A/N: This is my first fan-fic. It's been an idea festering in my mind ever since I finished ME3. It always bothered me how the Normandy seemed to have abandoned Shepard in London, so this is just my take on how she reacted and the events that followed.

Please feel free to review and constructive criticism is always welcome :)

-razz

Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect, its characters, or, sadly, even Shepard. BioWare owns all.

Kaidan groaned as he was stirred from his sleep by the soft, intermittent flashing of his terminal, indicating he had received a new message. With one eye closed, he looked at the slender arm draped across his midsection. His gaze wandered over to the happily sleeping woman next to him as he gently slipped out from under her embrace. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed and rested his still sleep hazed head in his hands while he collected himself.

After taking a few rousing breaths, he glanced at the clock sitting next to his bedside. The red numbers read 4:17 AM. Who in their right mind would message him at this hour? With a sigh, he picked up his lazy body and trudged over to his desk. The screen flared to life as it detected his presence nearing, its harsh glare caused him to wince. The orange glow illuminated his bare chest as he bent over the desk to read his message.

With half-lidded eyes, he glanced at the sender.

Admiral Hackett.

Shit.

He opened the message and quickly skimmed the e-mail, trying to ignore the migraine that began to throb behind his tired eyes.

Major Alenko:

Your immediate presence is required at Alliance Command in Vancouver, Earth. Due to the delicate nature of the matter, your debriefing will occur in person upon your arrival.

Passage on a shuttle has already been booked to expedite your arrival. It leaves at 0700. A cab will pick you up from your apartment at 0600 and will bring you to the spaceport.

Do not worry about bringing any personal belongings or clothing; we have taken the liberty to pack any necessary luggage you will require during your stay.

Thank you for your immediate attention to this matter,

Admiral Hackett
Human Alliance Command

Kaidan loudly exhaled as he finished reading his new orders. His mind starting reeling through the various possible missions Hackett had planned for him. The Major found it unusual that they were delaying his debriefing until after he arrived. It had become standard protocol to inform him of the nature of the mission via comm units before departure. It gave him more time to prepare a tactical plan or map out the most effective means of infiltration to retrieve enemy information.

The last time Kaidan had ever been hailed by Alliance Command with so much ambiguity was when he served with Commander Shepard aboard the Normandy to fight against the geth and the Reaper invasion. But the Reapers had been defeated more than 5 years ago, and with their destruction, the geth, too, had been eradicated. Ever since then, the majority of his missions involved settling diplomatic disputes, rebuilding civilian colonies, and occasionally, on a really exciting day, he even had meetings with the Council to advocate for human assistance on Earth.

Oh sure, there was always the sporadic mission requiring him to break into alien or gang hideouts to discover what devious plans they had crafted to take over the galaxy in its vulnerable state. Sometimes he even went on rescue missions to save an important political figure being held as ransom for basic necessities that the colony needed for sheer survival.

But none of it was anything so confidential that they couldn't give him a quick debrief before setting off for his destination. The world was still in chaos and even the gang factions' numbers had been whittled down next to zero by the slaughter the Reapers had committed.

"…Kaidan? What are you doing up?" a feminine voice thick with sleep questioned. "Are you having one of your migraines, baby?"

Her voice startled him and caused him jump, disturbing the migraine he'd almost managed to will away. He looked over at her. She sat upright in bed, her arms wrapped around her knees as she drew them towards her chest.

"Just a small one, Erin, I'll be okay. I didn't mean to wake you; I'm sorry," his brow pulled together with guilt.

She shook her head lightly. "You didn't. I was having a difficult time sleeping, anyway."

Kaidan just gave a small nod as his eyes drifted back to the clock. It was now 4:32. He had less than an hour and a half before his chauffeur arrived. Great. He sat down in the desk chair and ran his hands over his face. His scruff scraped lightly on his palms, reminding him he needed to shave before leaving.

Erin frowned as she tried to discern the expression on his face. "Baby, what's wrong?"

I hate it when she calls me that.

"Admiral Hackett messaged me- he needs me to go to Vancouver," Kaidan said as he massaged his temple. He really wasn't in the mood for a migraine right now.

Erin stepped out of the warm confines of her bed and switched on a small table lamp on the other side of the room. She began rummaging around in a desk drawer. The sound was excruciatingly loud to Kaidan's sensitive ears and he cringed with every shuffle and clank as objects were shifted.

"What's going on in Vancouver? Maybe you'll have time to swing by and visit your parents. Your mother is worried about you, you know." The petite blonde made a satisfied sound as she apparently found what she was looking for.

Kaidan's eyes shut tightly at the reminder of his parents and his migraine relentlessly pounded against his skull.

After the Reapers' destruction, Kaidan and the rest of the crew aboard the Normandy had crashed on one of Saturn's moons. It had been weeks before they could establish any sort of communication with Earth. When the Alliance had finally managed to send out a retrieval unit, Kaidan's father was onboard.

His father was an Alliance solider, through and through, and he felt as though Kaidan betrayed everything the Alliance stood for by abandoning Earth and his Commander at the beam in London. He even went so far as to blame Shepard's near death on Kaidan's cowardice and harshly scolded him for leaving her behind as he trotted his sorry ass back to the ship.

His father's words echoed in his ears.

"You abandoned your post and your Commander. After everything she fought for, after all the lives she sacrificed to save you on Virmire, after the hell she went through to fight an enemy everyone denied existed, you left her to die. I didn't raise you that way, Kaidan. No son of mine would ever flee from a fight, leaving a superior officer to bleed out, just to hop back on her ship and fly away to safety. And you claim you love her. You don't leave the people you love to die, soldier."

Rage had flooded through Kaidan at his father's accusations and caused the usually incredibly self-controlled man to lash out and pin his father against the side of the ship with his biotics.

Ever since then, they rarely spoke.

Kaidan forced himself out of his painful reverie and brought his attention back to the present.

He finally answered Erin's question: "I'm not sure, actually. Hackett won't tell me anything until I get to Alliance Command. Probably some political bullshit that they're scared to talk about through comm in case it gets hacked."

He ignored her comment about his parents and she knew him well enough to know not to press the issue. Any mention of his father would surely result in a discussion about the war or Shepard. Every time Erin tried to get him to open up about what had actually happened at the beam, it ended in a heated argument with Kaidan storming out of their apartment and drinking his memories away at Purgatory.

Erin's soft hands gently touched Kaidan's arms. He peeled one eye open to look at her. She just gave him a slight smile as she placed a small metallic plate on the desk behind him. She grabbed a long rubber bandage to use as a tourniquet just above the bend of his elbow. The chill of an alcoholic swab over the vein in his forearm gave mild relief to the painful throb of his head as he anticipated the relief of medication. She picked up a syringe, pulled the protective covering of the needle off with her teeth, and held it steady in front of her blue eyes.

Flicking the needle a couple of times, Erin loosened any air bubbles that floated in the clear liquid. "When do you leave?"

He hissed as she delicately stabbed the needle into his arm and pushed the plunger.

"6."

Kaidan watched as the medication exited the syringe and emptied into his bloodstream. It would only be a matter of moments before sweet relief fought off his debilitating headache. There were some serious perks to dating a doctor, one of them being granted access to the highly regulated narcotic. He hated using the injection to quell his migraines, but it was the only medicine that had any effect whatsoever and eased the pain.

He already felt the numbing effects of the medication begin to work its magic.

"So soon? I was hoping I'd have time to give you a proper farewell."

A smile teased at her lips as she released Kaidan's tourniquet. She pulled one end of the rubber band back tight and abruptly let go, causing it to snap against Kaidan's bare chest. A red mark instantly appeared just above his left nipple.

Kaidan gave her a sly smile as he jumped out of his chair and wrestled the band from Erin, eliciting a squeal of mock fear from her pretty lips. He bent down and lightly brushed his mouth against hers as he wrapped a strong arm around her waist. She walked backwards towards the bed, dragging the Major with her, and pulled him on top of her.

He nuzzled his face in the crook of her neck, softly nipping at the sensitive skin, and she moaned his name. Her feminine scent wrapped around him and blanketed him with the sweet aroma of her fruity shampoo mingled with her natural smell.

It was a pleasant smell, and yet, there was something wrong about it that he just couldn't quite place. It was too clean, too safe, hinting at a life filled with the monotony of a mundane life free of any fighting, the threat of death, or the shame in defeat. It was a scent that Kaidan had a difficult time understanding; his entire life had always been shrouded by war and its consequences. He didn't know what it meant to live a safe, ordinary life as Erin had.

Even as he lost himself inside of her, Kaidan couldn't ignore the unwelcomed name that crept into the recesses of his mind.

Shepard.

He had blocked his thoughts of her for the better part of 3 years after she cut off all contact with him. He wouldn't allow himself to be tortured by memories long dead. Hell, for all he knew, she had died. So why couldn't he seem to get her, or her deliciously distinctive scent, out of his head?

Major Alenko hesitated in front of the conference room door, his hand lingering on the handle. He took a deep breath as he tried to settle his nerves. No matter how long they had now been working together, having a personal debriefing with Admiral Hackett always made Kaidan feel like a schoolboy who was sent to the principal's office.

He silently cursed himself for being so anxious. He hadn't done anything wrong, the galaxy was safe from any significant threats- he had nothing to worry about.

His cheeks puffed out as he expelled his breath. He quickly adopted his stoic military facial expression and pushed the door open. Instantly, he was greeted with the bitter scent of cigar smoke that left the air hazy and stung his eyes. He coughed twice at the unexpected inhalation of the thick smoke before he fanned the cloud away with his hand.

Across the room, Admiral Hackett sat with his face buried in datapads that littered his desk. A lit cigar lay unattended in an ashtray, its orange embers slowly dying out. Kaidan noticed how much the man seemed to have aged over the past few years; his face was thin and taunt, wrinkles spindled throughout his skin, and his purple scar glared angrily against the paleness of his complexion. His hat did little to cover the thinning hair.

It was odd seeing the Admiral so… human. He was in a state of vulnerability that Kaidan had never thought possible. Admiral Hackett was a man of legend and always appeared to be larger than life, often idolized by citizens and Alliance soldiers alike. It sent a shiver down the Major's spine as he contemplated what could possibly be disturbing Hackett so much that the stress had visibly aged him in a matter of months.

"Admiral Hackett. You wanted to see me, sir?" Kaidan spoke softly so as to not startle the elder and greeted him with a salute.

Hackett tore his gaze away from his reports and looked at Kaidan with an indiscernible expression on his face.

"Major Alenko, thank you for coming here on such short notice." He gave Kaidan a slight nod to signify he could lower his salute.

"Yes, sir. What's the mission, sir?" Kaidan asked, unable to help his brow from arching.

Hackett stood up and slowly walked over to Kaidan. His walk had a newly acquired gait that pained Kaidan to see. Hackett's age was catching up to him and Kaidan couldn't be sure how much longer the Admiral had left.

"You may want to sit down for this, Major." He motioned to a seat nearby.

"Thank you, sir, but I would prefer to stand. I've been sitting down for hours while the shuttle escorted me here."

Hackett nodded absentmindedly, not really registering the words Kaidan had spoken. The older man's gaze fell on nothing in particular. Something was gnawing at him, and the Major fought the urge to shift nervously as apprehension built up in his gut.

"Sir?" Kaidan called out to him, bringing the Admiral's attention back to their meeting.

"Alenko, there's really no easy way to say this, so I'm just going to be blunt." He took a deep breath to prepare himself. "We found Shepard. She's highly unstable; she's a threat to herself and every person in this building. And she's demanded to see you."

Kaidan felt a strong pang in his chest that knocked the wind out of him at hearing Shepard's name. His heart stopped beating, leaving a hollow feeling inside of him. He felt his stomach fall to the floor, his vision tunneled, and the world around him starting spinning as he swayed slightly on his feet. He clenched and unclenched his fists as his mind fervently tried to wrap its head around what he had just heard.

"I-I'm sorry, sir, but I'm not sure if I heard you correctly. You…you said that… that… Sh-Shepard… she's here? Now?" Kaidan fumbled over his words, unable to form coherent thoughts.

"That's correct, Major. She's in the medical ward in a secure part of the facility. I'll fill you in on what little detail we have on our way there." Hackett started for the door, relying heavily on his cane for support.

Shepard.

She'd disappeared three years ago- completely fell off the radar as she went into hiding in the shadows of the galaxy. Where to, no one, not even Kaidan, had known. Many assumed she had died on the brinks of the universe, others speculated she had rejoined with Cerberus and taken over as their leader after she killed the Illusive Man.

Regardless, he knew better than to think they simply found Shepard. Shepard wasn't lost- she was running. And she wouldn't get caught unless she wanted them to have her.

And now she's demanded to see Kaidan.

What could she possibly want with him? His stomach flipped as he fought off a relentless wave of nausea. He hadn't heard from her in three years, and the two years before that had been riddled with harsh threats and a deep hatred she held for him.

The last words Shepard had ever spoken to Kaidan resonated within him.

"Kaidan Alenko, for your sake, I hope we never see each other again. Because I promise you- I swear to fucking God- I will fucking kill you if you so much as fart in my general direction. Even if it's the last thing I do, I will kill you."

So maybe she'd finally come back to fulfill her promise. Kaidan had long ago resigned to the fact that he would be deserving of the death his old Commander had promised. But why would she be at Alliance Command if she intended on killing him?

Nothing made sense to Kaidan right now. His mind was still frantically scrambling to collect itself after hearing the news on Shepard. He never thought he'd see her again.

What was going on?

Kaidan hadn't realized that his legs had carried him to follow the Admiral into the hall. His body was moving on its own accord as he surrendered control to his instincts. He heard the fuzzy words Hackett was speaking to him, but he wasn't able to distinguish a damn thing he had just said. The Major was still baffled by the entire situation he was now hopelessly stuck in.

He swallowed hard as he tried to pay attention to the words Hackett was saying, but it was to no avail. Kaidan followed the Admiral in silence, his mind preparing him for millions of different scenarios that could play out. None of which ended pleasantly for the Major.