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"Wait for me, Niki." Claire instructed to her dog lying in the boot of her Landy. When the Boerboel didn't even raise her head to acknowledge the order, instead just grunted, Claire rolled her eyes and shook her head at her pet's laziness.

Rounding the corner she raised her hand and knocked on the door, trepidation from the scene she'd been a witness to souring her mood.

"Enter!" came the voice from inside and she did so.

To an unwelcome and truthfully not-so-unexpected sight.

"You're leaving?" wide eyes stared at him as he packed his backpack.

"Yeah, in one hour. Wanted to come tell you after I've packed."

"Wh... But... but..." her lower lip trembled, but Harm didn't see it because he was busy with his work. I can't believe this...

"How long will you be gone?"

"I don't know, it's hard to tell with these things." Harm shrugged as he finished up.

"Oh." her voice was small and weak and only now Harm realized there was something wrong.

His eyes widened when he saw how distraught she looked. In the time he'd known her he'd only rarely seen this strong, determined young woman look so lost and so small. As with many times with women before he had a feeling he was missing something, something important and it wasn't the first time in his life that he cursed the fact that women and men operate on different wavelengths.

Stopping what he was doing he gave her his full attention "What's wrong?"

She just jerked her head in denial of what Harm didn't know, but to his horror he could see tears start brimming in her bright eyes.

"Claire?"

Observing her carefully he knew the second she made up her mind. Her eyes cleared, her face smoothed out, her lips set in a determined line. She'd made up her mind, but he didn't know on what.

He was quickly clued-in though, when Claire stepped toward him, grabbed him by the lapels to drag him down to her eye-level and pressed her lips to his. Shocked to the core, Harm stood there like a stone, unable to either break away or reciprocate, but there was not enough time anyway as the kiss was over almost as soon as it began. The next thing he saw after he blinked was Claire's back as she ran out of his room.

His brain had frozen solid, no neuron was available to figure out what had happened.

Claire had kissed him.

Why?

What did it mean?

Why now?

That second a visceral knowledge imprinted on his mind: it didn't matter what Claire had done or why, what mattered right then was that he stopped her from leaving because he knew with absolute certainty that if she left, nothing would ever be the same between them again, and not as an improvement. Definitely not an improvement.

Forcing his body into action he dashed through the door that had been left open in Claire's wake, just in time to see the girl herself slam closed the door of her Landy.

He had just enough time to throw himself on the car's bonnet as it's driver had already fired up the engine to drive away. No matter how distraught and upset she was over his reaction or him in general he knew she wouldn't risk hurting him.

"Claire, stop!"

Peering at her through the windshield he was shaken to see those beautiful eyes red, face blotchy as a torrent of tears streaked down newly-pale cheeks.

"Turn the engine off and we'll talk."

"Go away, Harm! Please, let me go." Claire shook her head, eyes pleading with him to just let her get out of this with at least a bit of her dignity in tact.

Sensing her owner's distress and the growing tension, Niki jumped off the bed and rounded the truck, growling.

Harm glared at her, he didn't have the time or the patience to deal with this too.

"You, sit!"

To Claire's immense astonishment Niki immediately obeyed, intimidated, as she whined gently. Harm didn't waste his attention on the animal, though, he turned it immediately back on the young woman sitting in the idling vehicle.

"Now, are you going to turn that engine off or are we going to stay like this for the rest of the day?"

Reluctantly, Claire nonetheless killed the engine.

"What do you want from me?" she cried out, barely holding on to her emotions as she was living her nightmare.

"I want you to tell me what that was all about." her friend stated with conviction as he let go of the hood and straightened out.

"What was what about?" Claire tried to evade, humiliated.

"That kiss back in my room."

No longer could the young woman's broken heart be denied as her agony spilled out in a cry "Why do you want to talk about it? You're leaving with her! You're going back to America."

That stopped Harm in his mental tracks.

"What?" his brow furrowed with confusion "I'm leaving with whom?"

Claire glared at him, wiping tears from her eyes "Don't you bloody dare play with me! You know bleedin' well whom I mean."

Harm blinked, in the 18 months he'd known her she'd never used such language, nor in such a heavy accent. Then again, he'd never seen her this upset before... Then it struck him just what she'd said.

"Oh." he stuttered, stupefied. Claire was JEALOUS? Of MAC of all people? What did it mean? Did it mean what he thought it meant? And why would she be? There was nothing to be jealous over...

In that moment Harm rued the fact he was so oblivious and dense when it came to women.

"Where did you get that?"

The question had the opposite effect of the one he wanted as Claire cried harder "You said you're leaving in an hour!"

"Yes, I am, but why would that mean I'm leaving with Mac?" he repeated gently, trying to get to the bottom of this.

"Well, she's come for you and she obviously wants you back. And I saw you two today... the way she touched you and you letting her..."

Aahhhh... NOW the clouds cleared for Harm and he smiled reassuringly as he rounded the car to the driver's door and opened it.

Taking the fair-haired girl by the hand he gently pulled her out to stand before him.

Everything clicked into place. While he would've considered such a reaction overblown in any other case and that woman the hysterical type, he could understand Claire's anxiety. If he had chosen Mac that would mean leaving Namibia and everyone he meant something to. In Claire's case, not only would she know he'd begun a relationship with another woman (in other words, losing him to another woman, possibly forever), but it would also mean losing him for good because he'd be leaving Namibia and moving back to the States. With the heartbreak she had to be experiencing, the fear of abandonment stemming from her parents' deaths, betrayal after she'd let him past her barriers and knowing of his past with Mac, it was no wonder her conviction and belief in him had weakened for a moment to let the doubts take over.

"I didn't let her, Claire, she took that right herself, but I immediately moved away. And about me leaving... it's not what you think, honey. We've received reports about a suspicious group from some villagers. We're heading off in one hour and will be out until we find them, which could take days, that's why I was packing."

Claire froze, then wiped the tears away slowly, her gaze still wary "Really? You're not going back to the States with Mac the SuperMarine?"

Harm let out a laugh of relief "No need to worry, Claire, I'm staying. No Sarah MacKenzie will ever get me to leave this place, much less go back to DC to be their slave."

He grew serious then "Mac's in the past and that's where she'll stay. THIS is now my life, Claire," he stared deeply and meaningfully into her teary gaze, spreading wide his arms to indicate their surroundings "HERE, not in DC. I love what I do here, I've come to love Africa, people here are important to me, I'm even starting to like that beast over there."

Niki perked up at hearing his nickname for her, but opposite to all the other times he'd called her that, she rose, her head down and tail between her legs as she slunk over to him, licking his hand, before laying down in the dirt at his feet.

Harm and Claire both looked at her astonished.

"I dare say the feeling's mutual." Claire smiled tremulously, relieved that the two most important people in her life finally got along.

"So, this is where I went wrong with women..." Harm wondered aloud, observing Niki's change of behaviour towards him ever since he'd snapped at her, been dominating.

Claire evil-eyed him "Don't start getting ideas."

Harm smirked back, eyes twinkling mischeviously, but soon losing when Claire dropped her gaze, unwilling to meet his.

Horrified, now knowing the real situation, she moaned "Oh, god, I made such a complete fool of myself! Can we please forget that ever happened?"

At any other time and with any other woman Harm would've gratefully agreed, but he was sure it was too late for that now "No, I don't think we can, Claire. I know I don't want to. I think I know you well enough to know you wouldn't do something like that unless you really meant it."

Claire fastened her eyes to her fingers as they nervously played with each other. Her inability to meet his gaze confirmed Harm's suspicion. Instead of insulting her by doubting she knew what she was feeling was real he instead asked something he considered more important.

"When?"

She didn't pretend she hadn't understood the question "I don't know, I became aware around the time with that hyena."

"So long?" Harm couldn't keep the wonder and surprise from his voice as Claire referred to an incident 10 months in the past.

He struggled to find something to say for almost a minute, acutely aware of the awkwardness rising exponentially.

Finally the only thing he could say was as he shrugged helplessly

"Why?"

"Why?" Claire repeated dumbfounded.

"Why me?" Harm elaborated, then frowned when Claire looked at him as if he was crazy.

"Why you?'" she repeated slowly, visibly restraining herself from reaching up to feel his temperature.

"You because you're you." she finally snapped, after realizing he really was that clueless "You because of all the things because of which we became and grew as friends. You not because of your strengths or even your weaknesses, but because of both, of the entire package. Even because of this cluelessness that made you ask that stupid question."

"Huh." Harm muttered, his shoulders drooping in confusion.

"Yeah." agreed Claire, then hurried to supply "Look, don't feel obligated just because you know how I feel. I told you because you forced it out of me. We can just leave it like that and go on as if it never happened."

"No woman ever said that to me before." Harm responded in a way that made it look like he was ignoring her words, but Claire quickly realised the opposite "They all wanted me for something I could offer them. Either a man in uniform with shining medals to make them look good, or a lawyer for lover due to prestige, or for money... or even a fallback guy in case they screwed up every other relationship... No woman I've ever been involved with has wanted me for me."

Claire was filled with sorrow and compassion at her tall friend's surprise over her confession and reasons. Harm probably hadn't intended, but not only had he revealed how many mistakes he'd committed in his love life, but also how badly he'd been hurt.

"Harm," she began gently, touching his forearm "I know you weren't ready to hear this and even though you want to talk about it, I can see you're struggling. Go on your mission and take care of yourself, don't let yourself think of anything but the mission. When you're ready to talk you know where to find me, I'm not going anywere."

That seemed to shake Harm out of whatever stupor he'd been in "No! Look, just give me a minute. This was so sudden and I never expected it. I'll try to work it out and you tell me if you understand what I'm trying to say. Okay?"

Claire couldn't resist those beseeching eyes even if she wanted to. They did need to work this out before Harm left because Harm couldn't afford to be distracted while trying to find those pochers. She didn't want him to die and she especially didn't want to be the reason for such a catastrophic occurrence.

"Go for it."

"Okay." Harm did some frantic thinking, trying to pull some coherent thoughts together "All things considered, I assume our age gap doesn't bother you?"

Well, at least he'd managed to put it diplomatically, something he was proud of himself for.

"You would be right." sighing, Claire shrugged and swatted her blonde locks from her eyes, the wind coming to life "I admit, when I first realised it, I felt slightly unsettled. But then I discovered that wasn't my own prejudice, but that of the society I grew up in. That left only the fact that we're both adults and respect each other, nothing else is important."

Harm nodded thoughtfully. While he himself was still dealing with doubts regarding this topic, it was admittedly because of how it concerned his friend and hopeful partner. She was still young, she could have any young man she wanted, a young man without Harm's baggage, with a strong, healthy back and one that wouldn't leave her behind so soon when his number was up. And a young man with a lot safer job than Harm's.

He could try to talk her out of it, but that would be disrepecting her and belittling her feelings. One thing was for certain: Claire wouldn't have acted on them if they weren't genuine and she definitely wouldn't be so at peace with them and herself.

She was so unlike any woman he'd ever been involved with. An incredibly strong person, having survived the slaughter of her family, yet also incredibly sensitive, both in tune with her emotions as well as empathic with others' pain. Her almost childlike capacity for excitement and wonder intervowen with seriousness of a mature adult was just one of the traits of the female Namibian that had fascinated him even during that first brief meeting.

But she was so much younger, despite everything still so youthful that he had forced himself to think of her as only a younger sister, instead of the vibrant, attractive young woman that she was. She also made him feel every single one of his 41 years of age and that wasn't something he'd have an easy time getting over IF he gave her the chance she wanted, no matter how much it baffled him it was he that she desired.

But could he break her heart by rejecting her? He knew all too well that under that tough crust she portrayed to other people hid a gentle, soft soul, who gave her trust only to the person she believed had earned it. But when you earned it and she let you in, she opened herself fully and without reservation. Exposing herself to the possibility of getting hurt deeply. Could he do that to her?

Titus' words from last night came back to him, seeming nearly prophetic now and Harm regretted going to sleep without having come to a decision.

On the other hand, if he decided against hurting her and taking the chance for happiness with the woman who was nearly the embodiment of his perfect partner then he would be staying in Africa for good. He had selfish moments, but even with those he knew he could never bring himself to take Africa from Claire. If she left this place she would die, it was too much a part of her and he frankly couldn't imagine her anywhere but here. Africa was pure and simple. The US? No way. She belonged here.

Claire was Africa. Africa was Claire.

If he chose Claire he also chose Africa for good.

The answer was as plain as day. He'd already said as much to Mac and just a couple of minutes ago to Claire: THIS was now his life. THIS was now his country and THESE were now his people. He was no longer Commander Harmon Rabb Jr, American. He was Harm Rabb, Namibian, in everything but on paper.

That only left what he felt for the girl in front of him.

She was a friend, the best friend he'd had in decades, but could she be a lover? Could he imagine introducing her to people as "Claire, my wife" if he, against all odds, didn't screw up like he'd screwed up every good thing he'd had in his life?

And it wasn't as if he didn't like her... he did like her, a lot. She was smart, strong, selfless, had a big heart and fiercely loyal and protective of people she trusted. He cared about her a lot, she'd become important, essential, to him in this year and a half. But since he'd known she only saw him as a friend and maybe an older brother (just shows how much he'd known) and because he was so much older he hadn't allowed himself to entertain the option of their deepening friendship becoming more than just that.

Maybe he hadn't let himself fall in love with her, but he loved her, liked her, respected her and cherished her. His mother had once told him that the best relationships come from true friendships. He had no doubt that with this basis and his permission to his heart to finally start seeing her as a woman, love wouldn't be far behind.

They would need to go slow though, he wasn't willing to risk using her as a rebound from Mac and he needed to make sure they really had the firmest foundations before they took that irreversible step that would make them lovers.

There was nothing else to do or consider anymore really. Harm turned to the anxiously waiting young woman.

And smiled.

THE BEGINNING

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