Changes

'It has to go!' cried Lily Evans.

Ignoring Alice's pleas, Lily grabbed her scissors, held them until they were level with her chin, and cut.

All her life Lily had been complimented on her beautiful hair. Falling to her waist in loose curls, it was the colour of autumn. Or at least, that's what her mother told her. To the rest of the world, it was just ginger, nothing particularly creative.

Even so, the only compliments Lily had ever received were regarding her hair, 'Lily, your hair is beautiful,' or 'Your hair looks lovely, Lily.' Never 'Lily, you're beautiful,' or 'you look lovely, Lily.'

It was a rather backhanded compliment now that she thought about it. To call someone's hair beautiful meant that it was the only part of them that you thought was worthy of the word. Laurence had thought her hair was beautiful, it was the only time he used the word in reference to her. But he was gone, off doing god-knows-what with the slutty 5th year from Ravenclaw, which meant all reminders of him had to go too. Including her hair.

And now, most of it lay in clumps around her feet.

'Oh, Alice, what have I done?'

'I don't like it.'

'You and me both,' muttered Lily, thoroughly fed up with all this attention. She had just come down to breakfast, and already she'd had three people ask if she was dying, and another five assumed she had been the victim of a practical joke.

She cut her hair, for crying out loud, it's not as if she was parading around Hogwarts, dressed as Professor McGonagall with green skin and purple tentacles - although, that would probably be more acceptable.

'I don't like it,' repeated Sirius Black. 'The target's shrunk.'

'As usual, Sirius, I have no idea what you're talking about.'

'The target,' he said very slowly, as if he explaining a very simple concept to a particularly stupid child, 'for flicking bits of parchment, has shrunk. It used be the perfect size, and now... it just about touches your chin!'

'But that just means you have to improve your aim. It's like quidditch practice, but in lessons,' pointed out Peter.

Sirius grinned at that. 'That's a very good point, peter. I might have you to thank, Evans, when we win the house cup.'

Lily was about to express her outrage at her hair being used for target practice, in lessons of all places, when she was distracted by Alice asking for James' opinion.

'She looks no different to me,' came the reply.

Surprised by this, Lily switched her focus onto James. She wasn't under the impression that he still had feelings for her - not now, over a year after he stopped asking her out - but even so she couldn't help but be a little bit disappointed that James hadn't reacted at all. Working with him this year, Lily had come to think of him as a friend, and his opinion meant a great deal to her. Seeing his fierce loyalty to anything he regarded as his own, be it the boys, Gryffindor house, or the Chudley Canons, had only increased her admiration. She knew how much he hated lying to his friends, which is what made this all the more painful; he was being completely honest.

Lily looked up to find James gazing at her expectantly. Clearly he had been speaking while she had been pondering their friendship.

'Sorry, I missed that... what did you say?' she asked with a sheepish smile.

James rolled his eyes, but repeated his earlier statements, 'I said - now that you're kind enough to listen - that you don't look any different to me. Your hair's shorter, big deal.'

Lily's eyebrows rose at that.

'It is a big deal, James. My hair was the best thing about me. And now it's gone,' she looked mournfully at the remains.

James, however, looked like he was trying very hard not roll his eyes again.

'It's just hair, Lily,' he sounded impatient.

'This coming from the boy who cried when he ran out of shampoo,' interjected Remus, who had been surprisingly silent until this point.

Largely ignoring this (apart from stealing the sausage Remus was about to eat), James continued.

'It was pretty, yes, and soft, and it smelt pretty good, but it didn't define you, and it certainly wasn't the best thing about you. If anything, I prefer it like this. You don't have anything to hide behind, so now when I tease you, I can see you blush.'

Lily didn't know what to say. The rest of the group were exchanging knowing glances, but James wasn't finished.

'And when I make you smile, I can see your dimples. And I can see your eyes sparkling when you're trying to think of a witty comeback. Lily, your hair wasn't beautiful, no matter how many people said so. And anyway, since when have you needed anyone else's opinion? You've always defined yourself, not given a passing thought to anyone else's idea of how you should act, so what's changed? If this is about that idiot Laur-'

'James. This isn't about him.' James raised his eyebrows.

'Well, it started out being about him,' she amended, 'but it's not anymore.'

'Good,' said James, sternly. Then his expression softened, and almost tenderly he continued. 'Lily your hair didn't make you beautiful. YOU make you beautiful. You make everything beautiful,' he ended, in a whisper.

Lily didn't know if she was even capable of speech at this point. Alice and Remus were carrying out a too-loud conversation next to them, having clearly heard everything, while Sirius and Peter were scanning the Great Hall for other potential targets for parchment-flicking.

After a pause Lily looked up at James and smiled.

The intensity of his gaze left her in no doubt of his true feelings. The sincerity of her smile told him what she wasn't ready to admit to herself.

Either way, things were changing.

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