"So, listen, I know we're not even official girlfriends yet, and I don't wanna end anything before it has the chance to begin, but I need to ask you about something." Emily gives me a funny look, motioning me closer.
She's been coming over almost every morning to make breakfast for us while I set up blankets in the living room for us to lounge in while we watch TV and just talk for a bit. It's been pretty perfect. Thing is, I can't stop thinking about what she said in her sleep. I know, I know, it was a long time ago Santana, get over it, you got the girl. But, it wasn't just once. Emily's said the name Alison in her sleep four times now, and that's only counting the times when I'm around to hear it.
I don't want to be weird, and like, interrogate her, but I'm just worried.
"You worry too much. Ask away." She says, pulling me into a hug and giving me a quick kiss.
I smile at her, dropping another kiss to her lips to conjure up some courage. "Uh, it's kinda weird. And, like, please don't be mad or anything, because I'm not mad, I just don't, um… okay, so you do this thing," Emily looks like she's stifling a laugh, but I can tell she's doing her best to keep a straight face and let me get through with my rambling. "And, I mean, it's not like a thing, you know? It's just, uh, something."
"Santana, just tell me what's wrong." She looks a little worried now but I can still see the humor on her face.
I let out a heavy sigh. Guess there's only one way to do this. "Who's Alison?"
And suddenly, the humor is gone. Emily backs up a little, sliding her arms from around my neck until her hands are lightly grasping my forearms. "Wh-what?"
"I'm not mad, I don't even know enough to be mad about anything regarding her; I just—I wanna know who she is."
"What are you—how did you even find out about her?"
Okay, so now I'm a little nervous. Why is Emily freaking out? I should be the one freaking out; my almost-girlfriend's been saying some other girl's name for weeks! How am I supposed to keep calm now? "What do you mean find out about her? What's there to find out?"
I don't even know how to classify what emotion I'm feeling right now, but I'm trying to keep what little composure I have. I'm just confused, and scared, and worried, I can't lose Emily now. What if Alison's better than me? What if she's Emily's girl from back home? How am I supposed to compete with that?
Emily takes a steady breath. "No, Santana, it's nothing like that. Ali—she and I aren't involved."
"Then why are you being so weird now?"
She shakes her head, and I feel like I might be overstepping, but I need to know what's going on. I can't go into another relationship built on secrets.
"It's a long story, San. But baby, listen to me, I'm not doing anything to hurt you. I'm not going to hurt you." She moves in to kiss me, and I let her. I don't want to leave things like this, though. Obviously something's not right here.
I pull her back to me, kissing the side of her neck. "I want to know. We don't have to talk about her right now, but I want to know what's going on, okay? Soon."
"Soon, I promise." Her arms are back around my neck and mine are around her waist, and from that point on, Alison doesn't matter. She doesn't even exist.
Emily presses us closer together, nuzzling our noses together gently. "I don't want you to be mad."
"Just tell me there's nothing to be mad about." My eyes search hers, looking for some kind of confirmation that this Alison girl isn't going to come between Emily and me. Emily is quickly becoming the one person that can brighten my mood. Having something separate us so easily wouldn't be something I could handle.
She shakes her head at me, meeting my eyes. "There isn't. Just give me a little time, it's a long story and I want to make sure I tell it right."
I nod, kissing her sweetly. "Take all the time you need, baby. I don't want to talk about her anymore today."
She nods back, "me either." Emily smiles, navigating us towards the sofa while keeping our bodies pressed so tightly I thought our limbs might start to combine. I mumble a "good," pressing our lips back together, the way they belong.
My arms tighten around her, fingers gently scratching at the small of her back. She smiles into our kisses, pushing back with as much force she can without being aggressive. She turns us so that the back of my legs hit the sofa, pushing me down gently without separating our lips. Her legs straddle mine, and she presses a series of short kisses to my lips once we're situated. She parts from me, looking into my eyes while wearing a soft smile.
"I like you a lot."
This earns her another kiss. "I get that a lot." I wink at her, pulling her closer, always closer, and letting our lips brush.
And just like that, everything's back to normal.
xx
It's getting pretty late in the afternoon, and Emily left for work at around one. Basically, there's nothing to do. Because yes, I do live in the Big Apple, but no, it's not fun to walk these streets alone in the pouring rain while everyone's cramped together and a vast majority of New Yorkers are coughing, usually into my face.
The days of autumn are among us, and now's probably the worst time to do anything. Aside from the tragedy of summer leaving me, another one is quickly approaching: my first day at college is only a few weeks away.
I don't know what to do. I know I should be doing something productive, but I have no clue what that would be. I've already done a couple summer assignments, and Emily helped me annotate a few things on my syllabuses that were mailed to me to help me throughout the year.
I've called Rachel, and she's recommended that I do about a million college preparation workshops, which I have lied to her about going to. She's basically spent all of her free time researching which projects will help me with which classes, and which teachers will appreciate what background knowledge, and blah, blah, blah. I might as well let her attend my classes for me.
There's not much else that I can do, but I just don't feel ready.
xx
Emily's supposed to be leaving work in about forty minutes, so after tidying up around my apartment, I decide to meet her at the coffee shop and wait for her to finish her shift so I can walk her back to her place.
So, Emily is a barista, and she wears this cute little red apron with a smiling coffee mug ironed onto the front, and god, I love when she has her hair pulled back like that. She wears these black shorts with her uniform and a plain white t-shirt, and even though it's such a simple outfit, she looks so fucking beautiful.
"Hey there, cutie," I walk up to her at the register, giving her a wink. "I'm looking for something, but I can't remember the name of it. Can you help me out?"
She gives a smile to match mine, rolling her eyes. "I'd love to. Do you remember what it tasted like?"
I stare off into the distance for a moment before giving Emily another wide smile, suddenly remembering exactly what I wanted. "Mm, sweet, but also a little spicy," Emily raises her eyebrows, egging me on. "Very sweet, though. Definitely hot." I lean forward over the counter, grabbing her hand and pulling her a little closer. We smile at each other; I swear this girl will be the death of me. "Do you know what I'm talking about?"
Emily smiles, shaking her head at me. "I think I have an idea." She moves in closer, brushing the tip of her nose against mine before turning around at lightning speed, right as I move in to kiss her. Her laughter fills the tiny café, and she starts brewing a drink.
She returns a moment later with a cupped drink in her hand, holding it out to me. "One pumpkin spice latte, that'll be two dollars and fifty nine cents," she beams at me, offering me the cup.
I roll my eyes this time, passing her a five. "Keep the change." She smiles again, looking around to make sure no customers were around before giving me a warm kiss.
"Thank you," Emily says, handing me my receipt and swiftly kissing me again. "Let me clock out and I'll meet you outside."
I nod, taking the cup out of her hand and pressing a kiss to her cheek before exiting the coffee shop.
xx
A/N: Hello, again. Sorry this one is a little short, I just wanted to get this posted. Review and let me know what you'd like to see in upcoming chapters!