8.11.12

okay so

um well I'm really sorry for the long wait for an update

but I want to let you guys know that school is starting this coming monday, and I'm gonna be really busy... plus I have to start working on college apps, because yes :O I'm going to be a senior in high school and it's time to start applying for college! I'm applying for early decision to.. somewhere... lol and I want to make that app as perfect as I can get it.

so yeah, I don't know how long it will be before the next update. :/ I did write part of the next chapter, which will be the honeymoon.. tehehehe

which is far more interesting than the wedding imo so I'll probably be more motivated to finish it

SORRY IF THIS CHAPTER IS BAD LIKE IT WAS ACTUALLY NOT FUN TO WRITE AT ALL and I'm not really happy with it but seriouslyyy wedding scenes are fucking boring imo

like honestly you can probably skip this chapter lol

ALSO

I like... sort of based the wedding very loosely off of traditional chinese weddings

OKAY ONE MORE THING

I don't want to treat sex as if it's some sort of sacred thing and that having sex before marriage makes you "impure"... because I personally don't believe that. So I didn't want to make Ursa some sort of person who tries to "stay clean and pure" and never thinks about sex or whatever... it's highly unrealistic when characters are never interested in sex until they meet "THE ONE" (50 shades of grey anyone?)

I mean unless the character is asexual but Ursa obviously isn't (and neither are any of the other characters who I've read in those types of stories)

like it's fine if you don't want to have sex until you find someone that you're devoted to and you're both happy together, but it doesn't necessarily have to be a spouse

and like I want to believe that the ATLA world is more progressive than our own (and from what I've seen I think it is, even if it's "traditional" times), where sex is no longer treated like something "sacred" or whatever. So I kinda wanted to make ursa's attitude toward it one of interest with a little apprehension, but not like "oooh I'm an innocent virgin and I' shouldn't have these wanton thoughts in my mind"

because that's dumb

YEAH that's all I wanted to say... I just wanted to let you guys know that that's the sort of attitude I had when writing this

it probably doesn't matter THAT much but I still wanted to say it

but anyway Ursa's never had sex anyway in my story because that would mean that she was involved with someone else before Ozai and THAT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE FOR MY OTP OK

THEY WERE MADE FOR EACH OTHER AND NO ONE ELSE CAN INTERFEREEEEEEEEEE

WAIT ONE MORE THING THIS IS THE LAST I SWEAR

okay I read some of your comments on sozin and roku and there were some things you brought to my attention that I didn't think of SO on my profile I will address those things... later... not right now because I'm lazy 8D

Ursa taps her foot, unable to keep still. She fidgets in her seat, much to the annoyance of Yin.

"Lady Ursa, you must be still," Yin says, sighing. "Otherwise I will have to start over, and this will be even longer than we planned. I know you are impatient, but it will be worth it. I promise."

"Sorry, Yin," Ursa mumbles. Impatient? "Actually, I'm nervous," Ursa admits, glad that Yin's the only one in the room with her. After much coaxing, Ursa had convinced her mother to allow only Yin to prepare her for the wedding. Too many bustling servants would only wear down Ursa's already frayed nerves.

There's a pause as Yin runs her fingers through Ursa's hair. "Why?"

I'm marrying the prince! Ursa wants to shout; of course she is nervous. But Yin - Yin is always calm. She never allows her emotions to overtake rational thought, a quality that Ursa sometimes wishes she had.

Ursa heaves a sigh. "It's just... somehow it seems so sudden, even though I've known him for so long... and there will be so many people watching, and - what if I trip, or I say the wrong thing - "

"My lady," Yin says soothingly, "you will be fine. All you need to do is pay your respects to the spirits. Everyone else will do the rest of the work. Besides," she adds, "you've got something to look forward to after the wedding."

"Yin!" Ursa protests, feeling her face heat up. She glares at Yin in the mirror, who is grinning.

"Ah, don't try to act innocent. Actually, my lady, I'm surprised that you've never - "

"I've told you," Ursa mumbles. "It's simply... the young men... they weren't..." She trails off, not really sure what she's trying to say. It isn't that she has never wanted to have sex; it's just that she can't bear the thought of doing it with the leering young noblemen of the court. A worry that has been nibbling at her for weeks rises to the surface. "What if I can't please him?" she whispers, too embarrassed to say it more loudly. What would Ozai be expecting of her?

"Lady Ursa," Yin says firmly, "you need to stop worrying. If he loves you then he will understand. And do not let yourself think about it too much - though I doubt that that will be a problem," she adds with a smile.

Ursa purses her lips, still unsure.

"Have you been taking the herbs?" Yin asks abruptly. "Every day?"

"Yes."

"Good."

Ursa shudders at the thought of what might happen if she didn't. She is far from ready to have children. "Thank you, Yin."

"Of course, my lady."

Hours later, Ursa finds herself being helped into a palanquin, the servants bustling around her. She settles into the cushions of the seat, trying to calm herself, and she's glad that her face is covered by a veil. Even if she does feel a bit ridiculous in it. And even if it does make it harder to see...

She tries to calm the wave of panic that wells up inside of her. She feels vulnerable, not being able to see properly. And though Yin has reassured her that there will be enough lights at the ceremony for her to be able to see through the thin silk veil, Ursa can't help but feel worried. Tripping in front of the entire Fire Nation - she'd humiliate both herself and Ozai.

Mei Fan would love that, Ursa thinks to herself. Sighing, she curls her hands into fists, tense.

"Good-bye, my dear!"

Ursa turns; her parents have pushed aside the curtain to bid her farewell one last time. Her mother is brimming with excitement; her father, filled with silent pride.

"Good-bye, mother. Father." Ursa's aware that this is the last time that she will be seeing them for a long, long time. Suddenly her throat is very tight, and she presses her lips together, feeling a hot burning sensation at her eyes. No, no. Crying will ruin her makeup.

"Ursa." Her mother leans in, lays a hand on Ursa's tense arm. Her voice is softer now. "Your father and I are very proud of you."

Ursa nods quickly, wanting them to leave. She mustn't cry. She mustn't. "I know," she says, her voice a little higher than normal.

Her mother gives her one last smile before both ducking out of the palanquin. Her father lingers for another moment. "Ursa - "

She's surprised to hear that he sounds choked up; he's the sort of man that rarely ever loses his composure. "Yes, father?"

"I - your mother said it all already, you've made us so proud. You have honored our entire family." He pauses, collecting himself. "I love you, my daughter."

Ursa swallows. "I - love you too, father."

He smiles. "You sound like you're going to cry."

"So do you." Ursa can't help but smile too, even as the tears threaten to spill over.

He laughs. "Don't, or you'll ruin all of Yin's hard work."

Ursa nods. "I know."

He reaches over and pats her hand. "Good-bye, Ursa."

"Good-bye, father."

With one last nod, her father steps away, pushing the curtain back into place, resealing Ursa from the rest of the world. She takes a deep breath. After today she will not come back.

There are lots of muffled voices from outside, but Ursa can't make out what any of them are saying. She tries to tune them out and focus on keeping her composure. Ozai is waiting for her. Despite herself, Ursa grins, feeling slightly giddy. She shakes her head. She's a terrible mess of emotions.

The palanquin suddenly lurches upwards, and Ursa's heart takes off in her chest - they're leaving. She stares straight ahead, knowing that it won't be long until they're at the palace, knowing that soon she'll have to step out in front of the crowd, and thousands of eyes are going to be on her -

There's music coming from somewhere outside, lots of loud, excited voices. Of course. For the citizens it's time to celebrate, time to enjoy themselves. Ursa closes her eyes and mutters a few prayers to the spirits, more to give herself something to do than anything else.

Far too soon, she feels the palanquin lurch to a halt. Unable to resist, Ursa peeks outside, knowing that they've stopped outside the palace gates. With a gasp she quick sits back, shocked - there has to be thousands of people outside already, and they aren't even within the palace gates yet -

She gives a tiny groan. All the splendor, the extravagance - it's incredible and borderline ridiculous. A nice, quiet wedding - that's what she would prefer. But of course there was no hope of that if she was marrying the prince.

The palanquin begins to move again, and now, as they are getting nearer, Ursa lets herself think about what is waiting for her at the end. No, not what - who. Prince Ozai.

Finally... the palanquin stops again, and this time Ursa knows that this time it's for good. Any second now - any moment -

Suddenly the curtains are pulled aside by a man, one she doesn't recognize... it must be one of the royal servants. "Lady Ursa," he says, and he bows with a sweeping flourish.

This is it. Ursa can see nothing but people, people, people, all staring at her. They must have filled the courtyard to the brim. Adrenaline surges through her veins as she steps out of the palanquin, and she forces herself to keep her head held high.

Murmurs spread through the crowd as she steps out, and Ursa's confidence is suddenly fueled by the fact that they can't see her face. She begins to make her way up the palace steps and focuses on not tripping - she frowns a little, they should have carried her on the palanquin up the steps - but then at the top she sees Ozai, and then she stops thinking.

His eyes are on her, and even through the veil she can tell that he's smiling more broadly than she's ever seen - and then she has to resist the terrible impulse to run up the steps to him. Suddenly she's very glad she's here, so glad that for a moment she doesn't even mind the ridiculous dress she's wearing and the terribly heavy hairpiece on her head.

When she finally reaches the top, she takes a deep breath, smiling. And then she takes a step towards him, and he offers her his hand, which she takes.

Still riding on the confidence that the veil has given her, she leans towards him so that only he can hear. "You look absolutely silly in that hat."

He raises an eyebrow. "It's traditional wedding wear."

"I know. But it looks silly."

He shakes his head, still smiling. "I'd love to say the same about you, but I'm sure you look lovely."

"I feel like my neck is about to snap in half," she mutters. "From this ridiculous hairpiece." She hesitates. "What now?"

"We wait. Stand by me."

Reluctantly Ursa turns to face the crowd. A sea of faces before her... lanterns strung up high, illuminating the court yard. And so she stands and waits.

There's Azulon, again. Just like before. He's talking, going on and on and Ursa shifts impatiently on her feet, waiting for him to finish. Finally Ozai gently tugs at her arm, and then he leads her to the altar that has been set up.

Pay your respects to the spirits, Ursa coaches herself, feeling mechanical. The crowd below is watching, and now only their low murmurs fill the air. She closes her eyes and whispers her prayers to the spirits, to Agni, thanking them. Who would've thought? she thinks. Who would have thought that she would fall in love with the prince?

She opens her eyes and glances sideways at Ozai. His eyes are closed, and he is murmuring something under his breath. She watches as he stops and takes a deep breath, then opens his eyes, glancing at her.

She turns towards him, straightening. Her heart is suddenly pounding loudly in her chest, each thud as loud as the beating of a drum. Then the real drums start, startling her, and the crowd is growing louder. Bow, she instructs herself, and together she and Ozai bow to each other.

And then he straightens and takes a few quick, eager steps towards her, closing the gap between them. She realizes just how impatient he's been throughout the entire ceremony. He's been waiting for this, waiting for her... his hand finds the edge of her veil and lifts it up.

She feels very exposed as the cool summer air rushes over her face, having gotten used to the privacy granted by the veil. She stares up at him, waiting for him to make the next move.

"I was right," he says, and Ursa knows that the entire crowd must be wondering what he's saying to her. "You do look lovely."

She doesn't say anything, can't say anything, as he leans in towards her. Part of her feels terribly uncomfortable at the thought they will kiss in front of all these people - thousands of people - but then when his lips meet hers she doesn't care anymore.

At this, the crowd lets out a roar, startling Ursa with its intensity. The kiss is brief, lasting only a few seconds, giving Ursa only a taste of what is to come later - her stomach twists in anticipation. The drums are beating faster now, and fireworks are suddenly exploding in the air, splashing the sky with color. On either side of the courtyard, from atop the palace walls, jets of fire are shooting up in sync. Squinting, Ursa sees that there are men - there must be dozens of them - performing, a brilliant display of firebending.

She and Ozai turn to face the crowd once more as Azulon steps forward once more. "Prince Ozai and Princess Ursa!" He raises his hands, sending his own great jets of fire into the night.

Ursa's sure that no one but she and Ozai can hear Azulon's words, but even then they strike her deeply. Princess Ursa. She turns to Ozai and decides that she doesn't care about ceremony anymore. "My lady - ?" he begins.

Ursa shakes her head and throws herself into his arms, closing her eyes, and finally lets herself cry.

IM SORRY I know it wasn't that good it was just... ugh I mean like I was really bored writing this which is not a good thing because that probably means readers will be bored too... I just... I don't think it's possible to make any sort of wedding scene interesting... lol.. and I kept it relatively short because I mean B-O-R-I-N-G!

but

okay the fun chapter is coming :D

it's just gonna be like... omgg I dunno just complete and utter urzai :D finally I can write it without bounds

maybe some smut ~ooh~