This spawned from the lovely discordandrhythm (on Tumblr)'s idea of Chef!Sebastian, and it turned into a 3500+ word fic of me basically talking about food I would really like to eat right now.

Again, thank you so much to discordandrhythm for the perfect headcannon, and also for the AMAZING stories she writes (seriously, go read all of them. I am OBSESSED).

It had all started one day when Sebastian had been bored out of his mind, unwilling to leave the house, yet still moaning about how absolutely bored he was, and how he had nothing to do, all while sitting at the counter of his kitchen watching his mother mix ingredients together to make a banana and walnut cake.

"Honey, if you're so bored, why not just go out?" His mother replied, taking out a second bowl and more ingredients to start on the second cake.

"I obviously don't feel like it," Sebastian sneered, moving to swipe a finger in the first bowl his mother had made, licking it. "Holy shit, that is amazing."

"Language," He heard her say sternly, cracking an egg into the second bowl. "If you like it so much, why don't you help me?"

"Me? Cook?" Sebastian scoffed, sitting back on the chair. "Do you really think I'd be good at it?"

"You won't know unless you try," his mother said, holding out an egg to him. He took it from her carefully, watching her move the bowl towards him.

Sebastian looked back at the egg, and then slowly hit it against the side of the bowl, holding the two sides of the eggs apart, and watched the insides of it plop onto the smashed bananas, baking powder, baking soda, and sugar already in it. Looking up, he saw his mother smile at him.

"That was great," She said with a smile. She thrust a beater into his arms. "Now mix."

Sebastian laughed, and turned on the machine, and for the next few minutes mixed the cake's batter. It was a matter of minutes between then and when his mother put the cake in the oven. He stood up to look at it through the window on the door of the oven, slinging an arm around his mothers waist, laughing again when he hears his mother tell him how proud she is, and how he could be a great cook if he tried.

Since he had cracked his first egg, Sebastian now, after two years, knew that he probably had more knowledge in the art of baking than almost all the pastry chefs in Lima, Ohio. Sebastian knew how to do everything, from a simple banana walnut cake, to croissants, filled with chocolate or homemade jam, baked Alaska, and crème brulees, all in record time. It had become almost an obsession, with Sebastian scouring recipe books and the internet for the most difficult recipes, and then putting his own spin on them, all in a matter of hours.

Sebastian made mouth-watering desserts every day, and often had nothing to do with them; after all, his mother could only eat so much, and his brother was more than often unwilling to eat more than one piece a day, stating that he couldn't let anything ruin his physique, no matter how delicious. Sebastian himself, could never eat his own desserts, because he always found some fault with them, resulting in baking an entirely new batch.

His mother, growing tired of housing desserts in her fridge and pantry, with nothing to do with them, began talking to the lady who owned the Lima Bean, an old friend of hers who attended the same parties she did. Two discussions later, and one meeting in which Sebastian blushed every time she told him what a wonderful baker he was, Sebastian was hired to provide desserts on the weekends. Sebastian was thrilled, but horrified at the thought of anyone ever finding out, so he struck up a deal- he was willing to make as many desserts as the café wanted, as long as nobody found out who was making them. The deal was agreed to, and starting Friday, Sebastian would become the new pastry chef.

It was that Friday that changed Sebastian's life, in the way that only boys his age could appreciate.

Sebastian sat tapping his foot at a corner table in the Lima Bean, slightly anxious as he watched customers walk into the café. It was the first day the bakery would be debuting the new desserts, and although Sebastian knew he was good, he couldn't help but feel nervous, wondering if people really would enjoy his desserts the way his family did. Raising his coffee cup to his lips, he watched people move towards the dessert counter, and grinned when he heard a couple of women exclaim over the new desserts. He saw them pick out a strawberry pretzel square and a peach crumb bar each, and pay for them, taking them towards a table just a few feet away from him. Sebastian could still remember working on the desserts the previous night, flour coating his clothes, and batter on his neck and cheeks, the oven on and the music playing softly in the background.

Two hours later, Sebastian was anything but anxious. He sat back in his chair, grinning every time he heard another person moan after taking a bite of their piece of dessert. He made sure to hide his face behind his hand, whenever someone would look over at him to make sure they couldn't see the smile that was threatening to take over his entire face. Sebastian had seen women squeal over desserts, children cry and tug on their mother's skirts asking for more, and men dropping any and all manly facades they had going on the second they took a bite of whatever they'd decided to have. Every piece of cheesecake was gone, and every cup of chocolate pudding had been finished. If it continued at this rate, the customers that came by in a few hours wouldn't get any dessert at all.

Just as Sebastian got up to get another cup of coffee, he saw the door swing open, and watched as Kurt Hummel made his way through the tables towards the counter. Standing in line behind him, Sebastian grinned when Kurt noticed the new desserts. "These are new, aren't they?" He asked the barista, his eyes lighting up. "They look wonderful."

"They do, don't they?" The barista said, winking when she sees Sebastian behind Kurt. Sebastian holds up a finger to his mouth, making sure she doesn't say anything, before hearing Kurt wonder aloud what he should get.

"I recommend a piece of Boston crème pie, and maybe a salted peanut chew," Sebastian said casually into Kurt's ear. Kurt whipped around suddenly, eyeing the smirk Sebastian was giving him.

"Well hello, meerkat," He said with a tightlipped smile. Although things had gotten better after Regionals, and even though Kurt was no longer dating Blaine, Kurt couldn't bring himself to be completely nice to Sebastian. "I'd rather not trust your taste in desserts."

"You should," The barista said before she can stop herself, and then shuffles off quickly.

"What did she mean by that?" Kurt wondered aloud.

"No idea," Sebastian said hurriedly. "Just get some pie, Hummel."

Kurt sighed, before pointing out a piece of pie to the barista. Sebastian smiled as he watched Kurt pay, and walked behind him to a seat on the other side of the café.

"What, so you're going to watch me eat it too?" Kurt asked with disbelief, settling down into his chair.

"I'd rather not look at you for too long, I might get nightmares," Sebastian said with a practiced nonchalance, eyeing Kurt

"Knew that was coming," Kurt muttered, before picking up a spoon to cut into the pie, watching the cream ooze out. Bringing the spoon up to his mouth, he closed his eyes once he began chewing and let out an almost pornographic moan. Sebastian felt heat coil at the bottom of his stomach at the noise, before shaking his head to get the sound of his head. He watched Kurt swipe at the cream that had made its way out of the pie, bringing his finger to his mouth and sucking it clean, and Sebastian once again tried very hard to make sure the image wasn't burnt into his head.

"This is the best pie I have ever tasted in my entire life," Kurt said with a mouthful of food. "Who on Earth made this, and was smart enough to start providing the Lima Bean with dessert that didn't taste a century old?"

"No idea," Sebastian said with a grin. He watched Kurt eat the rest of the pie, and bit down on his lip every time Kurt makes another noise, or praised the cook again.

Yeah, Sebastian could definitely get used to this.

The next time Sebastian saw Kurt Hummel come in was the weekend after his debut. Sebastian had developed a habit of hanging around the Lima Bean, bringing in homework or a laptop to read or watch movies on, listening to what everyone had to say about his desserts. His ego grew with every praise, and he couldn't remember how he'd ever even lived without hearing people compliment his desserts.

He had sidled up behind Kurt just like last time, telling him to try a homemade pop tart. Kurt made an obligatory 'annoyed' face, but still bought two, one strawberry and one blueberry, and wasn't surprised when he saw Sebastian sit across from him. Biting into a pop tart, Kurt had the same reaction as last time, his eyes closing every time he ate a bite, referring to the dessert as a 'piece of heaven'. Sebastian laughed, and felt butterflies in his stomach every time Kurt said something about the dessert. All thoughts of his façade gone, Kurt held up the pop tart to Sebastian, asking him if he wanted to try some. Sebastian made a face, but after Kurt's insistence, he decided to try some. With the aim of annoying Kurt, Sebastian moved forward and took a bite of the pop tart while Kurt was still holding it, letting his lips brush against Kurt's fingers. Looking up, he saw Kurt's eyes flutter close as his mouth touched them, before he opened them again and cleared his throat, pulling his hand away. Sebastian smirked, before he began chewing.

"The amount of filling and pastry is disproportionate and the jam could use some more cinnamon," Sebastian murmured out of habit.

"How would you know?" Kurt scoffed, taking another bite. "You wouldn't know a thing about desserts."

"I know what a good one tastes like," Sebastian shot back.

"Oh please," Kurt said with a wave of his hand. "I don't expect someone like you to appreciate the art of pastry making."

"I guess you don't know me very well then, do you?" Sebastian said with a smirk, before leaving the table.

That was hint number one.

The next few times Sebastian and Kurt sat the coffee shop slowly turned their relationship into one of easy friendship. Kurt had finally let go of any grudges and Sebastian was making a valiant effort to keep insults to a minimum.

That effort, of course, didn't not result in much change.

"I'm going to gain a hundred pounds if I keep doing this," Kurt groaned, all the while eating another bite of a chocolate éclair.

"Yeah, I see how torn up over all of this you are," came Sebastian's sarcastic reply as he swipes the last bite of éclair, ignoring Kurt's protests.

"You're going to go get me another one," Kurt said insistently, ignoring everything Sebastian had said.

Sebastian pretended to groan, before getting up and walking towards the dessert counter.

"Gonna eat one of your own desserts, Sebastian?" the barista whispered, eyeing him. "That's unlike you."

"It's for Kurt, actually," He said.

"Oh, so we're onto first name basis AND buying desserts for each other?" She said with a sly grin. "Impressive."

Sebastian hushed her with a grin, before walking back towards Kurt and putting the plate down in front of him.

"This isn't an éclair," Kurt said, eyeing the dessert.

"No, it isn't," Sebastian agreed with a nod of his head. "It's called a Grasshopper Mint Chocolate Bark."

"How do you know?" Kurt said, picking up a piece and biting it.

"I know things," Sebastian says.

Hint number two.

Kurt let out a laugh, eyeing Sebastian before throwing a napkin at him. "I'm sure you know plenty of things, all decidedly less productive, and more catered towards making yourself happy."

"If that was true, what would I be doing sitting here?" He asked with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

"I make you oh so very happy, of course," Kurt said with a cheesy smile.

Sebastian laughed, and ignored the feeling in his stomach that told him yes, he really did make him happy.

Hints three, four and five had been complete accidents, and Sebastian didn't realize he'd made them until Kurt had recognized them.

It all started when Kurt plopped down on the chair across from him on a Friday afternoon, and took out a few papers.

"I've decided that I can no longer stand not to know who this baker is," Kurt said, organizing the papers. "So I'm going to find out."

"Do you really think that's a good idea, Kurt?" Sebastian asked, leaning over to look at what the papers said.

"Of course it is," Kurt replied. "Look around you, everyone loves the desserts. The woman deserves some recognition."

Sebastian, who had been looking around at all the people eating his desserts and crying over how good they were, turned around and stared at Kurt. "Who says it's a woman?"

"Well, I just assumed," Kurt stammered, looking back at Sebastian, confused at his sharp tone.

"Well, it's not," Sebastian said.

"How do you know?" Kurt asked him, still staring.

"I assumed," Sebastian said, before steering the conversation away from the gender of the baker.

Kurt told Sebastian about how he'd realized that the desserts are there early in the morning every weekend, which meant that the baker brought them in either very late at night, or very early in the morning. So Kurt had decided- he was going to stay at the Lima Bean until closing time, and show up when it opened, hoping to catch a glimpse of the baker. He had just finished his story when Sebastian realized he was going to be late for his make-up test.

"That doesn't sound like a good idea, Kurt," Sebastian said warily.

"Oh stuff it, it's a wonderful idea," Kurt said, rolling his eyes.

Sebastian came back to the café at ten pm, just half an hour before it was about to close. He walked over to where he saw Kurt sitting, reading a paperback copy of the Great Gatsby.

"I don't think Tom Buchanan or Nick Carraway are going to tell you who the baker is," Sebastian teased, lightly pushing Kurt to make room for him to lie down on the bench next to him, his head in Kurt's lap.

"Tired?" Kurt asked him, looking down at Sebastian's head in his lap, a little shocked.

"You don't even know," Sebastian said, rubbing his forehead. "I've had classes all day, and then I had to take the makeup test as well, amongst other things."

Kurt let his hand trail across Sebastian's hair, weaving his fingers through the strands, and smiled when he felt Sebastian whimper at how good it felt. Kurt continued to move his hand, trailing his eyes to where Sebastian moved to lie with his feet placed on the bench and knees bent upward, and stared at the patch of white flour on Sebastian's jeans.

"Sebastian, why do you have flour on your jeans?" Kurt asked, puzzled.

"Oh," Sebastian said, sitting up quickly and rubbing away the mark. "Um, my mom was cooking."

"And that has to do with the mark on your jeans how?" Kurt asked.

"I kept bothering her in the kitchen, and I must've not realized I was getting flour on myself," Sebastian lied.

"Alright," Kurt said, uncertainly.

Sebastian started talking about his test on marketing, but could feel Kurt staring at him the entire time, and he really didn't know how to feel about all of it. Did he want Kurt to know it was him? He kept telling himself no, but somewhere inside, he wanted Kurt to know that he was praising him, that he was the one who made Kurt happy every weekend.

And with that realization also came the realization of what those feelings in his stomach he'd recently developed whenever he saw Kurt meant.

The next morning, Sebastian was able to finish setting up the desserts just before Shannon, the barista, had changed the sign on the front door from closed to open. Taking a seat far away from the counter, Sebastian tried to look inconspicuous when he saw Kurt walk in five minutes later.

"Dammit, they opened before I got here," Kurt said, sighing as he walked over to Sebastian. Before he sat down, he looked back up at Sebastian. "What on Earth are you doing here this early anyway?"

"I thought I'd keep you company," Sebastian said, having practiced his line before Kurt had come in.

"Uh huh," Kurt said eyeing him.

"What, am I not allowed to keep you company?" Sebastian asked innocently.

"You are." Kurt said simply.

"I even got you an orange berry muffin," Sebastian said.

Kurt grinned down at the muffin, picking it up and quickly taking a bite.

"Ugh, perfect as usual," he said with his mouth full.

"Thanks, I worked extra hard on my hair this morning," Sebastian replied.

"I meant the cupcake," Kurt said, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah yeah, whatever."

"You know what would be even better? Scones. I've been craving them forever."

Sebastian made a mental note to go home and start on scones.

Kurt and Sebastian spent a few hours in the Lima Bean, talking and finishing up homework, before Kurt had to leave. Picking up his things, he quickly bent down and kissed Sebastian's cheek.

"What was that for?" Sebastian asked, shocked.

"The muffin," Kurt said simply, grinning, before he walked away.

Sebastian spent the next five minutes with his hand on his cheek, reveling in the insane amounts of emotions running though him.

The next morning, Sebastian left through the back door to make sure he didn't see Kurt, driving back home and trying to ignore the feeling of missing Kurt.

Ten minutes later, he heard his phone ping.

From: Kurt Hummel
(9:23 am)
It's been you all along.

Shit, Sebastian thought.

Sebastian had been in the kitchen for three hours before he heard the door bell ring. Wiping his hands on a dish towel, he walked to the door, swinging it open and staring at the face in front of him. He knew it hadn't been a good idea making scones the day after Kurt had asked for them.

Kurt stared back at him, and he looked angry. "Why. Didn't. You. Tell. Me." Kurt said in between light shoves directed towards Sebastian's chest. "You watched me obsess over this for two months, and said nothing?"

"Hey, I didn't know if I wanted anyone to know!" Sebastian said, holding his hands up. "Baking doesn't exactly go with my personality."

"You suck, you suck, you suck," Kurt said simply, shoving him one last time.

"Forgiven?" Sebastian said a few moments later.

Kurt sighed. "As long as you give me some of whatever I can smell right now."

Sebastian grinned. "Of course." He held out a hand to Kurt, who grabbed it as they walked towards the kitchen.

As Sebastian moved to check the oven, Kurt looked around. "So, now that I know it's you, you're going to tell me how to fix my blueberry pancakes, right? Because for some reason, they always come out lumpy, and I really need help with that. Otherwise, we all know who the superior cook here is."

Sebastian looked back at him from where he was mixing ingredients in a bowl. "Says the man who spent the last two months moaning over how good my desserts are." He turned around, and gasped when he felt hands encircling his waist.

"What can I say," Kurt whispered in his ear seductively. "I have a thing for bakers and their desserts."

Sebastian whimpered, before putting down the spoon. He felt Kurt move one arm to swipe a finger into the bowl, before moving it to his mouth, sucking it clean. Turning around, Sebastian pulled Kurt closer by the waist, his hands on each of his hips. "Good?" He murmured, watching Kurt lick his finger.

"Amazing," Kurt whispers.

"I haven't tasted it yet," Sebastian lied.

"Why don't you, then?" Kurt said.

"I think I will," Sebastian said before capturing Kurt's lips, grinning into the kiss when he feels Kurt gasp and move his hands to his hair, tugging. Sebastian licks into Kurt's mouth, tasting the batter in his mouth before tugging the other boy's bottom lip lightly, making him moan.

"You taste good," Kurt said, breathing heavily as they part.

"Perks of having a baker as a boyfriend."

"Boyfriend, huh?" Kurt said, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, I mean, um-" Sebastian stammered.

Kurt shut him up with another quick kiss. "Boyfriend," He nods.

Sebastian moved in to kiss him again, but before he does, he hears the oven beeping.

"Shit," he said, running towards it and throwing the door open, burning his fingers as he takes out the tray and practically throws it on to the counter, before slipping on spilled batter.

Sebastian looks up from the ground at Kurt, who wheezes from laughter, falling to the floor himself, his head on Sebastian's chest, shaking.

Sebastian started to laugh too, placing a hand on Kurt.

The rest of the day was spent sampling all of Sebastian's food, and trying to taste everything off of Kurt's tongue.

If this is what baking was going to be from now on, Sebastian wouldn't mind baking for the rest of his life.