Part 15: The Ice Queen's Revenge

Jessie, James, and Meowth ran through the top-floor hallways of Jessiebelle's manor, Meowth in the lead. "Oi'm tellin' ya, Oi found d' Snorlax we's lookin' fo'! 'E's roight in dat roo-"

- and then the floor gave way from right underneath the entire lot of them.

Heh. Excellent work, if I do say so myself.

And I do.

Jessie hadn't gone to Ninja School for nothing. Instinctively, she grabbed onto the nearest edge of what was left of the stable flooring, even as Meowth was pain-inducingly running up her back with all twelve claws. "Of COURSE my sister would have set a trap like this after whatever they did to her!" she yelled, cursing as she gripped even more tightly on James' hand, which she had already been holding.

'Who's they? What did they do to - YEAAAAUGH!" James yelled as the gravity of the situation was suddenly all too apparent. "Where's the ground? WHERE'S THE GROOOOOOOUND?"

"SHADDUP AND HOLD ON TO ME!" Jessie screamed back at him. "I can get us out of this! Just hold tight and trust me!"

Heh. Yeah, right. "Hold tight and trust her."

That's what she said when she wanted to take your virginity, didn't she?

Hold tight and trust me.

Except that James did NOT trust Jessie.

Yes, that's it. You can't trust her as far as... as far as she can THROW YOU.

On an unrelated note, isn't it a bit nippy out?

A cold gust of Icy Wind seemed to chill the area between the top floor and a very far drop into what looked and smelled to be a sewer system - which, given Jessiebelle's immaculately classy ways, was the most ironic and unexpected trap in the world.

On the other hand, it fit her true nature to a T.

Meowth had made it across Jessie's back by this point, leaving even more scratch-cat scars on her person for her to show the grandkids (at least, this time, they were in places suitable for showing the grandkids).

Assuming any of them survived to have grandkids.

James didn't realize that Meowth's claws were the reason that Jessie had shuddered. While Jessie looked upwards at the light and hope of the mansion, James stared down into the abyss of the sewer trap, the stench and darkness of raw horror and raw sewage chilling him completely to the bone.

He could feel Jessie's grip shaking, but he didn't realize why.

YES. Doubt her. She's a monster, after all...

Was Jessie having second thoughts on him?

Was she going to abandon him?

He'd already lied to her about not being rich and famous. And now that James had come to the natural conclusion of her family resemblance to Jessiebelle, he felt like even more of a criminal than he was actually TRYING to be.

And he didn't like it.

And he was certain that SHE didn't like it either.

She's a monster. And you? You're worse than a monster, you're a MISTAKE.

...

You were never meant to live. Not as a male, certainly. You should have been culled like the others.

"...Jessie?"

Three pregnancies. Three males. Three "miscarriages."

If your parents weren't celebrities, they'd have never been able to buy off the media to ignore the cullings.

"Hold on a sec, buster," she growled. "I'm workin' here..."

And you REALLY thought Jessiebelle's sister would actually CARE for a mistake like you?

"Jessie... DROP ME."

The pause was a lot shorter than either of them noticed.

What the frell?!

"-Not right now, James." (In fairness, Jessie hadn't even comprehended what it was that James was saying, just that it was breaking her concentration. Typical, really.)

"I said drop me."

Well... if it works...?

Once again, Jessie was a brick wall. "I'm not listening, James. I'm PLAN-"

"I said, DROP-"

No! NOOOOO! Not that light AGAIIIIII-!

- and suddenly James was, indeed, falling, hurtling through the air at a potentially fatal speed, at least in the landing -

Except that he was falling UP.

Even if it wasn't quite the most spectacular flip in Rocket-Dan history, or even in Rocket-Dan trainee history, it was a moment captured flawlessly and forever on Jessiebelle's security cameras (and later on Kanto's Funniest Home Videos) as one of the top ten "Smooth Criminal" operations ever to be recorded on film. (Jessie and James never saw a single penny of Poke-Yen for it, but that's as could be expected - but in later years some of the proceeds were ironically used to pay their bail, so it all evened out.)

While holding James' hand in hers, Jessie had swung on her other arm, the one gripping the edge of the remaining floor, while kicking out from against the wall of Jessiebelle's pathetic little trap, propelling both James and herself in a circular arc over the edge and back onto (evidently) solid ground (and also, thankfully, NOT on top of Meowth this time).

The landing, while not exactly five-star, was surprisingly soft, and it actually took a few seconds for Jessie and James to realize why.

They had landed right on top of Jessiebelle's shiny Snorlax.

Said Snorlax opened one eye, looked at them lazily and somewhat accusingly as to how they had interrupted a good night's sleep (and most of the day's sleep as well), and then closed it again and went right back to sleep, even though it still had two blushing teenagers entangled in each other right on top of its stomach.

Meowth shrugged. "Goise, Snorlax sez ya ain't allowed ta' go swimmin' in 'is loo anytime soon. Th' Muk don' like dat all dat much."

James nodded, stumbled to his feet a bit, and promptly threw up all over Jessiebelle's shiny Snorlax.

I. Hate. GALLADE.

To be continued...