I understand that I drag the story out. It's a bad habit. I'm sorry that you had to wait until the MerDer part of the fic...but it's here now. I always intended to have a MerDer story line.

FLASHBACK:

Meredith breathed, her hot breath splashing across his face. Her tiny fists were clenching his t-shirt. She swung her left leg around, pinning his body in place against the back seat of his jeep. Then their mouths collided, his tongue darted out to drag across her bottom lip. Immediately, her mouth opened wider and she pressed her tongue to his. He was trying not to think about the way her body was wrapped around his, because it was doing weird things below his belt.

Derek was lying across one of the on call room bunks, his mind wandering to his high school days. His shift had ended almost four hours ago, but he didn't want to go home. He often slept in the hospital, only going home when Addison was on call. Addison was home and after the screaming matches they'd been having over the last couple of weeks he tried to avoid her as much as possible.

"You looked at her like you were going to mount her right there in front of me and Izzie Stevens!" She had shouted, her words sharp. "You have a history with her! She was your first love. Those kinds of feelings never really go away..now you're working with her. Ask her to be removed from your service indefinitely."

Derek had told her she was being childish. Then followed by saying it was unprofessional of him to make such a request. Addison's eyes went from angry to disappointed in a split second. They both knew the real reason for Derek not removing Meredith from his service...

He couldn't. They had been separated for eleven years and he couldn't physically handle being apart anymore. The feelings were still there. He knew it. Addison knew it. Meredith knew it. They were lying to themselves if they thought they could deny the feelings much longer.

Derek ran a hand over his face and sighed. He was emotionally and physically exhausted. Meredith had always been a spitfire. Even as a teenager she had managed to turn his world upside down. Now he was married and she was doing it again..

He was lost in thought when the door swung open. A stunned looking Meredith was standing in the doorway, her hand still on the doorknob. She slapped her free hand against her side. "Crap," She said and turned to leave.

"No, stay," Derek answered before he knew what he was doing.

Meredith looked at him for a moment. Then she stepped inside and closed the door behind her. She sat down on the bed across from Derek and looked at him. She was waiting for him to speak because she was at a loss for words.

All of the events of the past month came rushing back. Meredith coming back to Seattle. Her first day. The few conversations they had. And all of his fights with Addison over her. It hit him like a brick wall and he couldn't resist it any longer. There were so many things he wanted to say. He wanted to apologize for leaving the first time. For not contacting her after he left. For getting married. For letting Addison control his life. There were so many words on the tip of tongue and one simple way to express them. He stood up and quickly closed the distance between them. Without speaking, he cradled Meredith's face in his hands and pressed his lips to hers.

Meredith hesitated for a moment. Her mother was a home wrecker. She had been Richard Webber's mistress for years. Meredith had made a pact to herself to never be that woman, but it took only minutes before she leaned forward and opened her mouth wider, deepening the kiss. She wanted Derek and she always went after what she wanted.

When his hands slid down her body, tracing random patterns on the exposed skin of her hips, where her scrub top had ridden up, it was like no time had passed at all. They were teenagers again in the backseat of his jeep, making out under the moonlight.

Time passed quickly. When Meredith finally pulled away she was red and out of breath. She looked at Derek and saw the desire burning in his blue eyes. She was positive that hers mirrored it. It had felt so nice to feel his mouth on hers and his arms around her again. It took all her restraint not to mount him right then and there.

Meredith and Derek's relationship went on in secret. They met in on-call rooms and the hospital's basement. Sometimes when Addison was working nights they would go to Meredith's house. They were teenagers again. Sneaking around behind their parents' backs and having sex in Derek's car while it was parked in a deserted parking lot.

They were laying in each other's arms, their bare chests pressed together. it had been a month since their first make out session in this very same room. A million thoughts were going through Meredith's head. She felt at home in his arms, but the reminder of the wife he had at home made her sick to her stomach.

"You have a choice to make," Meredith said, breaking the silence. Derek's hand, which had been tracing a pattern on her spine, stopped. He sat up, leaning his back against the wall. Meredith pulled away so she could look at him. "You have a choice to make because I'm not going to do this," She gestured to the space between the two of them. "My mother was the dirty mistress and I don't want to be. I won't be. So you have to choose. Derek, I'm sure she's great. You obviously love her because you wouldn't have married her...and she loves you, too." Meredith began rambling. It was a nervous habit of hers, but this time she couldn't stop. "But Derek, I've loved you since I was fifteen. Like a really big kind of love. I tried to move on, but I can't. I love you. A lot. But I won't continue to sneak around. I want to settle down. I want a life, too. Remember that when you're making your decision," Meredith said nothing else. She didn't wait for Derek to reply, she picked up her clothes and slipped into them before leaving him alone in the room.

Derek stared at the door for several minutes after Meredith left. He knew that this was coming. Meredith was strong, independent. She was not going to be somebody's dirty secret for long. He sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. She was right. He had a choice to make. But in actuality. He didn't. His mind was already made up.

Derek drove in silence, making a point to turn the radio off. He wanted time to practice what he was going to say. There was a long speech going through his head. He repeated it over and over again, making sure it was perfect. He wanted to make this as painless as possible...

That was the last thing he remembered thinking. There was an Earth shattering screech. It filled Derek's ears and made him cringe. Something slammed into the back of his Porsche Cayenne. It drifted a few feet before slamming into the concrete wall to the side of the highway. The impact made Derek bounce around wildly in his seat. His head banged against the steering wheel and then the world went black...

Meredith's eyes were heavy with lack of sleep. She kicked off her jeans and stripped out of t-shirt, leaving them in a pile on the floor. She stalked into the bathroom in only her bra and underwear to brush her teeth. Before she laid down she slipped into flannel pajama pants and her old, ratty Dartmouth t-shirt. When her head finally hit the pillow she moaned with pleasure.

Her phone rang and her eyes snapped open. Cristina's name popped up on the LED screen. Meredith sighed and pressed the phone to her ear. "What's up?" She said around a yawn. The background noise was a flurry of activity.

"Derek," Cristina said, breaking through the noise. "There's been an accident. It's not good. You should get here now," Was all her friend said before the line went dead.

Meredith hadn't even noticed that she was already in motion. She had kicked the sheets back and was making her way through her house. When she got to the front door she shoved her shoes into a pair of boots, only then realizing that she was still wearing her pajama pants. She kept going. The only thing on her mind was Derek. She needed to know if he was okay.

When Meredith burst through the doors of the emergency room she was immediately hit with how crowded it was. Every bed was filled. Doctors and nurses were fluttering about. Phones were ringing and heart monitors were beeping. She ignored the commotion, zeroing in on the trauma rooms. She had a feeling Derek was tucked inside one of them. She was right.

Addison was standing outside trauma room one. Her auburn hair was immediately recognizable. She was staring at the room's window, but she couldn't see in. The blinds were drawn. A crumpled tissue was in her fist. She reached up to dab at her eyes every few seconds.

Meredith froze in her tracks. Before she could think about turning around and running for the door, she felt a tugging at her arm. Cristina was pulling her down the hall. She was wearing a yellow trauma gown. There were blood stains on the thin gown. Meredith gasped when she saw it, assuming it was Derek's.

"He has a cerebral hematoma, severe internal bleeding in his abdomen, multiple facial lacerations, and..." Her voice trailed off and she dropped her gaze to the tiled floor.

"What?" Meredith questioned. "What's wrong?"

Cristina shook her head. She looked exasperated. "A piece of the windshield penetrated his heart..." Her voice trailed off.

Meredith's eyes widened. She shook her head in disbelief. When she opened her mouth no words came out. Her thoughts were racing and her own heart was pounding quickly in her chest. Her knees were weak and she suddenly felt as though she couldn't stand. She grasped onto the handrail running along the wall behind her.

Cristina reached out to steady her. She opened her mouth to comfort her friend, when her pager went off. The beeping noise only made Meredith's heart beat faster. Cristina glanced down at the waistband of her pants. "9-1-1," She announced and turned in the direction of the trauma rooms.

Meredith remained holding onto the rail. She was focusing on steadying her ragged breathing and lightheadedness. Cristina turned and took in her friend's sad state with wide eyes. "He's in good hands, Mer," She said before stalking down the hallway, leaving Meredith standing alone.

Meredith found herself standing at the mouth of the E.R again. She was watching Addison in front of the trauma room. She was still clutching a tissue and staring blankly at the covered window. Meredith thought about leaving. If she turned around and walked out Addison would have never known that she was here. Then she thought about sitting at home, waiting for updates about Derek via Cristina's phone calls. The idea sent shivers down her spine. It was the only motivation she needed. With her head held high she made her way toward the room and took her spot next to Addison.

A strong hand gripped her bicep and dragged her back down the hallway to the place her and Cristina had just stood. "Let go of me," Meredith said, sternly. She shook her arm free of Addison's hold and turned to face the older woman.

Addison's blue eyes burned with anger. She stared at Meredith for a moment before beginning her tyrant. "That's my husband in there! Husband trumps boyfriend, so you need to go home. He doesn't need complications right now," She warned. Her tone was no nonsense and her face was twisted into a scowl.

Meredith's eyes widened. Derek and her hadn't been as good at sneaking around as they had originally thought. Addison knew...

"You think I'm stupid? I know all about your on-call room meetings and secret glances. It's romantic, really. High school sweethearts finding the love they once shared," She snapped. "But you need to go. Go home and when Derek wakes up you need to end whatever is going on between the two of you."

Meredith recoiled like Addison had slapped her. Addison's flare up hadn't been irrational. Any wife would respond the same way to their husband's mistress, but that didn't mean Meredith was going to leave. She had as much right to be there as Addison did. "I'm not going," Meredith replied, defiantly. She crossed her arms over her chest and tilted her head to look up at Addison. "I love him, too," She admitted. "And I want to make sure he's okay. So, I'm staying."

Addison's mouth mashed into a straight line. She glared at Meredith. Her eyes boring holes into the younger woman. For a moment, the two just stared, neither of them spoke. "Then stay out of my way," Addison hissed and stalked down the hallway, back in the direction they had come.

"Meredith," A familiar voice whispered. Her body started shaking violently. "Meredith!"

Meredith slowly opened her eyes. Cristina was standing in front of her, shaking her awake. It took Meredith a moment to realize where she was. The E.R waiting room. She was still in her pajamas and was uncomfortably folded into one of the plastic covered chairs. She sat up and rolled her neck working out the kinks. "How's Derek?" She asked when she remembered her reason for being there. Her eyes were wide and the sleep was immediately removed from her face.

"Dr. Nelson and Burke operated on him. They stopped the bleeding on his brain. Burke was afraid of infection, so he operated on his heart at the same time. There were complications. The glass had badly damaged his heart. Burke did the best he could..." Cristina looked around, then slid into the seat next to Meredith. "He's gonna need another surgery to repair the tears in his heart. They're gonna wait a few hours, let him get stronger, then he's gonna go back in."

Meredith sat there for a moment, taking in the information. She had a hundred questions. The same feelings of anxiety as those moments in her bedroom after Cristina's phone call took over her body. She began lamaze breathing in an attempt to calm herself. She felt a lump rise in her throat. Her head was filled with images of Derek. He was smiling, laughing, kissing her. She couldn't imagine him lying on his back in a hospital bed. "Is he going to be okay?"

"Dr. Burke is very good," Cristina replied. "The best in the country," She added. Meredith suddenly knew what it felt like to be a family member in the waiting room. Cristina was spewing the same genetic answers they gave panicking families.

Meredith knew that Cristina couldn't confirm Derek's future, so she didn't push. "Can you take me to him?" She asked, her voice was broken as she held back tears.

Cristina's eyes widened. "Addison is with him..."

Meredith shook her head. "I don't care. I want to see him," She replied. She just wanted to see him. Even if he wasn't conscious. She wanted to be there. To hold his hand and comfort him.

Derek was lying in the hospital bed. The sheets were pulled up to his waist. There was a bandage peeking out from the top of his hospital gown and another was wrapped around his head. His body was a map of tubes and wires, all hooked up to the various machines stationed around his bed. Addison was perched on a chair next to him, she was gripping his hand in both of hers.

Meredith rolled her eyes. She was aware of all the mean things Addison had said to Derek since Meredith showed up. Derek had been verbally abused by Addison. She was constantly blaming him for things he didn't do. Now she was sitting here, pretending to be the perfect wife. She wore a concerned expression and shed alligator tears.

A loud beeping noise woke Meredith up. She had been exhausted and after sitting with Derek for a few hours had reluctantly left his side to take up in one of the on call rooms. She had only intended to rest her eyes for a moment, but she quickly slipped into a deep sleep.

She reached blindly for her pager that was tangled somewhere in the mess of sheets she was lying in. When she found it, it was Cristina. She pushed off the bed and lazily stuck her feet into her sneakers. She hadn't left the hospital since the day of the accident. She showered and wore clean scrubs. Even on her days off. Cristina was reviewing Derek's chart when Meredith found her. She was closing the door on his room. It had been almost two days since his last surgery and Meredith was dying to know how he is. She nearly collided with Cristina as she came around the nurses' station.

"He's awake," Cristina said, she glanced up at Meredith while she flipped the chart shut. "Addison's with him," Her voice was slow, testing Meredith's reaction.

Meredith looked from her friend to Derek's hospital room door. It was closed, but faint voices were drifting from beyond it. They rose and fell as Addison and Derek's confrontation escalated. Meredith could hear the voices, but couldn't make out the words.

Derek was propped up in his hospital bed. His last memory was making his decision. Then the truck hit him from behind and he collided with the wall. The rest is black...but he did remember his choice. Now he was staring at Addison as she sat next to his bedside. She looked concerned, her one eyebrow was pinched. The way it always was when she was confused.

"This has been over for a while, Addie...neither of us wanted to admit it," Derek said. He crossed his arms over his chest, then quickly uncrossed them, wincing at the pain in his chest. His stitches were still fresh and they caused him some discomfort.

Addison stared at him, wide eyed. She laughed, but there was no humor in the sound. She used both hands to slid her hair behind her ears. "You're leaving me for her," She stated. It wasn't a question. It wasn't said in disbelief. It was a statement. Addison's voice remained even, still.

"Does it matter?" Derek asked. He looked at his wife, but couldn't find her. Somewhere since they said 'I do', she'd changed. She had become someone he didn't recognize. "You didn't want this. If you wanted this you wouldn't be taking extra shifts. You wouldn't be picking at everything I do. You wouldn't be jealous of Meredith.."

Addison shook her head. "No! You don't get to tell me that I have no right to be jealous of Meredith Grey. I know, Derek. I know all about you and her. I found her panties in your pocket! Whenever I'm near you I can smell her perfume! I figured it out. A while ago," She stared at him. Her blue eyes burning into his. She looked down at the floor, then back up at him again. "It's her," She said, her voice was smaller than before. "It has always been her." Derek wore a somber expression. He just stared at Addison, waiting for her to continue. "Even before she started working her. You never stopped loving her."

"I'm sorry, Addison," Derek replied. And he was. He was apologizing to the woman he married. To the woman he loved. Not to the woman who was standing before him. She had abused him and tore him down. She didn't deserve his apology.

Addison looked at him in disbelief. Her expression changed quickly to one of understanding. She nodded and ran a hand through her hair. "Have your lawyer draw up the papers and send them over. I'll sign them right away." She didn't wait for Derek to respond. She simply turned on the heel of her stiletto and click-clacked her way out of the room.

The weight of the world seemed to be lifted off of Derek's shoulder as he watched Addison go. He had been holding onto her because he thought he had to. He had always been the perfect one. And the perfect husband didn't give up. He chased after his wife, always made things right. Keeping up the appearance of award-winning husband was stressful. He couldn't do it anymore. Not when Addison wasn't trying either. Not when Meredith was there with her soft lips and killer smile. Meredith... A smile spread across his lips at the mere thought of her name.

TO BE CONTINUED...

I am aware that you were frustrated. Constructive criticism is one thing, but nasty insults are unnecessary. I hope you enjoy this chapter! I'll get the second half up as soon as it's finished!