Kuroko no Basket fused with The Magic School Bus. Yeah, that's right. I went there. No pairings here.

The Magic School Bus

"Our game is in half an hour!" Momoi warns, freaking out and despairing in her seat as they get attacked by another white blood cell. "Why is my life so insane? Other girls wouldn't be attacked by antibodies. They'd go on dates with boys. Boys like Tetsu-kun."

"There, there, Momoi-san," Akashi says, pausing in his chess game with Ms. Frizzle's iguana, Liz. "As soon as we finish healing Midorima-kuns torn ligament we'll head back immediately. The other first string players can hold them off until we get there. Might be more interesting that way."

"Yeah. Chill Satsuki," Aomine comments from where he's pulling on a scuba diving suit.

"Wait a second Aomine, where do you think you're going?" shrieks Momoi.

"Me?" he cocks a brow at her. "I'm going out there to where Ryou, Tetsu, and Atsu are. Anyways Akashi, shouldn't you be tracking down the Frizz? Didn't she go missing when we passed through Tarou's pancreas?"

"Don't worry about it Daiki. If Liz isn't worried about her, none of us have to be. Besides, if she's willing to take us into Midorima's body to heal his injury, I'm sure she can take care of herself." Akashi moves his bishop with flourish. "Checkmate."

Liz pouts in disappointment before starting to clear all the pieces.

"Life has pleasantly gotten more interesting since we've gotten a new basketball coach," says Akashi. "Don't you think so Momoi?"

Momoi groans into her hands. "I could have gone my entire life without seeing Midorin's gonads, thank you very much for getting us lost there Akashi. Wahhh, I'm not pure for Tetsu-kun any longer."

"Oh shit!" Aomine moves like a man on a mission, which he is, darting across the morphed bus and towards the exit with inhuman speed.

"Hmmm?" wonders Akashi, eyes lighting up at the potential chaos.

Static breaks into the silence of Aomine's leaving, Murasakibara's voice coming in through the speakers from outside, "We lost Kuro-chin," he says, Kise's despaired wails being heard in the background.

"Tetsu-kun!"cries Momoi.

"Ryou, you idiot!" Aomine's voice breaks into the static. "How could you lose Tetsu. I'm gonna kill someone if we don't get him back soon!"

"He just got carried away by Midorimacchi's antibodies!" Kise wails.

"Tarou, if your anti-whatever-body-crap destroy Tetsu, you're a dead man," Aomine vows, screaming it into the folds of Midorima's deltoid muscle.

"Life really is much more fun now," Akashi chuckles as chaos ensues around him. "Liz, care for another game?"

~fin