Aragorn watched the approaching
mass of Orcs from the back of his horse moodily,
and with a lingering sense of dread. He had been fairly irritable,
and
strangely forlorn. Ever since he had forced Legolas to vow to keep
his
distance. Even though, to his knowledge Legolas had been keeping that
promise,
Aragorn found those, brief, fleeting glimpses of the Elf more distracting
than
before, such as now.
From his position atop the horse, Aragorn could look down on his
waiting
soldiers with ease. From here, he could, just barely!, see the slightest
hint of
Legolas' hair, his vision impaired by the fact the elf was kneeling
in the
dirt, obviously outlining specific strategies to the other elves kneeling
about
him, another visionary blockade. Beside him knelt Gimli, making loud,
approving
sounds. Aragorn was envious. Aragorn was envious of anybody that got
near the
elf, of anybody who had the privilege to touch him while he did not.
Aragorn was
especially envious of the shirt Legolas was wearing.
This is not working, he thought. He had made Legolas promise not
to go
anywhere near him with the hope that the elf would never take another
stupid
risk for his sake, and also, privately, that it would help him, possibly
stop
him from caring so intimately for the elf. He admitted that. But now
the reverse
was happening, if anything he wanted the elf by his side more now then
before,
and he could barely stop himself from running up to him and dropping
on his
knees to beg for forgiveness. Now, not only had he ruined their friendship
beyond repair, but he had also crushed the elf in more ways then he
could
possibly count.
Right then, while Aragorn was watching, Legolas reached over
and pulled
Gimli into a passionate kiss. It was long and deep as the ex-lovers
re-visited
the depths of each other's mouths. Aragorn almost fell off his horse
when he
saw this, his heart was ripped asunder and he felt as if the world
had opened up
and swallowed him whole. Gimli was in heaven, Legolas and him had shared
years
of passion, but Legolas had been to embarrassed to be seen with a dwarf
so he
had broken off their relationship. The other elves were shocked beyond
imagining, they couldn't believe that a fellow elf would degrade himself
by
doing that. In their eyes kissing a dwarf was worse then kissing a
human. Way
worse. And that was saying something. Almost nothing was worse then
kissing a
human.
Legolas pulled Gimli into a tree. It was fall so all of the leaves
had
fallen off but at least it offered some protection. Legolas smiled
at Gimli and
with a "now that we're alone" pushed him down and started making
passionate love to him. The elves and all the Orcs that had been sneaking
up on
them sat around the tree and watched enthralled by their fun. Aragorn
leaped
into the tree and accidentally pushed Legolas off of it. Mistaking
Gimli for
Legolas, I really don't know how he managed that, he pulled him into
an
embrace and started kissing him. He soon fell off the tree sputtering
not
believing that he had actually done something as gross as kissing a
dwarf. The
only thing grosser then that was kissing an orc. Which he had the misfortune
to
do a second later. Thinking he finally had Legolas in his grasp he
reached down
and kissed the leader of the Orcs. He turned and barfed all over Legolas.
Legolas, with a valley girl exclamation of "eew, how gross" ran off
into the
woods screaming.
Everybody ran after him knowing that being around him would bring
entertainment for hours. Aragorn caught up first, rinsed his mouth
out, and made
passionate love to him. When he was finally spent he looked lovingly
down at
Arwen. "Ew a girl, I have cooties" He screamed and ran off into the
woods
lamenting his poor luck.
Legolas on the other hand was having sex with anything that came
close
enough and paid enough money, seeing that he was a whore and well,
just wanted
to have sex. Gimli was sad because Legolas had been using him. Well
he really
wasn't that sad, seeing that he had had free sex with a master whore
for free.
In the end it didn't really matter cause Gimli was eaten by a bear.
The End