So, this is an example of why I shouldn't write after drinking alcohol. Also, after deciding it was a good idea to watch all of Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged in one go (and let me tell you, that was a very unproductive day), I now ship Marik and Bakura.

Bakura lives with Marik in Egypt because I say so.

Marik regarded Bakura from where he sat at the head of their council table. Bakura had been in a lousy mood lately. Of course, the spirit was generally grouchy, but recently he'd been extra pissy. He didn't even pretend to listen to Marik's ideas anymore, just commanding him to shut up and then stalking away somewhere.

Marik had no idea what the cause of his partner's attitude problem was, but he was going to fix it in the only way he knew how: silliness and random shenanigans. Marik stood, grabbing the Millennium Rod as he went, and glared at Bakura. "Bakura!" he shouted, causing the possessed white-haired boy to jump.

"What the bloody hell do you want now?" Bakura snapped.

Marik blinked owlishly. He hadn't actually expected the spirit to actually respond, but he recovered from his surprise quickly. "Come, Bakura!" he said. "We're going to have some fun."

Bakura glared. "I have no desire to have fun with you," he growled. "We don't have time for fun!"

"Nonsense!" Marik declared. He glanced down at the Millennium Rod, thinking about using it on Bakura, but dismissing the thought. Bakura would only get even more pissed, and besides, forced fun was no fun at all. "Every villain needs to make time for some goofing off," he said, nodding as if he were an expert on the subject. "It says so in the Villain's Handbook."

"Marik, there is no Villain's Handbook," Bakura sighed, running his hand through his hair. "You're just making stuff up. Like always."

"How dare you!" Marik yelled, affronted. "I'll have you know, I'm a horrible liar. Therefore, it's physically impossible for me to just make stuff up."

Bakura sighed, shaking his head. "I'm just going to not say anything, and wait for you to realize how stupid what you just said was."

But Marik ignored him, and grabbed his arm. "Come on!" he said, dragging the spirit away. "I know just the shenanigans to cheer you up!"

"And what is that?" Bakura asked, defeated.

"Mattress surfing!"

"What the hell is mattress surfing?"

"You'll see."

Marik dragged Bakura down to his bedroom first. The bed was where it had always been since he was a kid, tucked away in a dark little corner. Back then, it was the only comfort he had when his father was terrorizing him and when he was feeling lonely. Now, it was just a place to sleep. He left Bakura standing in the doorway, and gleefully stripped the mattress of its sheets. He hefted it up in both arms and staggered towards the spirit.

"Marik, what are you doing?" Bakura asked, stepping out of the way of the unwieldy pad.

"You'll see," came Marik's muffled voice from behind the mattress. Stumbling, he led Bakura through the winding passages and tunnels of the tomb they resided in. It was dark in the catacombs to begin with, but with the mattress obscuring his vision, he took several wrong turns and had to double back. Bakura, having lived with the tomb-keeper long enough to have a general idea of his way around, was too amused to correct him when he went the wrong way. Finally, Marik found the way out.

Bright light blinded them as Marik, the mattress propped precariously on the stairs against the wall, pushed the trapdoor locking them in open. As soon as they blinked away the spots, Marik lifted the mattress again and led Bakura out into the open.

Bakura grinned, not because he had any idea what Marik was planning or why they had to go outside to do it, but because he was just happy to see the sun again. Since coming to Egypt to live underground with Marik, he hadn't seen much of it.

"What's this all about?" he asked dully.

Marik threw the mattress down at the top of the stairs and grabbed Bakura's wrist, pulling him down with him to crouch on all fours on top of the mattress. "Get ready!" Marik announced, and started a countdown. "Five!"

"What are we doing?" Bakura sighed as Marik counted four.

"Silence! Three," Marik continued, "two, one!" He reached over and pushed them forward, tipping them dangerously over the edge of the stairs.

"Marik," Bakura said warningly, but it was already too late. The mattress, with them still on top of it, spilled down the stairs into the tomb. Bakura let out an undignified yelp, trying not to cling to Marik's arm but ending up doing it anyway as the mattress gained speed. Orange and red torches whizzed past, and in just a minute they were at the bottom. Marik and Bakura flew off the mattress. They rolled on the stone floor a couple times before they stopped, Marik on top of Bakura and grinning down at him.

"That was fun," The tomb-keeper giggled. "Let's go again!"