Hey guys! Its been a while! Just when I think life is gonna slow down a little, it just speeds back up :l Anyways, I was in the writing mood tonight and I thought I'd update for you guys! I really hope you all like it. Again, I'm writing it very late at night because I have a bad habit of doing that, so please forgive any mistakes. Thank you to all my lovely readers, and extra love for my reviewers, followers, etc. It means so much to me to see what you guys think! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Degrassi.

Clare's POV:

When I awoke in the hospital, everything was silent. The blank walls gave no form of comfort, and the empty chairs before me offered no company. I was alone... again. Sometimes I would talk to myself, just to hear a familiar voice. So far the only people I've seen were the nurses and Eli, but he's only found the time to visit once. I didn't want to be here, with other people taking care of me. I wanted to be at home, locked in my room once more, where at least I could move about as I pleased.

"Clare?" The nurses voice filled my ears, cutting me off from my own thoughts. I looked up at her innocently, trying to look as cheerful as possible in the condition I was in. She walked over and pulled up a small stool next to my bed, holding a small clip board to her chest with papers of all colors attached to it. As soon as she settled herself on the cool leather, she looked at me with a small smile and began talking once more.

"Clare, I would like to speak to you about your mother... would you be willing to listen for a moment? Its rather important."

I nodded my head slightly, looking down at the perfectly white sheets that covered my legs and chest. I didn't want to hear about her. I had no desire to ever talk to her again, but I knew that there was something that I needed to know, whether I wanted to listen or not.

"Good... now, when the dispatchers arrived, they were able to put out the fire and find you and your father... unfortunately..."

She paused and took a deep breath, slowly exhaling and fixing her scrubs. I already knew what she was going to say, but I wanted her to confirm it.

"Unfortunately, when they found your mother, it was already too late. She inhaled too much smoke and... and your mother Clare. I'm afraid she's gone. I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do for you, dear?"

Her tone was soft, and loving. She took my hand and squeezed it gently, as if to try to give me some kind of reassurance that everything was going to be alright. Nothing was going to be alright. Nothing was ever going to be alright.

The tears began to weld up in my eyes, blurring my vision slowly until they finally rolled down my cheeks. I held my breath, not making a single sound or movement. I didn't want the nurse to see me in a time of weakness. The emotions swirled endlessly, sending me through waves of confusion, despair, and anger. Somewhere I felt a tinge of happiness, but it was so subtle that it was almost unrecognizable.

How could she do this? How dare she bring me into this world, knowing damn well that she would have to raise me just to beat me and leave me by myself again. The loneliness swelled again, forcing more tears out of my eyes and onto the hospital gown. After a moment of breakage, I realized that I was still in the company of the nurse.

"Just go..." I said in a tone that was barely above a whisper. My throat burned from holding in all the feelings that were slowly smothering me. I didn't care though. I wasn't going to let this consume me like everything else had. She was gone. She deserved to be gone! I picked up the small vase of flowers sitting on top of the night stand next to me and threw them at the wall, watching as the pieces of glass scattered on the floor. Just like she had done so many times. The nurse rushed back into the room to see what the commotion was about, but I was already up and making my way out of the room before she could get past the shock of my actions.

"Clare? CLARE. CLARE COME HERE. YOU CANT BE OUT OF BED YET ITS NOT SAFE."

I ignored her warnings, blocking everything out except my own thoughts. I had no idea where I was going, but it didn't matter. Anywhere but here was where I wanted to be. Anywhere but that damned room with the empty walls and lonely chairs.

People stared at me from every direction, probably due to the fact that a girl in a hospital gown was running around barefoot muttering profanities under her breath. I paid no attention to their lingering eyes, they didn't matter to me. Suddenly a large hand enclosed my arm with a firm grip, stopping me in my tracks. It was connected to a large man wearing purple scrubs. He was tall, and from what I could tell, he was also very in shape. I struggled with every ounce of power that I had left inside of me, but he only seemed to get stronger and stronger. Soon he had both of my arms behind my back, and I just stood there, sobbing loud enough for anyone to hear.

"Clare!" I heard the nurse call out my name once more, and I looked up at her weakly, allowing her to see the tears fall down my reddened face. She grabbed some tissue from a help desk and wiped my face gently, making sure that she brushed my hair to the side to get a better look at my eyes. Suddenly, she grabbed my head and cradled me in her arms, holding me to her shoulder and rocking back and forth slightly. He soft cooing filled my ear, and I slowly began to loose all ability to stand. She leaned back on the wall and slid us both to the floor gently, allowing me to rest my head in her lap while she continued to run her fingers along my hair.

The man in the purple scrubs stepped back and continued to make himself look busy. Everything around me began to slow back down, and soon my eyes reopened, allowing me to feel the full force of the head ache I'd just given myself. Nothing made sense to me anymore, but I guess nothing ever really made sense. Maybe that's just how life works. Maybe we're put here to figure things out, to put the pieces together. Then when we die, we've made something perfect for someone else.

I sat up slowly, rubbing my fingers across my eyes and looking up slowly at the nurse. Her eyes were comforting, but they were also filled with worry.

"Clare, honey, how about we get you back to your room. Its been a long day. Maybe you need to rest for a bit, ok?" She said sweetly. I nodded my head and allowed her to help me off the floor, looking around nervously at the people who were staring just before. They had all gone back to their business, sorting papers and helping people into their wheel chairs, like nothing had ever happened. The man in purple appeared in front of me again, and gave me a small smile, as if to say he was sorry for trapping me before. I smiled back, not wanting to hold anything against him. That was the least of my worries.

The nurse grabbed my arm and slowly led me back to my room, allowing me to take my time and get to know her a little. I learned that her name was Heather, and she had two kids. One was young, just in the second grade, and the other was a bit older, but not by much. Soon we were at my door, and Heather walked me into the room, leaving the man in the purple scrubs behind her. She led me slowly to my bed, tucking me in tightly and giving my hand one last reassuring squeeze. Her expression was soft, and I couldn't help but think about her kids. What kind of life they had with her. I was happy for them, and jealous at the same time.

She turned and walked out of the room briskly, shutting the door behind her gently and leaving me on my own once again. I took this time to stare at the ceiling, just laying there, thinking about my life. About my dad, and Eli, about everything. I had no idea what to do next. What things were going to be like, or how I was going to deal with this. I was passed the point of crying, but my eyes stilled had a strong burning sensation in them, and my face was a bit sore from wiping my tears so much. Now I was left to fiddle with my blankets, but that was enough for me.

I wished for someone to be there to keep me company, to hold me once more and to tell me that I was going to be fine. I wanted Heather to comfort me again, to make me feel like I had someone to lean on. I knew I would never have that, but it was nice to think about.

I rolled over on my side, staring at the heart monitor beside me, wondering why I didn't feel the IV come out of my arm when I rushed out of the room. Its almost as if I was numb from the pain, but it didn't matter anymore. Suddenly there was another knock at my door, and in he came. The one person I wasn't expecting...

Tell me what ya think! And have a beautiful day!