A/N: Back with more! This time Starfleet Command in throwing in their two cents about matters. Please read, enjoy and review.

Chapter 11: Starfleet Command Rules Too

301. You are not to tell primitive natives of a planet than you can/will call the wrath of potatoes down on them.

302. It is not your planet and you cannot force people off it if they offend you.

303. Do not start playing the quiet game when we hail you.

304. You may not rename The Enterprise "Titanic", it's a bad idea Kirk.

305: That thing you all did to the Klingon home world with bacon and toilet paper, don't do it again.

306. No, you may not have a cookie.

307. Whoever keeps your mission logs has been altering them to read like bad romance novels.

308. Do not order 1.5 trillion empty cardboard boxes. What did you plan to do with those?!

309. We do not need delivering from the tyranny of floors.

310. Stop sending us unusually erect bananas.

311. We're not an evil empire controlled by the Sith, what are Sith?

312: Do not threaten ensigns with cannibalism.

313. Harry Mudd's wife and an army of her robotic copies are not to be unleashed upon unsuspecting enemies.

314. You may not host a cattle ranch on your ship.

315. Do not reenact an episode of "Lost in Space" by getting lost in space.

316. Stop nonchalantly picking your nose during meetings.

317. Do not have spelling bees during negotiations with Romulans.

318. Do not scream in bloodcurdling terror and agony for no reason.

319. We do not like C4 and you are to stop sending large quantities of it to us by mail.

320. You are not the Mafia of 1920-30's Chicago.

321. None of you have "the moves like Jagger" and you are not to practice these moves you don't have on table tops at official Starfleet dinners.

322. Can't you people go a week without getting into a near disaster situation?

323. "Biology" is not a good enough reason to alter your course, especially if you aren't Klingon.

324. We won't ask about the scorch marks on the toilet but don't let it happen again.

325. "The alien entity that feeds off negative emotions made me do it" is not a good excuse.

326. You all have questionable sanity, all of you.

327. Food fights are not only a waste of perfectly good food but they are not the answer to interdepartmental conflict.

328. You are not to file for bankruptcy under the name "Y. O. Mamasfat", you don't have to file for bankruptcy ever first of all, but especially don't do it under such a name.

329. You are not to use rooms not designated as bathrooms as bathrooms.

330. Please do not hack a loogie on the faces of alien ambassadors, unless that's not considered an insult, however it may be considered a marriage proposal so…just be mindful of whom you hack loogies on. Don't hack loogies on Starfleet admirals.