Glamorous, Naturally

Author's Note: Written for a South Park songfic contest as hosted by katieadorable4436. Original prompt stated below.

Song: Glamorous (I'm assuming this is the one by Fergie ft. Ludacris – if I'm wrong, sorry!)

Summary: My mom has scheduled a trip for Las Vegas! I'm inviting all the girls in my class, and maybe a few more. Sure it's expensive, but hey, I'm staying me!

Pairing: No pairing, just lots of girls. (No, they're not lesbian!) – Note that my reaction was along the lines of 'dammit'. ;w; There may be a sliiiiight mention of a few pairings but god no is the fanfic centered on it. ^^;; Also, I don't know if ya'll like it, but this fanfic is entirely dialog and sound-effect based. So yeah. Hope you're kaykay with that.

Author: Tewi Inaba

Enjoy!

Are you ready?

"Oh, hey, you're all here! We're almost done packing."

If you ain't got no money, take your broke ass home

"This goes right in the back, back there."

You say: if you ain't got no money, take your broke ass home

"Bebe, are you sure you can take everyone?"

G-L-A-M

"Of course. I mean, I'm pretty damn sure that I've got enough tickets for everyone. Our class is a weinerfest anyway, so it's not like I had to buy a lot. Enough to invite some older girls, too."

O-R

"If you say so."

O-U-S

"Heh. Anyway, is everyone ready to go?"

Yeah

"Why not. Glad we're going alone, though."

We flyin' first class

"So leaving for the airport pleases and sparkles everyone?"

Up in the sky

"Pleases and sparkles!"

Poppin' champagne

"Alright, let's go, mom!"

-Click-

Livin' the life

"So, anyone have any plans for what we're gonna do when we get there? Circus Circus was fun when I was younger, but it's not as good now…"

In the fast lane

"Well, we're all 18 now, right?"

And I won't change

"…Not me…"

By the glamorous, oh the flossy, flossy

"Oh, right, Red….uhm…"

The glamorous

"We'll figure that out when we get to Vegas, I guess."

The glamorous, glamorous (oh, the glamorous life)

"Yeah. You do that. Wendy, why didn't you bring your trailer-trash boyfriend? I know he knows how to make fake licences."

By the glamorous, oh the flossy, flossy

"Don't talk about him like he's a hardened criminal! He's nice…"

-Click—Slam—Click—

Wear them gold and diamond rings

"Dammit, dammit…"

All them things don't mean a thing

"What's wrong, Red?"

Chaperones and limousines

"…I can't sleep on this plane, it's so uncomfortable…"

Shopping for expensive things

"It's okay, you'll get used to it, I'm sure. This is your first time flying, I was like that too during my first time…"

I be on the movie screens

"Wendy?"

Magazines and bougie scenes

"Yeah?"

I'm not clean, I'm not pristine

"Stop making flying sound like a sex metaphor."

I'm no queen, I'm no machine

"…Sorry."

-Click—Slam—Click—Click—

I still go to Taco Bell

"So, you'll be rooming together, Red and Shelley. Wendy and I will room together. That pleases and sparkles?"

Drive-thru, raw as hell

"Pleases and sparkles!"

I don't care, I'm still real

-Click, Slam, Flip, Flop –

"Why do you all say that?"

No matter how many records I sell

"Oh, an older tradition thing. Since we were younger."

After the show or after the Grammies

"It's odd. Like the way when I was younger I used to call everyone turd."

I like to go cool out with the family

"Tee-hee. Yeah, we were really strange when we were all little, especially Craig…"

Sippin', reminicin' on days when I had a Mustang

"Yeah, you're tellin' me. At least that gave me the benefit of meeting my little brother's best fr—I mean, my boyfriend. Guh. Have to get used to that."

And now I'm in…

"Teehee. I didn't know you really well then, or since this trip, but I'm beginning to like you a lot."

First class, up in the sky

-Click, Fwump, Poomph—

"Alright, Wendy, confess. You can't possibly like him truly?"

Poppin' champagne

"Well, I do. I could say the same about you and your new boyfriend."

Livin' the life

"Hey, Token is nice…."

In the fast lane

"So you're not just dating him for his money and possible endorsement for your dad's political campaign, because you know they'd vote someone black otherwise?"

And I won't change

"…Let's go to sleep."

By the glamorous, ooh, the flossy, flossy

"How did I know…"

The glamorous

"Shut up."

The glamorous, glamorous (the glamorous life)

-Click, click, click –

"Let's go to that one."

By the glamorous, ooh, the flossy, flossy

"I'll just go to Circus Circus…"

I'm talkin' champagne wishes, caviar dreams

-Ding—

"Kickass, I won!"

You deserve nothing but all the finer things

"Bebe, how much did you win?"

Now this whole world has no clue what to do with us

"….Not a lot."

I've got enough money in the bank for the two of us

"…Yeaaah. Wait, are those…?"

Plus I've gotta keep enough lettuce

"…Couldn't be."

To support your shoe fetish

"…It is….Who else would be keeping all their earnings in their knit caps…"

Lifestyles so rich and famous

"Goddammit, how did they find out?"

Robin Leach will get jealous

"Hell if I know. Maybe they don't know and this is a coincidence. Let's make sure they can't see us – if we can't see them, they can't see us."

Half a million for the stones

"HAHAHAHAHA! YOU'RE EVEN POORER NOW, KENNY!"

Taking trips from here to Rome

"SHUT THE HELL UP, FATASS!"

So if you ain't got no money, take your broke ass home

"…Resist, Wendy, resist. We can't let them know…"

G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S, yeah

"Why hello there, ladies."

G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S

"GO AWAY, FRENCHIE!"

We flyin' first class

"Did that sound like Bebe to you guys?"

Up in the sky

"Yeah, it did. Should we go check it out?"

Poppin' champagne

"ABORT! ABORT!"

Livin' the life

"…They're running."

In the fast lane

"Dammit, Frenchie, you scared my girlfriend off."

And I won't change

"I truly apologize, I know my appearance is frightful and deplorable."

By the glamorous, ooh, the flossy, flossy

"Better be sorry. Dammit, she said she was going on a ski trip with her family this week…"

The glamorous

-Click, click, click—

"Did you let the Park Hillbillies there know what we were doing this week?"

The glamorous, glamorous (the glamorous life)

"No…I told Kenny we were going on a ski trip…."

By the glamorous, ooh, the flossy, flossy

"Then one of the others must have told, or those idiots must be knacks for coincidence."

The glamorous

-Click, click, click –

"Hey, guys, look who was at Circus Circus!"

The glamorous, glamorous (the glamorous life)

"Howdy, girls!"

By the glamorous, ooh, the flossy, flossy

"RED? YOU LET HIM KNOW?"

I got problems up to here

"N-No, he saw me and walked over, is something wrong with that?"

I've got people in my ear

"Yes, he's male! We weren't letting the boys know, remember? It's a Girls Night Out weekend!"

Tellin' me these crazy things

"Oh…cheesecakes…sorry, girls…"

That I don't wanna know (fuck ya'll)

"Oh, hamburgers, I messed everything up, didn't I…"

I've got money in the bank

"…Did you tell the others?"

And I'd really like to thank

"Uh, just…Eric, Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Token, Clyde, Craig, and whoever they told…"

All the fans, I'd like to thank

"Goddammit, Butters."

Thank you really though

"Sorry, Bebe!"

'Cause I remember yesterday

"…It's alright…we've just got to stay entirely clear of them now, though…"

When I dreamt about the days

"Not likely, there are more of us then there are of you on this trip…"

When I'd rock on MTV, that'd be really dope

"….Get out, Butters…."

Damn, it's been a long road

"Okay…"

-Click, click, click, click—

And the industry is cold

"We've got to do a few more thi—"

I'm glad my daddy told me so, he let his daughter know.

"Can we join you?"

I'm glad my daddy told me so, he let his daughter know.

"…You're the boys talking in falsetto and crossdressing, aren't you?"

I'm glad my daddy told me so,

"Maybe."

He let his daughter know.

"Alright, let's go, then….girls."

-Click,click,click,click—