"I've been pretty quiet til now, but some things are gettin' left out."

- Nick Massi, Jersey Boys

Santana has always hated that first day back at school after the summer break, always dreaded having to walk through those doors once more. Once they've pulled up in the parking lot, she leaves the engine running, her eyes fixed on the building, on the students slowly making their way inside. A couple of them actually look less thrilled to be here than she is. She wonders if Brittany would agree to skipping today instead, taking off, finding somewhere they could just hide away for the day, far away from everything and everyone. The worried glances that Brittany has been shooting in her direction since she picked her up would suggest that she probably would. Of course they'd just be back here tomorrow morning, and she knows then it'd only be harder to force herself to walk inside.

Brittany hasn't said anything since they'd reached McKinley, but now she shifts in the passenger seat, turning to face her. "So, senior year, huh?"

"Yeah, senior year." Somehow up until this point, she'd managed to convince herself that it was all just like old times, picking Brittany up, laughing and singing along to the radio but now they're actually sitting outside, that illusion has shattered and she suddenly doesn't know how to do this.

She can feel Brittany's eyes on her, knows she's waiting for something, she just isn't sure what. She hadn't thought it was possible for things between them to become even more confusing after New York, yet this summer has only gone to prove her wrong. And now she's been left with no clue what it is they're doing, where they're going. She doesn't always mind that though. Sometimes the lack of pressure is nice. She's just not sure how long until Brittany gets tired of all this and starts pushing again, and that will be when they have a problem.

"San..."

"Don't." She isn't even sure what Brittany was going to say, but she is sure she doesn't want to hear it right now. She doesn't want Brittany to say something that will change everything, she isn't ready for that. She doesn't even dare look at her, knowing that's all it will take to break her resolve, for her heart to trick her into thinking she might have a chance this year, a chance with Brittany, a chance to just be herself, no matter how much her brain might scream the opposite, and she just can't handle that. Not yet. She has a plan though. A good plan. A smart plan. Of course she hasn't actually let Brittany in on that plan yet, something she thinks she might want to take care of right now, while she can. "I'm going to rejoin the Cheerios."

She risks a glance over at Brittany now and immediately regrets it when she sees nothing but hurt in her eyes. Brittany stares at her for a moment, then says, "She wanted to shoot me out of a cannon."

Santana quickly looks away, staring out of the driver's window. She hasn't forgotten that, it's been the source of many a nightmare in fact. "I wasn't asking you to come back."

"You don't have to ask, Santana. I thought you'd have known that by now."

There's disappointment in Brittany's voice, something she's heard far too much of lately. She'd hoped that Brittany would come with her, of course she had, but she definitely hadn't planned on asking her to. She's Santana Lopez and she doesn't ask anyone for anything. She'd learned at an early age that that way she can't be disappointed when they inevitability say no.

"What's the big deal? Why does it even matter if you're a cheerleader or not?"

"It just does." She's not sure how to explain it, can't bring herself to tell Brittany that despite everything, nothing has really changed since last year, no matter how much they both wish it had. "It just does."

Brittany doesn't say anything, just stares out the windshield. After a moment though, she reaches across the seat and takes hold of Santana's hand. "Then okay. We rejoin the Cheerios. But can we make sure that Coach Sylvester isn't going to try and kill either of us this year first?"

She's already thought of that. "I'll make it a condition of us coming back. She'll be so desperate to have us save her crappy squad from losing at Nationals again, she'll agree to anything." She brings Brittany's hand to her lips and places a soft kiss against her knuckles, for once managing to ignore the warning bells that are sounding in her head, the ones that tell her that they're in public, that people can see. "Thanks, Britt." She knows that Brittany doesn't understand why this is so important to her, but the fact that Brittany will follow her anyway, means everything to her right now.

"What about Quinn?"

She frowns. "What about Quinn?"

"Don't we need her too?"

Santana thinks it's highly unlikely that Quinn Fabray would ever rejoin the Cheerios, not judging by the way she'd looked last week when they'd run into her outside a convenience store. "I don't think Coach would let her join, not until she's over her Lindsay Lohan phase anyway. Besides we won Nationals Sophomore year without her. She ain't all that."

"We did have Kurt then though."

She has a point and Santana briefly wonders if maybe they could convince Hummel to join again this year. He could probably use the street cred now that he's back at McKinley. It does seem like a lot of hassle though. "We don't need either of them. We've got you and nobody's got moves like you, Britt."

"That is true." Brittany grins at her, and Santana has to fight to keep from melting right there in her seat.

"See, we got this."

"Yeah, we do." She's missed this, when being around Brittany felt like the most natural thing in the world. She still can't quite believe she's been able to get that back.

"San?"

"Yeah?"

Brittany doesn't look quite as convinced as she is that this is a good idea though. "If Coach does let us back on the squad..."

"When Coach lets us back on the squad."

"When Coach lets us back on the squad, things aren't just going to go back to how they were last year, are they?"

Seeing as last year was possibly the worst year of her life so far, Santana hopes not, but she knows the danger of making promises to Brittany that she can't keep. "B, I'm trying, okay? I'm trying." Anything else is too much right now and she hopes that Brittany can understand that. She guesses she must do because she leans across and presses a quick kiss to Santana's cheek. "What was that for?"

Brittany shrugs. "Being you."

She doesn't know what to say to that, she is pretty sure she's blushing, though she just hopes Brittany hasn't noticed that she's left her tongue tied. Again. The slight smile tugging at the corner of Brittany's mouth would suggest otherwise though. "So, senior year, huh?"

"Yeah, senior year." She glances down at their still joined hands and thinks maybe it just might be their year afterall. "Bring it on, Britt, bring it on."

Quinn had just assumed that they would have given up after the last attempt at trying to talk some sense into her. So she's more than a little surprised when Santana shows up under the bleachers again. "You just can't stay away, can you?"

"Can we talk?" Santana gestures at the rest of the Skanks. "In private?"

She almost tells her to go to hell, but something about the way Santana wraps her arms around herself, bites down on her bottom lip slightly, stops her and she sighs, climbing to her feet and leading Santana round towards the front of the bleachers. She starts making her way up the steps, heading for the opposite end where her new friends won't overhear them, leaving Santana to trail after her. It brings back memories of freshman year, back when Santana acted as her right hand man, followed her without question. Sometimes she misses those days. Sometimes she doesn't. Once she reaches the top, she sits down and just stares at Santana. She doesn't plan on making this easy for her, whatever this is.

Santana stays standing, her hands now shoved in her pockets. "I need a favor."

She had been expecting another lecture, another heartfelt speech, well as heartfelt as Santana is capable of, but she hadn't been expecting this. "What kind of favor?"

"The kind that involves arson."

That little voice in the back of Quinn's head is telling her to walk away, that she wants nothing to do with whatever it is Santana's planning, that it can't be anything good. However she's gotten very good at ignoring that voice lately. "And what exactly are we burning down?"

Santana drops her eyes to the floor. "Coach Sylvester wants all the Glee club's stupid purple pianos destroyed. Becky's already taken one out with that food fight. Now I have to step up and do the next."

"What happened to Glee club being the best part of your day?" She can't keep the sneer out of her voice.

It does make Santana look up though, and Quinn finds herself on the end of a Lopez death glare. "I don't have a fucking choice, Q. I need the Cheerios this year." She moves to towards Quinn, sinking down onto the bench beside her. "It's part of the plan, Glee club isn't."

She wants to ask what plan this is, but something tells her that she won't get an answer, maybe she no longer has the right to even ask. Despite that moment between them in that hotel room in New York, they're not exactly friends anymore. "Why are you asking me?"

Santana shrugs. "I can't ask Brittany. I won't make her choose between Glee and Cheerios. I won't do that to her again. And who else am I gonna ask?"

She's never seen Santana look so miserable. Normally this is just the kind of destruction that Santana revels in, usually she's reeking havoc just because she can. She isn't sure how to take this new Santana. She wonders if maybe she isn't the only one who's changed this summer.

"I wasn't the only one who dropped off the face of the earth for a while this summer, was I?"

Santana looks up at her, frowns. "What are you talking about?"

She pauses, not sure what she even hopes to achieve by bringing it up, but as much as she hates to admit it, it's been eating away at her. "After New York, I thought that maybe, I don't know, that maybe it could be like old times. You, me and Brittany just hanging out like we used to. So I went over to your house."

Santana tenses at that information. "When?"

"Second week of the summer vacation. But your mom told me that she didn't know where you were. That you'd taken off, just left them a note to say you needed some time away from Lima." She swears Santana is holding her breath. "Whatever had happened, you had her really concerned about you."

Santana laughs, but it's hollow. "Yeah, right, I'm sure she was just beside herself with worry."

She decides to let that go, has no desire to compare notes on poor mother figures, even if she knows for a fact she'd win that one hands down. "So anyway, I texted Brittany to ask her what was going on, because we're friends, right? The three of us? And I get a reply that just said, she's fine, Quinn, just leave it. And so I did. Whatever was going on, you clearly didn't need me. So you know what, I didn't need you two either. I was just fine on my own. Still am. I don't need any of you."

She expects Santana to call her out on her bullshit, it's what they do for each, what they've always done, and she's more disappointed than she likes when Santana doesn't rise to the bait. Instead it's just met with heavy silence and she has no intention of being the one to break it, instead she keeps her eyes on the empty field in front of them.

"She didn't tell me." Santana still has her eyes on the ground. "Brittany. She didn't tell me. About the text."

"Would it have made a difference if she had?"

Santana is silent for a moment, as if she's thinking about her answer. Eventually she looks up at Quinn. "Honestly?"

Quinn nods.

"Probably not."

She's tempted again to ask just what went on over the summer, but she has a feeling Santana will only refuse to answer. "It's just, you turn up like this whenever you want something. I'm sick of it."

"Then I should go. I've got better things to do than waste my time asking you for help." She jumps to her feet and starts to walk away, but Quinn reaches out and grabs her arm to stop her. Santana quickly breaks out of her grip, but she does stop. "I didn't say I wouldn't help. I'm just saying I'm not doing this for you, I don't owe you anything. Just as long as we're clear on that."

"Yeah, we're more than clear on that." They stare each other down for a moment, then Santana just says, "I'll let you know the plan once I've come up with it then, okay?"

"Okay."

Santana offers a tight smile and then heads down the bleachers. She stops a few steps down though and turns back. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry." She doesn't elaborate on that, but she doesn't need to.

"Me too."

Santana nods and starts to leave, but Quinn can't stop from shouting after her. "Hey, Santana?"

"Yeah?"

"Whatever was going on with you, is everything okay now?" She wishes she didn't care, could just cut them all out of her life, but some part of her still refuses to let go, tells her she can't be happy living like this.

Santana stares at her for a moment, and Quinn can't read the look in her eyes. "I think I'm doing a hell of a lot better than you are right now."

She takes that as a no. She suspected as much from the fact that Santana is even here asking for her help in the first place, but they're not friends, not any more, so she just nods and lets her walk away.

Brittany's thankful to find Santana's car still in the parking lot after Glee practice has finished. Santana is her ride home, but she had half expected her to have left her stranded here after Mr Shue had thrown her out of Glee club. When she realises Santana isn't waiting in her car, she turns around and heads back into the school. It doesn't take her long to track her down. She finds her in the choir room, sitting at the piano, her hands running absently over the keys. It should surprise her, seeing that she was only kicked out of this very room a couple of hours ago, but it doesn't.

She stays in the doorway, not sure if she should be interrupting. "You okay?"

"Yeah, fine." Santana doesn't even look up.

Brittany takes a step closer to her, but then stops, unsure of what she's allowed to do in this scenario. What she wants to do is walk over to her, wrap her arms around her and never let go, but that's exactly the kind of thing that will still sometimes freak Santana out, and that's when she pushes her away and then it's two steps forward, three steps back all over again. As much as she loves dancing with Santana, that's one dance she's grown tired of.

"I knew he'd be disappointed in me, I just didn't expect him to kick me out over it. We've done worse. God, we were spying for Coach Sylvester for most of Sophomore year and he did nothing about that. Why get tough now?"

Brittany shrugs. It doesn't make any more sense to her than to Santana. "Maybe he's finally growing a pair?"

That earns her a raised eyebrow but it doesn't make Santana laugh as she'd been hoping it would.

She enters the room, walking over to join her, and leans against the piano. "I wasn't sure what to do, when you left. I wanted to come straight after you but..."

"B, no, this was my thing. You love Glee club, I knew you wouldn't want to hurt them or those stupid pianos."

"I would still have helped you. You know that right?"

"I know. That's why I didn't ask."

She wishes she had asked, or that maybe she'd talked Santana out of it. She knows she could have done so, getting Santana to do things she doesn't want to is like her superpower or something, well some things. It's just she's been trying really hard not to abuse that power lately, to try and remember that whole 'With great power comes great responsibility' thing that Spiderman's so big on. "So now what?"

"So now nothing. It's no big deal. Not like Glee Club was gonna be much help to me this year anyway, right?"

Brittany's pretty sure Santana doesn't actually believe that any more than she does, if it was true then she wouldn't be sat here in this room, but she knows enough to not point that out right now. She just adds it to that really long list in her head that's titled 'Lies Santana needs to believe in order to function.'

"How did you get Quinn to help you?"

She doesn't miss the fact that Santana tenses slightly. "I guess we can just add pyromania to Quinn's latest issues."

"Wait, what does her love of pyramids have to do with it?"

"Fire, Britt, fire."

"Oh."

Santana sighs, rubs at her forehead. "I think it's partly my fault."

She doesn't think that Santana's talking about the piano now, but she knows that if she waits Santana will explain herself.

"Do you remember Quinn texting you this summer?"

The question throws her, she avoids thinking about the summer as much as she can, those early weeks are still something of a blur. "Maybe." She does, vaguely, but at the time, it hadn't seemed important and she's not sure why it suddenly would be now.

"She mentioned it today, that's all."

"Should I have told you?" She doesn't think it would have done any good if she had. Besides she had at least replied to Quinn, let her know not to worry, so that has to count for something, right?

"I thought we told each other everything?"

"I thought we didn't do that any more?" She can't help the slight hint of bitterness that seeps into her voice, but it's senior year and nothing has changed. She's just not sure either of them are going to be able to keep the promises they'd made over the summer.

"I'm worried about her. She needed us, and we were too wrapped up in my problems, in us, that we weren't there to have her back like we should have been."

She thinks Quinn's issues started long before this summer, long before she choose to dye her hair pink and make a new circle of friends. "It's not our fault. You've tried talking to her. And we'll try again, but none of this is on us."

"It feels like it is. We're the Unholy Trinity, or supposed to be. You, me and Quinn. Isn't that how it's supposed to be?"

She wants to shout no, that it isn't, that's it always supposed to have just been the two of them, that somehow Quinn got mixed into the equation at some point, but that she never belonged there. Sometimes she thinks it's Quinn's presence that has stopped them from being where they're supposed to be, and maybe she resents Quinn a little bit because of that, but once again these are the kind of things she doesn't dare say, that she can't say while they're trapped in this limbo they've been in since New York. Instead she just shrugs.

There's silence for a moment, until Brittany can't hold the words inside any longer. "I'm not leaving Glee club."

Santana's head snaps up at that. "I didn't expect you to."

Brittany drops her eyes on the floor, but she looks back up when she feels Santana take hold of her hand..

"Britt, did you really think I'd want you to do that?"

She doesn't know, doesn't feel like she knows anything any more, she's no longer able to predict what Santana's going to do, what she's going to want, and that scares her.

"Brittany, I..."

She doesn't let Santana get any further, instead just leans forward and presses their lips together. Santana's still for a moment, but is soon kissing her back, wrapping the hand that isn't currently in Brittany's around her waist and pulling her closer.

They soon break apart though, and Brittany doesn't miss the fact that Santana's eyes dart over to the door, that familiar panic visible in her eyes. She doesn't let go of her hand though, in fact Brittany is sure her grip even tightens as she stares up at her, her eyes dark. "Can we get out of here?"

Brittany barely has time to nod before Santana is on her feet and practically dragging her out the door.