Summary: You can move on, but you can't escape the past. Blood is, after all, thicker than water. Character study of Ashley Seaver, based on season 6, specifically episode 6.10 What Happens At Home. Takes place before she joins the FBI/BAU. Also explores the Rossi/Ashley father/daughter relationship I'm so fond of.

Thicker Than Water

It started before she was old enough to comprehend what was going on.

She doesn't really remember her mother – her mother passed away some time when she was very young, and when she does do some research, she discovers that the cause was due to illness.

She lets out a sigh of relief, that her mother wasn't one of the victims.

But her mother's death was the trigger.

Her father kills 25 women before she is a teenager, before she turns 13.

She never saw the killings take place, but she remembers seeing some of the faces, remembers the chills crawling up her spine and the deep sinking feeling in her stomach as she watches the news.

Her father sits calmly, watching with her, and doesn't respond or say a word except to put her in his lap and tell her solemnly that the world is a bad place, and no harm is going to come to his little girl.

But Ashley is already breaking, and there's nothing she can do to stop it.

Somewhere in the middle of all the madness, the FBI arrive on the scene.

She remembers Agents Aaron Hotchner and David Rossi showing up at her elementary school to talk to all the kids, to inform them of what was happening, and then asking to speak to all the children with single parents, individually, with the presence of the homeroom teacher.

She remembers sitting in a chair, looking across the table to Agent Rossi, who says, "Hello Ashley. I'm Supervisory Special Agent David Rossi. Can I ask you a few questions?" At his earnest face, she nods hesitantly.

The interview goes by quickly. Agent Rossi doesn't ask too much, just a couple questions about her mom and then a few about her dad and how she's doing. When the interview's over, Agent Rossi thanks her, giving her a warm smile that her father never gave her, and tells her that if she remembers anything else or has anything else that may help them, she knows where to find them. As she leaves, she feels… lost. She doesn't quite know how to make of this feeling, much less describe it.

It's a strange feeling, this yearning for something she doesn't even know.

The next day, two women disappear and three more bodies are found in different parts of the state.

Ashley is scared – this has never happened before. It's usually been one or two women at a time, and she feels sick to her stomach, horrified at what is happening. She can't even look at the pile of gifts her father brought her – various school supplies, some chocolates, a couple books she's been wanting, a bicycle – without feeling faint, sick, disgusted, so many emotions they're painful and threatening to overwhelm her.

It doesn't help that Agents Hotchner and Rossi have been staying around her school, still talking to kids.

The day after, Ashley arrives at school, unaware of how pale and shaken and terrified she looks.

Agent Rossi pulls her aside during recess and asks if she's all right, is she sick, is there anything they can do?

"I'm scared," She whispers, unaware of how her eyes are filled with fear and too much darkness for someone so young, and how her body is trembling slightly.

"Ashley, where does your father work?" Agent Rossi suddenly asks, startling her out of her thoughts.

"At home," She answers, confused.

Agent Rossi signals to Agent Hotchner, who leaves the school with a couple other agents and police cars. Meanwhile, Agent Rossi takes Ashley to the police station, and they sit in an empty room with comfortable chairs, watching the news on the television while they wait.

"He just couldn't stop," She admits shamefully, and Agent Rossi doesn't say much after that, listening to her ramble on about her observations as she voices her fears, and after that, it's silent for a while until he asks if she's hungry and if she would like something to eat and/or drink. She vaguely remembers eating goldfish crackers and sipping juice and water.

The FBI brings her father in a couple hours later.

Her father looks at her, looks past her, and says fiercely, "No harm is going to come to my little girl."

She remembers bursting into tears, sitting and watching as they take him away.

She's never been so terrified before, seeing this side of her father that she's never seen, hoped to never see.

Later, she tells Agent Rossi, "He said once, that the day he was arrested would be the happiest day of his life, because it would mean he'd be stopped. I didn't know what he meant at the time."

She cannot stay in North Dakota, not after everything that's happened. The FBI relocate her, move her to live with a distant aunt in Rhode Island, and change her last name to Seaver, her mother's maiden name.

She grows up in relative normalcy, although she feels she's missing something (many things). Even though she starts over in a completely new place, the shadows of the past cling to her and refuse to let her forget.

She carries scars with her that will never heal.

She still wakes up screaming sometimes, shaken, trembling, gasping, shuddering. She'll sit, huddled in her bed, wrapped in her blankets, curled up in a ball, all too aware that she is alone with nothing but the silence and shadows for company. The dark she can handle, but the silence is something else. It is the fact that she is lonely, that she is all alone, that she has no one that she can trust or rely on, that bothers her and scares her like nothing else.

It is by chance that she finds the card.

And she remembers that last day, as the FBI agents brought (escorted) her to Rhode Island, Agent Rossi gave her his business card with his personal cell phone number and a hardcover copy of his new book (signed, autographed, with a personalized message to her) and said, "Call me if you ever need anything."

For some reason that she doesn't know, she tucked the card away in the book, holding it to her like a lifeline.

But that was then. This is now. She's seventeen, for goodness' sakes. She's in her first year of college (she was always smart, so it's no surprise that she graduated high school early), studying criminology and law (enforcement).

Her fingers are trembling as she finds the book and opens it, finds the card tucked in its pages, and musters all her courage to pick up the phone and dials.

It goes straight to voicemail, and a cold monotone answering machine gives her instructions on how to leave a message.

Swallowing the disappointment, she leaves a message before she knows what she's doing, the words spilling out like an open dam, just like she did in the police station 5 years ago.

"Um. You probably don't remember me, and this might not even be your phone number anymore. I-I'm Ashley Seaver. You gave me your card and told me to call if I ever needed anything. I-I don't know why I kept it." She rambles on for a couple minutes until she realizes that somehow, she started talking about things completely unrelated to… she can't remember. She hastily apologizes, hanging up and calling herself every kind of idiot.

But she'll admit to herself, that that phone call made her feel better.

Her phone rings at 3 in the morning, waking her up from a world of nightmares and bloodshed.

She doesn't recognize the number. But she picks up, sleepily mumbling as she forces herself into wakefulness, "Hello?"

And a warm, familiar voice says casually, as if no time has passed, "Hello Ashley. How are you?"

And she knows everything will be all right.

Fin.