Chapter 43: A Mother Lost

"How are they?"

The sound of Bubblegum's voice eases its way into the comfortable silence, and drifts away gently on the breeze that tickles the back of Marceline's neck. It floats of into the rays of that false sun, singular and not real enough to burn, yet real enough flush Marceline's body with a soft warmth. Ever present and perfect, just like the candy girl sitting next to her in all her youth. And it's a miracle the vampire can see her, hold her, love her still with a person to love, not just a gravestone to shove painful memories and aching hearts onto. She's here. She's with me. And the thoughts of a million million lifetimes to be had and a million million moments more stretching on for eternity like the sound of her voice floating away distracts the Vampire Queen from exactly what it was her sugar sweet lover said.

So Bubblegum speaks again.

"Marceline? How are they?"

And Marceline starts, because she knew this was a conversation they had to have, and undoubtedly a conversation that they would have many, many more times in the future. Because their children will live, and live, and live, and for who knows how long. If I'm immortal, and the candy people can live indefinitely if they choose...what does that make them? And it's something they had talked about before children, and something they had talked to their children about. But here, in the afterlife, sitting in the most beautiful Dead World Marceline had ever seen, it must seem like more than an eternity to Bubblegum. So she answers the best she can.

"They're...confused, I think." And it doesn't make sense to say because being with them now, and being in the body she's in, Marceline is confused too. But being here with Bonni...that makes sense. Which is perhaps why she finds herself running away to- not running away, just visiting- Bonni's Dead World more often than she finds herself down in Ooo with her children. But bubblegum looks at her expectantly and Marceline sighs into herself because Bubblegum knows everything. She's a Globbing genius, after all. "Seeing me like this confuses them. Young or whatever, you know? And...Simon is doing fine with the Candy Kingdom, a real chip off of your block. Adeline is a Hellian, as always. Prefers my place to yours, I guess. I...I haven't seen her much..."

Because Addy spends as much time away from home as Marci does. Only without a mother to run off to like Marceline has her wife. "They don't like it when I look so young, so I age up for them y'know? Only like...it has lost some of the effect."

"They love you." Bubblegum says, because she can hear the insecurity in Marceline's voice and can feel the tension only a few inches away from her as they both lay on the silky smooth grass and stare at the blue blue sky and the white white clouds.

"They love you." Marceline says, and it stings her like a thousand suns and all of a sudden, she craves the shade and the dank and the dark. Places where she belongs. Not beautiful places like this. She gets up and starts walking around the small world to the little cottage where Bubblegum spends her times. Where she will spend her eternity. Bubblegum follows on the walk.

"Dear. Marci. They love you. They...they don't know what to make of all of this." She says. And it sounds too much like a lie on Marceline's pointed ears, even if she knows it isn't.

"Don't, Bonni. They love you. They grieve you. They miss you. They never loved me quite like you and they'll never be without me. It isn't like they're going to lose me now that Addy runs the Night-O-Sphere and I don't have to go there. It isn't the same." And Marceline hurts, because as much as she wanted to be the best mother, she knows deep down it was always Bubblegum. Bubblegum who wanted the kids so much she altered her body on a fundamental level. Bubblegum with the scientific know-how to make sure these kids were theirs. Bubblegum with the tough job of birth. It was always Bubblegum.

"But they are losing you." The candy girl says. And it stops Marceline in her tracks. "You've been here far more than you've been there. I love you, Marceline, and will love you always. But we have eternity on this little World. You and they only get so much time down there. Down in Ooo. They'll join me I'm sure when the time comes to but...but then it's only this. No wonder, no exploring, no portals, no adventure. It will be an amazing, simple eternity. But they are grieving the loss of one mother, while the other hides and runs away because she thinks she doesn't know how to handle it."

And Marceline turns to look at her with reverence. The trust in Bubblegum's eyes is absolute, and so is the reprimand. She looks too beautiful and Marceline knows she's dead because nothing worldly could be as breathtaking as Bubblegum. But then, that was how she felt down in Ooo anyway. So Marceline kisses her with the passion of a renewed woman, grasping at what was left of a new life. Her family was down there and they needed her. Her children had lost Bubblegum, but she'd be damned if they lost her too. Marceline kisses her, and the sweetness invades her senses and the pink makes her fangs itch an everything in her begs her to stay, stay, stay forever here like this and love her on the grass; but the vampire pulls away, leaving a slightly breathless Bubblegum. Marceline nods, smiles, and turns to go to her other home.

"I hope it is a long time before I see you again, Marci. My Marci." Bubblegum says, and it never sounded like such a good thing before.


The Night-O-Sphere is spick and span. Marceline has never seen it so orderly. Perhaps it was foolish to say Simon was the most like Bubblegum. And sure, Adeline has to clean up some ruckus every now and then, but the supreme order of all isn't questioned. Not even by Hunson, who almost willingly bows down to his granddaughter, who he spoils rotten.

It's sitting atop a throne where Marceline finds her. A throne the vampire doesn't really remember ever existing before.

"Nice throne." Is the only thing she can think to say at the moment.

"Grandfather got it for me." Comes the terse reply.

"I'm not surprised."

And there is a silence that stretches on for what seems like the length of the entire royal hall. "What are you doing here, mother?" And Marceline can hear the discomfort. The ache. The longing. And she wonders how she didn't hear it before. How all she had heard was disdain and lack of care and grief over Bubblegum.

So she walks right up the steps to the chair itself, pulls her young- so so young- daughter up out of it and holds her. Holds her until the whispered apologies fall from her lips quick as the tears that fall from her daughters. Holds her and tells her everything will be alright and she loves her and she'll see her mother again. Holds her and begs forgiveness for being gone. For being absent when she and her brother needed her most and for everything, for everything, because Marceline feels there are too many things to be sorry for in her existence that words cannot contain all of them.

"I missed you, Momma." Addy whispers into her electric flesh, and her voice sounds too much like Bubblegum's.

"I know, baby. I know."


She wishes the Candy Kingdom wasn't so pastel. It's dark and even so she feels out of place. She wishes for the billionth time she could roam in the sun, because sneaking into the castle at night, even if the castle is still partly hers, just so she can see her son is kind of weird. She slips past the Banana guards and she feels 1000 all over again, instead of the nearly 1100 she has on her now. She floats through the familiar hallways, knowing exactly what her son will be doing at the late hour. She gets to the appropriate door, and wills it to creak open, too nervous to touch it. Of both of her children, Marceline knows Simon isn't quick to forgive, and loved his Mom with fierceness.

"I know you're there, Momma." He says into his paperwork, and he sounds too much like Bubblegum.

"Hello, my little prince." Marceline whispers into the shadows. He liked her demon voice when he was younger. Now it seems it simply tires him, and he sighs heavily before turning to face her. He got the pinker of the skins and the softer of the features and Marceline's heart aches for him because he has to look in the mirror every day and see his mother.

"Why are you here?" He asks, standing to his full height, hand on his chair, and he looks every bit the king Bubblegum always said he'd be.

The vampire knows simply rushing in and holding him won't work-it never has- so she gathers her courage to speak. "I came to apologize, Simon."

And he looks at her like she's a foreign thing. Like she needs to be opened and measured and dissected in order for him to understand. "For what?" He tests. And Marceline knows with every inch of her that it is a test.

"For everything, my boy. For your Mom. For me. For leaving." She says. And she hopes it's the right answer, because it's the best she can do looking at his face that is just like Bubblegum's. And even if Marceline has the privilege to see her whenever she wants, even if they all will spend eternity together, the ache of seeing the love of her life die in this very castle will never fade away completely. "You look just like her." She says, more to herself than to him, but he hears.

"I know," he says, "you told me every day when I was young. Said I was like a miniature Bubblegum." And the sadness and hurt invades every syllable.

"You are everything your Mom could have ever wanted and more." Marceline gives, because she doesn't know if they had said it enough when Bubblegum was alive. The original candy princess was swollen with pride for her children, but now, thinking back, Marceline just can't remember if they said it enough.

"And you?" he asks. Another test. A test too easy to pass.

"You are everything I ever dreamed of. Everything I never dared dream of. You and your sister. And I'm so sorry. I've never been good with the sentimental junk. And I never felt like I knew what to do. But I love you, Simon. That is all I can give. For the rest of our lives together."

Simon studies her for a long moment, and Marceline is afraid that her son will hold his sadness, just before he grabs her tightly. "For the rest of eternity then."

And she's glad he knows, that they all know. When the time comes, the Abadeer/Bubblegum family will all reside together in the Dead World. But in the meantime, Marceline spends more time down in Ooo, then in some residential eternity.

It's okay though. It makes the rarer visits to her Bubblegum all the more...interesting, anyway.