Ok so this is my first vampire diaries fanfiction! However it's not my first fanfiction. I've wrote a one shot for the secret circle called our love is stronger then a curse as well as a story that I'm still going with called inevitable for the secret circle. So if you watch/read the secret circle go check those out! Anyway I wanted to write one for the vampire diaries because I'm in love with it! Total delena fan! I was thinking about starting to write some things for the vampire diaries whether it be an on going story or one shots. Review and tell me what oh you think of this one shot and if I should start writing more for TVD. REVIEW AND ENJOY!

Everyone has a past; a past you try to forget day in and day out.

Everyone has memories of things they rather not bring up.

That was the outline of his life.

No matter how far away he ran. No matter how much he pushed away the people he loved, they would still come back. Trying again and again to "fix" him. But with them came the memories.

The memories that constantly reminded him how much he didn't deserve them.

How much he didn't deserve Stefan. Or even the rest of the little gang him and his brother managed to keep alive. But the one that hurt the most; the one that he has tried so hard to be the better man for was Elena.

She was sweet,kind and had the biggest heart he ever thought possible.

She kept him grounded every single time he thought he would break.

And if he did break it wouldn't be because of her it would be because for a split second he had let himself think about never having her. Never touching her lips or holding her in his arms. He had let him self dwell on the fact that no matter how much he changed it would always be Stefan.

He tried his hardest everyday to not think about that. but she made it hard him.

giving him those cute but small smiles

and laughing at the slightest things

and giving him that damn "being the better man" speech.

today though it was different. she didn't give him a speech and she didn't have the smile on her face that lit up the whole room or laughs that sounded like singing in the wind. And he found himself missing it.

"what cat got your tongue?" he mocked smirking before plopping on the couch next to her."Damon...I..." she sighed and leaned forward. her arms resting on her knees before letting out a small chuckle "cats definitely got my tongue" she whispered as a blush creeped it's way onto her face.

"there it is. Now that's Elena" he murmured She looked to the floor then into his eyes

"you love me" she said

Not knowing if it was meant to be a statement or a question he simply answered,

"you know that without asking"

She nodded and looked down to her feet."was it easy?" she asked

He raised an eyebrow"was what easy?"

"compelling me to forget that you said you loved me and...that you dont deserve me"

His eyes grew wide and his grip on arm rest tightened slightly. Not knowing exactly what to say he disregarded her question,but instead asked,

"how?" he whispered his voice coming out low and detached

She took a deep breath " when I died...when I came back your compulsion wore off"

he sighed"it wasn't easy. I didn't want you to forget.I never wanted you to forget. But it was better that way. I just needed to tell you. I needed to hear my own voice say it out loud. Leaving you to remember just didn't seem right but it was all true"

And there it was. All his cards where out on the table.

His eye's staid glued to the hard floor beneath him not really knowing what to do with himself. He had never felt so vulnerable in his whole life and it scared him more then anything.

He wondered why he even told her in the first place. Why put himself through all the pain if he already knew what was to come.

Suddenly she began to speak the words flowing out of her mouth before she had anymore time to think about it.

" you were wrong...I'm the one who doesn't deserve you. You've stood by me through everything. You were my rock. the only thing keeping me from falling apart. You've risked your life for me time and time again. And you alway found your way back to me when I was in danger. After all that you've done for me what have I done for you? Hurt you. All I did was hurt you. I didn't mean to hurt you but somehow everything I did; every stupid word that's ever came from my mouth hurt you. That's something i will never forgive myself for...but out of everything..somehow you snuck up on me and...i fell for you just as much as you did for me. I love you Damon. I'm tired of lying to everyone including myself.I need you to breathe. I need you to keep my sane and happy. I love you so much I can't even explain it. The moment Stefan left I knew that me and him...we would never be the same...I tried though I was fighting for us...fighting to feel something for him again because I thought if I loved you that I would be like Katherine. I still love him but like a brother and I've told him that. I love you Damon and I'm so sorry for everythi-"

She was cut off by his lips And it didn't take her long to respond. She had waited forever for this moment and so had he.

He wanted to freeze time in that moment and live in it forever.

this was how it was suppose to be.

it felt right

it felt safe.

it felt like home.

he pulled back slightly and smiled at her.

"I love you Elena more then anything. I still don't deserve you. But I'll spend Eternity trying"