This is a random short (NO- not you Ed!) story I made out of boredom and because I would die laughing if this ever happened in the manga or anime. Disclaimer: I do not own FullMetal Alchemist or FMA Brotherhood. Enjoy~

*BREAK*

It was a peaceful day in Amestris. The sun shone high in the sky and its rays of warmth spread over miles of land. Fluffy white clouds moved at snail's pace across the sky in no hurry to disappear into the distance. Flowers bloomed and the streets of Central buzzed with various activities. Everyone seemed to be enjoying the pleasant weather. Except of course, for a certain State Alchemist.

Edward Elric, the FullMetal Alchemist, and his brother Alphonse were back in Central after another fake lead on the Philosopher's Stone. It had been a bust when they had figured out the guy who had supposedly created a stone was just flaunting around a rock painted red. One of the most pathetic cases yet, which is why Ed beat the crap out of the guy that had caused him to waste his time. He wanted his brother's body and his own arm and leg back, not a paint covered rock!

Still, Ed was required to write a report (which was barely legible since he didn't give a care about explaining another false lead) to Colonel Mustang. But the womanizer was out on a date, much to his and Hawkeye's annoyance. Ed had wanted to transmute his desk into thousands of toothpicks just because he wasn't there, but Havoc had stopped him, while Hawkeye asked them if they could walk around and take Black Hayate for exercise. Al had agreed happily while Ed sighed humored his brother.

"Al, it's too damn hot to be walking around any longer. Why can't we go back to the dorms now?" Ed complained, holding the leash to the dog as he pranced merrily ahead of him, and rubbing the tender flesh of his shoulder near the automail port. The heat was warming up his arm and making it uncomfortable.

"Brother," Al said, "we've barely been walking for five minutes. Let's take him to the park and you can find a shaded tree and sit under there." His quiet echoing voice could barely be recognized over the crowd of loudly conversing people they were passing, but Ed still heard.

"Fine, but if he chases a squirrel of something and runs off don't whining to me about—" Ed abruptly cut himself off with a growl of rage. There, strolling down a side walk across the street, was the Flame Alchemist himself. He chatted with his date and wore casual clothes, smirking constantly and laughing occasionally. It seemed to the Elric brothers that he was enjoying himself.

"Brother, are we going to…" Al trailed off when he saw his brother's face split into a wide grin. He had this look in his eye Al knew well.

Ed shoved Black Hayate's leash into Al's leather gloved hand. "Hold him for a bit, this will only take a minute." Then he whispered under his breath. "Hehehe Colonel Sparky you are in for it…"

"Ed, what are you going to do?"

"Nothing!"

"Brother!" Al sweat-dropped, his brother had already run off.

Roy flirted with his young date and he was having a great time. This had been yet another woman Havoc had tried to hide from him, but failed.

"Oh Roy," she giggled. "You're so funny! And handsome, talented, not to mention have a great career going, and have no kids! You're perfect~"

He chuckled, but accepted the compliment. "Well thank you young miss, that's very—"

"OH MY GOSH! DADDY!" Seemingly coming out of nowhere, a blond boy in a bright red coat practically glomped Roy. His flesh and metal arm squeezed him as he dug his head into the man's chest before looking up at him with fake innocence. "Dad I missed you so much! I haven't seen you since I left from my last mission where I was almost beaten to death by a gang that held me hostage!" The last part was a lie, this time at least, but the woman looked mortified.

"You let your son engage in such dangerous activities? Wait, you have a son? You said you didn't have kids!"

Ed flashed a possessive look at his 'father' that made the woman take a step back. "Duhh, of course he's my dad! If he wasn't I wouldn't be hugging him and calling him that."

Roy tried to pry the boy off of him and explain the truth, but Ed wouldn't budge. "No no, you have it all wrong! This is the child prodigy, the Full—"

"DAD!" Ed shouted obnoxiously, pouting and sticking his lower lip out pitifully. "Why won't you say hi to me? I've missed you so much! Hey, can we get ice-cream?"

The woman gave her never-to-be-again-date a glare and walked away briskly. Roy's jaw dropped and from afar Al face-palmed.

Furious, Roy looked at the short alchemist and growled at him. "FullMetal, what did you think you were doing? I will have you court marshaled!"

Ed simply smiled at him. "Good luck with that Mustang. Al's waiting for me so I gotta go. Love ya dad! See ya around~" And with a wave he made his way back to his little brother as Roy gaped at him.

"Brother… why?" Al questioned as he approached.

"Oh come on, I just embarrassed him a bit and made his date leave."

"Then why did he look as if you grew wings right before you left?"

Ed laughed. "Oh I just freaked him a bit."

"Will you guys ever get along?"

"Pfft, the day Havoc gets a steady girlfriend."

… poor Havoc lol