Chapter 31: Turning

Turning, turning, turning through the years

Minutes into hours and the hours into years.

Nothing changes. Nothing ever can

Round about the roundabout and back where you began.

-Les Miserables

There was a soft tap on the bedroom door before it opened and Kirsti appeared. The moment she looked ready to speak, I took a deep breath. She'd been here since Darren's reaping, with that cold inhuman speaker box in her throat. Like everything in this place these days, she came with the comfort of an old touch but that shivering harshness of the new. "Everything is set, Mrs. Broderson. They are ready for you."

"The Avoxes?" She came up close, taking the blush brush from my hands, gently sweeping the soft bristles against my cheeks with a broken mechanic laugh.

"All working in the kitchen tonight, mam." Kirsti placed the brush down and pulled me towards the full-length mirror. "Now let's get a good look at you and make sure we did alright." The gown was black, strapless with a full skirt, layers pinned up with small diamond pins. I didn't wear any shining tiara or rubies shaped like roses, just a simple diamond earrings and one large diamond pendent hanging from a simple silver chain. I didn't look like a Snow, I didn't look like Mrs. Broderson, or Selena, or Haymitch in his good suits. Darren was right, we were something new.

"Tell them I apologize, but if they wish to see Mr. Broderson home we can not risk unsettling any of our guests. The supporters of the new ways shall complain they still choose to work in our family's service, while supporters of the old will not like to hear them speak." I knew she could read farther into it, that she knew how much I had to concentrate to stop my bones my shaking each time she spoke to me, with that mechanic unnatural voice after so long of communicating through simple glances and reading each other's body. It was as though that link had vanished.

"Of course, Mrs. Broderson. They understand. I understand."

"Come on December. It's time." Dad came in, dressed in his best suit with his hair slicked back and for a second I wondered what life would have been like. If Selena had lived in District 12, and I was born there and came every once and a while with my Victor father to the splendor of the Capitol. Or if papa had just left me with her and I watched this world from the screens.

I really had no way to know, and I'd have to live with that.

So I laughed and pursed my lips in the glass to make sure the color was even. "The Hostess is never late, Dad, everyone else is simply early."

He just shook his head and stayed in the doorway. "Are you sure you want to do this, announce to the entire country that you're pregnant?"

"I know how to work a crowd. And I know what you're thinking, that Peeta and Katniss used the same trick. This is nothing like that. First, I'm spinning it differently, since I'm not going in, and second, I have medical proof on the matter. Would you mind escorting me in?"

I knew that look on his face, the one where he was sick of me ignoring the conversations he wanted to have, just like I never let him say Darren's name unless the staff was around to work on party planning. But he sighed and offered up an arm. "I would be honored, little one."

My voice dropped to a whisper as we walked through the upstairs hall. "Has President Paylor arrived?"

"No, but the rumors still say she will appear. Havensbee is here however. We have a watch on him, since it's also rumored some of the top leaders of the Preservers have shown as well. Be careful, little one, whatever statement you make tonight will be heard in person by the most powerful people of this new order." I nodded, but the smile on my face, as we rounded the corner and I saw the crowd at the bottom of the stairs, was real. It might be a new order, but Dad was learning the rules after all.

A hush came over the party-goers as I raised my hand in greeting. "Welcome, my beloved guests! Did you miss me?" I smiled as the claps began. "Welcome to a night of true celebration as we approach the 76th Annual Hunger Games! Please, enjoy yourselves, use this night as a chance to continue the glorious work our nation has begun in breaking down old social barriers, and use it also as a night to reconnect with old friends. Welcome, Panem, to the Broderson Home, a home we hope shall be a defining location in the new age! Long Live Panem!"

My eyes searched the crowd and I found him, Havensbee lurking in the back and weakly clapping along with the cheering crowd.

"But first, I have one selfish reason for this celebration. As my husband eagerly prepares for his chance to honor our nation, a nation worth fighting for, in the pageant that we have known as ultimate sacrifice for all our lives, our own family is preparing for our own chance to add to this new and evolving world. Ladies and Gentlemen, friends old and new, I am pleased to announce that a surprise for not only all of you, but my beloved husband as well. I am with child. I carry two Broderson heirs in my womb."

And in that moment you could separate the crowd, and I knew which man lead the Preservers. Our kind, the elite, the native Capitolists, were cheering louder than they had in a year, and one man, standing not to far from Havensbee and flanked by two undercover guards, crossed his arms with a smug expression on his face.

The other half of the crowd slowly joined in the claps, trying to blend in but they never would. They didn't wear the clothes as easily, or the make-up quite the same. They didn't smile on cue or blush just the right color when told. And why would they? Even as they aspired to be one of us, they never bothered to think of what to do when they actually were.

"I shall only detain you from the revels of the evening one moment longer. Know, that whether my husband returns home to me or we bury him, I am proud ot be the mother of children with such a wonderful father, and they will always know him as a hero to this nation. Thank you."

Peeta was smiling as I met his eyes, his hand clasping Katniss's but I saw the distrust in her eyes. And as his mentors, they would be the ones to bring Darren the news. "Also, I almost forgot to mention. To any of you who feel I may not be telling the truth you may speak my doctor who will be circulating tonight's event with the ultrasound images. I've also given her full permission to share any details about my health, including my recovery from the bullet wounds I received about a month ago. Please, see her if you have any concerns. If you have none, enjoy the evening!"

I should have waiting for the crowd to disperse on their own, for the cheers and claps to end naturally, should have waited to bow my head before gracefully descending the stairs, but I caught one more face in the crowd and I wanted nothing more than to thank the man who finally decided to share the truth.

"Uncle!" I wanted to be ten again, where I could rush into the arms of a family member and have the cameras call me adorable. Instead I held my head high and walked with him to a corner of the room. "Thank you for sending the videos."

"I'm sorry that the truth can be such a cold thing. That's where the archives get lonely, all those files of truth." A man I barely knew from my childhood, a man who my siblings and I always pictured withering away among papers and tapes in dark tunnels, and yet he was all of that family that was left. And he wasn't even our blood, just married in to a traitor. But hadn't I learned blood didn't mean much.

"I should have been there more for you when they took the Capitol, but Rosa made sure to tie my hands. But I don't want you to feel any guilt, child. Your father called me when he and Everett recognized Rosa on her broadcast, and it took me a moment to realize what they were saying. I didn't recognize Rosa, and then I watched the clip over and over just to see my wife again. She only came to see me once before she died officially, just to tell me she'd let me keep my job if I held my tongue."

He laughed, his gaze traveling around the room. "You know, there were always the great houses, the great families. And at some point in history, my dear, they all fell. Sometimes a whole society toppled, or they vanished one by one due to money troubles or no clear heir, but they died out all the same. But another set always rises up to replace them, that I assure you.

"Have you ever heard of England? I would have assumed not. It was a nation far from here, this one once being the United States. They had great families, with massive estates and sometimes when I read I think they were a lot like us in the elite. The great parties, the dinner outfits and the servants. Then a war came, a great war that covered the entire world, and they survived but it wasn't quite the same and many families crumbled because they were too stuck in the old ways to make the slightest adjustments.

He removed a jewelry pouch from his inside jacket pocket, and I reached for the diamonds the second he showed them to me. "Take a new start, my dear, and give your child a chance to be the one that does." My hands fumbled with the clasp of the necklace I had on, so my Uncle reached to help me. "Perhaps it won't be the name Snow, or even Broderson if it's a girl and she marries, but it will be the blood all the same." The diamonds fell into place on my neck, and I knew they sat like they did on Mother. I felt my head rise higher; a sparkle hit my eye just like she always had when she wore them. "And blood is what fuels our minds yes, but it is the knowledge and morals we keep there that powers us onwards. There, December, is where you are a Snow and there is where you will make this family proud. Enjoy your party, my dear. Celebrate. You deserve to be happy."

I nodded, and like the man of mystery from childhood, he vanished into the crowd. But it only took a moment for another man to walk up, his two guards still flanking him. I immediately gestured for two of mine.

Upon his look of mistrust, I smirked. "You must know I only ever try to play fair. You've been watching me ever since the war ended, and I don't even know your name."

"Martin Winchester. Not quite in the Center Circle, but one ring past."

"Welcome to my home, Mr. Winchester." It pained me, but I bowed my head slightly. Living location didn't matter anymore, what matter was that this man had followers.

He smiled, and waved back his two guards, so I waved back mine. "Now, December Snow Broderson, we may talk in peace." Like a proper gentleman, he offered me his arm and we slipped out in the gardens, pretending like our guards weren't trailing us from a distance at all. "We expected to hear from you upon your arrival into the city. I was rather surprised when we did not. You did receive our message before you departed?"

The one thing I kept from my interview.

The girl getting me ready for papa's execution. Her silence and then the one thing she wshipered in my ear.

"Do you know the ice cream parlor, a block over from the Academy?"

"I used to take my brother there."

"That's where you will find us, if you ever decide to come looking."

"Who are you?"

"Someone who played a part very well to get this close to you. The boy, the son, always ordered the Neapolitan delight. Two scoops."

"No, three."

"Two. Remember two, with the cookie dough whipped cream."

"I got your message, but if you failed to notice I was under tight surveillance, and then shot. I would assume you and your people would at least be grateful I didn't lead Havensbee's men right to your door. I guess it's too much to ask that perhaps you could have used all the effort you spent having a tail on me to at least keep one shooter at bay?" His polite arm fell away and his hand grasped my wrist.

"Think of your children. The heirs to our nation are in your womb. Think of the future you could give them."

I tugged away, my voice dropping to a low whisper and harsher tone. "I have to get my husband home first. If you can do something about that, please, let us continue this conversation, but no matter what I say for the benefit of crowds, I don't care about the future of my children unless they have a father. Good night, Mr. Winchester." With a snap of my fingers, my guards fell back into place as I reentered the party.

Guest after guest, endless faces coming near me, desperate to give their own take on the news, their own view of the future, their own congratulations or condemnations. I saw Paylor from a distance, though when I tried to approach, she only lingered long enough for the welcome she deserved from the hostess and nothing more. She was Plutarch's pet after all, only attending to witness how strong of a group I could gather. How much of a party I could throw that could rival anything from her. Just how strong I still could be.

But as I stood on the front steps, waving away the last of the crowd as the sun starting to rise, their shadows disappearing in the distance I remembered the crowd as Darren walked away, the sun having just risen and the smile I had to force on my face then as well. I remembered watching them all walk away, heading off to fight and having to stand still right in this spot. Dad took my hand and for a second he gave me enough strength to let the fake smile slip away.

Dad leaned in close. "I'm worried about you little one. It scares me how you can do that, just cast out the emotion and plaster a smile on your face, as though nothing in the world can phase you."

I just squeezed his hand tighter and my voice dropped to a whisper. "Don't worry. It scares me too."

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