The premise of this story is that Castle and Beckett are looking through a scrapbook and recalling events of their life together. Each chapter will tell a different story and hopefully paint a picture of the life they've shared. This chapter isn't "M", but some of the future ones will be.
Thanks to Softer for her input and to Educate for being the best friend in the whole world.
As I'm sure we all know, these characters don't belong to me. There are slight spoilers for "47 Seconds" in this chapter.
Present day
Castle poured two glasses of wine and carried them into the family room. He handed one to Kate before carefully stoking the fire and then settling on the couch beside her.
"Is that the scrapbook Alexis brought over?" he asked with a nod at the book in her lap.
"Yes," she replied as she offered him a smile. "I thought we might take a trip down memory lane tonight."
Castle glanced out the window at the steadily falling snow before meeting her questioning glance. "It sounds like a great way to spend the evening."
Kate reached out and gave his leg a gentle squeeze before shifting so she was snuggled against his side. Castle placed his wine glass on the table beside him and then draped his arm around her shoulders.
"It's a beautiful book," Kate said as she traced her fingers along the dark brown cover.
"I'm especially fond of the picture she chose for the cover," Castle replied. "It's one of my favorites."
"Our wedding day," Kate said. "I was so done with posing for pictures and yet you managed to keep me smiling."
"You were absolutely stunning that day, Kate."
Kate smiled and leaned up to brush a kiss against his lips. "Flattery will get you everywhere, Mr. Castle."
"Don't I know it," he replied with a chuckle.
Kate opened the cover of the scrapbook and the two of them read the dedication that Alexis had written for them.
To mom and dad:
If a picture's worth a thousand words
And tells a story by itself.
Then the pages of this book are filled
With an amazing kind of wealth.
The good, the bad, the ridiculously funny.
Captured for all to see.
The story of our life from one generation to the next,
This is our legacy.
We laugh, we love, we fight and scream
But we never stand alone.
We are a family by choice
And no matter where we go,
When we're together, we are home.
"She's definitely your daughter," Kate said as she finished reading and looked up at Castle.
Castle merely nodded his agreement as Kate turned the page. An 8x10 photo of the two of them filled the next page. In it, Castle was standing behind Kate, his arms wrapped around her waist and his chin resting on her shoulder. The smiles they wore were nearly drowned out by the black eye that marred Castle's features.
"Do you remember Alexis taking that one?" Castle asked.
"How could I forget?" she replied. "That black eye nearly ended us."
The Past
Castle sat on his couch, an ice pack pressed against the left side of his face and a glass of scotch in his right hand. He still didn't understand why Beckett had been so upset with him. He'd saved her life…again, but instead of thanking him, she'd kicked him out of the precinct as soon as they'd gotten back. The icy stare she'd sent his way when he'd started to protest had silenced him and forced his feet toward the elevator.
The silence of the loft when he'd gotten home had prompted him to pour himself a drink, and the throbbing in his face had led him to the freezer for an ice pack. He still had no idea what Beckett had been so upset about.
XOXOXOXOX
Beckett stepped into the lobby of Castle's building and made a beeline for the elevator. A terse nod of thanks to the doorman, Jeffrey, took the place of the usual friendly conversation they exchanged. As she punched the button for the elevator and then tapped her foot as she awaited its arrival, Jeffrey couldn't help but shake his head. It was obvious that Detective Kate Beckett was pissed off.
As he watched her step into the elevator car and punch the button for what he knew was Richard Castle's floor, he couldn't help but be grateful that he wasn't the one on the receiving end of her anger. Although from the look of Mr. Castle's face when he'd arrived a couple of hours ago, he'd already been on the receiving end of something.
XOXOXOXOX
Castle groaned when he heard the doorbell. There were only a few people who could get past Jeffrey without a phone call alerting him. The sharp knock and terse "Castle, open up" that immediately followed only confirmed his suspicions.
Keeping the ice pack against his swollen eye, he made his way to the door. It was obviously time to pay the piper.
XOXOXOXOX
Beckett didn't wait for an invitation. As soon as Castle opened the door, she pushed her way inside.
"What in the hell were you thinking?" she asked.
"He had a knife, Beckett. I thought he was going to stab you," he replied.
"He had a knife, Castle! He could've stabbed you," she shot back at him.
"I couldn't just stand there and watch. You were in danger."
"Danger comes with the job, Castle," she replied as she turned to face him, waiting while he closed the door. "I'm a cop."
"And I'm your partner," he replied. "It's my job to watch your back."
"That doesn't mean putting yourself in the line of fire."
"What else was I supposed to do?" he asked, taking a step closer to her. "I couldn't just stand there and watch him get the drop on you."
Kate closed her eyes – the scene playing behind them again.
Kate followed the suspect down the hall, knowing that Ryan and Esposito would be cutting him off from the other direction. They had him cornered. He wisely dropped his gun and raised his hands into the air.
"On your knees," Kate ordered.
The suspect dropped to his knees and Kate holstered her gun as she approached him. She had just snapped one of the cuffs on his wrist when she heard Esposito's warning from in front of her. "Knife!"
She turned in time to see Castle lunge at their suspect's younger brother, the knife he'd been carrying skidding across the floor. The two of them wrestled for a minute before the younger man got the upper hand, his right cross landing squarely on the side of Castle's face. Momentarily stunned, Castle was easily pushed aside as the young man scramble for his knife.
As his fingers wrapped around the hilt, he turned angry eyes to Castle. A feeling of dread washed over Kate as she recognized his intentions.
"He could've killed you, Castle," she said.
"And he undoubtedly would've killed you," he replied.
Kate shook her head. "You don't get it, do you?"
"I guess I don't," he replied. "Why don't you explain it to me?"
Kate let out what sounded like a growl and turned her back to him. "You're not a cop, Castle. You shouldn't be in situations where your life is on the line."
"But I should just stand by idly and watch while yours is in danger?" he replied. "That's not going to happen. I can take care of myself."
"It's not your job to take care of yourself," she said as she turned back to face him again. "It's my job to protect you!"
"Why don't you trust me?" he asked.
"What?"
"Why don't you trust me?" he repeated.
Kate blinked and shook her head. "I do trust you."
"No, you don't," he argued. "Not with the important stuff."
"That's not true."
"It is true," he replied. "You trust me to help you build theory, but you still don't trust me to watch your back. Not like you trust Ryan and Esposito."
"They're trained police officers, Castle."
"And I've been shadowing you for four years now. How much more on the job training do I need before you'll trust me? I get that you're never going to trust me with your heart and I'm doing my best to come to terms with that. But after everything that we've been through, surely you don't still have doubts about my ability to handle myself in the field."
That pulled Kate up short. "Never going to trust you with my heart?"
When Castle merely stared at her, she narrowed her eyes at him. "What are you talking about?"
"Bobby Lopez," he stated. "I heard your interrogation. I heard how you remember every second of the day you were shot. Every second, Kate."
Understanding dawned on Kate and suddenly everything made sense.
"Is that why you've been pulling away?" she asked. "Why you haven't been at the precinct as much? Because you heard what I said?"
Castle averted his gaze, the ice pack in his hand suddenly seeming very interesting.
"Castle?"
"I just needed some time to come to grips with it, Kate," he said softly.
"To come to grips with what?" she asked.
"That there's never going to be an 'us'," he replied, his eyes once again meeting hers.
"I…" she began, but he cut her off.
"It's okay, Kate. I get it. You don't have to say it." After a pause, he added. "I thought I could still do this, but I think today has proven that it's time for me to move on."
Kate felt tears sting her eyes and the realization that she was about to lose him settled over her. "Castle…Rick, no."
Castle turned and opened the door again. "Goodbye, Kate."
Kate looked at the open door and then back to Castle. Taking a step forward, she grabbed the edge of the door and slammed it shut.
"Like hell, Castle," she said, turning to face him.
Before he could register what she was doing, she reached up and framed his face with her hands, pulling his lips down to hers.
Completely caught off guard, it took a moment for Castle to react, but then he dropped the ice pack and brought his hands to her hips, pulling her tight against him as he kissed her back. Kate deepened the kiss, doing her best to convey everything she felt for him. Her lips moved over his, her tongue seeking entrance into his mouth as she wrapped her arms around his neck, crushing her chest to his.
Castle's hands tightened on her hips, gently forcing her away from him.
"Kate?"
Kate moved her hands to his shoulders, not wanting to lose contact with him, but knowing that he deserved an explanation.
"I wasn't rejecting you, Castle."
"Then why did you lie to me?"
"I needed time to heal," she replied. "I knew that I needed to work on me before I could truly give myself to you."
Castle blinked. "What are you saying?"
Kate shook her head. "That I love you, too, Castle."
Castle blinked again, his mind not fully believing what his ears were hearing. "You love me?"
Kate chuckled. "Yes, Rick. I love you."
Castle pulled her into his embrace, his arms going around her waist and pulling her tight against him again. "Oh Kate, I love you, too."
Kate pressed her lips against his neck, her arms tightening around his shoulders. "I was so scared earlier when I saw Pauley turn that knife on you, Rick. All I could think was that he was going to hurt you and there was nothing I could do to stop it."
"I'm sorry that I scared you, Kate," he replied. "I just knew that I had to do something to stop him."
Kate pulled back to look at him. "I do trust you, Castle. With my life. And with my heart."
Castle leaned down and gently brushed his lips against hers. "I'm sorry I hurt you, Kate."
"I'm sorry I hurt you, too, Rick," she replied as she leaned in for another kiss.
Present day
Kate ran her finger along the photograph and then looked up at Castle. "I really thought I was going to lose you that day."
"I thought I'd already lost you," he replied.
Kate leaned over and kissed him. "It turned out to be the start of something beautiful instead."
"That it did," he agreed. "Something beautiful indeed."
Thank you for reading.
Reviews are greatly appreciated and feed the muse.