A/N: Just a oneshot that plagued my head for a while now. Now I've finally written it down and chose to publish it here. It was inspired by a scene in the second movie, when Kaguya takes the celestial robe. I'm sure all the fans around here know what scene I mean. It's Inuyasha's thoughts during that scene.
Warnings: Some slight violence and mild coarse language.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything concerning Inuyasha, I'm simply borrowing to my delight. I also do not make any money on this.
Summary: Inuyasha's thoughts during a scene in the second movie. Slight fluff and a heapload of angst!
Reviews are always appreciated, even the anonymous ones! But be kind, English is only my second language. Any spelling errors found may be kept, though I tried my best to locate them all!
Enjoy!
Regards, Callie
The way you are
Sitting in front of a fire together had become natural to them, something they did without even realizing it. Now they barely noticed how they subconsciously sat down next to each other, their limbs almost touching, as if they were destined to sit that way. But on quiet nights such as this, Inuyasha felt Kagome's presence more keenly than usual. Or maybe it was merely the sound of her voice that had an increasing quality to calm him.
And to be frank, he himself didn't really care either. It had just become habit, something they did without clear thought, the hanyou reflected as he sat motionless; staring into the flames to avoid looking at the human on his right side. She talked about that Kaguya-legend she had heard of in that weird school of hers. But he couldn't really pay attention tonight. All his thoughts revolved around her, spun around his mind in ever closer circles, causing the blood in his ears to roar up and his senses to focus on naught but her.
To think that a human; and a female human at that; could sit next to him so calm and trusting, was unsettling though. But then again, Kagome had never shown true fear around him, not even when the demon took over. Or maybe she was just too good at hiding fear from him? But the fact that he hadn't yet sensed fear from her because of him was odd too. But again, Kagome was different in her own right.
"I've been thinking." she started and the hanyou was astonished at how fast his roaring mind calmed and his thoughts screeched to halt at the sound of her voice.
How does she do that, I wonder...
"Maybe this Princess Kaguya; in the legend; didn't really want to return to the moon." the girl said quietly, her face turned upwards to stare at the full moon overhead.
"What are you talking about?" he asked more gruffly than he had intended, but stopped short again as he saw her eyes light up.
"Look! A shooting star! Hurry, make a wish!" she gasped delighted and closed her eyes. For a moment Inuyasha allowed himself to simply stare at her.
The way the firelight cast flickering orange hues on her black hair. The way her dainty hands clasped together, how her head was bowed over her joined fingers, how her long legs angled gracefully in front.
Damn, she's beautiful!
I did NOT just think that about Kagome, did I?
Afraid so.
Worried that she'd look back and catch him staring, the white-haired boy shifted his gaze back to the flames right in front, but the picture of Kagome, bathed in the warm shine of the fire; wouldn't leave his mind. Hopefully he wouldn't blush, that was the last thing he'd need now.
But, thank the spirits above, Kagome didn't notice, but looked down at the small flames again.
"Inuyasha?" she asked without looking up, without even making an attempt to look at him.
"Hm?"
"Do you still want to become a full demon?"
He huffed again, what a stupid question to ask him. He had though he'd made his point absolutely clear on that matter.
"Of course I do." he stated gruffly, hoping he could deter further questions. But true to Kagome's character, she couldn't leave it there. She never had been fazed by his attitude before.
"But you're pretty strong already, don't you think?" she looked at him for a moment, as if to gauge his reaction. But he made a point not to look at her or to move. Perhaps then he could deter her.
"Be quiet, will you? I'm gonna become a full fledged demon. I've already made up my mind. So just quit bugging me about it, would you?" he all but grumbled, angry at himself that he didn't dare to look at her. He knew the look she would give him anyway. She'd be all calm and collected, but underneath all that outward appearance he knew she thought him weak. Inferior to other demons.
Everyone saw him and knew at once what he was. Only a half-demon, a bastard of creation, doomed to a life of disdain and hatred and constant battles to prove himself worthy. They didn't think him a threat, didn't think him strong. Why would Kagome of all people be different?
"I've been thinking, there's nothing wrong with staying the way you are. I mean, why not stay a half-demon?"
As if, you've seen what I'm like when I turn full demon. And you're scared, even if you won't admit that...
"To be honest, I like you just the way you are." she stated and Inuyasha could even hear the smile in her voice while his dark thoughts stopped once again. And despite all his best intentions he dared to sneak a glance at her.
She likes me like I am? Likes me for the half-demon I am?
She didn't look back at him, her gaze was lost in the myriads of stars glinting in the dark heavens above their heads.
But before he could fully understand her sentence and the fact that Kagome might like him as the hanyou he was, his mind immediately negated it. No one liked a hanyou, he was neither human or demon, none of either, but hated by both. He belonged nowhere and was despised by everyone. Soon Kagome would realize his weakness too and look down at him. He wasn't sure what he'd do, when that day came, wasn't even sure what would hapen after it, but Kagome was the one human he wouldn't be able to ignore. Simple as that.
His instincts, honed by decades of disdain and hatred, kicked into defensive aggression at once, since that was the only way he knew of to hide the fear that Kagome of all beings could hate him one day.
"That's ridiculous." he growled and fixed his irritated glower onto the flames bouncing so damned cheerfully in front of him.
But apparently his answer had angered his human companion, for his sensitive ears picked up on a slight huff coming from her, while her scent changed the slightest bit. Her heartbeat sped up and from the corner of his eyes he could see her ball her fists.
"What's so ridiculous? Can't you be a little serious?" she all but shouted at him, reaching for his shoulder.
As soon as her hand contacted with him, if felt as if lightning struck through him and he could not keep avoiding his gaze from hers anymore. Damn him, but he had to look at her, he simply had to.
Automatically his gaze shifted, drawn by the warm shine of her doe eyes. Her delicate forehead was frowned in anger, those thin brows knitted together, her lips pressed down firmly, while her eyes blazed and sparked in fury.
He'd never admit this to anyone, but he secretly loved seeing that reaction in her. She was quite simply adorable when she was angered at him, which was why he used every opportunity to pick a fight with her. For the sole reason of seeing her so annoyed, just for the moment when her scent changed and her eyes blazed with fire themselves. Just because she looked so damned beautiful.
That fire in her eyes, the way those captivating orbs blazed as they narrowed, her posture tensed and all her muscles readied as if in preparation to strike, he even was able to see her delicate human ears move slightly backwards. If she had ears like his, she would have pressed them to her skull in a show and plain anger.
In short, it was breathtaking.
Sadly, her anger vanished all too soon and he was faced with a look he hadn't seen before. Not from her or any other human he had ever had contact with. She stared at him as if she'd just now met him for the first time. Looked at him almost disbelievingly, wide-eyed, she even drew her hand back to let it hover between them.
Quickly Inuyasha placed a scowl over his features again, hoping with everything he was, that she wouldn't ask him further questions.
"What is it now?" he snarled at her, now confidentely back in his defensive position.
"Inuyasha..?" she breathed and the hanyou coulnd't but delight in the way she said his name.
So many, human and demon alike, had spoken his name before, the humans in fear and the demons and disdain, but only Kagome never said it either way. In fact with those fascinating lips she managed to make his name sound like a bunch of different things all rolled into one. A plea for something, be it help or information; a soft encouragement, a warning, so many things expressed by three characters, four syllables, nothing more. Choosing to ignore the way her lips breathed his name and banish all thoughts connected with it, he stared right back at her, waiting for her to continue. Thouh he did pray to the Kami above that she hadn't been able to spot what he had hidden so very carefully.
Damn it, I'm really done for with her, aren't I?
Looks like it...
But then, so very sudden, his instincts roared to life as he felt a demonic presence draw near at remarkable speed. The tree behind them sprang to life, breaking out blossoms and casting everything into an eerie purplish hue. Automatically his hand found the hilt of the Tetsusaiga, as his body moved on its own accord to let him jump slightly in front of Kagome. He couldn't remember the next few seconds clearly, all his mind was focussed on was the urge to protect Kagome from that witch. He couldnt recall what he said to that damned woman standing above the water with that mirror hovering in front of her, but suddenly he heard her murmur some spell and he was trapped by thick roots. His body crashed into the trunk of the tree behind and Kagome; sweet innocent Kagome; tried to defend him. Took on the witch, armed with nothing more but her sacred arrows and unwavering belief that they'd make it out alive.
Inuyasha struggled and tore at the roots, something deep within him screamed that he had to protect Kagome, shield her from harm.
Suddenly she stood next to him, perched on a tree root, so close he could catch her scent clearly. And her scent only served to reinforce the overwhelming sense that something was about to happen. Futively he struggled, his body immovable by the spell that held him bound, cursed to watch as everything played out. And then, all he was screeched to a standstill as Kagome's voice filtered through his mind.
"It's your funeral." her voice was cold, detached, tinged with fury, something so very far from Kagome that he almost couldn't believe it. And then her fingers released the arrow. Though as Inuyasha saw the arrow dissapear into that mirror, his instincst exploded in sheer panic.
I have to get out of here! I have to protect Kagome!
And then, so many things happened at once, time seemed to speed for him. Kagome, screaming his name in terror, that Hojo-guy throwing his pack and something tearing through the air with a hiss that was all too familiar.
The sounds died for a moment, silence filled the air, broken so drastically by an arrow piercing flesh with a harsh thud. That terrible sound; made all the clearer by his acute hearing; echoed with a hiss of air released from Kagome's lungs, froze him to the spot, his eyes unable to look at anything but Kagome.
His gaze felt glued to her suddenly peaceful and almost relaxed face, her body rested against his with one of her hands almost reaching his throat. And though the hanyou suddenly felt the urge to grab her and hold her close to him, he couldn't move.
Oh the torment of that...
Her name fled past his lips in a hushed whisper, yet she didn't respond as she usually did. She didn't look up and turn beet-red because of the proximity, she just leaned there, her body to his, both frozen in time. The scent of blood tickled his nose and suddenly, in all its agonizing clarity, he understood.
Kagome was hurt! Kagome had been hit with her own arrow; Kagome whom he had vowed to protect with his life if need be had been harmed because of him. Had been hurt while trying to protect him. For a long moment his breath caught, wondering if he'd ever hear another one from her again. Moments streched into infinity, things that had rushed by before, now crawled by, like time itself slowed and came to a standstill.
Terrified by her stillness and agonized over a possibility he didn't want to face yet he screamed her name, frightened that he'd never open her doe eyes again. But she did. Her glazed hazel orbs glanced at him and suddenly that peaceful and utterly relaxed face scared him more than any demon ever had or ever could.
"Inuyasha..."
It seemed that his name had never held more significance than when she said it right then, in that very moment.
"I'm so thankful. You're alright."
Her voice, so soft and so serene, she was wounded and yet he couldn't pick up any trace of pain of fear in her voice or her scent. She was calm, peaceful. Thankful that at the very least he wasn't harmed by her sacred arrow. Ironically it would have pierced him and nailed him to the tree once again, just like the last time a priestess had aimed an arrow at him.
What irony that would have been...
His terror, so wild and fierce, caused him to shout at her.
"Why did you do that? Why didn't you stay away?"
He couldn't fathom that girl. She had deliberately moved in front of him, surely she must have known that she would have been hit. Must have known what would happen then. Must have accepted the possibility of serious injury or even worse. And still she had done it. Because of him.
His overwrought senses, sharpened by fear and a gnawing feeling of impending loss picked up on her heartbeat, realizing it to be slower than before. And slowing ever further.
"It's alright. And besides, you're always saving me, right?"
Oh Kami...
Her soft question made him feel so damned empty, as if he'd die right where he was, only because of that question. Kagome asked him to save her. From the claws of death no less. And just then, in that precise moment, with the feeling of loss so near; that light in her eyes, the very same light he could spent centuries watching, flickered and failed, before her lids drooped and her eyes closed. Before her muscles relaxed and gravity pulled her body away from his.
Frantically he repeated her name, recognizing how increasingly desperate he was beginning to sound. With her body not pressed to his, he was unable to figure out if she was still breathing, if her heart continued beating, or if the arrow had already claimed the life of the one person he could not bear losing.
Now all he could do was strain against his bonds, screaming her name with increasing volume and desperation. But it availed him naught, his body was trapped, his gaze doomed to watch her limp body lying to his feet, still and unmoving. With that cursed celestial robe draped over her and fixed with that arrow sticking out of her back. In some distant part of his mind, he knew that the arrow had pierced her chest, had pierced her heart as it would have pierced his. And with that realisation, his sanity retreated from him, while all he could focus on was if that form in front of him might be Kagome's dead body.
Presently, and so very sudden, laughter reached his dimming mind and that dreadful sorrow of loss he felt faded and made way to blazing wrath. His gaze found that despicable demon in disguise and set his emotions rampant, hating that woman with all the fury of his demon soul. His anger caused him to strain against his bonds, wanting nothing more than to tear that woman to shreds with his bare hands. Make her pay for harming Kagome. He felt his lips curl upwards, baring his fangs and snarling at the hovering figure looming over him.
"Let me go, you creepy witch! If Kagome dies, you're going to regret the day you ever met me!" he growled and meant every word. If Kagome was truly dead, he wouldn't stop until he had slaughtered that demon. He'd hunt her down, and be it even to the ends of the world, he'd find her and make her pay.
But then, Kaguya cast a spell over Kagome, causing her limp and pale form to lift from the ground and he caught another glimpse of her face, ashen and lax in death.
"No! Put her down! Where are you taking her?" he screamed, terrified that he wouldn't even be able to hold her now, to hold her even in death.
"Come to my dream-castle... That is, if you so desire." the witch answered and vanished with Kagome into nothingness. He heard himself scream her name, as if she might return, if he only wished for it hard enough.
His muscles strained once more and suddenly the bonds snapped and his body took off in pursuit of that woman. But he could not reach her and his limby stopped, leaving him standing in the middle of the river, looking up to where Kaguya had vanished with his Kagome.
And then, a memory invaded his thought, a memory of something he had almost forgotten. It was the memory of Kagome telling him to avenge her death while they had been helping Jinenji, that other half-demon. Then he'd only grudgingly accepted, more to make her stop screeching into his ears, but now, with the real possibility of Kagome lying dead in Kaguya's grasp, he readily wanted to do just that. Take revenge for Kagome. Avenge her death and send that demon into the lowest regions of Hell.
I'll find you Kagome. And then I'll avenge your death, I swear to you. I'll avenge you...
FIN
Review if you like and thank you very much for reading my little oneshot!