Charlie's P.O.V

Nothing. That's exactly what I felt. I was awake but my eyes were closed, my breathing still. Maybe if I held my breathe long enough, I wouldn't have to wake up. Where ever I was, didn't feel right. I was trapped and unsafe. All I knew for sure, was the light weight that rested on my hand felt safe. The tingles it sent through my body made me feel safe. That was all I was sure of.

I coughed, trying to regain my voice. My throat burned and I couldn't help but let slip the tears that were brimming in my eyes. They fell through my squinted shut lashes, down my cheek and to my neck. It tickled, but I let it.

I tried clearing my throat but that hurt way too much. I knew Brax was in the room, his sleepless body next to me. So I tried to speak.

"Wa-a-t-e-r." Please god, let him understand what I need. Instantly, the hand on mine tensed and I felt Brax move.

"Water Rubes, get her some water!"

"Charlie? Hey, can you hear me?" Brax's voice was gentle and kind, like it usually was.

Then I started to remember everything. The fighting. The yelling. The hitting. The tears. Brax's hurtful face. I hate you. Those three words I let myself say.

What the hell was wrong with me? When did everything become so hard? Most importantly, why did I feel so lifeless?

I hated feeling this way and I hated treating Brax like this. Right now, I hated so much but then one thing I was sure of, was that I needed Brax and I would have to fight through my alter ego to be with him.

Brax's P.O.V

"Charlie?" I tried again. Her mouth went agape but nothing came out, I presumed she was trying to talk. I took the glass of water from Ruby and put it to Charlie lips. She tried to drink it, most of it falling down her mouth. She didn't care, or she didn't feel it. With the amount of drugs we had to intoxicate her with, it wouldn't surprise me.

I knew she didn't want to be her but I had to help her. Seeing her take those drugs broke my heart. This isn't who she is and if she could see herself at that moment, I just know she would be so ashamed of herself. She wouldn't remember anything that happened and it was better that way. It was a tough choice to make, but I knew it was the only way to help her break through the barrier she created around herself.

She cleared her throat, trying to regain her voice.

"Wha-at happened?" I gently stroked her cheek, so worried about her.

"You had a little accident, but you're fine now. Everything is going to be fine. I promise." She looked at me. I mean, really looked at me. It felt like it was the first time she had ever seen me. That mischievous glint to her eye, the slight smirk. I smirked back.

"Do you want anything?" She shook her head instantly and sat up, stretching out her muscles.

"Why do I feel so...dead?" She laughed at her choice of words. She was already returning to her old self but it all felt so wrong. It was right but wrong. I knew it would be appropriate to give her the option of remembering her own unborn child, but I just couldn't.

She would want to remember and then she would still be that person I know she isn't. She was in too much grief and not only did it physically and mentally pain her, but me too.

I could hear Ruby behind me, her steps were hesitant and I could tell she wasn't sure if Charlie would remember her. I had to chuckle at that. She would remember everything except for what happened in the past few weeks. I mean, the memories wouldn't be completely gone, but she wouldn't remember the pain or the grief she had to go through. She would barely remember her child.

"I'll give you guys a minute." Ruby left the room, probably in tears. I would have to talk to her later.

Charlie's P.O.V

Brax looked at me and I shrugged, smiling.

"What kind of accident was I in? I don't remember anything." I sighed with a frown on my face. I felt so refreshed and almost brand new. It felt...nice. Brax hesitated for a minute and then smiled at me, gripping my hand tightly.

"We were fighting and you fell..." Oh god. He looks sad because I said I hate him.

"Brax, I don't hate you. I-I love you so much and I'm so sorry but I don't really know what i'm sorry for." I cried and brax jumped up to comfort me. He wrapped his arms firmly around my waist.

"Shhh, shhh." He whispered into my ear, while he brushed my hair.

"I love you, Charlie."