A/N: Okay. THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH GINTAMA WRITERS AROUND. So I'm here to try to make up the numbers! I shall publish 1000 fics a day! ...or not. But anyway, here's one?

Let's see. Crackpairing, yes...by the way, I'm a GinTae shipper. Just sayin'. So there's probably GinTae. Probably. Eventually. Saa.

I like to write soap-opera style (multiple scenes taking place at the same time switching in and out, Days of Our Lives anyone?) so...here you go.

Chapter 1

"Ohayou gozaimasu."

It would have been just like any other greeting to Gintoki and Kagura having breakfast on any other day, only that Shinpachi sounded even more depressed than he normally did.

"Oi, Shinpachi-" Gintoki could not resist putting in a jab, as usual- "aren't you only 16? You should be way more enthusiastic than that! You should be-"

"Ane-ue is getting married."

"That's right, you're lightning years away from mar-" A full second of silence ensued, before Kagura and Gintoki's voice resounded in the tiny room. "EEEEEEEHHHHH?"

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"Anego~~~ They grow up so fast..." Kagura was in her own reality, weeping melodramatic tears of melodrama.

Shinpachi shot her the look he reserved for morons. "That's MY line! And anyway, look who's speaking!"

Gintoki however, looked sick to the stomach. Whether it was simply the memory of the merciless beating he received at Otae's hands or something else, no one would ever know. "Oi Shinpachi...don't tell me she finally succumbed to Gori? What did he bribe her with? Reconstruction of the dojo? Lifetime supply of Bargain Dash?"

Shinpachi shook his head. "No, it's not Gori. Anyway, what, you think only Gori is interested in her? ...You're right, who would be interested in a female demon... Ah, well, look at what I'm saying, it turns out there IS somebody else interested in her..Ouch!" He glared at Gintoki, who had just thrown a well-aimed chopstick at his forehead.

"Sorry, my hand slipped. More importantly...stop beating about the bush and get on with the show! Who the hell is crazy enough to condemn themselves to a life of endless suffering?"

The front door slid open.

"Me."

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Gintoki and Kagura's jaws hit the floor in total shock. Shinpachi buried his face in his hands.

Katsura Kotarou serenely stepped into the room and shut the door behind him. "I hope you don't mind my intrusion so early in the morning."

"Wh..H..Whe.." Gintoki sputtered.

Kagura had passed out on the floor.

Katsura stepped over Kagura's prone body and sat down opposite of Gintoki. "It appears you have heard the news."

"Wh...H...Whe..." Gintoki sputtered.

"I thought, well, we're not getting any younger, and what better way to change the country from within, to continue our work even when we are not physically existing on this Earth, than by passing our legacy to our offspring and to bring them up to follow the way of the samurai..."

Shinpachi's face had turned green from the image of Katsura's and Otae's offspring.

Gintoki, however, was staring at his childhood friend suspiciously. "Oi, don't joke around, Katsura... You know I'm going to kill you if I find out that this is just some kind of huge scam, right?"

Katsura eyed him levelly. "Of course I do. Which is why I'm telling it straight to your face. It's not a scam."

Gintoki stared at him for a good few seconds before leaning back and closing his eyes. "Yup. Gotta be a dream. It'll all be over when I wake- Ow!"

Katsura had thrown a chopstick at his forehead. "Come on, Gintoki. Don't be an idiot. I'm here to invite you to the ceremony."

Gintoki continued staring at his long-haired friend, who was now looking down at his lap, a picture of complete seriousness.

And proceeded to throttle him.

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"Heeee? You're getting married?"

Otae smiled sunnily, a picture of the perfect woman hiding atrocious cooking skills and demonic strength. "Yep!"

Oryou covered her mouth in horror. "Masaka..G-"

"If you mention him I'll kill you."

"Then...who?"

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"Ow ow ow ow ow! Will you please stop...ch-..." Katsura started to choke and splutter as Gin tightened his hold on his neck.

"I don't understand it! I don't understand anything at all! How is that I, as the main character of this show, am so in the dark about such an important development! Explain, you long-haired Joui asshole!"

"I don't think he can explain in that position," Shinpachi commented.

Katsura finally kneed Gintoki, knocking the wind out of his stomach. "Astute observation from my future brother-in-law," he rasped, rubbing his throat where Gin's hands had circled it a few seconds ago. "If you would stop acting like a barbaric moron, Gintoki, I would actually be able to explain..."

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"HEEEEEEEEEEEE?"

"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?" The second wail came from one heartbroken Shinsengumi commander, who came flying from behind a random tree. "OTAE-CHAN! HOW COULD Y-"

Otae punched him calmly away and continued. "Well, I'm not getting any younger, and maybe it will help to have a man around the house if I want to rebuild the dojo. He's perfectly understanding about what I want, and he's willing to help, too..."

Oryou was still shell-shocked. "But...Otae-chan... I didn't know you had feelings for him all this while..."

"Maa ne, Oryou-chan. Feelings are over-rated. We'll develop them as the marriage goes along!"

"Heee..."

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"Anyway, so this was how it went," Katsura began to his rapt audience, including a just-revived Kagura, Otose-san and Catherine. "A few months back or so, maybe it was three, four months? I was returning from an important meeting with...well, I can't tell you that or I'd have to kill you. Anyway, I was on my way back, when I ran into Otae-san, also on her way back from her shift at Snack Smile. We've never really spoken, but-"

BOOM.

All six heads swiveled round to face the door, freshly blasted off from its hinges, and several uniformed men. "It's the Shinsengumi! Katsura, you're under arrest!"

"Damn!" Katsura jumped to his feet. "Sorry everyone. Gotta..." He flung his signature Nmaibou. Mayonnaise flavoured. "Run!"

As the Shinsengumi members coughed and sputtered from the mayonnaise fumes, except for Hijikata who was inhaling it like a man possessed, Katsura leapt out a back window.

Leaving the Shinsengumi to face the wrath of - well, it was not pretty.

Kagura growled. "YOU!" She leapt up to kick Okita. "We were just getting to the good part of the story! Now we'll never know why Zura and Anego's getting married!"

"Calm down, Kagura," Shinpachi remarked. "It's not like Katsura-san is dead, and you know, I would have thought you guys would remember to use masks by now. It's almost like you purposely want to let him get away."

Only Yamazaki caught Kagura's remark, as Hijikata was still swooning in the mayo-fumes and Okita was busy battling/arguing with Kagura. "EEEEHH? What did you say? Katsura's getting married? Katsura Kotarou aka The Nobleman of Fury aka Nige no Kotarou aka Space Captain Katsura aka Zurako?"

"That's right," Otose-san replied. "To Otae-chan."

That caught everybody's attention. "HEEEEEEEEE?"

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"Ara, if it isn't Katsura-san..."

"Otae-san. Good evening. It's been awhile."

"Are you on your way back?"

"Yes. And you as well?"

"Sou ne...we are women of the night, after all."

"How have you been? Is Shinpachi well?"

"Ah, that brother of mine...well, although of course I would rather he have an actual job, he seems to be happy..."

"Well, life is too short to spend doing things that you don't enjoy."

"That's very true...anyway, I trust Gin-san."

"That's a very frank expression of your feelings."

"...He's a lot of things, but despite all that I know I can trust him."

"...Yes. I could never have wished for anybody else to have my back in the war."

"..."

"..."

"Katsura-san?"

"Yes?"

"Do you mind if I ask your opinion on something?"

"Well if it's about the Shinsengumi than I have to refuse. I would have no choice but to speak in a manner that ill befits you."

Tae giggled. "No, it's not about the Shinsengumi. You know, despite your serious demeanour, you do have a sense of humour."

"Life is too short not to have one. What is it you wish to ask?"

"Well...how do I put this...let's say there's something you want really badly but no matter what you do, you just can't attain it. How do you deal with it?"

"..."

"I mean, I'm asking you because...I hope you don't mind me saying it but-"

"The Jouishishi don't seem to be reaching their goals?"

"Well...yes."

"...It is frustrating to be sure, but sometimes I think maybe the journey is more important than the destination. I mean, what would we be without our dreams to guide us? If you didn't have the dream of re-building your father's dojo, Otae-san wouldn't really be Otae-san."

"...I like talking to you. We should have these conversations more often."

"Likewise."

"I'm...my dojo's up ahead."

"I know."

"Right, you ARE the Joui leader after all. Anyway...thank you. For accompanying me."

"It's on the way. Don't worry about it."

"Well, see you some time then."

"...Otae-san?"

"Yes?"

"Another thing about your question...It's frustrating to care about someone deeply but for various reasons, that person is out of your reach. I know how you feel."

"...Katsura-san..."

"Well..how do you put it...I'm probably in the same boat as you. Well, good night."

tbc

A/N: I'm starting to like this crackpairing. Maybe I should just stick with it. *runs*