All you've ever wanted
Quinn and Rachel were settled in the Berry's family room, the TV was showing a movie that Rachel had picked out and Quinn gave in to what the diva had wanted, that's how it always went. Their friendship was getting stronger, and the blonde tried to convince herself everyday that she never fell in love with the diva, and that she hadn't loved her since sophomore year. The realization however hit her hard when Rachel told her Finn proposed, Quinn wasn't ready for that. The blonde was just trying to make up for her mistake and become friends with Rachel; she wasn't ready for the realization that she loved Berry to come spinning into her like a boomerang. She didn't expect to feel the knife in her gut when Rachel came to her for advice when Finn proposed. The only thing she was grateful for when it came to this year, was that she got into Yale, her and Rachel became really close friends, and she made it through a horrible car crash.
Quinn was healed now, and although she was terrified when she felt the truck slam into the side of the car, terrified that she'd never get to tell Rachel how she felt, and terrified on whether she was going to get better or not, she was also thankful that the wedding was stopped, all because of the car wreck. Ever since the accident Rachel became overly clingy, and Quinn didn't mind because she enjoyed hanging with Rachel almost every day after school, and sleeping over at the Berry residence almost every weekend.
She wouldn't complain about the physical cling either, Rachel was a lot more affectionate, she gave the blonde at least 5 hugs a day, they'd link arms and hands while walking down the hall in school and when they watched movies she'd hang of off Quinn as if they were dating. Neither of them mentioned that sometimes the cuddling they did, or how close they got both physically and emotionally blurred the line of friendship constantly. Both girls were afraid that if they even mentioned anything, it would shatter the fragile glass around them, it would cause things to change, and they'd have to discuss what it meant. Neither one of them were ready for that. At least Rachel wasn't. Quinn had to stop herself multiple times from asking 'what does all this mean?' she even had to stop herself from confessing her feelings when Rachel would hold her the right way, or trail her soft fingers up and down her arm, or kiss her cheek.
They hadn't kissed yet, but the cheerleader was predicting that it could happen soon. One more inch closer while they cuddled up in Rachel's bed at night, or one more perfect movement when one of them caressed the others cheek just because, or pushed some hair behind the other's ear could cause a lip lock. Quinn did everything in her power to hold back from gently connecting their lips when they were in intimate like situations like that. It didn't help that as everyday passed, and every sleepover went onto the next, the affectionate gestures, and gestures that were becoming intimate, started getting more intense, and more common.
Rachel's head rested on Quinn's lap, while her body was sprawled out across the couch. The blonde's fingers were grazing through thick, soft brown locks and Rachel was trying to pay attention to the movie, but her eyes kept fluttering closed at the soft, yet sincere motion. Quinn knew something was on Rachel's mind, because every time there was Rachel would find a way to rest her head on Quinn's lap, chest, or shoulder, and each time Quinn would run her fingers through her hair. As Quinn continued her motions, Rachel allowed her eyes to fully close. Her mind was swimming with thoughts about something her and Finn talked about, which had just caused a huge fight between the couple.
~Flashback~
Finn placed his hand gently on Rachel's arm as they stood at their lockers. The gesture caused Rachel to pause her actions of grabbing the book out of her locker and she turned to look up to the boy beside her.
"Is there something on your mind?" She asked gently, his hand fell from her arm and he chewed on the inside of his cheek.
"I was just wondering..." He paused and she looked at him with a facial expression that said 'continue.' He swallowed hard and lowered his voice into a gentle, soft tone, "...what do you think of California?"
"I think it's a beautiful state Finn, but it's kind of far from New York. I thought you wanted to come to New York with me, do you really want to do the long distance thing, because I know I can handle it, but honestly I don't think-"
"Rach," he said cutting her off before he got insulted, "I meant...what do you think of moving to California instead of New York?"
Rachel's eyes widened, she couldn't believe what she was hearing. Everyone knew she wanted to go to New York, and she expected her fiancé to know more than everyone else about how much she wanted Broadway and wanted to start a life in New York. She was already having doubts, the more she got closer to Quinn the more her feelings began to confuse her, but she was already feeling the ones she had for Finn slowly slip away. She felt hurt, just at his suggestion of her giving up on her dreams.
"Finn Hudson, I have dreamed of being on Broadway ever since I was a young girl! I will not give up on moving to New York, especially to California. My heart is set on New York and everyone knows that, people who barely even know me are even aware of that factor Finn." She slammed her locker and the sound echoed through the hallway, causing the quarterback to jump, he hated the scary version of Rachel, but he was always thankful that she didn't make him tuck his tail between his legs like the scary version of Quinn use to.
"What could possibly be in California! What is it that you're searching for there?"
"Well, they have really good jobs there, and I'm kind of interested in going to the university there; for basketball..."
Rachel widened her eyes once again. "Finn, university applications were due last month, and I think you failed to send some out. Also you're a football player..."
"I play basketball too...and actually I did apply there, and I got in, I thought you'd be happy for me."
She stepped closer and poked him in his chest hard with a finger. "I'm sorry Finn but you suck at basketball. I've worked my entire life to achieve Broadway, and I'm not going to stop now because you want to play a stupid sport. This is by far the dumbest thing you ever did Finn! Why wouldn't you apply for a football scholarship?" She shook her head, realizing how dense he was at times; she backed away and sent him a hard glare before turning on her heel and began to walk away.
"Why should I give up my dream for yours?" he yelled to her, as she walked away.
She spun around to look at him, stomped her foot in a diva like fashion and raised her voice, "Why should I give up on mine, for something as trivial as this?" She turned back around and continued to storm down the hall, she rounded a corner and suddenly she felt her body collide with someone else's.
"Why does everyone run into me? Am I that invisible?" Rachel muttered, she finally looked up to find two soft hazel eyes staring down at her, filled with curiosity and a little concern. When she looked into the deep, alluring eyes that belonged to Quinn Fabray she melted a bit, and her anger began to fade. Lately just being around Quinn made her feel warm inside, but she didn't give it much thought all she knew was it started messing up her feelings, and made it a little difficult to stand Finn at times.
"You okay..." Quinn's voice was soft and gentle and Rachel stared at her and sent her a small nod.
"I'm fine; I'll see you in glee. Don't forget, movie at my house tomorrow night." With that Rachel began to walk off, bowing her head shyly. Quinn watched her walk away and she knew something was wrong, but she decided not to push, she knew Rachel would come to her when she was ready.
...
Quinn was hoping that Rachel would finally talk to her. She knew whatever bothered the girl a day ago, was still bothering her now. She continued the soothing motions, and even started to allow her fingers to brush against Rachel's cheek as she gathered the hair.
"Rach..." she whispered softly, she didn't want to disturb the diva from the relaxation she seemed to enter.
"hmmm"
"Can I ask you something?" she made her voice a bit quieter this time.
"Always" Rachel kept her eyes closed and snuggled her head into Quinn's leg a little more.
"What's wrong?"
Rachel stiffened at first, which caused Quinn's hand to still. The brunette slowly allowed her body to relax once again, just thinking about her fight with Finn made her tense up.
"It's nothing."
"Bullshit Berry, what is it?"
Rachel slowly sat up and shifted, she leaned her head on Quinn's shoulder and the blonde placed a kiss on the top of her head. Both of them stilled for a second because that was a new experience, and something that had never happened between them. Rachel would sometimes place kisses on Quinn's cheek, but Rachel was a lot friendlier like that, for Quinn it usually meant more than a friendly gesture because the blonde didn't do those things and Rachel knew exactly that. She shoved it out of her mind, and took in a deep breath.
"Finn and I got into a big fight, and we haven't even said a word to each other since."
"Not surprising, he's an idiot."
"Quinn!"
"I'm sorry Rach, but lately all you've been doing is fighting. Ever since you called of the wedding, it's something new every day, and he's an idiot for not treating you the way you deserve to be treated."
Rachel shifted and looked at Quinn, the blonde was looking down and she ran a hand through her hair. She quickly stood up, suddenly feeling uncomfortable.
"What was the fight about this time?"
"He wants me to move to California with him instead of New York..."
Quinn chuckled; it had no humor in it. It was cold and caused a not so pleasant chill to travel down Rachel's spine. She remained standing and turned to look at the diva who was still placed on the couch.
"Rach, why are you with him? You deserve better, and clearly he's just trying to hold you back..."
"You gave me this speech before Quinn..."
"I was right! You don't belong here Rachel, and all I wanted to do was try and push you to achieve your dreams, you don't belong in this town, you don't belong anywhere except for that Broadway stage in New York. Truthfully you don't even belong with Finn and everyone knows that, that is why him proposing was the dumbest idea he has ever had, and trust me he's had plenty of those." Her arms had risen a little bit through her speech, but her eyes never once left Rachel's.
Rachel felt her eyes get a little moist, she wasn't getting upset because Quinn was yelling at her, she was about to cry because she knew the blonde was right and it hurt.
"Finn has a good heart he just..."
"Finn has good intentions, but Rachel," Quinn pointed at her, "you deserve better. You deserve someone who will follow your dreams, and manage to fit in their own. You deserve roses, and chocolate and stuffed bears, and amazing dates that don't consist of breadstix all the time. Rach, you're settling and you know it, you know there's someone better who could give you all those things. Why settle for someone who will just make you miserable every day, and try and pull you away from your dreams instead of push you towards them. If you keep looking for that happy ending, with you being the princess and you're prince charming then you will never get it right, and I know I've said something like that before. But you'll keep falling in the worst way and you'll fail. I know if you didn't focus on him one day you'd win that Tony. I also know that although I love this version of you, I miss the other version of you because I loved her too. I miss the selfish bitch that would do anything to get what she wanted, who would fight for what her heart wanted. The determination I use to see in your eyes every time we went to a competition or everyday in glee is gone. That spark you use to have hidden in your eyes, it's gone. He took it away, and it's about fucking time you realized that."
"Quinn Fabray, language!" That was the only part Rachel could really comprehend at the moment. It was all too much, she hated when Quinn was right and she didn't want to listen to any more of it.
"I'm sorry but honestly, if you stay with Finn and marry him you will ruin your life. I don't want that to happen. I'm also stubborn and selfish and I'm going to fight for what I want, you also know I'm better than him, and you're settling for him, when there's something better right in front of your eyes. Maybe it's about time I say what we are both trying to avoid..."
"Quinn, please don't..."
"Why not...?"
"You know perfectly well why not, because although we have 'more than friend' feelings, strong ones at that doesn't mean we need to acknowledge them, we were doing fine without it!"
"I wasn't doing fine, quite the opposite actually. Rach it kills me every time you mention him, every time I see him hold you or kiss you. It kills me when we clearly show how we feel, but are too scared to admit it."
"Quinn..."
"I know you don't want to hear it but I love you, I have since sophomore year...it just took me a long time to figure out that it wasn't you I was jealous of, it was Finn. It took me a while to realize I taunted you because I really liked you, and it took me until Finn proposed to know I should fight for you and I'll regret it if I don't try. You believed in me when no one else did, and that meant a lot to me, and after I got in that car accident, I made the decision that I was going to tell you, even if it took me a while to do it, and that I'd fight for you because Finn isn't worth it."
"Quinn, I-I love him...and I can't hurt him."
Quinn took a step forward and thought it was a good sign when Rachel didn't back away. "No you don't, not anymore...and we both know that. I noticed the way you push him away, the way you wrinkle your nose when he kisses you. Why are you trying to force yourself to love him?"
"Quinn...please just stop..."
Quinn took another step forward and this time Rachel backed away, which caused the blonde to freeze in her spot. "Please don't stay with him, don't break your own heart and don't give up on your dreams."
"You and I are just friends Quinn, and we will be nothing more." Rachel's eyes stung with unshed tears, and Quinn faltered at the words Rachel said.
"Rach..."
The brunette looked at her, a lone tear slipped down her cheek and the blonde walked up to her, only keeping a few inches between them. Quinn's finger traced the tear, gently wiping it away, and she continued doing it while a few others followed in its place. Rachel leaned into her friends touch, and closed her eyes for a second, as if she was savouring the feel and the moment. Quinn's fingers seemed to almost dance against Rachel's skin, the diva shivering at every touch. The blonde's finger soon trailed along Rachel's bottom lip, and she could feel the diva's breath against her skin, and knew her breath had caught in her throat. Quinn slowly leaned in and their lips softly grazed, it was soft, sweet and Rachel immediately kissed back. Rachel leaned into the familiar body that she had grown fond of, and Quinn pulled her even closer, erasing all space between them.
The kiss deepened, and she trailed her tongue along Rachel's bottom lip, a groan came from Rachel's throat and she parted her lips allowing Quinn access. The blonde slowly slipped her tongue past what were probably now swollen lips and it felt like a fire erupted in both their stomachs, and they twitched in places they hadn't in quite a while when their tongues connected. They fought for dominance and shockingly Rachel won taking over the kiss, Quinn groaned as Rachel pulled her tongue away, but soon a moan followed when the diva sucked on the Cheerio's bottom lip. Suddenly she felt like putty, and it had been the most amazing kiss she ever had and made her feel weak, she thought she'd need Rachel for support to keep her standing.
The kiss seemed to end before the blonde wanted it to and her eyes slowly began to open, soon her hazel eyes were met with scared and shocked chocolate brown ones. She didn't want to say anything, she didn't want to break the silence, because if she did she'd ruin the perfect moment she just experienced, but Rachel just kept looking at her like that.
"Rach..."
"I-I can't do this..."
Rachel walked over to the closet near the front door and pulled out her jacket, Quinn furrowed her brows in confusion, and then raised one in slight curiosity.
"You're going to ignore the fact that we just-"
"Yes Quinn, I am." Rachel said, cutting her off. Her hands shook a little bit as she held the coat in one hand, allowing it to rest there. The diva wanted Quinn, it was hard to look at her and not jump her in that moment, but she couldn't do this, or so she thought to herself. She also wasn't a cheater, and she at least owed Finn a break-up before messing around with Quinn behind his back. "Finn doesn't deserve this; he doesn't deserve to get cheated on..." Rachel mumbled before heading closer for the door.
"Where are you going?"
"I'm leaving..."
"Rach, it's your house."
"Oh, right..." the diva bit her bottom lip, got out Quinn's jacket and threw it at the blonde, "please leave."
"You're kicking me out?"
"Please leave Quinn."
Quinn picked up her jacket which had landed on the floor because of Rachel's horrible throwing abilities and she shot Rachel a look, full of hurt and sadness and a little bit of anger, "Fine." The blonde stormed past Rachel, their shoulders brushed and they both tried to ignore the electric spark. Rachel swallowed thickly, closed her eyes tightly and allowed her walls to come down, just for a little bit and in that second she knew what her heart needed and wanted. Quinn was closer to the door, and stopped walking when she felt a small hand circle around her wrist.
"I-I love you too..." Rachel whispered, so quietly that the blonde almost missed it. She spun around and looked at Rachel with soft eyes; the hurt still evident in them, and Rachel hated herself for that. "I probably always have since I saw you, you took my breath away. I just didn't realize it until I hurried into the hospital when I got the call, I thought 'I should've told her...' but it wasn't the only thought I had that day. I cried, my heart broke, I blamed myself for the accident, and then I called off the wedding. I-I don't want Finn..."
Quinn didn't say anything; she just stared at the girl before her. A part of her didn't want to do anything, because this time it was Rachel's move in this chess game that they seemed to be playing. Rachel was quick to make said move as she pushed Quinn's back against the door. Rachel crashed their lips together, and it caught Quinn off guard that she gasped, but quickly kissed back. The jacket soon slipped out of the blonde's hands tumbling onto the floor, before her fingers found their way through brown locks as the kiss grew more intense. Rachel quickly pulled away causing Quinn to groan.
"Tomorrow I'll end things with Finn, and we can't do anything until I do because he deserves a fair break-up, and he doesn't deserve to be cheated on...but, will you please stay the night, and hold me?"
"Always" Quinn whispered, before pecking the brunette's lips.
~The End~