Disclaimer: Primeval and all its characters belong to someone else.

Set during Series 5 Episode 6- Realisation hits Philip- New Dawn will destroy the world. Philip locks himself in the lab to try a last minute attempt to stop it from happening.

Quite a short chapter, but it sets the scene and I hope you enjoy it. Please review if you do!

Guilt!

The Three Times Philip left Connor to die…

Chapter One- Alone With Death

Philip stood alone in the lab of the Power Station, which was once full of hustle and bustle and people milling around. The robotic sound of a woman's voice echoed out, repeating a warning over and over again- the last voice he would ever hear.

He looked around at the orange lights through the windows in the doors and on the walls. They glowed eerily through the smoke and debris, Sparks sprayed around him now and again as he stood there- his last moments alive.

"emergency...emergency..." droned on the computerised voice.

He opened his laptop with difficulty, and quickly typed an urgent email, sending two copies of his last words to the two last people he would ever communicate with. Funny to think they'd read his words after he was gone- at least a bit of him would remain alive, even if it was just words on a computer. He looked around again, and as he punched 'enter' on his silver laptop, the woman continued her deadly chant, calmly, emotionlessly…

"emergency...emergency..."

The aluminium steel shelving started buckling as he stood there alone. Suddenly, the room was plunged into darkness for a moment, smoke stinging his eyes. 'What had he done?' he thought in those last moments- 'what had Helen done? Why had she done this- what could she have hoped to gain from it all?' He didn't understand. He held his head in his hands, dropping the laptop onto the table in front of him- just wanting a little longer before activating the destruct sequence.

These last moments seemed like they were being played out in slow motion and as rumour had it, he could actually see his life flash before his eyes- a good life until he got involved with Helen Cutter. At least he was doing the right thing now- even if it did mean he would lose his life- what did he have left to live for anyway? He'd long ago lost the respect and loyalty of his co-workers. He didn't even know where April had gone to. Had she run away too, like the rest of them? He had been big- huge in the world of science, and his name was famous and renowned throughout the world. He had been going to be knighted for his work…and now…all that was left was this crumbling shell with the voice droning on and on as his only companion.

"primary reactor overload…" she informed him.

He wandered around the room in a trance, working up the last semblance of courage to press the buttons that would wipe out this building and him forever. He knew now that he had let everyone down. And Connor…Connor who believed in him so passionately- so full of belief and trust in him, where was he now? He hoped Connor had got out alive, the boy had been something of an irritant to him, but he had been truly brilliant in his work. Philip knew he'd used Connor for his own means- no Helen's means! Philip hoped Connor would recover from his duplicity and be able to trust again!

"How could I have treated that boy like that?" he thought "What have I become?" He once again put his head in his hands- sparks of electricity shooting all around him as he stood in the middle of the room.

"He trusted me, and I let him down! I nearly killed him! Matt was right, I didn't really care about him- just about what he could do for me". He paused and thought for a moment, remembering the first time he let Connor down and left him to die- New Dawn had been more important to Philip than the boy- he felt guilty and ashamed as he remembered what happened…

To Be Continued…