Disclaimer: House, MD and its entities are the property of David Shore, FOX and Universal Media Corporation. This story is for sole entertainment purposes and no copyright infringement is intended.

It was a typical day in the ER of Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. Doctors were scrambling around taking care of the latest screaming, coughing, moaning patients nestled on the gurneys situated throughout the ER. Yet, the most unusual sight to behold was House in the ER. However, he wasn't working….just hiding from Cuddy which is his customary position whenever he doesn't have a case. He was sitting on a swivel chair in front of the ER desk, reading a magazine and sucking on a red lollipop.

As House's engages in one of his favorite past times…avoidance, Chase enters the ER, notices House and says, "How much longer until you think Cuddy finds you here?"

Looking at his watch House takes out his lollipop and replies," I give it another five minutes…in which case I will already be outta here. She usually searches the clinic rooms first. Then she makes her way down here." He then thrusts the lollipop back in his mouth.

"God forbid you actually assist in the ER for a change." Chase quips with a smile.

"That would require me to exert myself; and since I haven't had lunch yet, that's out of the question." He remarks as he swivels around once on the chair giving Chase an impish look.

Chase smiles, shaking his head, and walks away. House goes back to reading his magazine, but his attention is pulled in the direction of a young girl about twenty in a bed just in front of him. He listens to the diagnosis ER doctor Don Douglass is making.

"We've been getting a lot of flu cases here. We'll keep her on IV fluids for an hour or so and you can take her home." Douglass says.

Not convinced by the diagnosis, the mother of the girl speaks up, "I don't think it's the flu. She has colitis and I think this could be part of the problem. It's been three days and she's weak."

'Well, yes the colitis could be part of the cause along with the flu. It just has to run its course and she'll be fine." Douglass tries to reassure.

House then gets up and goes over to Douglass and the patient.

House asks Douglass," Can I see the file?"

Surprised Douglass remarks, "You? House this is just a boring case of the flu. Nothing mysterious here."

"Which is clearly why I'm over here curious, especially since I know you have a lazy track record here in the ER when it comes a diagnosis. How many patients have I seen come back? Five? Ten?" House quips.

Douglass presents the file to House. But before he takes it, House hands Douglass his lollipop and magazine.

Perusing the file House asks the patient," You have a sore throat or a cough?"

"No." She answers.

"How about runny or stuffy nose?" He questions.

"No." She answers.

"Body aches?" He wonders.

"No. None at all." She answers.

House looking at the file says, "Clearly you have no fever according to Dr. Douglass' meticulous notes." He looks at Douglass and says, "Good to know you were competent enough to establish that." Douglass rolls his eyes at House.

House continues the questioning," You tired?"

"For the last three days. Of course I haven't been able to eat or drink anything really." She tells House.

The mother adds," She's not vomiting. It's just that she can't keep anything…in."

"Lot of crap coming out. Got it." He ponders a moment and says, "Funny, that seems to fit most of the ER docs here." He looks at the girl and says, 'Except the crap comes out of their mouths." Gesturing to Douglass he jokes, "Especially this one's."

"You're an ass." Douglass says to him annoyed.

"So I've been told." House retorts looking at him. Then, with mock sarcasm, House says to Douglass, "Clearly, all the symptoms point to the flu. At least the imaginary ones do."

"House even you know not all the symptoms of the flu present." Douglass tells him.

"I know. I went to med school too. I also know that dehydration and fatigue could be causes of something underlying other than the flu. Guess you were sleeping during that course." House jokes.

Looking at the patient and then Douglass, House instructs, "Admit her. "

"You're not going to find anything." Douglass tells him.

"Well you won't mind me humoring myself then to avoid Cuddy." House takes his lollipop from Douglass puts it in his mouth, takes the magazine and turns around to see Cuddy standing right behind him giving him a condescending look.

On her look House says, "Sorry. No afternoon gynecological exam in your office today. I have a case." She rolls her eyes as he exits the ER.