A/N: Please forgive the sloppiness. I sat down and wrote this in one go, and it is part of a much larger fic that I'm waffling on writing. There are so many awesome Sherlock writers out there and so VERY many TRF fics that I'm afraid mine will not stand out much at all. Suspect I'm crap at writing for this Fandom, but you can blame my friends for pushing me to write it *laughs*
A/N2: Originally posted at ElJay March 14, 2012
Disclaimer(s): Alas, I do not own BBC Sherlock of any characters therein. That is solely the pleasure of S. Mofftat, M. Gatiss and the BBC Networks. Just having a bit of fun - no money made, please don't sue.

So Alone

He tried to remember: One foot in front of the other. Breathe deeply, evenly -

When did my life become this?

try to not make every movement mechanical. Keep it loose, keep it steady.

Get a grip, Johnnie

He stopped answering his phone. There was no point anyway. Even got one from Harry - resisted the urge to call back and ask her what pub she was in. It would be pointless and mean and -

"You...you machine - sod it, I'm going -"

Breathe.

He didn't go to the funeral. That would be pointless and mean as well. Too many reporters, too much of everything. The funeral would either be packed full of people who were perfectly happy he was dead...or those sad few that weren't.

"I don't have friends -"

Which would be him and Mrs. Hudson...maybe Molly...maybe Mike.

Lestrade would be too busy. Wasn't going to be able to bail out of this one - was likely docked, sacked - career tanked because of -

Mycroft would probably be working. Wouldn't do to acknowledge a brother who had embarrassed him not once, but twice; he would be too busy (for quite awhile) cleaning up the ramifications of 'fraud' and 'brother of' with his contacts and coworkers

"Mycroft is the government"

to stop to mourn a man he had helped destroy.

Arrogance had gotten them both into this mess. But it had killed Sher-

Breathe.

"You machine- "

But who was worse? Mycroft for putting him in the line of fire, or John for leaving him to it?

"- I've only got one."

Tea was cold.

"Please...would you do this for me?"

John closed his eyes.

It had finally stopped raining...