Chapter 17

Silence is golden, but duct-tape is silver

My breathing was ragged as I looked up at Jin. He was holding his hands up, palms facing me like I had a gun. He was doing that don't-shoot-I'm-harmless pose. He was still talking to me. He edged a little closer.

"I can't hear you Jin." I said and tensed my fingers in Kodachi's hair. She was getting heavy. I was literally holding her entire body weight up with one hand. For now I could do it, but if Jin kept stalling me I was either going to have to put her down or kill her. Strike that, I was just gonna kill her.

Jin put his hands on mine and looked me in the eye. He shook his head. Jin's eyes darted down to Kodachi then up at me. His lips moved very slowly and clearly. "We. Need. Her. Alive."

Apparently Kodachi heard what Jin said, as her limp body grew a little tense. I pressed the blade just enough to draw blood. The motion quieted her down again.

I barred my teeth. Needed her alive, my ass. What possible...

I took a calming breath and forced my adrenaline soaked mind to think. Breathe in, hold, out. In, hold, out. As I forced myself to calm I began to see Jin's point. Kodachi did have some worth with her throat still intact. If nothing else, she would serve as a lovely example to Tempest.

"Don't get excited Kodachi. You are going to die, make no mistake about that. However, I will allow you to choose how you go. If you behave and do as Jin tells you, you will be killed quickly and with as little pain as possible. If you do anything to make me doubt you. If you so much as look at me wrong. I will hang you up by your toes and slice you apart one piece at a time. And I promise you, Kodachi, your death will be slow and it will be horrible." I meant the words that came out of my mouth.

Jin squeezed my hands and I looked up at him. He wasn't alone. That Yoko guy was back. He met my eyes and smiled approvingly . It was nice to know that somebody agreed with me. Jin pressed his body to mine and slipped both of his hands over mine. I looked into his eyes and saw that he wanted me to let her go. Part of me wanted to, the other newly discovered psychopath part wasn't so sure.

"Let. Go." Jin's words were crisp and clear, easy to read.

My hands twitched under his and the blood flowed a little faster from Kodachi's neck. But, in the end, Jin's request won out. With a shuddering breath, I released my grip and stepped back as Jin took my place. He held Kodachi for a second before giving her a rough kick forward. I watched as something green shot out from Yoko's hand and wound around Kodachi like snakes. She ended up bound from head to toe complete with gag, blindfold, and (weirdly enough) earplugs.

I looked away from her and felt my whole body begin to shake as the realization of what I had done sank home. I could have...NO! I was GOING TO! I was going to ki...kill her. I collapsed to my knees, gasping great gulps of air. I crossed my arms over my stomach and started to rock slowly back and forth. I was a monster. Despite the hot air that surrounded me, I felt cold. I was a god-damned psychopath. The thing that was scaring me the most was that, in my heart of hearts, I knew that if Jin hadn't stopped me, I would have killed her and felt nothing.

I felt a scream building in the back of my throat. I was grieving because I could have killed and felt nothing! Life should have meant something! It was precious! How could I snuff out the most precious of all things and feel NOTHING! I felt the beginning of the scream bubble out from my lips. But I threw my hands over my mouth and curled into myself. If I started screaming, I wouldn't stop. I would scream, and scream, and scream until my throat stopped working.

Two strong arms wrapped themselves around me. Rough lips kissed my forehead, my cheeks, my lips. I latched onto Jin and buried my eyes in the curve of his neck. I could feel his throat vibrating as he spoke. His lips moved against my hair. Deep in my chest I could feel that bit of red pulsing, sending waves of strength through me. You're okay it seemed to say. I love you, I'm here...

Jin leaned me back from him and locked his blue eyes onto mine. Something wavered in his eyes that looked suspiciously like tears. He grimaced and tilted my head to the side. Strong calloused fingers moved my hair out of the way and traced the blood that ran from my ears. They trailed down my jaw, my neck, to my now ruined shirt. They explored the smooth stones of the fake pearl necklaces I wore. Things had been so crazy that I forgot to take it off. His hands moved up to my jaw and turned my face back toward him. His thumbs reached up and gently traced my lower lip. I jerked back at the pain. It suddenly struck me that I had one hell of a fat lip. I must look like hell.

I suddenly felt self conscious with how intently he was looking at me. I ran a hand through my hair, but my fingers didn't end by my shoulders where I expected them to. I removed my fingers early and pulled my extremely long locks over my shoulder. I'd never had hair so long before, the tangled mess was at least to my ankles. I gladly let this new distraction pull me away from him, mentally at least.

Jin didn't let me go though. Instead he brought me back to him by turning my face towards him and laying a feather soft kiss to my lips. I wrapped my arm around his neck and pulled him in tighter, heedless of my complaining swollen lip. His arms convulsed on my back, crushing me to him. Somewhere in the back of my mind I realized that this was our first kiss. Sharp teeth nibbled my soar lip, making me gasp slightly. Jin took my parted lips as an invitation and slipped a warm, wet tongue into my mouth.

I jerked back from the taste, ending our kiss. I knew that taste. I had experienced it enough when those lizard men...

I scrambled back from him, fear eating at my belly. I was on my back arms held up in a defensive block before I registered what happened. I looked up into Jin's hurt eyes. I licked my lips as I realized what I had done. I had rejected him. Even worse, I had feared him. Jin started to pull away and I realized I only had one chance to make this bad experience go away. If I did nothing, this one bit of resistance would haunt us for the rest of our lives. We would be close, but we would be awkward with each other. This was something that could drive us apart.

He was almost to his feet when I reached out and grabbed his hands, pulling him back down. He let me do it, watching me with wary eyes. It hurt my heart to see him look at me that way. It took everything I had left to crawl back into his lap. My heart was pounding and I felt light headed as I pressed our lips back together. Jin didn't help me, but he didn't stop me either. I brought my hands up and placed them on either side of his face to steady myself. With a shaky breath I deepened the kiss. He responded to my touch, but he was more gentle with me then I had ever felt him be before. His hands ghosted my shoulders, almost as if he was afraid I would break if he touched me too hard. I pulled back from the kiss, too chicken to try the whole tongue thing.

I opened my eyes and looked up into Jin's heated blue ones. "I love you." The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. But, now that they were said, I didn't want to take them back. I said them again. "I love you Jin." I let the feeling fill my eyes as I looked at him. I did, I really did love him.

His arms crushed me to him one more time. Something wet fell on my hand. I looked up and saw a tear trail its way down his cheek. He caught me looking and wiped it away. A goofy smile broke across his face before he closed his eyes and his shoulders started to shake. It took me a second to realize that he was laughing. He laughed for about a minuet before he looked back over his shoulder and shouted something behind him.

I followed his gaze and watched as Yoko picked up the hog-tied Kodachi and flung her over his shoulder. With a flick of a silver tail (I don't know how I missed it before) he was gone. I gasped as an arm tucked under my knees and while another hugged my shoulder. I had enough time to look up as Jin got to his feet then took off with me in his arms. The earth shrank below us and I burred my eyes into his neck.

I wanted to ask where we were going, but it wouldn't have done me any good. Besides, we would be there soon anyway.

…

I ended up in the skillful hands of Tsubaki again. As it turned out, I wasn't her only patient. Demons lay broken and bleeding in her medical tent. There was even one of Hoko...Hoku...Mr. H's men here. He was being bandaged up by a girl that I had never seen before. It looked like he had a really nasty gut wound. I watched as Tsubaki finished with somebody else before she made her way over to me. A younger girl of, I would say no more then seven, followed behind the old woman. The child held out a bowl full of clean water that Tsubaki washed her hands in before she made her way over to me.

Her lips were moving too fast for me to read. I sighed and watched as Jin replied, just as rapidly. Hand motions punctuating his sentences. Now that I couldn't hear, it made me realize just how much Jin talked with his hands. I let a small smile cross my face as Jin closed his hands and then threw them wide, wiggled his fingers. He must have been talking about the explosion. Tsubaki looked back at me and gestured for me to take a seat. I walked over to an empty stool and sat down. I looked up as Jin leaned down and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"I'll. Be. Back." He said clearly to me.

I was about to tell him okay when Tsubaki reached up and grabbed him by a long ear. My hands flew to my mouth as I watched her pull Jin by the ear and sit him down on another stool. I couldn't help but laugh as Tsubaki took a flashlight from the young girl and started checking Jin's eyes out. After a few moments of inspection (it was really more like fighting) Tsubaki must have given him the all clear. Jin was up and out of the tent like a shot, it was almost as if he couldn't get away fast enough. Tsubaki rolled her eyes and washed her hands again.

My subsiding giggles turned into full fledged laughter as Jin pocked his head back in and, noticing Tsubaki had her back to us, gave me a quick hug before escaping the tent again. Tsubaki smiled at me and took a wet cloth from the child. She walked over and gently started to clean the blood from my skin. I closed my eyes and relaxed into her touch. I yelped when Tsubaki nabbed my chin and poked something into my ear. Her grip on my chin held my head still so I couldn't get away. After a few painful moments, she took the thing out of my ear. Her iron grip turned my head the other way and she again did the same to the other. I gritted my teeth and ignored the new throbbing that her device had caused. After what seemed like a long time, she let me go.

I brought my hands up to my ears and gently touched them as Tsubaki turned away and started scribbling on a piece of paper. After a moment she handed me the paper and let me read it. My eyes scanned the note and envied her neat scrawl. I felt my eyebrows knit in worry when I read that my ear drums had exploded. Though she could heal me, I was going to be deaf for at least another week. I sighed in relief. Thank god it wasn't permanent.

I looked up when I finished the paper. Tsubaki grabbed my chin and I flinched, expecting the horrid feeling of another instrument. Instead I felt something warm and I got a really bad itch deep in my ear. I shuttered as the itch slowly receded, leaving a ringing sound in its wake. Gauze was shoved in and she bandaged it in place. The process was repeated on the other side.

"Thank you." I said as I got to my feet.

I was just about to leave when her hand grabbed my wrist. She shot me a look the clearly said where-are-you-going.

"I'm going out?" My sentence came out as a question.

Tsubaki shook her head no and pointed to an empty cot.

"But I'm not hurt." I persisted.

The scowl she gave me had my proverbial tail tucked between my legs as I obediently walked over to the cot and sat down. That woman was scary when she wanted to be. With a glare she pointed at me and made a gesture for sleeping. I quirked an eyebrow. I was supposed to sleep at a time like this? She glared at me until I lost my nerve and lay down on the cot. With a nod of approval she turned and walked off to take care of somebody else.

…

End chapter 17

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Ps. I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho...I haven't said that in a while.