Hello reviewers, followers and those out there who like this little and simple story!

Thank you for making me go back to it and remember what I wanted to do with it.

From the bottom of my heart I thank you. This is for all of you.

And for Katherine2710 I don't know if you are still interested in being my beta. I hope for you to read this chapter and decide then! Either way I appreciate your kind offering ;) and just tell me about it, ok?

YOU ALL CAUSED THIS ONE :D and I hope that it is good and you still like the story so far, I know it took a lot of time for me to update and I had to read the whole story again to connect again and remember what I wanted to do with it. Luckily for me I remember now and I even have other ideas related to Meg and Castiel when this story is completed :) and seriously I hope this chapter at least to rise to your expectations.

THANK YOU and I see you soon if you're up to it :D!

Chapter Nine "Observations"

There was a tiny little moment when Meg wanted, really wanted, to leave the crazy angel there. While the minutes run late into the night and the only sounds he let out were the same muffled and strangled sobs, she strangely couldn't force herself to mock him in any way or push him away from her. And it turned worse when he suddenly grabbed her and his arms were around her rigid and nauseous meat suit, sensations born from her surprise and shock at the gooey action. She knew he was using her as a support and feeling utterly bothered she let him this once. She stayed there with him quietly, sitting on her folded legs, which by the way were getting cramped, thank you very much, and with his head on her left shoulder, his face against the nape of her neck where she could felt his revolting tears falling and heavy breathing giving her the creeps all over. Castiel remained sitting there like a dead weight as her own meat suit was used as a wall for his body. She didn't dare to hug him back and her balled fists were tense resting on her lap. She couldn't find in herself the desire to comfort him either even when she knew that he needed it. But she was so damn pissed off with him and his stupid and childish behavior due to all the tiring and annoying day that she only wanted to smack him strongly, put him in the car and throw him on his bed. She wanted to go to a bar and have some fun to forget this awful and awkward moment. She wondered if she wasn't the crazy one for wanting to help the angel to vent out his feelings.

Anyway, she couldn't even begin to dream to do that now when she was sore all over. Trying to ignore the sobbing angel resting against her she distracted herself musing about the last time when she had felt so exhausted and pained. It wasn't that she didn't enjoy it. She had learned to enjoy bringing pain and to enjoy receiving pain. What irked her now was precisely the thing about the one who had caused it all this time around. Meg didn't understand Castiel's game at first, she didn't think he could have it in him now, that manipulative, secretive and ambivalent spark but she wasn't surprised either, he had learned to lie, to hide things and say half-truths, just like the humans he adoredso much did naturally like breathing when he made that deal with Crowley. The little winged boy wanted punishment so badly that it didn't matter what disguise this took and from whom it came. It didn't matter if it came in the form of harsh words and devastating facts, of useless fights and hurtful wounds. He was so anguished by his own decisions and actions that he didn't care if he needed to rile up and enrage her forcing Meg to kick his hot precious little ass. Before in the time when she wasn't screwed with the fucking weird tattoo in her lower back, she would have endured a fight a lot better than she was doing it now and that besides the fact of being Clarence the Martyr the one who had put her in this position made this strikingly warped and special. Despite everything and foremost her complaining the result had been quite worthy to achieve. Watching the pitiable angel picking and throwing rocks and breaking into oblivion the glass from the windows, angered and confused, saddened and aching, it had been so deliciously thrilling and exciting for her. For gaining that she could forgive his idiotic little game, his futile and weak attempt at fighting her and not knowing the dirty little secret he and Lisa Braeden shared yet. She couldn't help to take pleasure and savor every time he punched, kicked and slapped her, every time he counterattacked her movements and every time he broke her skin and her weakened meat suit bled. All those pretty little things were sweet caresses for her. The bruises his hands and fists had left were gentle battle scars not permanent in her borrowed body but memorable in her inner self, burning traces left behind in beautiful blue and black paint. Every time she punched, kicked and slapped him it had been wonderfully liberating and in some twisted and stimulating way so close to being kissing him fiercely until his lips would have been swollen and were melted on hers.

However the rare thing about this was that some tiny little part of her felt horrendously awkward and restless with the entire situation at hand. There was some sizzling feeling walking strangely on her physical skin and awakening and touching her unnatural nerves and she didn't like it and she didn't understand it. So she blamed it on the nearness of the broken insane angel and his freaking bright nature. Meg blamed on him the way her chest felt heavier at his miserable sight and the noticeable absence of her sharp dark tongue and snarky taunting words.

Rolling her eyes tiredly she waited for Castiel to stop his corny and sugary sobbing and sighed deeply looking distantly at the surrounding area. His sobbing was slowly stopping with every deep and shaky breath he took and his meat suit soon wasn't trembling so hard as before. In their complicit silence, the demon couldn't help to feel uneasy with the freaking vibe in the air. She hadn't wanted the whole experiment to end with the cheesy angel crying on her shoulder and hugging her, at least not hugging her because of this and not because of the funny and uncomplicated way she wanted him hugging her. This was way over her original plan. She would rather have the angry and struggling Castiel than the sobbing and broken Castiel. It was your idea, so you have to deal with it; she chastised herself in spite of her own disgust and discomfort with the outcomeof the angel's anger management. It had been half and half, it seemed, one half satisfying her obscure desire to see the angel suffering at her feet by her own doing and the other half twitching uncomfortable seeing the angel baring his feelings openly in front of her in form of pained tears and needy comfort that she wasn't going to give and couldn't handle.

So taking all this in account she was astounded and shocked when she found her own damn right hand patting uncomfortably the angel's back. Hissing through seethed teeth and clenching her jaw repulsed with herself, her own stupefied and amazed expression couldn't have been more discordant in comparison to the regrettable gesture from her part. Castiel wasn't sobbing anymore and was quiet as a tomb breathing softly over her neck's skin giving her odd running shivers. She felt him getting conscious about what happened and especially what he had done. She could guess it from the way his body stiffened little by little and how he didn't dare to look her in the eye yet. His arms that had been embracing her desperately during his short breakdown slowly softened their strength and were there barely surrounding casually her meat suit. She caught him drying his closed eyes with the back of his hand watching him by the corner of her entertained gleaming eyes. This is a creepy and unusual predicament to be. I wonder which one of us feels more out of place now. She remembered her own disobedient and damn rebel hand and stopped her patting brusquely trying to stay pestered at the angel for the trouble he caused her. Her hand went back eerily to her side resting on her lap once again as Castiel inhaled and exhaled air like if he hadn't been breathing before.

She could have spent more time dealing and musing this but without warning she felt something strange shifting in the nocturnal atmosphere and it wasn't Castiel's closeness this time. She narrowed her eyes watching discreetly through shadows and the last dying daylight and she could have sworn then that there was someone else with them, observing in silence. And the thing that she didn't like at all was the fact that she could felt it in spite of her current state. So the presence, whoever it was, didn't mind that either of them or both could know about it or deliberately was showing itself off with subtle wish to do so.

"Someone is watching us."

Meg listened to the husky and deep voice of the angel and wasn't surprised that he had felt it too. Probably he was in a better position to do it. The demon nodded still piercing the falling darkness with her inquisitive eyes and calm expression but inwardly irritated scowl. Castiel looked up in all his seriousness and business's face and discreetly as her looked around knitting his eyebrows and searching for whatever it was alerting his angelic radar, Meg guessed. The angel finally let her go and the demon was aware that he was fighting against his own mind just by glancing at his blue haunted eyes. He was making an effort to stay in the moment. Both stood up quietly and softly and kept staring at the other like if they were chatting nicely and piercing distractedlyat their surroundings for a while. The thing, whatever it was, was still there, like if it was taunting them with their inability to find it or really see it. Or perhaps it hadn't noticed that they were aware of it if it had fallen in their trap of discretion and acting. Meg then knew that she needed to put things in perspective and order priorities. She couldn't be now infuriated with the dorky angel when she needed him to protect both of them. She hadn't forgotten her cursed limitations and even when Castiel wore a tattooed sigil somehow blocking his magical shit, he could access to his fairy dust to protect her. She could fight; she wasn't going to go down like some idiotic and boring damsel in distress. She could be later all angry with him and have revenge if she wanted it. So she smirked with scheming eyes and pulled Castiel towards her grabbing him by his jacket. The angel stared at her for the first time since his humiliating meltdown confused and stressed. It was obvious to Meg that he didn't want to look her in the eye yet by the way he seemed uncomfortable and somehow beautifully funny in his shame. His body was all tensed up.

"Chill out, Clarence." She whispered seductive looking up at his distraught and earnest face. "Let's keep pretending we didn't notice it, alright?" Meg then gave him a quick and playful kiss on the lips. "Let's see if it follows us. So pretend we're watching around because we want to do nasty and dirty things and we don't know if here is the best place to get in the other's pants."

Castiel seemed to give a second thought at her reasoning. She could observe perfectly his unease, dislike, stress and worry about the whole thing and she found adorably sexy his reaction at her choice of words. His body was so stiff it could have been broken like a stick. She sniggered secretly. But he soon stoically followed her lead and with creased brow pulled Meg into his arms totally surprising her and embraced her strong and tight causing the demon to almost lose her balance if he wouldn't have grabbing her. She smirked childishly finding fun in it and the angel reacted tilting his head in that way that was so Castiel, and landing his lips on her left cheek smoothly and close to her own longing lips he rubbed gingerly her cheek with his nose. The sickening cuteness and awkwardly inexperience of his movement amused her greatly and confused her enough to look perplexed this time. Usually he was the one looking like that.

Meg recovered quickly from it and ignoring the little moment swayed her meat suit along with his playfully grinning and chuckling, keeping subtle watch just like surely Castiel was doing in his comically sweet and embarrassed act of someone getting ready to make out and probably getting laid. Still acting like a fucking horny teenager she pulled away from him and took his right hand leading the way back to their car. The angel followed suit her perfectly acting despite his common weirdness in general and both strolled with long strides along the dusty ground till they reached their destination. Still pretending they climbed into the car and Meg immediately took the steering wheel and started the machine glancing back through the rear-view mirror discreetly with faked calm and happy expression. Castiel on his part was looking distractedly tranquil and taciturn through his window back at the old and empty building with mild interest. When they were finally on the road and she noticed that at least no car was following them she sighed between tiredness and annoyance. She had thought that they had some sort of advantage after escaping the mental palace but obviously whoever was behind all was chasing them and was pretty good at it. Thinking that maybe they were always watched since their fleeing caused her fury but especially worry to build up in tidal waves. This isn't looking good.

"I apologize for not noticing it before."

Meg looked askance still pensive and scowling at the angel with intrigue. There was that something in his blue eyes telling her that he was making a big effort to stay in reality and put aside in whatever way he could the madness and guilt raging within his exhausted and shredded mind. He was staring ahead totally in his former role of angel soldier and by the way he was picking fidgety at one of his jacket's sleeve, Meg was sure he was still feeling ashamed and humiliated for his actions back at the desolated and crumpling building. She would be it if it was the other way around. Probably her pride would have been shattered and her good name would have been destroyed if she had some sort of mental breakdown in front of any damn and noisy cloud hopper. She half smiled with taunting dark eyes.

"Look at you Clarence. You hadn't fled to crazy town. Good for you."

The sarcasm was dripping dangerously with her unforgettable anger at the feathery ass on the passenger's seat. She had set her priorities and that was true and she knew what was important now, nevertheless that didn't mean that her smart brain would let go of it so easily. Castiel shifted uneasy on his seat lowering his eyes thoughtful. She basked in it like some sunflower drinking the sun's light. You are so pretty when you're so vulnerable, hot stuff.

"I'm… sorry for what happened there." He paused and shocked his head and Meg knew that it was more a reaction to some crappy thing happening inside his head than not knowing what to say. "I didn't want to involve you in any way and less cause you more trouble than the one I giving you. You were right back at the hotel. I'm just a job and you're doing it the best way you could, I can say that. No matter what reasons drove you to accept Dean and Sam's petition to take care of me you're taking care of me. It won't happen again."

The demon remained caught off guard and blank mind due to two reasons in fact. First one, the angel was talking perfectly and in the minutes she was listening to his little speech, she almost forgot that he was partially insane. Second one, the angel in question had turned to stare at her in that intense, odd and peculiar way he stared at anyone and he wasn't looking daggers at her and he wasn't just saying it only for the sake of their particular situation and forced relationship. His bare sincerity was clearly seen through his tired and old eyes despite his grave seriousness and apparent nagging little disagreement to stay with her, she supposed, after all, she felt it too, plenty told to her in his facial expression. They were together in this against their will at the mere end. If they could have chosen she was pretty sure that neither of them had chosen this, right?

"I'm not ungrateful. I don't want to be ungrateful."

He added turning his eerie eyes back to the front and on the road. Meg chuckled ironically and went on driving glancing back at him and at the road from time to time with perfect synchrony.

"You think I'm doing my job the best I can, love?"

"Yes." His quick answer threw her off balance strangely. This wasn't the first time in the short moment they were together after his meltdown and it nagged her. Her eyebrows shot up curiously. Castiel wasn't even looking at her. "I don't know if any other demon would have gone these lengths to keep me away from harm's way even if it was part of a deal. I recognize that."

Meg nodded thinking and not really knowing what to say to that. And again she was speechless thanks to feathers hot pants. And it nagged her once more. But going into the deep of his words Meg could get the truth when she put aside her own weird observations. The mere fact bore naked between both right now was to know that the corny angel trusted in her and that took her aback not expecting it to occur ever even in a small amount. But now she knew that in some sort of weird form Castiel trusted in her at least partially concerning their current situation and the deal she had done with Moose and Squirrel, according to Crowley's appreciation of the Winchesters. Not bad for a fucking prick like Crowley. He knew that she was aware of what was at stake for both on the long run and that they were together in this. After a long pause in rare quietness, especially coming for someone as forthcoming as Meg, Castiel watched her for a short moment by the corner of his eyes stoic as always and Meg of course, felt it perfectly. When didn't she feel his eyes on her? She couldn't explain it and guessed it was probably the angel and demon thing.

"Do I have something in my face, Clarence?"

She asked controlling her annoyance and gathering with all her might the patience she had forced to grow within her since she was around the lunatic choir boy. Castiel blinked impossibly slow, a feat that gave her the creeps by the way, and then his eyes drifted away from her for some seconds. Then his piercing look was on her again and Meg could see his inner fight taking shape in the details of his haunted and tortured blue orbs. She smirked tense and trying to look calm and entertained with the possibility of what could happen if the angel lost the battle when in fact she wasn't feeling calm at all and much less entertained. She didn't want to drag a crackpot angel again.

"You're not going to blow up again, do you? Or lose your mind, right?"

He shook his head and turned to face the road once more trying to relax in his seat breathing profoundly and keeping his weary and unblinking eyes on the ceiling. Meg studied him silently with narrowed dark eyes trying to understand his state of mind and mood. Till now he was doing fine, in fact, he was better that she had expected it after her little experiment and she supposed that maybe the thing about being followed had focused somehow the soldier inside the worn out angel. Better for us, anyway. Soon they were going to be in the town again and they would have to pack their things and quickly take care of their battle wounds. They couldn't stay there more time even when she wanted to rest a while. They couldn't afford a chance to be caught just because she wasn't feeling strong as always and the angel looked like crap due to her kicking easily his ass. They needed to be on the road and probably in some hours they would find a safe spot to rest a while. She relaxed her aching body too driving calmly and wondering about the one behind this stupid persecution. Whoever it was had fed her up. She was going to rip it apart delightfully and with all her willing and wanting, oh yes. She couldn't help to wonder about this whole stupid stuff. Why weren't they followed right now? This seemed like a fucking damn game where they didn't know the rules to play it right. Were they followed by Leviathans, Angels, Demons or Hunters? She sighed thinking what possibility could be the worst for them to fight and if she wasn't pondering in other theories she couldn't picture in the moment. Castiel was surely a powerful and praiseful thing to have in hands despite his unstable mental state. An angel was way over the top for any creature walking on Earth or down there. And of course, upstairs he was wanted too. On the other hand, she maybe wasn't as important as him but she had her enemies and some could get advantage or revenge having her. She stopped her train of thought that wasn't leading her anywhere because it wasn't the time to lose sight of priorities and they were arriving at the town anyway and out of the blue she felt a soft tugging at her jacket and without losing attention on the road she glanced down frowning curiously at the pressure she felt there.

She stared unblinking at Castiel's hand which was casually holding onto her by grabbing a little part of her jacket in, what she could only think of, some weird reassurance's act or some cheesy thing like that. Meg looked up at him astonished in spite of her supposed expectations concerning the odd angel's common behavior and found him with his eyes totally closed unmoving in his seat. Slowly like if she had been caught with her hand on the cookie jar, she turned her attention back at the road facing the lights of the approaching town and not dwelling in the eeriness of it because now she somehow understood that as much as she needed him for some or other reason, the angel needed her too in his warped and delusional world for some or other reason. The problem was that she didn't like it and she couldn't understand the reason behind that dislike. She blamed it on the fact that he was an angel again and she a demon and it was the natural order of things to feel aversion towards the other and find any interaction between them like a lethal allergy that attracted and repulsed according to the situations. And this one definitely repulses me as hell. But secretly she knew that if this compelled understanding between Castiel and she went both ways it could be more productive in this strange partnership they had shared along the way. If he needed her too then that meant that he wasn't going to abandon her or hurt her at least consciously and not to mention kill her, just like she wasn't going to do it either. Ironically she remembered telling him that she was all he had right now and she couldn't explain to herself why then it had made her feel so sickly satisfied and wittedly proud knowing it. However, now when she thought about it her chest felt lighter than ever.

Leaving the hotel took more time that she had wanted. At the just end it was her own fault, she had followed Castiel's pathetic game of self-punishment and they both were hurt and dirty because of that and it meant more time in the bathroom washing away blood and dirt from their meat suits and treating wounds and injuries before being really ready to keep going. Of course, the dumb angel was being difficult and prude (something Meg couldn't get after the time they had spent together and she had taken care of his body's basic necessities) and he didn't agree in doing the washing and treating at the same time with her. She wouldn't have minded and it would have made her crappy day a better one if he would have seen her completely naked for the first time (oh, how much she wanted to see his reaction, the amusing physical reaction) but they didn't have the freaking time to play silly games. She couldn't win in his stupid discussion about privacy and not needing her to help him so she didn't know how she had some patience left to not simply smack him and just let him be on his own devices then. So she sighed deeply and swallowed her growing pent up anger writing down this mentally on her list of things the whacko angel have to pay her back somehow. She spied outside through the window hiding behind the curtains looking for any sign that it could give away that they were going to be ambushed or something like worse than that and used the little unnatural perception she had now as survival instincts. Castiel did the same in his own angelic way while she was the one occupied and finally after the conspiratorial silence between both and some monosyllables in hushed murmurs they were on the road again. Meg kept a secure and strong hold on the steering wheel not really wanting to drive in the middle of the night but she couldn't stop. Castiel soon was soundly sleeping on his seat and she wanted to literally kill him for being able to do so but she knew that it was better that the nutcase grass hopper was unconscious anyway. Back on the hotel's room, she noticed once more how hard he was trying to keep his mind clear and his insanity at bay and how it was getting more difficult as the time went by. She didn't dare to suggest him to take the pills, she wasn't sure if they were good now for him or not and she wanted to think that he knew what it was best for him after he had told her that he didn't want to trouble her more than he already had done. Surely that's going to last an hour, she thought sarcastically rolling her eyes, knowing that it was probably more expected from the angel to start acting lunatic and out of his mind soon. I don't have a freaking idea what I'm going to do if you start acting like a china doll again or if you have a fucking seizure or start blowing up just like that. She mused quietly watching from time to time the sleeping angel on the passenger's seat. Or what can I do if you simply start acting stranger than your usual weird and weirder self. She narrowed her tired eyes fixing them on the dark road while she drove at a steady normal speed. The least they needed was the police chasing them for her careless driving skills.

Meg came back to her senses hours later when she felt something warm and brilliant hitting her on the face. Her eyes were tightly closed and she was cozy and cuddled up in an uncomfortable seat. Something was wrapping her up quite softly and nicely and she didn't feel cold. She wrinkled her nose and squeezed her closed eyes disgusted by the annoying thing on her face and took a deep breath trying to sleep again.

That was until she remembered the day before.

The demon blinked rapidly and opened her dull eyes largely looking around still dazed and sleepy. It was early in the morning, she could tell by the light of the sun filling the car. She was sore from sleeping like that and wanted so badly to get out from the fucking car and stretch her aching meat suit. Soon she remembered that she had stopped driving to rest a while parking the car on one somehow safe spot beside the road and had fallen asleep without really wanting it. Glancing around distractedly Meg was then startled when she noticed that the thing wrapping her up was Castiel's jacket, formerly Chase's, and then her fixed look focused in the angel in question who was on the passenger's seat still sleeping and with his head tilted to his left side half facing her. He had a hand resting on top of one of her forearms in the same way he had grabbed before a fistful of her jacket, in an act of reassurance and not given freely comfort. His body seemed relaxed even when he was wearing an obvious and expected tortured frown. Always the martyr, Clarence. Meg took her time in analyzing every detail of his handsome face wondering for the first time with genuine curiosity how the angel really looked beyond that yummy chosen flesh and underneath the human disguise containing his absurdly brilliant core. She had asked herself this since she had known that angels had descended to Earth and much more when she had met Castiel in that now faraway day. The angel had been trapped inside a circle of holy fire and she had ended burned because of him. She smirked secretly not really liking to remember that. She had wanted so much to hunt and kill the winged prick then. How things change so ironically. Look at us now, darling, thrown together into this mess and needing the other to survive. She kept staring at him in silence for a long moment with thoughtful expression and not really understanding why she felt suddenly jealous of Chase's capacity to see at least in some extent Castiel's true visage. She shook her head inwardly chuckling due to her own senseless bizarre thoughts regarding the fallen angel. Probably it was because it was unfair. He could clearly see her true face but she wouldn't do it ever. I couldn't ever imagine watching you sleeping so trustfully beside a demon. But I guess I didn't see ever myself in the picture either. She had been able to feel and to touch his invisible wings and she didn't know if she could do it now when Castiel was more responsive to the outside world. She even doubted that he remembered that time. If only I could command you Clarence… you would be my perfect shield and killing sword. Her eyes darkened and glimpsed maliciously at the sight of the ignorant angelic vessel sleeping beside her. I could sleep better knowing that Crowley was smitten finally, baby. She sighed and blinked her useless thoughts away knowing it was pointless to keep thinking like that right now. The weight of the jacket's soft material concentrated her again and she frowned at the gentle gesture from the angel towards her. She looked down glaring at the jacket still wrapping her like if she wanted to set it in hellish fire with her mere glare. Why the hell had he done it? It wasn't that she didn't need it because she felt really good with it covering her meat suit but the whole gesture profoundly bothered her, it was irritating and riling her up. She wasn't some sort of stupid useless human girl who needed an angel sort of gentleman wannabe to care for her even if she considered attractive that angel and she desired to do him just for morbid interest and have the experience, to claim to the world that she had deliciously fucked an angel being her what she was, right? Right. Right. Right.

She couldn't remember a single time when someone, male or female, had done something so… sickly sweet for her when she wasn't behind the scenario for it due to some scheme of hers. If you really hate so much to have the fucking jacket warming you, why don't you let it go? An inner nagging voice in the back of her fuming brain that sounded perfectly like hers with mockery (I wonder if I sound like that to others, probably that's why they don't stand me, she thought sniggering) caught her off guard and she pushed the damn item away from her hissing annoyed and throwing it towards the sleeping angel who woke up startled by the unexpected action and blinked glancing around with large, sleepy and confused eyes. Meg chuckled at his disheveled appearance and untidy hair. Sexy and sexier.

"You need that more than me, Clarence." Meg chimed in starting the machine and trying to look sickly flattered and amused by his gesture. Inwardly she remained debating with herself trying to figure out why it had bothered her so much and why she didn't want Castiel to know it. Surprisingly she felt indeed amused and flattered under that bothering irritation, very under in fact when she thought about it profoundly for a second time. "You were very sweet giving it to me, but it was unnecessary, love."

"You looked very tired." Castiel simply said looking at her in his common serious glory for a moment and shifting in his seat into a better position. "I was just trying to help you to take care of me and thank you for it." His last sentence sounded so innocently sincere and he was facing her with those large blue eyes and confounded and solemn expression and Meg was speechless again. She wasn't freaking speechless since a long time ago in so many damn situations. It was the solemnity of his expression and posture even inside a triviality like a car was that strangely connected them then in that moment. She was sure that she was looking back at him proudly daring, playfully smirking and darkly confident. They both stared at the other and suddenly the demon knew that they were recognizing and remembering the fact of who the one sitting really was on the other seat, beyond the flesh and underneath the human disguise. They weren't friends, of course, and unluckily for her they weren't bed buddies, but they were partners in crime in this little accidental adventure. She couldn't help to wonder when Castiel had stopped seeing her only as an abomination and if he truly had. Was he playing a game again taking in account her weak state and limited power? If their situation was reversed, would he stay with her? Or even more important, would she accept it? That's an interesting question, my friend. "I won't do it again. It seems that you didn't like it."

The angel interrupted her loud secret mind and his voice brought Meg back from her reverie. She smiled naughtily and looking intensely at the angel in that way that she knew that it made him disconcerted and nervous. So pretty, Clarence. Castiel looked a little embarrassed and possibly he felt unable to understand her. This improved a lot her obscure mood and rare thinking since she had opened her cursed eyes from comfy sleep. But she was aware that he looked like crap also with his skin paler and his purple eyelids and black rings surrounding his eyes. That's not good at all, choir boy. Either way both looked awful after their little fight and it was going to take them some time to heal.

"You can thank me in other more pleasuring or productive way."

She wiggled her eyebrows coquettish and smiling seductively. Castiel soon looked his usual baffled face and then he seemed seriously scandalized and cutely ashamed like he used to when she acted like this and Meg oddly felt relieved at it. She laughed tauntingly returning her sight to the road and starting to drive with a little satisfied grin drawn in her face. After some minutes on the road and when she had finished sniggering and sensing his eyes throwing daggers at her, the demon still felt his hand now grabbing part of her jacket softly in the same annoying and weird form like he had done it twice before. Intrigued she frowned upon the childish act and looked at him askance.

"Why do you keep doing that, sweetheart?" She asked genuinely curious and staring at him like if he had grown a second head with plain mockery. Castiel glimpsed at her briefly before staring at the front letting his eyes lose themselves in the boring road. He tensed and opened his mouth to say something but decided against it. So the demon was left with an angel gaping and acting totally awkward and weird. Or more awkward and weirder, in Castiel's case, contrary to the normal, or sort of normal Castiel she knew. And he didn't let go of his grip on her jacket by the way. "You didn't do that before"

She stopped her tongue and mind realizing what she was planning to say. Before your anger management, dear. That had been her thought almost spoken out loud. She wondered if something occurred then besides the obvious and what she had been able to see. Was his breakdown involved with this childish and corny gesture? Why did he seek reassurance in this pathetic way? Did he think that she was going to leave him finally? At least now being with the handsome and feathery nutcase wasn't boring like she expected at first. But that didn't mean that she felt frustrated, intrigued and amused by his complex and odd actions. Half and half, always with you, Clarence, it seems it's always like this. Was it because he was an angel and she a demon? If she was with any other annoying cloud hopper, would she feel the same or it was just because this one was her Clarence? Or it is precisely because you're just Clarence even if you lost your fluffy wings and shining halo, she mused inwardly.

"You're an anchor."

Out of the blue he said surprising Meg in her silent thinking. She perked an amused eyebrow locking her dark eyes on him for a second and away from the empty road while her expression was intrigued and amused. Castiel was staring at the front with distracted and old exhausted eyes. For a little moment neither said anything until the demon chuckled trying to handle the way she felt wickedly basking in satisfaction and pride and in the other side, of course, how she felt somehow restless and uneasy about that. Jeez, with you everything is damn fucking complicated, wings. She sighed secretly with a half smirk decorating her frowned and thoughtful face. The angel apparently caught her mood because he looked at her askance from time to time in what Meg could guess was a way to measure her reaction. Nevertheless he didn't seem tense or stiff sitting there and his posture just kept that cursed divine dignity he always had when he was in his solemn role of angel not minding if he was high or low.

"I see… was I always your anchor, pretty thing?"

"No." He cut in quietly with that husky voice that caused her to feel week on her knees when it was used by his scholar's side or any side. Here comes his explanative speech. "When you took me to that building and helped me to vent out my anger" Castiel paused after mouthing every word like if he was finding the human meaning of them in his unfathomable mind. "After that" The angel paused once more and Meg was aware of his shame for his meltdown displayed in front of her reflected in the softened blush coloring his pale cheeks. "When we were so close somehow I realized that the only thing keeping me in the real world was your presence."

Oh.

"Why is that different from the time we already spent cuddling together back at the mental ward?"

Meg genuinely asked interested and curious trying to let aside what he had said in that little speech and how it make her feel. It's the same over and over, endlessly. Castiel seemed to ponder her question and blinked tiredly a couple of times before answering and slumping a little on his seat. Meg was reminded again that he wasn't at his best and he was doing a great effort and a lot of hell better than he was back at the mental institution. She knew that she needed to take care of him soon and be more prepared for it even if it ended maddening and frustrating her. She had to do it despite Castiel maddening and frustrating her. It was the job just like he had told her before.

"I think it's a combination of circumstances." He started thoughtful and with his eyes drifting through the scenery surrounding them. "The demon who affected you. The way we had to flee from there. This journey that was so unexpected." Here Meg was quite sure that he was remembering their encounter with Lisa Braeden by the way his blue eyes looked hinted with his internal torment. The old burning sensation she felt when she thought in the woman hit her again in a subtle form and she sighed deeply trying to dispel the unexplainable and crazy effect it had on her. It was useless and bothering, nothing more coming from her noising and meddling side. "But I believe that it was your blood mixing with mine when you carved the sigil on my chest."

Meg remained quiet and listening to him really interested in his tale. From time to time she glanced at him by the corner of her dark eyes and begging that he took her silence as a way to keep talking about it. She wasn't sure if Castiel understood that, of course, and she stopped herself from rolling her eyes exasperated before keeping her face calm and her eyebrows knitting in curiosity. Hey, it was her blood he was talking about. And the way he said it sounded so… thrilling to her…

"When we were in that place I wasn't forced to interact with the world. But then all this happened. And when I suggested to you the sigil and the use of your blood in it I didn't consider that it could serve as a connection to keep me grounded." Castiel sighed tiredly lowering his eyes for a moment. Then he looked up but never stared at her. He kept talking seriously about the issue. "I just thought that your blood will put off my healing for a while to maintain the sigil functioning. I noticed that it worked too as an anchor when I… lose my mind for a moment back there." Lose your mind for a moment? Meg mused chuckling inwardly but leaving him to have a little dignity left and not call it as what it had really been. "I could have hurt you very badly." He added and the demon swallowed thinking in the real meaning behind that. "I could have smote you unintentionally if it wasn't that I had your blood in me. I hadn't left it to dissolve completely but sooner or later probably I'll need another sigil to prevent me from harming anything or anyone. It was like I was reminded that I wasn't alone there and I promised to myself to not destroy anything else… I've already destroyed a lot. Later I probed that if I kept a physical contact with any part of your presence it was stronger. It's helping me a little to handle my damaged mind."

"So basically I'm your anchor to keep you away from exploding or going fucking nuts? That's why you truly realized that we need each other. You should have told me, Clarence. I don't like not knowing what the hell is going on when we're in danger of being smitten soon."

She said with velvety voice and smirking happily despite her anger and annoyance for his muteness about it. But the important thing here was that this whole partnership was cemented in an unavoidable truth: she needed him to protect her and he needed her to keep him focused. Castiel nodded once with determination and stern expression.

"I apologize for not telling you. I didn't think you were going to give it importance because you don't worry about me if I'm remembering correctly. I suppose I was mistaken."

Meg turned to him almost breaking her neck in the process with narrowed eyes fuming in anger and taken aback at the obnoxious angel's words. Her lips formed in a tight and forced little smile. She found him already staring at her intensely with that stupid and unblinking piercing eyes and taciturn semblance, totally calm and honest. She thought he would look arrogant or pretentious by the way he had worded his thoughts to answer to her but it seemed she was wrong. Had she lost the way she could easily read him and what to expect from him? Damn, clever child…

"By the way I said you were an anchor, not my anchor."

He told her still facing her in the same form and looking sincere in his innocent speech. Meg curiously felt that somehow he seemed more secured and confident sitting there by her side just like when he had confronted her back at the old building, shining power and authority but not in a battle sort of way, just the old Castiel before Sam and his broken wall. I guess Clarence has his ways and I mine to look imposing. I'll give you that, feathery friend. I prefer it than your china doll disguise.

"Really? I don't see a difference."

She asked furrowing her brow and looking collected with a little smirk and intense daring eyes. Somehow his statement made her feel pestered and belittled. Then she pondered why it bothered her so much when the dumb tree toppers always wanted to make her own people to feel like that.

"I think I could have had other anchors, important places, things and persons to help me out."

He said calmly and still staring at her and for a moment Meg felt that she had possibly been right in her assessment about the tone of his voice before. Arrogant and pretentious pigeon. She snickered hiding her anger and facing him wondering if it wasn't that he was trying her somehow. Smart ass. She opened her mouth and before she could answer him back with some snarky and clever commentary suddenly a bright light blinded them from the front and both turned quickly to face it while Meg hissing furiously and smacking her head inwardly tried to get out from the road but it was too late. The last she heard was their car impacting with what it seemed like another car and she almost lost consciousness after her head hit strongly the steering wheel. She barely looked panicked at Castiel and only saw blurredly his concerned and surprised face and large serious eyes before everything went black.