My Halo: Reach/Mass Effect 2 cross-over

Stats:

Noble 6: Female, 6'8" (The rest is in story [well, this is too, but I digress])

Alexander Shepard: Male, 5'11", generic male Shepard face, Paragon, Colonist, War Hero, Soldier

(God this is the laziest bio I've ever seen…I'm so proud of myself)

At any rate, here is the rewrite I've been promising….mostly because I know the first few chapters (who am I kidding, all of the chapters) suck.

Disclaimer: Bungie owns Halo…or is it 343 industries now…whatever, and Bioware owns Mass Effect. Any resemblances to actual people or events are purely coincidental.

(Any discrepancies between this and canon is because I did little to no research, please, for the love of god, correct me where I'm wrong)

Noble Six's feelings towards the alien bastards trying to kill her, otherwise known as the Covenant, could be summed up into three words: absolutely fucking despise. Any normal person would have been perfectly happy with giving his or her life to let the last hope of mankind slip away unharmed. A really angry person would have been happy with fighting off wave after wave of Covenant forces as they surrounded his or her position. But no, it took a crazy-as-shit pissed off mother of a person to fight those waves to their very end and then beat the living hell out of the last few elites with his or her bare hands. Noble Six belonged to the third group. That's what happens when you kill off every member of a SPARTAN's squad, but the Covenant just doesn't seem to learn.

She took her hands off the throat of the newly-dead Elite, the bastard had tried to stab her when she was down, and took a look around. The world was not made of glass and a helluva lot of dead covenant surrounded her. Besides the whole "everyone you've ever loved is gone" deal, she was having a great time. However, she felt strangely naked without her helmet on, why had she taken it off again? She spotted it next to a few jackals with holes in places where holes were not meant to be, namely faces, torsos, and other pieces of the anatomy where a bullet just really ruins your day. Glancing about for hostiles one last time and finding none, she jogged over to it, the sand crunching beneath her armored feet, and rolled a dead jackal away with her foot before leaning over to grab it. As she reached down to grab her helmet, she saw all the spider web of cracks down its polarized faceplate and remembered why she had taken it off in the first place, fuckin' Coveys. Still, she picked it up, it was a personal thing, and began walking north, the helmet under her arm. She had no place to go. The directions to CASTLE base had been on the helmet, and that couldn't help her unless she found a computer that wasn't fried by all the radiation and EMP's thrown around the planet over the last few weeks, which was so fucking improbable it might as well be impossible. In such a situation, however, there was one directive left for her to follow:

Kill as many alien bastards as possible.

She sighed and looked around for a target, a nice, big, juicy target…sorta like that Covenant cruiser just sitting out in the middle of nothingness for no reason…yeah, just like that cruiser. Doing a quick three-sixty, it looked like the cruiser was her best chance at a fulfilling end of a murder filled day, a huge-ass bang. She only paused once to pick up a plasma rifle that one of the elites had been so kind as to not fire before she stabbed him in the eye…repetitively. She wasn't the "Hyper Lethal Vector" for nothing

Her stores now as full as she cared to make them, she set off to bust some heads…and maybe blow up a ship…or both.

Shepard was having a good day comparatively. That is not, of course, saying much. Of course, compared to a couple of weeks ago, when he had been dead, it was hard to complain. Sure, he had rescued Tali from Haestrom and he had been reinstated as a Spectre, but everything else had been absolute bloody hell. Joker wouldn't stop whining about EDI, Garrus always had to do some "calibrations" or whatever it was that Turians called their special alone time, Mordin would not SHUT THE HELL UP, Jack and Miranda would have killed each other by now if he hadn't stepped in on their catfight, a certain super-thief was taking minor objects from crew members for fun, and a psychotic Krogan lived next to the ship's engines. He really wanted to just scream, to punch something, to break one of Joker's legs, anything! But noooooo, he was the calm cool and collected Commander Shepard, savior of the Citadel and the council. He had stood against the Skyllian Blitz and not even broken a drop of sweat. He had hunted down the rouge Spectre Saren and stopped him from destroying all the races of the galaxy. Hell, he had even made hot alien love to Liara. He could do anything.

The last accomplishment gave him pause. He sighed at lost love and rolled off the bed in his quarters. He washed off his face and composed himself before he stepped onto the elevator and went down to CIC. After a brief wait and a ping, the door opened. As he was stepping off the elevator he heard over the intercom, "Hey, Shepard, you're gonna want to see this…"

"Joker, this better be good," he responded, lifting an eyebrow (more for the sake of the motion itself rather than to actually send a message to Joker).

"Oh, this is beyond good, this looks like we could have another giant baby Krogan…in space!"

"Joker..."

"No! I'm serious! What else would you store in a space tube? Huh? Doughnuts? ... Mmmmmmm doughnuts"

Shepard ignored the comment and, after sighing in exasperation, walked up to the bridge. His brittle-boned pilot was practically giddy.

"Look at the sensors, Commander. Some crazy-ass alien alloy, a glass-ish facing, glowing blue lines…mildly creepy, and, whatever is in it, has got a heartbeat!" His pilot was going to break a rib at this rate. However…it was interesting. There was no reason for anything to just be floating in the space around Noveria. Hell, he hadn't expected anything at least. He had just wanted to stare at the planet from space and strip mine the bloody place while rubbing his hands together and whispering about "Revenge at last", however, he was Commander Shepard, and nothing ever came easily.

"Bring it in Joker, and hope we don't have another crazy," Shepard practically prayed, not that it would do him much good; gods don't listen to dead men, and what he was bring on board couldn't have been further from his hopes.

EDI piped up, "Commander Shepard, the life signatures on the pod match no known databases, though some of the symbols used resemble ancient human writings."

Shepard looked over at the AI, her hologram lighting the cockpit, "How ancient are we talking here?"

This time Joker cut in, "Pre-Egyptian at least, and probably before the major Tigris and Euphrates civilizations as well, practically older than dirt."

Shepard cursed, "Well, let's hope this isn't going to be another massive archaeological discovery, Ilos was enough for me," Shepard paused for a moment before shrugging and continued, "Bring it aboard EDI, I'll go down and meet our new…guest."

Shepard asked Miranda to help him greet whatever is was he was bringing aboard. In hindsight, Jacob or Tali would have been better choices.

She glanced at him angrily, "Shepard, we have enough variables to deal with as it is, why in the hell makes you think that this… 'discovery' will be anything positive?"

He sighed, thinking for a moment, before he responded, "I would have thought that saving your sister might make you trust my decisions more, Miranda." Who cares if it made him look like a dick? Considering what exactly on Illium the last time the Normandy had stopped there, she deserved it.

Meanwhile at Miranda, if looks could kill, Shepard had just cost Cerberus another several billion to rebuild him. She continued, "You lucked out with the Krogan, in that he is bloodthirsty and loyal, there is nothing to say that whatever we find in this pod will have redeeming qualities."

Shepard sighed as the elevator's doors opened and they walked across the bay towards the metal construct, blue lines glowing across its frame. "There are also no guarantees that whatever we find in this will be a detriment to the team." he offered, hopefully.

Miranda sighed, "I'm not going to stop you Shepard, but please think of the possible consequences first."

The pair stopped in front of the pod, the blue light emitting from in between the white plates of the unit flickering softly as a holographic panel opened in the air in front of Shepard.

Surprised, Shepard reached to manipulate the panel, but was confused when waving his hand over the symbols didn't do anything. Miranda just sighed and tried to look through the frosted glass that hid the contents of the pod.

Finally, Shepard grew frustrated and tried to just punch the hologram, but was immensely surprised when his fist met a solid surface. Shepard muttered, "Shit, hardlight?" before looking back at the panel and, more specifically, the flashing symbol that he had obviously hit.

Miranda jumped back when steam erupted from the pod and, with a deep clunk, the bottom of the pod released itself.

After a short wait, EDI broke in, "Commander Shepard, neural activity of the subject has spiked. It is in pain."

Shepard cursed; he had hoped that whatever he had hit wouldn't kill the creature, but, considering it was obviously a cryo-stasis type of pod, that was highly unlikely. If whatever it was didn't have time to thaw out properly before it was let out…he could only hope that whatever it was, it could withstand the kind of pain it was going through long enough for him to apologies.

Finally, the hissing of steam being released ended and the facing rose up and out, revealing the contents of the pod.

Miranda could only manage, "My God."

Inside, eyes open and with small crystals of ice around its body, was an armored giant. Plates of gunmetal grey on a black under-suit shifted and the giant reached out and grabbed the edges of the container before pulling itself out and landing with a thud onto the deck, buckling it slightly. It rolled its shoulders and freed up its other joints before reaching back into the tube and grabbing a helmet with a shattered faceplate. As it turned back around, Shepard realized that he hadn't even looked at the monster's face. Slowly, he let his eyes scan up the creature.

From its heavy boots to the hip poach that looked to contain was that a kukri? He let his eyes go up to its torso and the multitude of pouches strapped across its abdomen. Finally, his eyes reached its face.

It had short red hair, only two and a half centimeters tops, and pale blue eyes. Its skin was practically snow white and it...was human!

It let its eyes roam the room for a moment before Shepard found himself pinned by its gaze. It moved to speak.

"Noble Six, Lieutenant, SPARTAN B312."

Its voice was markedly feminine, and now that he realized it, the suit had...curves…in what some may call "all the right places". Shepard quickly recovered himself as he heard Miranda make a sound of disapproval. He sighed and looked back up at its...no, at her, face, before replying, "I'm Commander Alexander Shepard, Captain of the Normandy SR2, the vessel we are currently on."

She snapped a quick salute before Shepard waved it away, as quickly as possible. He thought, She's military, no doubt about that, and looked her up and down one more time, taking in all he could of the, admittedly attractive (in the way that a snake it [look but don't touch]) super-soldier (for what else could she be). He finally collected himself and looked back up into her face before asking, "So...any idea how you ended up in a cryo pod in the middle of nowhere?"

Yaaaaaay! Rewrite done! How you guys feel 'bout the new shit? Is it shinier than the previous turd? I must know! Should I keep up the re-write? Do you like the new additions? Am I the only one who thinks hardlight is possibly the coolest shit ever? R & R please!