note: I wrote this a really longtime ago and just found it. If you have ever read the book you will notice the plot is almost identical and will continue to be so for the next 2 or 3 chapter. Then creative license took over. So ya, you don't need to tell me I already know.

P.S. If you like the story or have anything to say please comment, they make me so happy. If nobody reviews I will assume you hate the story and stop.

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Heartfillia was a large kingdom to the East of Flamion Valley, where authors were highly respected and the number 12 was very fashionable. The knights of the kingdom kept their armor bright only for show, it had been many generations since a dragon had made its way west.

There was the occasional problem with evil fairy curses and the occasional ogre kidnappings but these were usually sorted out by marriage to the right prince or princess later on. All in all Heartfillia was a rather pleasant and prosperous place.

Lucy hated it.

Lucy was the eldest daughter of the King of Heartfillia and her parents found her rather…trying. Their other two daughters, Juvia and Levy, were perfectly normal princess, with glossy blue hair and maidenly dispositions.

While all were considered to be lovely, Lucy was different from her sisters. Where their hair was blue, hers was golden blonde, and she wore a single ponytail on the side of her head instead of loose like her sisters.

Worst of all she wouldn't stop…growing. Many found her impressive…assets to be overwhelming in…magnitude. It did not fit with the maidenly image her parents were trying to cultivate.

As for her attitude, well, when people were being polite they would say she was spirited. When they were annoyed they would call her a wild, unmanageable, terror.

The king tried his best. He hired the best tutors to teach her the proper ways of a princess. Lessons such as painting, embroidery, dancing, and etiquette.

There was a lot of etiquette.

Etiquette ranged from how to walk with a book on your head, to how low to curtsy to a visiting prince, to how loud it was polite to scream when being carried off by a giant. Heartfillia also had a bit of a giant problem.

Lucy found the business very irritating, but to please her parents she attended the lessons and learned as best she could.

When she couldn't bear the tedium any longer she would sneak down to the armory and bully the Arms Master into lessons on fighting. Soon she found she had great skill with a whip. As time passed Lucy found that her other lessons were becoming more boring as her whip lessons became more frequent.

When she was around twelve Lucy's father found out about the whip lessons and was very displeased.

"Using a whip is not proper behaviour for a princess." He declared sternly.

Lucy put her hands on her hips and scowled.

"Why not?"

"It is simply not done."

Lucy blinked and was silent for a moment.

"I'm a princess aren't I?" She asked finally.

"Yes, of course my daughter," Said the King with relief. He had been expecting an argument from his temperamental daughter.

"Well, I use a whip," Lucy stated in the most matter of fact tones. "So it is done."

"What your father means," Lucy's mother explained, hiding an amused smile, "is that it is not proper."

"Why not?"

"It simply isn't," Her father stated firmly and that was the end of Lucy's whip lessons.

When she was fourteen the queen discovered that Lucy had been making the court mage teach her magic.

"How long has this been going on?" She asked a small smile on her lips.

"Since Father stopped my fencing lessons," Lucy said stubbornly, glaring at the aforementioned man. "I suppose you're going to tell me it's not proper for a princess to learn magic?"

"W-well yes." The king stammered, "I mean no it's not proper behaviour for a princess."

"Nothing interesting seems to be proper." Lucy said before stomping away and that was the end of the magic lessons.

The same thing happened with the Latin lessons from the court author, the cooking lessons from the court chef, the economic lessons from the court treasurer, and the acrobatic lessons from the court jester.

Lucy began to get rather tired of the whole thing.

When she was 16 she called on her fairy godmother, Mirajene. It was a little odd having one's fairy godmother only slightly order then her godchild but beggars can't be choosers.

"Good afternoon Lucy-chan," Mira smiled as she fanned away the pink smoke that always accompanied her appearance.

"I'm so glad to see you Mira-chan." Lucy wailed and threw her arms around the other woman.

"What is the matter?" Mira asked as she patted Lucy gently on the back. "Your summons said it was a matter of utmost importance."

"It is a matter of upmost importance to my life and future happiness," Lucy said seriously.

"Oh Lucy-chan, is it possible you have fallen in love?" Mira clapped her hands excitedly. "Tell me all about him."

"It isn't a him." Lucy sighed. Mira was always a bit fixated on romance.

"Enchanted is he?" Mira didn't even let Lucy finish her sentence. "That is quite common. We will have him fixed up as soon as possible. Is he a frog, or maybe a hedgehog, those are very popular these days."

"No, no, no," Lucy waved her arms, trying to get Mira's attention back on track. "I'm not in love with anyone."

"Then why did you call me here?" Mira asked.

"This," Lucy gestured around her, "the lessons, the rules, the constant need to be proper. I hate it. I don't want to be a princess anymore."

"Oh Lucy-chan," Mira placed a hand on her cheek and sighed pityingly at the girl, "it is your duty. We all have our parts to play. Being a princess is yours. This is just a phase you're going through."

"Have you been talking to my parents?" Lucy asked suspiciously.

Mira shrugged.

"They like to keep me up to date on my godchildren's doings. I'm sorry Lucy-chan but there really is nothing I can do."

Lucy sighed again and said good bye to Mira. Mira glanced back as she left the room; Lucy sat staring sadly out the window. Maybe she couldn't fix Lucy's problem all together, Mira decided, but she could make it more bearable.

A few weeks later Lucy's parents took her to see a tournament in the neighboring kingdom of Wirdabeast. Lucy was suspicions that Mira had been planning something with her parents, but anything was better than the never ending lessons.

She quickly realized this to be a mistake as soon as they arrived.

The king of Wirdabeast had a son, Prince Elfman, some relation to Mira though Lucy never figured out how. He was a tall, muscular man with scar running down his left cheek. The entirety of his duties seemed to be begrudgingly attending to Lucy.

"Isn't he wonderful?" Mira clasped Lucy's hands and beamed.

"I guess…" Lucy said without enthusiasm. "Unfortunately, he seems a little dim. "

"I suppose he is a little…"

"He has a weird sense of humor, he can count the number of books he has read on one hand, he can't talk about anything buy manliness, and half the things he says make no sense. I am so glad we are only staying a few more days because I may end up strangling him."

"But what about the wedding?" Mira blurted out before clasping her hands over her mouth.

"What…wedding?" Lucy asked, ominously quiet.

"It's already all planned out. I heard Father and his majesty ironing out the details yesterday." Mira tried to put on a happy face. "The stipulations, and contracts, and settlements have all been drawn up. They are going to sign up all the papers tomorrow and announce it on Thursday."

"I see." Lucy turned on her heel and marched down the hall, her long skirts swishing behind her.

The king was a little embarrassed that his daughter had found out about his plan, while the queen shot him a glare that promised trouble. He was still very firm about it.

"I was going to tell you both tomorrow," he sighed rubbing his forehead, "when we signed the papers."

"Well, he does seem like a nice enough boy," her mother offered helplessly, "and rather good looking in a rugged sort of way."

"I do not want to marry Prince Elfman." Lucy said firmly.

"I thought it was a good match," The king said frowning, "I thought the size of his kingdom wouldn't matter to you."

"It is the prince I don't like." Lucy thought for a minute. "Anyways it isn't proper. He hasn't saved me from a curse or rescued me from a tower or anything."

"It's a little late to start planning these things now," her father narrowed his eyes, "and since when have you cared about propriety? Proper or not you will marry Prince Elfman three weeks from Thursday."

And that was the end of the conversation.

Lucy decided to try a more direct approach and went looking for Prince Elfman. He was in the training yard, bench-pressing yaks.

"Good morning Lucy-chan," he said cheerfully when he finally noticed her presence, "is there something I can do for you?"

"Yes," Lucy said casually. "You can NOT marry me."

"What?" Elfman asked, thoroughly confused.

"You don't really want to marry me do you?"

"W-well…it's not exactly…what I mean to say is…" Elfman stuttered at Lucy's furious gaze.

"Good," said Lucy, correctly interpreting his muddled reply for a "Hell No", "then tell your father you don't want to marry me."

"Oh no," Elfman waved his hands, "as a man I couldn't do that."

"And why not?" Lucy asked, exasperated.

"Because…because…because men just don't do that. It's not manly. Also, Mira would kill me if I did."

"Then how do you propose you are going to avoid marrying me?" Lucy asked, this time through gritted teeth.

"I guess I won't be able to," Elfman said, after a moment of thought. "Hey, I bet I could pick up that boulder. Because I am a man!"

Sufficiently distracted, Prince Elfman toddled off, leaving Lucy shaking her head in disgust.

Exhausted she wandered out to the castle gardens. It looked like she would have to marry prince Elfman after all.

"I would rather me eaten by a dragon," Lucy muttered aloud.

"That can be arranged." Said a voice from beside her left shoe.

Lucy looked down and saw a small blue cat staring up at her.

"D-did you just talk?"

"There isn't anyone else around." said the cat.

"Eep," said Lucy. She had never seen a talking cat before. "Are you like, an enchanted prince or something?"

"No, I'm a cat." Said the cat, as if it were the most obvious fact in the world.

"I see," said Lucy, though she really didn't.

"Why do you want to be eaten by a dragon?" The cat asked, tilting its head.

"My parents want me to marry Prince Elfman."

"Aye sir," the cat nodded sagely, "getting eaten does seem a lot better. So what are you going to do?"

"I have no idea," Lucy sat down beside the cat and started petting him, which pleased the animal to no end. "I have tried talking to my parents and even Prince Elfman. Nothing worked."

"Your weird," the cat giggled. "I didn't ask what you said, I asked what you're going to do. Talking is a stupid way to solve problems."

"What would you do?"

"Fight him?" the cat guessed.

"No way," Lucy shook her head. "He would snap me like a twig."

"Turn him into a fish?"

"Hmm, I never got that far in my magic lessons. I am a stellar spirit mage after all."

"Nya," The cat turned his wide eyes on Lucy, "can't you do anything?"

"I can curtsy," Lucy snapped, "I know 17 different types of dances, 9 ways to agree with someone without actually promising anything, and 143 embroidery stitches, and I know how to make flaming cherries jubilee."

"Flaming cherries jubilee?" The cat asked thoughtfully.

"Yes, I learned it from the palace chef before my parents made me stop."

The cat stretched and sat up straight.

"I guess you have no other choice. You should run away."

"That," Lucy said dully, "is a very bad idea."

"So you would rather marry Prince Elfman?" Asked the cat. "Do you want my advice or not?"

Lucy nodded hesitantly.

"Go to the main road outside the city. Follow it away from the mountains, eventually you will reach a small fountain made of gold surrounded by trees made of silver with emerald leaves. Go straight past it without stopping and don't talk to anyone who tries to talk to you. Keep walking till you reach a shack, and knock on the door three times, then snap your fingers and go inside. Some people there may be able to help you. Tell them Happy sent you, it might help…or not."

Abruptly two wings sprouted from the cat's back and he took off into the air.

"Thank you," Lucy called belatedly. The cat's advice was really weird.

Lucy stood and made her way back to the castle. She spent the rest of the day being forced into her wedding dress so it could be fitted. By the end of the day she was ready to tear the stupid thing to shreds. The bodice was built either for a smaller woman or to keep her from escaping by asphyxiating her. Lucy was unsure which it was. At dinner she had to sit beside Prince Elfman and listen to his endless stories about manliness.

Lucy was more than ready to take the cat's advice.

As the castle slept Lucy bundled up 5 clean handkerchiefs, her best crown, her whip, and a loaf of bread. With these items in hand she snuck quietly out of the castle.

By morning Lucy was well away from the castle and heading down the road away from the mountains. It was hot and dusty, making Lucy wish she had brought some water instead of only bread. By noon Lucy noticed a small grove of trees that looked like a good place to rest.

As she drew closer Lucy found that the trees were made of fine silver with glistening emerald leaves. In the center of the grove sat a small gold fountain, shadowed by the surrounding trees.

Lucy slowed to a stop and stared longingly at the cool looking water. Just then a voice called out.

"Dear girl, you look so tired and thirsty. Come and sit with me by the fountain."

The voice was so kind Lucy almost stepped off the road, before she remembered the cat's advice. Without a word Lucy turned and hurried down the path.

A little further down the road was a tiny, dilapidated looking shack.

Lucy stared doubtfully at it for a moment before sighing. She really didn't have anything to lose. Brushing off her skirt, and donning her crown, Lucy made her way to the door.

She knocked once, twice, three times, and snapped her fingers, just like the cat had told her to, then pushed the door open and went in.

…

K and that is chapter one. What do you all think should I continue? There will be some Natsu next chapter so be ready 3 TTFN~