Title: Culpability
Chapter 3 – Laying Blame to Rest

As suspected Ed's night is spent somewhat in torment as his mind would try to pull him from the drug residue, watching himself being shot over and over, each time the help taking longer to get there until he fully awakens with a gasp in a cold sweat, watching himself die in the distorted nightmare.

He looks over at Donna who was gently stirring in the dimly lit room and frowns as he tries to settle back down; not wanting to wake her. He shifts his weary frame but is unable to bite back the gasp from his ribs bending oddly in time for her to hear.

"Ahhhh!" Ed gasps, his body jerking awake with the final bullet to the heart. His eyes snap open, heart racing at top speed.

"Ed?" Donna asks in haste as she quickly turns on the small overhead light and then looks at his strained expression.

"Sorry…to wake you," he manages with a try cough. "I'm fine," he offers weakly as she yawns and fully awakens, slightly sitting up to get a better look at him. "Donna…I'm fine."

"You're hot," she replies as her hand rests on his forehead.

"Thanks," he answers with a small smirk and her lips part into a small smile.

"Okay so I stated the obvious," she lightly frowns as her fingers rest up on his cheek. "But you are burning up a little. Another nightmare?"

"Trust me I'm fine," he insists, getting only an eye roll in return. "Donna…" Ed tries to protest as the hand of his uninjured arm grips the rails and he tries to sit up.

"Seriously you break that stitching and you'll really be in trouble. Don't make me call for restraints," she teases as she approaches him with a cool damp cloth.

"Donna…"

"Hush now," she soothes as she gently presses the cool cloth against his warm skin, his eyes closing at the immediate relief and the pounding in his head starting to slow. "Better?"

"Yeah," he admits in truth, opening his eyes to look up at her once more; garnering a tender glance in return.

"Night mare huh," Donna muses softly, as her finger gently brushes his rough cheek.

"A few," Ed replies with a frown as he shakes his head; pulling the cloth down to his flushed cheek. "What was I thinking?"

"Okay before you start to beat yours…"

"No I should ha…" is all Ed gets out before he's silenced by a soft kiss, Donna pulling back with a smile. "And I knew…" he tries again, only to have her lips press against his, this time she pulls back and they both smirk. "And…"

"Nice try…next time I'll just get the surgical tape," she playfully winks and he purses his lips but nods. "You were angry and that was it. We've all done stupid things in the heat of the moment but this time…"

"It cost me nine bullets; and a few weeks rehab; possibly my job."

"And now you have a few more scars for me to discover but don't over react," she assures him with a small frown of her own as she thinks about what one of the witnesses had told her.

"What?" Ed inquires in haste, noticing her facial expression change.

"I guess I'll have a few nightmares of my own," she replies with a tough swallow.

"Seriously, what if I can't…work?" Ed grimaces; earning a tender but strained expression from her.

"You can become my chauffer," she winks but his serious expression remains. "I know the job is everything to you, I get that but you are going to be fine. But it's four AM and we both need sleep or else I'll get into trouble. So…." her voice trails off as she slumps back down into the sleeping chair and turns off the light, the room still dimly lit from the hallway lighting and outside street lighting. "We can talk more in the morning," she takes his hand and gives it a warm squeeze.

Realizing it was pointless to argue, his body begging him to come back to sleep, Ed whispers goodnight once more and closes his eyes, delighting in the comforting feeling of her hand still holding onto his. But the nightmares weren't to be chased away anytime soon and so when Ed awakens the next morning his frame is still and inner agitation still remains; the night before anything but restful. His mind had replayed yesterday's events over and over and all he could do is curse his own stupidity for so blindly charging out when he did. Even two minutes later and that wouldn't have happened, he had argued over and over in his muddled brain. He looks over at Donna still asleep and feels a warm smile start to curl his lips upward.

Not wanting to wake her up, but wanting to get to the bathroom on his own, Ed slowly sits up, biting back a grimace as his bandaged ribs bend oddly forcing him to pause but quickly try again. But the arm that was in the sling, tries to automatically straighten and ends up getting caught in the tubing, which yanks free, making Ed instantly curse, Donna quickly awaken and a small beeping sound to call in the nurse.

"Ah damn it!" Ed curses in frustration.

"Ed…what…" Donna's voice trails off as she watches him trying rather unsuccessfully to untangle himself just as the nurse enters. "What are you…doing?"

"Mr. Lane where are…going?" The nurse asks in haste as Ed tries to shoo her helping hand away.

"To the damn bathroom…alone," he grumbles as Donna's fingers gently push his aside and untangle his bandaged arm that had now come free of the sling; an action he wouldn't let the nurse do.

"You aren't supposed to be moving that arm," the nurse warns with a frown. "If you need he…"

"I'm not going in there with anyone but me. I don't need help," Ed insists, Donna watching with a small frown.

"I got this," Donna tells the nurse as soon as Ed's free of the tubing.

"Just hook this one back up when he's done," the nurse tells Donna before she leaves.

"I'm fine," Ed looks up with a serious expression.

"You're trouble," Donna teases; Ed's face trying to offer a smirk but morphing into grimace as soon as he tries to stand up. He finally makes it and then waits a few seconds for the room to start spinning before he ventures toward the private bathroom, Donna's hand on the his uninjured arm.

"I'm going in there alone," Ed tells her in haste as they near.

"I wasn't going to suggest otherwise," Donna replies kindly. "But…"

"But what…"

"But..well uh…" she stammers as he twists his head to look directly at her. "Hey I like the view don't get me wrong but on the way back we'll get you another gown."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah seriously."

Ed merely sighs and shakes his head as he heads into the bathroom, looking back to see Donna giving his black underwear clad ass another look before she locks eyes with his and smiles.

"What? Men look…why can't women?" She teases before he disappears into the bathroom with a small smirk on his face.

However, as soon Ed looks at his tormented reflection in the mirror, the once amused expression is quickly replaced with one of frustration and anxiety as he lifts the gown as best he can and gazes at his wrapped chest, bruises above and below the bandages adding to the story of his current condition; his mind flashing the shooting before fading just as fast.

"Way to go," Ed chastises himself as he looks at the thick wrapping on his arm and then frowns, his inner agitation starting to rise once more at the thought that he could be looking for another line of work if the nerve damage was as bad as he fears and physio would be unsuccessful. But trying to push that morbid thought aside, Ed finishes up and then heads back out to see Donna waiting with another gown. Instead of arguing, he lets her drape it over his back and then put his arms through, actually thankful for the small but added warmth on his back.

Donna watches Ed move past her and head for the window, she follows, standing beside him as they both look out the window to the overcast morning. Ed glances over just as she stifles a yawn and frowns.

"I'm fine," she grins putting his mind somewhat at ease before she gently guides him back to bed, helping him ease back down and then placing the covers over; the tubing all hooked up and ready to go. Just after that the doctor comes in, allowing Donna a few minutes while he updates Ed on his recovery prognosis.

"Donna…about yesterday."

"We can talk later, it's okay," she tries to assure him.

"No, we need to clear…this up now," he lightly stammers, his heart rate elevating and drawing both their eyes to the glowing monitor. "Please?"

"I'm not mad."

"You're not?"

"I was…more disappointed and angry at myself yesterday but not mad at you."

"I never meant to deceive you about what was going on, Donna I promise you that."

"I know. Just wish I had known a few nights back. I mean I kept thinking it was me on our date."

"You noticed," Ed mentions more than questions.

"You looked at your watch a few times and then became a bit more strained. And it was after…"

"You had told me about if I ever needed someone to confess to. Donna I'm sorry," Ed offers sincerely.

"I know," she pastes on a weak smile.

"But it just got me thinking about Roy and his ultimatum and then…in the field yesterday knowing Greg had told Toth…wait how'd you know about that? And I was gonna tell you…I was," he swallows. "I just wanted to wait until yesterday was all over with."

"And then you stormed out and…now we're here," she sighs. "Sam told me."

"Sam?"

"When I asked you what was bothering you, you stormed off and I had to ask. I'm glad you confided in him," she does her best to sound brave.

"No it's not like that," Ed interrupts in haste. "Sam was at the Sunrise Motel when it happened. A few weeks back he heard me and Roy arguing on the phone in the locker room and then called me on it when I got mad and dented my locker door in frustration. I told him Roy's ultimatum and…and that was it. I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"Family matters I get it…I really do."

"But after you had said…"

"Ed, I wasn't expecting in that moment for you to confess your deepest, darkest secrets. I was merely offering a confidential outlet if necessary. If you had already talked to Sam…"

"But I'm sorry I was curt yesterday."

"How about you make it up to me when you're all better?" She teases.

"Sounds fair."

"And since we're on the apology train, I'm sorry I pushed you like that…back on the training field. I should have waited," she confesses in truth.

"Why didn't you tell me he put you in charge of running my team?"

"Ed…I had…yeah I should have the moment you walked in…but…well the truth is it's your fault."

"My fault?" Ed asks in surprise.

"Can't get past that smile," she gently flirts and his face softens. "I know I should have told you before you were ambushed and for that I am sorry."

"How about you make it up to me when I'm all better?" He hands her back the same line she handed him moments earlier.

"Sounds fair," she teases back. "Guess this new who tells who what stuff takes the most getting used to."

"Usually I tell Roy and…"

"And I'm not here to mess that up," she insists.

"I want you to mess it up," he interjects in truth. "I mean that."

"You sure?"

"I am."

"Okay then I will," she promises. "So what happened with Roy and the hearing?"

"Thankfully it was postponed…at least my part," Ed sighs as he leans back and looks up at her as she shifts into a better position on the cramped bed.

"And the stuff with Toth?"

"Toth…bastard," Ed curses through his gritted teeth.

"He pushed you right?"

"He …he did. He started with the usual and then…he pushed harder. First he started talking about who I confide in," Ed pauses looking up at her. "I didn't tell him I confide in anyone other than Roy because frankly it's none of his business. Sorry."

"Don't be sorry, it isn't any of his damn business. What was the breaking point?"

"He started talking about family and then got into the stuff with Roy and stuff that I had only told Greg. Sam knew about the ultimatum but Greg knew about me turning Roy in and a bunch of other stuff. And then I saw the time…knew he was on a witch hunt and I had to go…yeah without my gun. I shoulda waited but…"

"But you didn't and…"

"And now I'm stuck here while you get to go to work," Ed grumbles as she leans in closer, putting her weight on the side bars so as to avoid any pressure on his tender chest.

"Well…" Donna leans in closer and plants a small kiss on his forehead. "If you promise just to rest, I might be able to…" she starts as his fingers rest on her cheek, drawing her lips in closer. Their skin brushes but just as the heat starts to grow, Ed spies someone out of the corner of his eye and looks up to see Wordy watching with an amused expression.

"Morning," he smiles.

"Wordy…" Ed stammers.

"Right so um…later…" Donna utters nervously.

"Want me to come back so you two can make out a bit longer?" Wordy teases and Ed's face enflames.

"I should go to," Donna pulls back, leaving Ed with a rather gloomy expression on his face.

"Donna I didn't mean to…" Wordy instantly start into his apology.

"No I really do hafta go. But I will be back a bit later after I freshen up, get a portable DVD player and some…well soup…for me and…"

"What about work?"

"It's Friday and I took the day off. See you later," she plants a soft kiss on his rough cheek and then hops off the bed, grabs her jacket, says goodbye to Wordy and then disappears into the hallway. Wordy easing himself down into the chair that Donna had reconverted back into a chair for the day.

"You know you coulda waited," Ed smirks.

"I honestly didn't know," Wordy offers his best friend, dropping a knapsack by his bed. "Clean clothes, razor and shoes. Shelly is making some stuff I'll bring over later in the week in case you get tired of soup," Wordy smirks. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"Stiff and sore and angry," Ed grumbles getting a sympathetic nod from his friend. "I'm stuck here for the next few weeks."

"Weeks? I thought you could go home tomorrow."

"Here as in this situation. So yeah I can go home but so what. I can't do anything until my ribs and arm have healed."

"Read a book?"

"I am gonna go postal, seriously."

"Oh I doubt you'll be that alone," Wordy gestures to the door that Donna has just gone through.

"Wordy, I don't expect her to come over every night or every second night just cook and do well whatever…" Ed pauses with a frown.

"Whatever?"

"Well its not like I can do…"

"Do what Ed?" Wordy goads.

"I am not having this conversation," Ed groans, making Wordy chuckle. "Should have waited. Damn probation."

"You've taught us to be perfect which is why we passed all the technical stuff with flying colors. I guess we just gotta keep the personal stuff in check a bit more and talk more to each other in private rather over the headset."

"Secrets…" Ed mumbles. "Secrets will kill us," he ponders as he looks over at Wordy. "Gotta keep those at bay," Ed looks over at Wordy with a frown. "You okay?"

"I wasn't ambushed without my gun. But seeing you like this…its just to real you know," Wordy counters softly as he leans in closer to Ed's bed. "What did the doc say?"

"He was in early this morning. Said my ribs are broken, some internal bleeding and my arm…has some damage but they won't know how the repair job on the nerves is until at least a week. Wordy if I can't shoot…I'm done," Ed confesses in torment.

"Greg said you had the best surgeon, am sure you'll heal just fine," Wordy assures him.

"But what if…"

"How about we have this conversation again in a week? So how was last night? Donna stay here the whole time?"

"Felt guilty the times I woke her up or she had to get me a cold cloth," Ed groans. "At least I didn't throw up or something."

"Trust me am sure she was happy to be here."

"She looked tired this morning."

"She's not working today, team two's on deck with four as shotgun so we're all good until Monday, so stop stressing okay?"

"Kinda hard not to," Ed huffs. "This one was too close."

"How's Roy? You two patch things up?"

"Yeah…yeah we did," Ed replies in truth. The two of them talk a bit longer until Wordy had to head back home, spending the day with his family at the zoo. Roy was up next, talking with Ed for a few hours, making amends and the two of them coming to a new understanding and talking about what might happen if Roy wasn't reinstated with the police and how no matter what they wouldn't let things get this strained – ever again. Spike, came with Sam and Jules; the room now sporting a few vases of flowers and get well soon cards.

Greg was last to arrive, poking his head into the room and spying Ed all alone. "Knock knock," Greg utters with a strained tone, drawing Ed's gaze toward him.

"Boss."

Greg slowly heads into the room, his hands in his pocket and a frown still etched in his brow. He looks at the very unfamiliar stance of his usually tough and in control team lead and just shakes his head. "Eddie…"

"It's over Greg."

Greg cocks his head and purses his lips before exhaling heavily. "I didn't put all that down to betray you. Ed I just…it was such a bone of contention for you…"

"And you were worried about me turning in my brother and then going off the deep end?" Ed ponders.

"I have no excuse," Greg slightly shrugs. "I'm sorry you had to find out that way; it was never meant as a betrayal. It was out of line for Toth to even bring that up and push you like that. He backed you into a very tense emotional corner and you…"

"Overreacted. I shouldn't have stormed out of there like that. Sorry."

"No," Greg shakes his head. "It was an unfair ambush, much like the morning. You my friend were hit with too much yesterday. I didn't expect Toth to push like that. So I'm the one that is sorry."

"We're both sorry; no more blame. But I'm stuck here and…"

"So what did the doctor tell you?"

Ed informs his boss and friend a bit more about his positive prognosis but how they really wouldn't know how anything would turn out until everything was healed and physio was started. They talk a bit longer, the tense terms they had parted on all slowly dissipating; before Greg finally takes his leave, telling Ed he'd drop by later in the week to check on him at home. Evening finally approaches and Ed slowly wanders back from the bathroom; bypassing his bed and heading over to the window and looking outside with a small frown; wanting to be anywhere but in the hospital with not much else to do but contemplate the harsh realities of his own actions.

Ed's mind starts to wander back to his heated interview with Dr. Toth, keeping his mind busy so much so that he's unaware of Donna's presence until her arms gently wrap around his waist, her head resting on his shoulder.

"I feel asleep at home," she admits softly, feeling some of the tenseness in his shoulder starting to ease. "Sorry I'm late."

"Don't be sorry," Ed offers in a warm tone. "I figured as much." Ed twists around as best he can to face her and then leans in and kisses her on the cheek. "Sorry if I didn't thank you earlier for last night."

Donna looks at the tender expression on his handsome face and smiles. "It's where I was needed and where I wanted to be. You look tired?"

"Didn't do much all day and I'm tired."

"Hopefully you'll sleep better tonight."

"Mind's still active you know?" Ed sighs as they slowly wander back to his bed and once again Donna helps Ed lie down and then places her bag next to Wordy's. "Talkin' with Roy…Wordy…the boss…" his voice trails off as he slowly leans back, Donna adjusting the bed so he was semi-sitting. "Gonna be a tough few weeks ahead."

"Am sure Wordy's told you this but you know you won't be alone right?"

"I don't expect you to come and play…"

"Nurse?" She laughs and he nods and smiles. "You're right, I'll save the complete physical for when you're all better – everywhere. Maybe get myself in one of those sexy little white spandex mini…"

"Okay, okay, you're killing me here," he admits with an embarrassed smile and small chuckle. His uninjured arm wraps around her and gives her shoulders a comforting squeeze. "I selfishly want you to stay again."

"Why do you think I was sleeping this afternoon," she retorts matter-of-factly. "So are you able to eat food tomorrow?"

"Soup. You just wanted to tease right?" Ed mocks.

"Hey it's better than baby food or this tube thingy," she retorts and he can only nod.

"Donna I don't expect…"

"Okay where is my tape?" She teases and his speech ceases. "You really don't like people taking care of you do you?"

"I don't want to be a burden."

"Ever think that maybe I'm here because I want the burden of finally wanting to take care of someone other than myself? Don't you ever feel that way?"

"I want you here," he confesses warmly, his lips planting a small kiss on the skin below her ear.

"Well now that that's settled. We spend the night here and tomorrow at…your place?"

"I can man…" Ed starts only to have Donna quickly peck his lips and pull back. "That was a warning."

"So a day at a time?"

"You're a fast learner Ed Lane."

"No, just thinkin' you're serious enough to use the tape," he smirks.

"You bet I would. Now…" Donna pauses as she leans over the bed and reaches for the bag, pulling out the portable DVD player and then arranging herself into a more comfortable position on his cramped hospital bed. "Since I can't use the costume to entertain you, this is the next best thing."

"You okay like this?"

"I'm right where I wanna be," she admits in truth. "You okay?"

"Perfect," he whispers with a tender gaze. "Thank you. What did you get?"

"A-Team?"

"What? Really?"

"No good?" Donna frowns.

"Actually it's great, but you just better not spend the night making googly eyes at Bradley Cooper."

"Googly eyes?" She giggles. "Why Constable Lane are you jealous? Trust me I like a man that can fire a real gun."

"Guy probably can't even spell MP5," Ed boasts proudly.

"Probably not," Donna giggles in return as the movie starts up. "And do I have to make a line about you not making googly eyes at the gorgeous female lead?"

"Too fake," Ed answers in haste. "I'll make them at you instead. Besides I like a woman that can fire a real gun."

Donna looks over at Ed, planting another kiss on his cheek before her head rests on his good shoulder, the two of them watching the movie but mostly softly talking about the week ahead.

About half hour later, Donna twists her head and looks up to see Ed finally asleep. She turns off the DVD and gently places it to the side, grabbing the blanket she had put onto the sleeping bed and drapes it over herself, switching off the night light; and bathing the two of them in darkness. Her sleep would be not restful and short lived if a nightmare was to reveal itself and force him awake and her back into the sleeping chair; a pattern of the previous night would then ensue.

But tomorrow he would be allowed to go home, the first few weeks to just rest up, then the long and trying hours of rehabilitation and then practice on re-qualifying for his current job; which of course he'd get no questions asked. Donna would drop by as often as possible, mostly making sure he got some home cooked meals and wasn't in danger of dying of boredom; physical activities on hold of course until his entire frame could take it. The hearing for Roy would be rescheduled with Ed having a part in Roy's full reinstatement and then he and Donna would go on their third 'official' date which was going to allow things to grow into that of a steady relationship.

Blame had been laid to rest, friendships strengthened, family ties mended and a new relationship given the green light to progress.

THE END!

A/N: Okay so wasn't sure if you all wanted to see a few days of Ed resting under Donna's watchful eye, Roy's hearing and him coming back to work so left it here and hope that's okay. I would love your feedback on this story and the twist in this AUniverse so please do review before you go b/c that also gives me direction and encouragement to keep writing more and thanks so much in advance!

PS: For those of you that read M I hope you all enjoyed 'Aphrodisiacs' :)