Forgiveness Isn't Heart Shaped

By: M14Mouse

Summary: Sam kept finding them. Gabriel kept giving them. And it all must come to ahead at some point.

Disclaimer: Don't own them.

Love_bingo prompt: Forgive me

At first, Sam thought that the cleaning lady missed it during her rounds. Hell, he almost missed it. He dropped his bag and dropped his body onto the bed. He sighed softly onto the pillow. It was actually soft and not mushy like many of the motels that they stay at. He frowned when he saw something out of the corner of his eye. He lifted up his head and frowned. He reached over and picked it up from the pillow

It was one of those candy hearts. The ones with saying on them like Be Mine or Kiss me.

This one said Forgive Me.

He frowned slightly. That was kind of strange to get on a sweetheart. Maybe, it was a new one. Few years back, they went around changing all of the sayings making them modern. They also changed the taste…those things taste awful. He shrugged. He glanced around for a moment then stopped the trash can. He threw it in the trash can and then laid his head back on the bed.

Maybe, he should get up and take the first shower before Dean finished flirting with the check in lady.

Sounds like a good idea to him.

-SPNSPNSPN-

The second time that he found one was when he was brushing his teeth. He just looked and there it was on the sink.

It was pink this time…the bold letters of Sorry was printed on it.

He frowned slightly.

He had a feeling was something was up but he didn't want to pin point anything yet. It was the day after Valentine. He didn't want to know about the people who used the room before them.

He shivered slightly.

Bad mental image just popped into his head and he wanted out now.

"Dude! I wanna take a shower before check off. Move it!" Dean's voice shouted from behind the door.

"Coming! Coming!"

-SPNSPN-

Then he found them in his bag, in his coffee, and even in his wallet.

Saying the same thing over and over again.

Forgive Me or Sorry.

At that point, he knew where the sweethearts were coming from.

A part of him wanted to ignore it. He just wanted attention and he wasn't about to give it to him. Another part of him wanted to confront him. To ask him.

He wanted to say so much. Not any of it was pretty. But he didn't want to chase away their few allies that they had.

So, he ignored them by throwing them in the trash.

He didn't look back once he did.

-SPNSPN-

After a few days, it stopped. A part of him was relieved by it.

He should know better. Really he should.

When he opened his bag, there were hundreds of sweethearts. He felt his teeth grind together. He took a deep breath. He was lucky that Dean went out to get breakfast.

"GABRIEL!" He shouted.

"Finally…I was beginning to think that you didn't like me," A familiar voice said from behind him. He turned on his heels to face Gabriel.

"What do you want?"

"I don't know…the candy kind of said it all."

"Forgiveness."

Gabriel nodded. For the longest, he just stared at him.

"Every time, I watched Dean die…I lost a part of myself every time. It was worse than watching the hell hounds tear him apart because I knew the next day…I would see it again and again."

"I know, kiddo. I know…I'm sorry. I was trying to get you ready for when Dean really did kick the bucket."

"Do you really? During the war up in Heaven, you watched your brothers die, how did you feel?"

He saw something flash across the angel's face.

"Their grace would slip through my fingers. I would hold on to them and feel them slip away. I…"

He watched as the angel shifted uncomfortable from side to side. When he didn't answer for him, he knew that he should.

"I could guess…Angry… Sadness…A Sense of Lost…Guilt. I could go on but you get the idea. Even with Dean being alive for two years, I feel it everyday. In the back of my mind, I could always sense the possible that he could just slip away without me looking. Sometimes, I lay awake just to watch him."

He laughed bitterly.

"That sounds like I am some stalker. Funny thing is…I don't really care."

His throat tightened up. He took a deep breath to force the emotions down. He couldn't let the emotions eat him up again. He has already been down that path. He won't do it again.

"Look…I know that you working with us now. I…thank you for that."

"You asked me too, kiddo."

"I did…but as you noticed…we don't have that many allies."

"A guy in a wheelchair, you two…and my brother. We are the regular Mickey Mouse Club."

Despite himself, he laughed.

"Dean called us Team Free Will."

"…Well…it could be worse."

He was right. It could be.

"Gabriel…all that I am asking for is time. I will forgive you."

"That is all I asked."

"But right now, could you do something for me?"

"What?"

"Could you get rid of the candy for me? I don't want to explain it to Dean."

"Come on…a little candy won't hurt anyone…"

"A little?"

"Well…you better be glad that I went with this idea then my other one…"

"Which was?"

"I had the idea of a dancing midget holding a box of chocolate. Oh…glitter was somehow involved."

He brought his fingers to his nose and rubbed it.

Thank god that he changed his mind. He didn't want to have to explain that to Dean or anyone.

End

A/N: A friend asked to write a Sam/Gabriel fic. Since I am not a fan of the pairing, but up to challenge, I decided to write it. Well…It turned out interesting. –shrugs- read and review if you wish.