Oyasumi: Goodnight
I realize now that I made the wrong choice. I never should have fallen in love with you, Arashi. But it's too late to change anything now. Back when I first met you, when I first told you that you were the one I had chosen, I did not fully understand the old stargazer's prophesy. I would die for the woman I love. I underestimated the power of that word, love. I wish I had chosen anyone but you. But you're the only one I love. And that's why I wish it was anyone but you. I'd rather live for you, not die for you. I want to live with you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. But the rest of my life is rushing to meet me, the end of my life is all too near, and the prophesy will soon come true. I can feel the pain, but from a distance. My sight is hazy, but I can see you clearly. I see you running to me, and I reach out my hand. Broken bits of the earth are falling down around us. You kneel down besdie me, and I touch your face. A spot of blood on your cheek, but it is my blood, not yours. I smile at you because you're beautiful. You grip my outstretched hand and whisper my name. A pang of remorse courses through me as I see your eyes begin to tear up. No, don't cry, that in itself would be the death of me. I can't stand to see a woman I love cry. I recall a faded memory, the only one of my mother that I can remember. She was crying when I left her. Never again. I promised myself I wouldn't make you cry.
"Please... Arashi, if you love me... don't cry."
A desperate plea. At first I think that my voice is too weak for you to hear, but you nod and wipe your eyes with a tattered sleeve. You place a hand on my bloody cheek and whisper my name again. It's heartbreaking the way you look at me. I want you to smile, for once have you smile at me with the warmth and love I know you're capable of. And it's as if you heard my thoughts. You smile, sadly but still a smile, and gently rest your head on my chest. It hurts, but pain is meaningless, nonexistant compared to my love for you.
"There's something... I've always wanted to tell you..."
I smile at you, but my eyelids are so heavy.
"Tell me," I manage to say. I fight to keep my eyes open, to keep looking at you. But I'm slipping, I can feel myself shutting down.
Tell me, Arashi.
"Sorata, I..."
I can no longer force my eyes open. Now all I can feel is the slight pressure of your head on my chest and the warming touch of your hand holding mine.
"Sorata...?"
Tell me, Arashi. There will be no other chance.
"Sorata!"
I hear you, Arashi. I can't speak, but I can still hear you. Tell me what you have to say.
"Sorata-kun... I love you more than anything... don't leave me... not yet...!"
I smile. You've never called me that before. And it feels so good. I don't want to leave yet either, but I'm falling, fading, losing you.
"A...i...shi...te...ru..."
I love you Arashi, and I will die for you.
With my last ounce of strength, I reach out and hug you. I cannot fight the foreordained. Please, do not cry, because it was my fault for loving you. I fade into darkness, and the last thing I hear is you calling my name.
Sorata!, you call.
I cannot answer.
Goodnight, Arashi.
Goodnight.