Warning: Mild Language, Full credit to JKR and WB.

Password Reset
By WittchWay

Snape POV

Enraged Snape started to tear the parchment to pieces. Gabbing at them with his wand like some crazed loon. Strange sparks of magic ribboned around the scrapes of falling paper piecing each scrap back together.

It was some where around this point that I completely lost it. I was mad at Dumbledore, Hagrid, the four founders of this school, the parchment, I mean great Merlin's it could have waited till I was out of the room to re-stitch it's self back together.

So I stomped off, all I wanted to do was get back to the cool of the dungeons. Back underground where I felt comfortable. To sit in my chair and curse this damn school. To be in what little peace I was to have this summer.

Now I will warn you, what I did next made perfect sense. I may have had a few swigs of Odens fire whiskey at some point that fateful evening. And mixed with the early hour of the day, a brain and mind that was fogged with anger and blinded by sleep deprivation, what I did next seemed reasonable and sane. At the time. And it's not that I feel anger or even really mildly concerned over what I did next, It's the simple irritation that I was pushed to this point.

That Dumbledore forced my hand at the password reset each year.

It wasn't till a few days later at about 2:37 in the morning, standing in front of the portrait of the fat lady that lead in to the common room of Gryffindor did I actually put my plan into action. I stood there, a stack of parchment with the teachers neat handwriting clasped in my hands, endless passwords they wanted me to set up this year.

They wanted me to reset the passwords, I'll reset a password.

But before I go off on this little tangent.... Let me just explain briefly the process to you. Because it's not as easy as it sounds, I just can't walk up to a gargoyle and tap with my wand and go "oh and the new password is Jump". Oh no, no no no. It doesn't even bother me that there are 365 passwords at Hogwarts. 365.

It's a whole process of paperwork, I half to have the last password, tap with my wand and then give the new passwords the portrait, wall, gargoyle, private hall, suit of armor, hole in the floor, will need for the entire year. But it's still not that easy. There are 365 passwords, 115 are portraits, easy enough, 75 are gargoyles, 54 suits of armor, and the rest are miscellaneous. Do you know what miscellaneous means at Hogwarts? Do you have any idea.

No you don't. Wipe that smirk off your face.

Not only do I have to track down suits of armor that move about, or hallways that only appear at three A.M. on a Thursday when there's a full moon while I'm wearing green socks. I have to track down a hidden staircase that goes 412 steps into the ground, half submerged in murky water, that the merepeople use encase of emergency just to tell this damn hole in the ground the password is merepeople. Merepeople. The same damn password it's been for the last 700 years.

I have to track down pieces of furniture that goes visiting to other parts of the castle during the summer holiday. I have to curse it to come back to it position so that we can reset the password. (and my favorite ((sarcasm)) I have to walk to the tallest tower in the castle over 1000 tiny steps and a new one is added each year on the anniversary of the school, each one must be touched by my bare feet, no jumping ahead, while I wear my wizard hat, humming the Hogwarts song. to a trivet that no one has entered in 300 years, (except me) I have to go to the door and state my name and teaching position. Tell a secret thought which amazingly is not hard for me to do, Tap three times turn around and state the password to this dusty old door, as happy little fairies come fluttering at me with their little happy dust. Each year I swear to rip their little fairy wands from their tiny little arms and snap each and every wand. While they grace me with a bag of fairy dust that I am to give to the headmaster of the school. (I also believe headmaster is addicted to fairy dust but that is another story.)

So there I stood before the fat lady, she was eyeing me wearily. The same look she gave me when I was a student here and had tried with several friends to break into the common room.
I tapped her once with my wand, old password corpus, new password...I whispered it so low. She just looked at me unsure if she had heard me correctly.

I stood there a minute long waiting for her to accept the change. She looked up at me narrowing her eyes, "did Professor Mcgonagall approve that password".

I just stared at her and smirked, "of course she did it's right here on the parchment." I waived them in her face but not quite letting her look at them.

She just nodded looking a little frightened at my out burst. I smirked again and headed down the hall. Question me will she.

I ran down the hall to a suit of armor, the prefect's bath, the prefects private common rooms. Tapping away with my wand. whispering passwords in my wake. Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff common rooms changed to appropriate ...shall we say items.

Slytherins were easily amused as along as it wasn't a direct hit at there house and pride the password could be anything. And since I most likely was not going to have a job after this little incident, I made the password something I always wanted. It was amusing to say the least.

It wasn't until hours later as I was sitting in the great hall eating dinner on the first day of the students return did it occur to me what I did was truly wrong. McGonagall was handing out the passwords to the prefects and headgirls and boys, going up and down the tables fluttering to the others in that way she does totally unaware of the contents of the neatly folded passwords she handed out to students.

Unfolding the parchment that little evil girl Granger was up out of her chair running across the hall to McGonagall. McGonagall looked at the folded parchment and up at me. With Granger tagging behind her they made their way up the headmaster, I could hear her whispered shriek radiate down the table. Dumbledore looked down the table to me, I pretended to be looking at the ceiling, it was raining outside.

Dumbledore rose from his seat and headed down the table towards me. I had a urge to run but stayed my ground.

"Professor Snape I will expect you in my office in the morning for tea." he looked over the rim of his eyes glasses. Somehow I knew I would never be asked to change the passwords again which is all I ever wanted.

Maybe changing the Slytherin password to Dark Lord Supporter was a little much. or the Hufflepuffs to Half blood, Ravenclaw to Dunderheads, or Gryffindor to Voldemort return wasn't a good as it sounded hours ago in the wee hours of the morning. I'm a little surprised the fat lady of Gyrffindor didn't go running to McGonagall herself, but maybe she was to shocked.

******

I won't go to far into it but Dumbledore's "tea" wasn't exactly tea. It was a lecture which I had been prepared for. It was the out come that I had not been prepared for. Yes, I no longer had to change the passwords. It was decided upon that the teachers would rotate the change each year. It wasn't that I was threatened with suspension. Which I had half expected. But when Dumbledore turned and looked at me...it was like it was happening in slow motion, just like those action flicks at the cinema...the words "Counseling" hung in the air.

I don't think I ever laughed so hard in my life.

The End.

Thanks to everyone to reviewed.