I'm sorry it took me so long to update. I intended to update this very soon after I updated Holding it Together, but real life took a bit of a turn. Everyone is okay, but I was feeling very low for a while and I feel like I am just getting back to normal. Since I already am slow updating because grad school takes up so much of my time, my writing schedule became almost nonexistent. The situation is no where near resolved, but I am at least coming to terms with it. I hope you enjoy this update, despite the delay! Please review to tell me what you think!
I still don't own Harry Potter.
The cool showers of spring gave way to a rather balmy summer, and with each passing day Tonks felt September 1st looming ever nearer. Teddy's growing excitement, while somewhat contagious, did not keep her from wishing this summer could last forever. She made a point to spend less time at work, and more time with Teddy. Remus even joined them for some of their outings: the cinema, the zoo, and a day trip to the shore. She also began preparing to take on some of Kingsley's protection detail. She knew that he and Harry had caved on this because they knew they couldn't stop her and this was the least dangerous assignment she could take on. Better to give in to this without a fight before she assigned herself an undercover assignment as soon as Teddy had gone off to school. So far as the other Aurors understood, she was observing the probationary Aurors to give performance assessments. At this point, they were accustomed to her unorthodox level of involvement in the training and vetting of recruits, so no one questioned it.
"Excited to be back in the field?" asked Kingsley, without taking his eyes from the gathered crowd. Tonks, who was standing next to him morphed as a tall, imposing, but all together unremarkable-looking woman, just laughed.
"This is a far cry from chasing Death Eaters, but at least your security detail gets me out of the office."
"Well, maybe you'll get lucky and today will be the day someone attacks me and we will both get to practice our dueling."
"If we want a real challenge, let's hope there are two!"
"Maybe the two people in charge of Wizarding Britain shouldn't be wishing for mayhem."
"Fair enough," Tonks laughed.
"Speaking of mayhem..." Kingsley said, "Is Teddy getting excited for Hogwarts? Only a couple months off now."
"My son is not mayhem!" She cried, "But yes, he is excited about it. He can't wait to get started. Keeps bugging Remus to see if he has his book list ready. Remus finally gave him some "advanced reading" to keep him quiet. He is really excited about his new owl. He is sending Puck out all the time to some Potter or Weasley or another. I finally told him he had to give the poor bird a rest, or he would start feeling sick. I think he feels very grown up to have an owl of his own. Hopefully his new enthusiasm for letter-writing will extend to his mum once he goes off."
"How do you feel about him going off to school without you?" Kingsley urged.
"I'm happy for him, but I am going to miss him. It's been just the two of us for so long. I'm glad Remus will be there with him."
"Really?"
"Yes, really," she said shortly, "Teddy is just getting to know his dad, and he will be able to continue with that. Now, don't you have a speech to be getting ready for, Minister?"
Kingsley rolled his eyes a bit at her, but turned his focus back to the stage. A polite smattering of applause followed his introduction. He turned to Tonks and smiled tightly. "To battle," he muttered. Like a switch was turned behind his eyes, both the playful humor from bantering with Tonks and the weariness had passed across his face were replaced by a carefully arranged friendly, yet firm face that was his public mask. A sharp nod to Tonks, and he stepping on stage, his hand raised in salutation captured by a hundred flash bulbs. He took his place behind the podium, with Tonks blending into the background, keeping a vigilant watch.
Despite what Tonks and Kingsley may have wished, the event went down without so much as a mild disturbance. For her friend's sake, she was happy that he was generally well-liked and not in an excessive amount of danger, but a minor protest at the very least would have really livened up her afternoon. Teddy was spending the day with Remus, so she popped over to his cottage on the way home. It was dusk already, the shortening days heralding in autumn, and term time with it. She rapped on the door, and let herself in at Remus' call. He and Teddy were deeply enthralled in a game of chess, and Teddy barely lifted his head from the board. Remus smiled broadly at her and told her that the kettle was on before also turning his attention back to his knight, which was currently running full tilt at one of Teddy's pawns.
It all seemed to Tonks excessively, heartbreakingly domestic. This could have been their lives everyday, if only things had been different. There was no use dwelling over it though.
Knowing that Remus and Teddy would soon be done with their cups, she made a pot of tea rather than a mug just for herself. Remus sent her a look of gratitude, and then announced "checkmate."
Tonks laughed at Teddy's sour expression. "It seems like it was quite a match," she chuckled.
"He has been trying to beat me all day," Remus laughed.
"And he didn't even let me win once!" Teddy complained.
"You will beat me eventually after you get some practice, and when you do you will know you won fair and square. Isn't that better?"
"I guess," Teddy grumbled, "But Mum lets me win!"
"No I don't sweetie," she protested.
"Then why can I beat you but not Dad? You're both adults."
"That's because your mother is rubbish at Wizards' chess," Remus chuckled.
She smacked him on the arm playfully. "I will have you know, my chess skills are perfectly average."
"She doesn't like following the rules," Teddy whispered.
"Don't I know it," Remus laughed.
"I don't like limitations," Tonks corrected, "There is simply no reason a queen can move farther than a knight riding a horse. Don't even get me started on the castle."
"It's called a rook, Mum."
"Call it what you will, castles don't run about a battle field."
"Terminology aside," Remus laughed, "How was getting back to fieldwork?"
"A nice change of pace, I suppose," Tonks yawned, "I won't be able to do it very often, but it felt like the first time I was doing the job I signed up for in a long time. Since the war, maybe."
Remus' expression tightened minutely, no doubt thinking of the last time she fought and how close she came to dying. He contemplated begging her to never risk it again, but knew he couldn't. He had no right to, and wouldn't be able to bring himself to even if he did. "I'm glad you enjoyed it," he replied instead.
"What did the two of you do today, besides play chess?"
Teddy shrugged. "We went for a hike this morning. Dad showed me some bowtruckles living in a fallen tree. He said that in Hogwarts there is a whole class just on magical creatures! Do you think I could take that one?"
"Not until your third year," Remus reminded him.
"Why can't I take it sooner?" he complained.
"Spoken like your Aunt Hermione." Tonks checked her watch. "It is getting late. Why don't you get your things together and give you dad some peace?" Teddy grumbled, but stomped off outside to gather up his "field notebook" and gear he had been taking along with him on his walks with Remus.
"Won't you and Teddy stay for dinner?" Remus asked hopefully when Teddy had shut the front door.
Tonks hesitated. Teddy had read far too much into their last family dinner, but now that the boundaries of their relationship were more defined, perhaps it would be good for him. "Sure," she answered, and Remus's face broke into grin.
"Great! I mean, I'm glad. I'll just put the kettle on, then. No, don't get up! You've had a long day and you should rest. Make yourself at home and I'll bring you a cup of tea."
Tonks nodded and called Teddy from outside. "Come on kid, you need to go get cleaned up before dinner."
"We are staying here?" Teddy asked.
"Your father asked us to stay for dinner, but he might change his mind when he sees this mess!"
Teddy smiled brightly and then raced for the stairs, nearly knocking into his father and Tonks' cup of tea. Remus shook his head bemusedly. "That kid," he said softly, more wonder than exasperation. "Here is your tea. Dinner should be ready in thirty minutes or so."
"Thank you," she smiled in return, accepting the proffered cup. She settled into a squishy winged armchair and studied the room about her. This was the first time she had lingered in his house for longer than it took to collect Teddy. All the same, this sitting room was achingly familiar, because it screamed "Remus". Books were overflowing from several bookcases and stacked neatly on side tables. Despite this, it was meticulously clean, the only messy area being his desk pushed into a corner where journals on arithmacy and magical theory were spread out and annotated in Remus' precise script. A fire burned low and inviting in the hearth.
She scanned the titles on the table beside her, and selected a worn anthology of short stories that seemed to tickle something in her memory. She flipped through the pages, hoping to find a bookmark to indicate the story Remus had just finished. It would be a convenient conversation starter, if nothing else. A small square of paper fell out from between the pages, but she caught the place where it had been marking with her finger. She stooped down to pick it up, and saw that it was a photograph. Tonks stifled a gasp. Her eyes flicked guiltily to the kitchen where Remus was cooking over the hob, oblivious to her discovery. She recognized the picture. It was taken shortly after she and Remus married, probably on a rare calm morning. She could not remember the day in particular, but the moment was familiar. It was rare that they had time to linger over tea in the morning, wrapped in the warm glow that came with being newlyweds. The way he would look at her then, with an awestruck, somewhat bewildered expression, took her breath away. He looked as if he had just been told he had won the lottery and simultaneously been elected Minister of Magic. She wondered if the Remus holding the camera back then, gazing at her like she was his whole world, knew he would walk out on her and their unborn son just a few weeks later. Maybe that was what prompted him to take the picture, capture the moment for future loneliness. It made her heart clench to think that he may have had one foot out of the door even then. Even worse was the falling feeling when she would catch him looking at her like that again now. She recognized it as the odd fluttery feeling of someone much younger and far more naive.
"Dora?" Remus calling her name snapped her out of her reverie. She turned the book page quickly, hiding what she had seen from him. She met his eyes unblinkingly. "Dinner is ready," he finished, eyes on the book in her hands, but he didn't comment on it as Teddy's footfalls were sounding heavily on the stairs. She and Remus both adopted a sort of benign mask to face Teddy, the son they had created together.
The easy domesticity of earlier in the evening was lost. The dinner conversation was so stilted even Teddy noticed it at times, though he was pleased to fill the silence with his chatter. Puck cooed from his perch by the window sill, pestering Gwynn every so often with a peck of his beak and flap of his wings. Teddy's eyes lit up as if he had just recalled a wonderful story.
"Mum!" He said, "You will never guess what Puck did today!"
Remus smiled fondly, but gave nothing away when she looked to him.
"He brought me a mouse! He was almost too big for Puck to carry by himself, but he did it! Dad says that means he likes me and wants to be friends."
From there his fast stream of words became almost unintelligible, but from what Tonks gathered, the poor creature was not quite as dead as Puck thought it was (and not nearly as dead as Remus had wished it to be) and it had escaped to hide himself under the bookcase. The mouse was persuaded to move from his owl-free hiding place with much cajoling and bribes of crumbs, and a little magic on Remus' part.
"It was so cute! I asked Dad if I could keep him..." Here Tonks looked frantically at Remus, who shook his head in innocence, "But he said that he needed to go home.?
The by now quite traumatized mouse had been released into the wild to rejoin his family, who were certainly relieved to see their loved one that they were surely certain was lost to them.
"That sounds quite eventful!" Tonks exclaimed, "I'm surprised you weren't bursting to tell that story as soon as I came in!"
"I was saving it!" Teddy laughed. His happiness was contagious, and helped dissipate the remaining awkwardness between his parents. Tonks snorted with laughter, and soaked in the sound of Teddy's giggles and Remus' quiet chuckle. Teddy's face glowed with pride at having restored his Mum and Dad to their usual easy friendship. Tonks pushed the picture out of her mind to perhaps revisit later, when she could be alone with her thoughts. For now, she was content to savor this moment.
A little bit of fluff because I need some fluff in my life! Thanks for reading and please review!