I had intended for this to be multichapter, but that never goes well with me. That may or may not be why the ending's a little flat. Hope you like it either way~^^

Disclaimer

I don't own Adventure time, for the love of grod.

"Ow...ow...ow..."

Finn gently walked down the stairs of his house to the first floor, wincing with every step. 'Sore' had definitely become a part of his regular vocabulary ever since Marshall Lee entered his life.

Jake was busy playing a game on Beemo in the living room, occasionally stretching out his mouth to take bites from a nearby bowl of popcorn.

"Rough night, buddy?" snickered Jake as Finn sat down next to him, letting out a hiss of pain as he did so.

"Yeah." wheezed Finn, slumping on the sofa. "What day is it?"

Jake paused the game for a moment to think. "Hm...Saturday, I think."

Finn let out a sigh of relief as Jake resumed his game. "So I lasted four days this time. That's a new record..."

"Where is Marshall, anyway?"

"Upstairs...showering. ...Glob, I need something to drink."

Finn struggled to get to his feet, but barely managed to lift himself from the sofa. "Aw, forget it. I'll wait 'till later."

The sound of cheerful whistling made both of them perk up. Marshall Lee floated down from upstairs, a fluffy towel wrapped around his head and clad in only his usual ripped jeans. "'Sup, peeps?" he grinned, quizzing by Finn to give him a quick kiss on the cheek.

Jake responded with a quick 'hey', still mainly focused on his game. Lee was just about to make his way to the kitchen to get a snack when Finn grabbed his arm. "Hold on, dude. We need to talk."

Human, Candy Person, immortal, whatever, those were four words NO ONE in a relationship we wanted to hear. His nonexistent heart thudding, Lee floated next to Finn. "W-what's up?"

Finn nervously pushed his fingers together, unsure how to address the issue that was plaguing him. "Well...it's kinda...it's about...-sigh- It's all the marathon sex, Lee."

CRASH! went the sound of Jake's game character as he accidentally drove off of a cliff at Finn's words. His skin went from golden yellow to strawberry-red and he, without saying a word, scooped up Beemo and carried him into the other room.

"Am I doing something wrong?" asked Lee, cocking his head.

"No, that's not-"

"Is it about that thing I did with my tongue?"

Finn blushed heavily at the memory, shaking his head. "No; actually, that was kinda nice, let's get back to that."

"Is it about me using up all the whipped cream?"

THAT memory made Finn even redder. "Er, no."

"Then what?"

Finn took a deep breath and stared hard into Marshall Lee's eyes. "I think we need a break from all the sex."

Silence.

A good few minutes of silence and Marshall Lee burst into uproarious laughter. Finn pouted and crossed his arms as Marshall Lee kept laughing, tears forming at the corners of his eyes.

"Ohohoho, man! That was...I can't believe...pfft-hahahaha, you really had me going, dude." wheezed the immortal.

"I'm serious, man! I think we've been going at it a little too much lately. I could barely get out of bed today."

Lee gave Finn a quick kiss on the nose, sliding himself into his lap. "I thought heroes have great stamina, Finny boy."

"There's a LIMIT, Lee."

Sighing, the vampire draped an arm around Finn's neck and nuzzled his cheek. "Okay, okay, love. For you, I'll give you a break. How long? A day or two?"

Finn turned away from Lee and mumbled something. "Sorry, babe, what was that?" Finn mumbled again. "Didn't catch that..."

"A...month?"

Princess Bubblegum, relaxing in her library, lifted her head up from her book, a confused look on her face. "Fionna, did you say something?"

The heroine looked up from polishing her sapphire sword and shook her head. "Nope, why?"

"Hm...I could've sworn you screamed 'a month'." Bubblegum shrugged and returned to her book. "Must've been my imagination..."

And so, after much begging, pleading, bargaining and promises of red velvet cake, Marshall Lee had finally agreed to give Finn a one month break. 31 straight days of no sex.

So, while Finn was finally getting some rest, Marshall Lee had opted to take a stroll around Ooo to take his mind off things.

The immortal decided to help pass time by doing something he hadn't done in a while; mess with Princess Bubblegum.

...Only for his plan to fall flat when she caught him affixing a bucket of water to her doorway.

After a thorough, stern, German talking-to, the pair made up with tea and jawbreakers, and found themselves in one of the princess's many common rooms.

"So." stated Bonnibel, munching on one of the candies. "How're things with you and Finn?"

Lee sighed and drained the red from a triple-swirl jawbreaker and sighed. "Great. Peachy. Abstinent for a month. Couldn't be better. Happy as clams."

Bubblegum blinked. "What was that?"

"Couldn't be better?"

"No, before that."

"Peachy?"

Bubblegum sighed. "No...in the middle."

"Oh, that." Marshall Lee drained another jawbreaker. "Yeah, it was Finn's idea. He thinks we've been doing it too much."

The princess jerked her eyes away from Lee's, an action he caught. "What?"

"Nothing, nothing." squeaked Bubblegum. "Just thinking."

"About...?" pried Lee, cocking an eyebrow.

"Well..." And Bubblegum couldn't believe she was getting involved in this. "Why not...coerce Finn into breaking the deal himself?"

The vampire blinked. "How so?"

Blushing, Bubblegum said "Become irresistible in such a way that Finn forgets the arrangement and has sex with you regardless of his exhaustion?"

Lee stared. Slowly, the gears in his head starting turning, and a big smile broke out on his face. "Sugarlocks..." he said in admiration. "You're a GENIUS."

Bubblegum blushed. "I try."

"But." interjected the immortal. "How are we supposed to make me more irresistible than I already am?"

Rolling her eyes, the princess beckoned Lee to come closer, which he did. Leaning in, she whispered into his ear. When she finished, Lee practically leapt back, staring wide-eyed at the royal.

"Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum!" he said incredulously. "That is quite possibly the most shallow, twisted, evil, selfish, perverted idea I have EVER heard!"

Embarrassedly, Bubblegum turned away. "Well, it was just a suggestion, you don't have to-"

"You shut your mouth right now, PB, 'cuz I love every single bit of it."

Finn yawned as he awoke from his afternoon nap, his rear end feeling better already. Whistling a happy tune, he hopped down to the kitchen to mms himself a snack...

...only to come across a very interesting sight.

Marshall Lee was lying on the kitchen counter, head propped up on his fist with a coy smile on his face, a tiny bit of his fangs showing.

Oh, and he was naked. Except for a few details.

Whipped cream covered his nipples, his navel and his entire waistline. Nestled in his navel was a small chocolate-covered strawberry, but that wasn't the main focus.

Finn noticed, with wide eyes, a whole slice of cheesecake was nestled between his legs, the tip of his penis poking out from the top.

"Heya there, Finny boy."

Finn, with a completely nonplussed look on his face, strode by the vampire to the fridge, prying it open and fishing out sandwich making material.

"Aw, Finn..." cooed Lee, floating into the blonde's face. "That was rude of you. I'd never think a boy your age would pass up such a tasty treat."

Finn set down his sandwich making stuff and stared hard at the vampire. "You can't SERIOUSLY think I'd fall for that."

Lee huffed and crossed his arms. "It took me 45 minutes to get like this, y'know."

Finn smirked and began making a peanut-butter and ham sandwich. "Bubblegum told you to do this, huh?"

Lee stared, not even caring that his whipped cream was starting to melt. "H-how'd you know?"

Finn reached a finger out and dredged some whipped cream from the immortal's nipple. Spooning it into his mouth, he flashed Lee a smirk.

"Because she tried the same thing on Marceline."

I am a dangerously insane person to have come up with this~ X3