Note: The Death in this fic is Discworld!Death. I incorporated some elements from Discworld novels (e.g. Death talking in ALL CAPS, life-timers), but you don't really need to have read Discworld in order to understand this fic.

I don't own anything. Let's start!

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The first time Zoro saw Death, he was seven years old.

Against his father's wishes, he had gone swimming in the river. Back then he thought he was tough and knew everything.

Unfortunately, he didn't know how to avoid the rapids.

Zoro yelled as he was swept down the river, choking on the murky water. Water filled his whole world, rushing in his mouth, ensnaring his limbs….

WELL, WELL. WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE?

Through half-closed and glazed eyes Zoro beheld Death.

THIS IS NOTHING PERSONAL, YOU UNDERSTAND. I DO HATE TAKING CHILDREN.

Death readied his scythe. He lifted it, then stopped.

OH. HOW ODD. YOUR LIFE-TIMER APPEARS TO BE SHIFTING.

Life-timer? What? Zoro had enough time to think these thoughts before he was hauled out of the water.

"I told you," his father berated him as he whacked Zoro's back, hard. Zoro hacked up what seemed like an ocean of water. "I told you not to swim in the river, and what do you do? You go and swim in the river!"

Zoro coughed weakly and tried to erase the image of the robed skeleton from his mind.

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The second time Zoro saw Death was during the morning when Kuina died.

"She fell down the stairs," his friend sobbed. "She's DEAD!"

Out of the corner of his eye, Zoro saw Death leave the dojo.

He followed. "Hey, you."

Death turned. The ghastly sight of a hooded, grinning skeleton would have unnerved anyone but Zoro.

YOU CAN SEE ME? HOW ODD. WHAT IS IT, BOY?

"Give Kuina back."

I'M SORRY?

"I said, give Kuina back."

I'M AFRAID THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE.

"Why? You took her, you can give her back."

YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND. I DO NOT TAKE LIFE ITSELF. I COLLECT WHEN IT IS TIME, BUT I DO NOT KILL.

"But it's not fair!"

THERE IS NOTHING THAT STATES THAT LIFE HAS TO BE FAIR.

Death disappeared with a snap of bony fingers. Zoro swore to himself that he would never, ever, let anyone close to him go again.

"Sensei, may I have Kuina's sword?"

xxx

The third time Zoro saw Death was when he was a bounty hunter.

He had been floating on the sea for about a week now. His water had run out a few days ago.

So thirsty….

Zoro glared up at the blazing sun. Stupid. Why did everything happen to him?

YOU AGAIN?

"Go away," Zoro mumbled. "Seen enough of you already."

HOW IRREGULAR. YOUR LIFE-TIMER KEEPS ON CHANGING.

"Mmm? Life-timer?"

Death held out what looked like an hourglass. It was filled with sand, but that was the last bit of normalcy. Tubes and funnels spouted from the sides of the hourglass, sand running erratically through them. Zoro thought he saw some sand traveling upwards. He attributed it to heat stroke.

Death seemed to make up his mind. NOT YET.

"Eh?" Zoro groaned. God, it was hot….

YOU STILL HAVE TIME.

Death vanished. A few hours later, Zoro washed up on the shore of an island, where he drank so much water he thought he would burst.

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The fourth time Zoro saw Death was after his first fight with Mihawk.

Everything was disconnected, blurry. He perceived snatches of color and sound and the sensation of somebody frantically tending his wounds, but it all seemed far away….

OH FOR—NOT YOU AGAIN.

Unsurprised, Zoro gazed at Death.

YOU KNOW, THIS IS GETTING ANNOYING.

"Same for me," Zoro muttered.

EVERY TIME YOU ALMOST DIE, I'M DRAGGED HERE. I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF BREAKFAST, YOU KNOW.

"Breakfast?" He hadn't thought that Death could eat.

MY GRANDDAUGHTER WAS OVER.

"Granddaughter!"

YES.

Zoro decided that perhaps it was better not to ask.

AH. IT APPEARS THAT THE IMPROMPTU OPERATION WAS SUCCESSFUL. YOU WILL LIVE. FOR NOW.

"Er. Okay?"

I SUPPOSE WE WILL MEET AGAIN SOON.

Zoro sank into unconsciousness.

xxx

The fifth time Zoro saw Death, he was about to be turned into a wax statue.

DID YOU TRY TO CUT YOUR FEET OFF? REALLY?

Hello to you too, Zoro thought sarcastically. He would have talked, but his mouth was pretty much sealed shut.

I HAVE NEVER MET A MORE SUICIDAL HUMAN THAN YOU, RORONOA ZORO.

Thank you.

IF YOU DO DIE, YOU WILL MAKE AN INTERESTING STATUE.

You don't know if I'm going to die?

SADLY, NO. IT'S RATHER CONFUSING. IF I DID, THOUGH, I WOULD STOP SHOWING UP.

Zoro felt rather smug. After all, he thought as fire consumed the wax cake and he was freed, not every could say that they'd confused Death.

xxx

The sixth time Zoro saw Death, he learned how to cut through steel.

A SWORDSMAN? FIGHTING A METAL-MAN? Death sounded skeptical.

"Quiet," Zoro muttered. The rhythm of the trees, the rocks, the steel—it was pulsing through him.

He could sense no such rhythm from Death.

THAT'S RATHER RIDICULOUS, YOU KNOW. DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN DEFEAT HIM?

"Yes."

TRY NOT TO KILL YOURSELF.

Zoro unsheathed Wado Ichimonji as Daz Bones drew near.

"Shishi….Sonson!"

xxx

The seventh time Zoro saw Death was right after he had been fried by lightning.

"That hurts," he muttered.

OBVIOUSLY. YOU'VE BEEN ZAPPED BY A LIGHTNING BOLT. NORMALLY, HUMANS DON'T SURVIVE THAT KIND OF ORDEAL.

"Have to get up…." Zoro gasped. "Have to beat that Eneru guy!"

YOUR CAPTAIN CAN TAKE HIM. RUBBER DOESN'T CONDUCT ELECTRICITY, YOU KNOW.

"Right." Zoro collapsed, panting.

I'M SURPRISED HE HASN'T BEEN SMOTE BY NOW. PRETENDING TO BE A GOD IS A QUITE SERIOUS OFFENSE.

"Smote? By who?"

YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO KNOW.

"He'll win," Zoro murmured as he drifted into unconsciousness. "Luffy will win…"

OF COURSE HE WILL.

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The eighth time Zoro saw Death was when he was lying at the feet of Kizaru.

THIS IS GETTING OUT OF HAND. HOW MANY TIMES CAN ONE HUMAN ALMOST-DIE?

"A lot, apparently." Zoro was tired, so tired, but he had to keep going.

Death followed them as they ran from Kuma.

YOU'VE TAKEN A LOT OF DAMAGE TO YOUR INTERNAL ORGANS, YOU KNOW.

"I don't care."

AH. I SEE. THE "LIVE FAST, DIE YOUNG" APPROACH.

"Exactly." Zoro watched through half-closed eyes as Kuma drew near.

"If you were going on a trip….where would you like to go?"

xxx

The tenth time Zoro saw Death, he was dueling Mihawk.

Sparks flew from blades as the two titans clashed. The duel had been going on for hours now. Neither of them was willing to give.

"You've come a long way since I trained you, Roronoa," Mihawk intoned. He deflected Zoro's attack with a quick parry, then slashed.

"But still not good enough."

Zoro reeled back, panting…

IT'S BEEN A WHILE, HAS IT?

"Go away," Zoro gasped. "Trying to….beat Mihawk."

YOU'VE ACTUALLY MANAGED TO AVOID DYING FOR A WHILE. THAT'S CERTAINLY UNUSUAL.

"Glad?" Zoro quipped as he barely managed to block Mihawk's attack.

WELL, IT HAS BEEN RATHER BORING.

Zoro concentrated.

YOU'LL GO FOR ONE LAST ATTACK, THEN?

"Yes." Zoro attacked, putting all his strength and willpower into the slash.

And Mihawk fell.

xxx

The tenth time Zoro saw Death, he and his crew were battling Blackbeard for One Piece.

His muscles screamed in protest as he cut down another wave of foes. Still weak from his battle with Mihawk, he couldn't dodge the sneak attack.

Blood flowed from the wound as Zoro clasped a hand to it, trying desperately to stop the bleeding.

He saw Death watching him from afar. Then Death slowly took out a life-timer from a pocket in his robe and glanced at it.

He looked at Zoro.

YOU ARE NOT FINISHED YET, RORONOA ZORO.

Zoro smiled a bloody grin and fought on.

xxx

When Zoro finally went with Death, he was eighty-three years old.

He had retired, along with the rest of his crew, to a small island in the middle of a Calm Belt. Ever since Koby had been appointed to Fleet Admiral, no Marine ships disturbed them. Pirate ships avoided them out of respect and fear.

Zoro lounged in the sunlight, squinting at the sea. How endless….had he really traveled it all when he was young?

AHEM.

Zoro turned and beheld a very familiar figure. "You again?"

YES. ER. HOW SHOULD I SAY THIS?

"It's time for me to go?

GO? YES. YES, THAT'S IT.

Zoro sighed. "Can't say I wasn't expecting this. What comes next?"

Death explained. Twice, because Zoro didn't quite catch it the first time.

"Not what I was expecting," Zoro said, "But it sounds alright."

YOU WON'T BE BORED, THAT'S FOR SURE. IS IT ALRIGHT WITH YOU, BEING THE FIRST OF YOUR CREW TO DIE?

"I'm fine with it," Zoro said. "I've led a good life."

THEY'LL CATCH UP WITH YOU, I'M SURE. HAVE YOU ACCOMPLISHED EVERYTHING YOU WANTED TO ACCOMPLISH?

Zoro thought. "Yes. I'm ready."

The last of the sand drained into the bottom half of the hourglass.

Death swung his scythe.

xxx

A/N: And that's that. Review please!