Here's my shot at another story. While figuring out this one I got an idea on how to proceed with my first one. This one is outlined and has other chapters prepared, so there won't be many weeks without updates if any.

I also created a YouTube playlist (tinyurl . com / NotAGM) for this fic, and may make one for the first story. Don't worry about that one song that doesn't show up in this fic where it should - that one's a special treat. A side story, but a treat.

I'll admit that I got the idea from other fics here, but also got tired of how... repetitive the device itself is. I hope this twist is interesting.

And I have ideas for "Senior Year," so if you'd like this one to continue into Season 3, review and let me know.

Josh.

Casting the LIne

Oh my Gaga… I'm going to be raped was Kurt's only thought as this Caveman crushed his lips, trying to force his tongue into his mouth. The hang out spot for the 'cool' guys and no one's going to bother saving me… Kurt blinks as his lips are suddenly cold and the pressure on his arms is gone. He sees Karofsky going in for another kiss and uses all the force he can to push him away. It works, the jock giving a screaming grunt, slamming the lockers before storming out. Kurt stayed in the locker room for what seemed like hours, waiting for his mind to find his body again.

(_)

What the FUCK did I just do? I kissed Hummel? Why the FUCKING HELL… Karofsky thinks as he storms down the hallway. He's going to turn right when he notices something.
"Is that..?" he whispers as he sees a phone. "Yep, Hummel's," he says as he looks around, seeing no one. He quickly unlocks it, bypasses the code screen, and punches in his number. He sends himself a quick text, then deletes it from the list. He props it against the wall so the screen doesn't get cracked. "I'm totally FUCKED!" he seethes as he heads to this Myth/Sci-Fi class…

(_)

"What about it Suckerman, you man enough to pop a dude's cherry?" Azimio asks while leaning on his 2003 Civic. "It's the five of us, so if you do it, there's bank."

"Totally legit," chimes Mueller, waving a $100 bill.

"Think man, five easy Benjamins," Strando taunts. "All you gotta do is backdoor that fairy."

"Hey, that fairy's kinda my friend asshole!" Puck sneers half-heartedly. Why'd I do that?

"Whatever," Karofsky mumbles. "You in?"

"Are you questioning my being a sex shark and a badass?"

"Yes. Yes. And MILFS don't count – that shit's played out. Hence the 'mom' part," Azimio says, deadpan.

"Whatever douche. Deal. But, let's say I for some reason don't get to backdoor Hummel. Like he's so gay he needs to suck off RuPaul or some shit. What then?"

"We nair your head and you give us your truck," Greyson chimes in, nodding to the 1992 Chevy 1500.

"Whatever assholes. You better have my money on standby," Puck says as he gets into his truck and drives off. A hole's a hole, right? But why do I feel like this is gonna end really badly?

(_)

"Blaine, I'm really scared," Kurt cries as he flips from his back to his stomach, wincing. "I mean, he stopped, but what if –"

"Kurt, he stopped, right? Let's take this one step at a time," Blaine replies, hoping his soothing tone is working. "Are you physically hurt from what he did?"

"The kiss, no. But I can't get the sensations to stop," Kurt begins to sob. "I just can't…"

"Kurt, this isn't your fault. If you have any guilt, you need to let it go," Blaine continues, trying to reassure the young boy from the dorms at Dalton. "He likely did that because he knew you wouldn't kill him or break his face."

"That didn't help Blaine, but I get it. But why –"

"Bully you so harshly? He could have been lashing out at thinking you did this to him. Or it could be some demented form of projection."

"Bash the gay away by torturing someone else?"

"Something like that. Is there any chance he'd talk? Or would that be like trying to take a honey badger's food?"

"I don't want you getting hurt. I know how bad it hurts."

"I know too. Would it be a horrendous idea? Me asking him to talk about what happened?"

"…"

"Kurt?"

"He won't go into a Fat-Induced-Roid-Rage. Is that good enough?"

"It's a start. It's time for dinner. Kurt?"

"Yeah Blaine?"

"Text me whenever you feel like you need to."

"… Thank you Blaine. You don't need to do this."

"Actually, I feel like I do. It was my bad, cryptic message that –"

"It's not your fault I got the intent wrong. Go, eat! I'll be fine."

"Only if you text me later."

"Done. Now go! I have to get dinner ready too."

"Bye Kurt," Blaine says as a door opens, then the line goes quiet.

(_)

So far so good he thinks as he heads down the stairs. The fairy doesn't seem to have said anything. He gets to the second floor landing and takes a slight step back. Not only is Hummel there, but also with some prep-school douche. This won't end well.

"David Karofsky? I'm Blaine Anderson."

Ignoring preppy, "This your boyfriend?" Shit! Why'd my voice crack?

"Kurt told me what happened."

"What, that he missed out on a sale at Nordstrom's?"

"No, the other thing. You're not alone."

"What do you mean alone?" I think I'll nickname him Chiwawa.

"Maybe we should talk somewhere else Blaine," Kurt finally says something, a slight panicked edge to his voice. He shoots a pleading glance to the bully.

"Fine. But if you pull out a rainbow or glitterbomb me, I'm pounding your faces," he replies with a respectable amount of rage.

"Ok, follow me," Kurt says as he leads the boys to the science building. "And don't run. Don't forget that I did win Nationals for Coach Sylvester last year.

"Like I can forget" Dave mumbles as he rolls his eyes.

Once in an empty classroom they all sit down, looking very nervous. Dave looks like he's about to crawl out of his skin, Blaine looks like he's waiting for the ceiling to crash in, and Kurt looks like he's waiting to dig his own grave.

"I'm not sorry that I kissed you," as Dave folds his arms.

"What? That was my first kiss you jackoff!"

"What?" shout both boys, staring at Kurt.

"You mean..?" Dave asks with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes you dumb jock. Brittany doesn't count since she's kissed everyone here!"

"You didn't tell me that part last night…" Blaine trails off.

"What, while dry humping –"

"Just shut UP!" Kurt's outburst surprises both the jock and the vocalist. "Please, get this through your head: I'm NEVER going to willingly touch you, you're not my type, and I don't want you bullying me anymore. Just leave me alone and I'll do my best to forget you exist. Got it?"

Karofsky just gasps like a fish out of water and eventually nods. He watches the other boys leave as if they have a line in his mouth. He waits there long enough to miss lunch. I can't believe he didn't apologize for calling me chubby…

(_)

"Hey Hummel, wait up!" Puck calls after a lecture about how wrong it was to use Beiste as a cool-off.

"What is it this time Noah?" Kurt replies, obviously annoyed.

"Karofsky's gone off the deep end with you. I was wondering... Well hoping you'd let me escort you to your next class," Puck asks.

"And what exactly would you do if he does something, bash him with your biting comments?"

"Dude I'm just trying to do something to help. No need to be a bitch about it!"

"And what exactly's different now than from the last year? Other than Glee and probation?" Kurt hopes this is enough for the crude Mo to go away.

"The way you're holding your bag. Your back's fucked up," He replies, trying to feign genuine concern.

"Don't bother Mohawk. Secretly you enjoy seeing it." As Quinn walks to the door he adds "Vicarious enjoyment," then leaves.

Stunned, Puck runs a quick hand through his 'hawk. He notices Quinn's presence and asks "what's 'vicarious'?"

"Second-hand enjoyment," comes the deadpan response. "Like porn." She then walks off, arm in arm with Sam, who just gives a too-toothy smile.

Huh. Whatever, I'll make you trust me, somehow. I don't lose bets, and I AM a stud.

(_)

Karofsky's been leaving Kurt alone since their talk - yesterday. That is until the end of the day. He shoves Kurt into the lockers hard enough to snap a bra, if he were a girl and wearing one. Time to spring into action.

"What the FUCK asshole! Leave him alone already!" Puck growls, genuinely pissed-off. Where'd that come from?

"What are you his knight in Glamazon Armor?" Karofsky sneers. He's mine. I touched him first.

"I'm just sick and tired of douches like you that think everything's your own personal toy," Puck seethes, eyes blazing with hatred. "Fuck. Off. Asshole!"

"Fine. He's boring anyway," he cuts, walking off towards the parking lot.

"You okay Princess?" Puck asks as he helps up the smaller boy.

"Call me Princess again and I'll turn you into a eunuch," he replies, taking the offered hand and wincing.

"Dude you're bleeding!" Puck squeeks out, surprising both of them. Before Kurt can respond there's cloth being pressed onto his bare back. "We need to take care of it."

The brief trip is quiet, the bathroom being just a few dozen yards away. Once inside Puck drops his backpack into the sink, props a knee to keep his hoodie on the cut on Kurt's back, and removes a first aid kit from the dropped backpack.

"Um, Puck?"

"Yeah Hummel?"

"You're on one foot."

"Aaaand?"

"How are you-" Kurt's cut off as the hoodie's removed and the sting of an alcohol swab replaces it.

"Years of martial arts. And Fight Club," Puck responds as he tosses the swab and carefully lifts the other boy's shirt, revealing one giant bruise along the shoulders. "Damn Kurt! How long has it been this bad?"

"Since you at least feign caring I'll tell you. Since the start of the year." He watches Puck grab a tube of Aspercream, nodding as he does so. "The extra 'ummmph' is new this week."

"I do care. I just didn't know it was this... violent." Why do I even really care? Well, I can use it I guess...

Kurt stands after the cream's applied and tucks his shirt in. "Thank you, Noah. But why do you care now? It's really... unnerving, to have you come to my rescue."If he asks for a date, then it's a dare. And I think I can play that. At least I can spare my wallet for awhile.

With his eyes on the floor he responds "I just do okay? Is it hard to believe that I actually have a heart?" he finishes, looking into those frosty-blue eyes.

"Sore subject, but - why didn't you fight Quinn harder, or at all, for Beth?" That should make him give up.

Puck just freezes, like someone just told him he's an orphan now. "Why... why didn't... you ask last year? When it mattered?" I am NOT choking up!

"You were pretty doucey last year Noah."

"Fair, but I COULDN'T raise a kid myself. And since when are you arguing for a chick to let a guy have a say over her body!" He was honestly miffed.

"Because you're the father! Whatever. Thank you for your help. See you tomorrow." Who gave him the right to question me!

"Not likely. My using Artie for community service didn't fly. So far my only other option is trash pickup," he says as he slumps along the wall under the paper towel dispenser. "Which also means I can't ask you for a date. At least to get the word out that you're off limits to the likes of Karofsky."

"You mean being my fake boyfriend?"

Puck looks up, brow furrowed. "Who said fake? I do appreciate class, and no one has more than you." Wait, I actually mean that!

Kurt gives a suspicious look-over. He can't see any signs of deception, and nods. I can use this. "Say I believe you. You willing to be with me in public? Holding hands, dates, all that?"

Puck can see Kurt studying his face as he thinks it over. Kurt does have a pretty tight body. And a nice ass. And a cutting sense of humor. Oh shit! I'm really considering this shit! He looks right into Kurt's eyes and responds "Yes if I do?" Upon his nod he stands and pulls Kurt into a careful hug, planting a kiss on his cheek. "So, we can be each others' first boyfriends. Right?"

"Sure. I decide how fast the physical stuff happens, got it?"

"Sure. I don't force that, I just make it easier to say yes," Puck smirks as he opens the door and lets Kurt pass, then wraps an arm around the slimmer boy's waist without hesitation.

"I mean it! No plying me with booze or sweet-talking me into it," Kurt replies, hiding his surprise at the touch.

"You're the boss."

"Good. Hey, who's that?" he points to a well-built black woman.

"That would be my probation officer..."

"Oh. I guess it's my turn to help you then..."

(_)

"Well Noah? I need an answer or an alternative to roadside cleanup," comes the cool reply from Ms. Martin.

"I ain't doing that. I'm not some junkie who stole from a grandma," Puck replies, slouching further into his seat.

I don't know why I'm doing this. He belongs in juvenile hall Kurt thinks, but says "I have an idea. How about some real outreach? Assuming that's okay."

"Thanks Kurt but not happening. We just started dating," Puck replies, stunning everyone in Figgins' office.

"Wait, what?" comes the surprised gasp from Mr. Schue. "But aren't you-"

"Aren't you trying to teach us to look beyond labels?" Puck retorts, raising an eyebrow.

"I need some kind of an answer, now!" Figgins half shouts, shaking everyone back into the moment.

"Normally I'd say no, but the system is overburdened," Ms. Martin replies, turning to the new couple. "What's your idea?"

Good thing I'm quick on my feet. "Well, as I'm the only out kid, I can teach Noah about what I know of gay culture and our community's contribution to society. That we aren't trying to convert or recruit. Just help men be less... slobby."

"And I can explain why some of your styles and... manniests?" Puck gets a mouthed 'mannerisms' from Mr. Schue, and finishes with "cause the worst problems and how to try reaching over the fence without being someone he isn't."

"All while dating?" Figgins asks.

"Well, it's something. But I'll need your parents' permission, and a letter of confidence that your judgment can be trusted," Ms. Martin says while pulling two folders out of her attaché case. "And..." she fishes for his name, which he supplies. "Kurt? If you play the probation system, you'll face a misdemeanor conviction and six months of probation. And we won't give you such a nice deal," she finishes a she hands him a rather large folder.

"How many hours do I have, 300?" Puck asks, his face screaming 'surprised.'

"250. You are to exclude public dates and all sexual activity," Ms. Martin continues. "Hours are logged on that sheet and are to be faxed in every Thursday by noon. Will that be an issue Kurt?"

"Not at all. Thank you Ms. Martin," he replies as he shakes her hand. "May we leave now?"

"Sure. Just fax the consent and trustworthiness papers in before 9a.m. Monday," she replies as she shakes Figgins' hand and walks out.

"Mr. Hummel, you have a real gift. And a good heart," Figgins says, honestly impressed.

"Someone here needs to do something, considering neither of you will," Kurt coldly replies as he stows the folder and pulls Puck to his feet. "We have our first date," leaving the office with a shocked football player...

(_)

"Wait? Finn's gonna be here!" Puck cries as he winces at the sloppy job his 'boyfriends' doing with the cake batter.

"Yeah, family dinner night," Kurt replies, ignoring the horrifying look being shot at him.

"Okay, I can handle that, but what about the other thing," taking the mixing bowl and pointing to the stool that was brought in from the other side of the breakfast nook. "First, mix the dry ingredients, then fold in the butter, then the mixed other stuff."

"And where did you learn to cook Noah?"

"I had to learn when my dad left. You can only eat Mac & Cheese and Swanson for so long. And they suck too."

"What about your mom? She cooks, right?"

"Only once a week. She has to work five double shifts a week to keep up with the bills. The old man let the mortgage get within a month of foreclosure. It cost a fortune to get it out of his name," Puck replied matter-of-factly. Why the fuck am I bring so honest? Even Finn doesn't know that last part.

"I... didn't know," Kurt replies, his eyes finding the wood floor very interesting now. That sucks. Why's he telling me this? It's too sad to be a lie.

"To be honest Finn doesn't even know that last part. Carole likely does though."

"Know what sweetie?" Carole says as she sets a paper bag on the counter and slides Puck the baking dish she moved aside. "Triple chocolate truffle cake?"

"About how badly Danny screwed us over, and yes."

"Oh, okay. What are you doing here Puck?"

Before either boy can think of a cover story, or see Finn, Puck answers.

"I asked Kurt to start dating me, and he's agreed to manage my probation."

"WHAT!" comes a chorus, Burt having entered from the garage.

"Dude, what the HELL!" Finn squeeks.

"But you're not into guys, right?" Carole asks as she puts the groceries in the fridge.

"When did you decide on this? You're not, you know?" Burt finishes.

"None of the girls in the county are worth any effort, Kurt's pretty good-looking, and I asked today after Glee," all while pouring the batter, setting the pan in the oven, and washing the bowls.

"And the probation help?" Carole asks. She grabs the folder Kurt points to on the table, looking over it with Burt.

"So, Puck, since when do you not date girls?" Finn asks, obviously still confused.

"Since this afternoon when I finally noticed Kurt," comes a cool reply as he checks to make sure the lasagna's fully cooked.

"And there must be something to it as I let him do the cooking," Kurt replies as he sits at the table, explaining what happened that day – minus the run in with Karofsky.

"Seriously? I mean I know you can cook and all…" Finn trails off as he notices something that isn't quite right. "Dude, is there any meat in that lasagna?"

"Umm, no," Puck replies as he finishes the dishes and sets a timer. "It's all vegan. If it works out I'll teach you how to make it. If you can ever unwind with Rachel enough to have a romantic evening," Puck slightly smirks as he places the lasagna back into the oven and joins the other family members at the table.

Finn just shrugs as he puts the stool back in its place and joins the rest of the household. He looks over one of the papers, then places it back into the pile. "So, how are you helping with the probation again?"

"All non-date stuff counts as time. It might take a while longer, but it isn't degrading," Kurt tosses, catching a pleased smile from Puck.

Burt, on the other hand, scowls. "And it's just a coincidence that you two start dating at the same time?"

"I asked before I knew my probation officer was at the school Mr. Hummel. Actually I half-asked yesterday." Man, this is gonna be harder than I thought.

"You mean after you made an arrogant request to be my bodyguard?" He's never going to make this work. Will he give up?

"So you admit that you're up there with 80's Whitney Huston?" Playfully done. Wait, how do I know that?

"And how do you get to be Kevin Costner? Other than a nicer body and thicker hair?" My Gaga we're bickering like a nearly-dead old couple!

"Boys, if I may?" Carole jumps in. "Not that I think this is a bad idea, but this is just so sudden. I don't remember you two hanging out at all, and it will be plain unsettling since that whole baby-drama last year."

Gotta bite the bullet. And I mean this. "Finn, I am totally sorry for not only sleeping with your girl last year, but for hiding if from you. You were the bigger man, and I'm sorry for destroying the trust we had." Puck sighs, saying "I totally get it if there isn't a way I can earn your forgiveness."

The closest expression Finn has is, well, anime might be able to show it. "Dude… You just hid what you did. And cut me down for not being responsible enough. Quinn lied to my face." He sighs and slouches in his chair. "If you can be straight with me about everything from now on, and leave my girlfriends alone, then yeah. We can work stuff out. I guess."

"With that out of the way, Kurt?" Burt looks at his son, who turns around to look him in the eyes. "Son or daughter, gay, straight, lesbian, whatever. I am never going to be comfortable having you date someone, especially someone with a record. I'm going to give you a chance to explain why this," as he waves the paperwork, "is a good idea. Then why this" as he waves between Puck and Kurt, "isn't some kind of sick joke to crush you."

Here goes nothing. "Whatever has already passed between us, like the dumpster diving, it's stopped. It stopped after sectionals last year. No one has even asked if Noah intentionally tried to take that ATM, or if he got roped into helping. I'm willing to lend a helping hand toward him to show Noah," Kurt totally notices the nearly non-existent shudder he gives at the use of his real name, "that someone he used to… strongly dislike, is man enough to take the higher ground."

Damn. Well, in for a drink, in for a Summer Fling, right? "And if nothing else, Kurt can make all of his mistakes with me. All the f-ups that usually happen when someone first starts dating. If it turns out that I'm not good enough for him, at least he'll have a better idea of what he truly wants, more confidence, and I'll at least be humbled." Mushy, Lifetime-Movie bullshit… They have to buy this..!

"That was really deep Noah," Kurt replies taking his hand. Puck squeezes it slightly before placing his other hand on top. This had better be a Mythic fall. They're so warm… NO! NOT really enjoying this!

"Well, you did get Kurt to let you do the cooking. Which, by the way, is-was a virtual impossibility," Burt says. He sees his son smiling, something stirring in his eyes. He seems to at least be somewhat interested. "Well, I'll say this: Noah Puckerman. If you so much as make Kurt consider breaking up with you, I will make that wheelchair kid look like a triathlon winner compared to you. If you cheat on him, I will try my hand at back-alley sex changes on you. Is that clear?"

Fuck! I'd better see about passports and airfare. Puck looks up, no fear or hesitation on his face or in his voice. "Understood Mr. Hummel, Finn. Although I'd check with Carole. Something tells me she'd get to me first and not leave scraps."

"He's right. A sex-change would be the least of Puck's problems," Carole says in an off-handed manner, a clear lack of expression on her face. "How long until dinner boys?"

"Twenty minutes," Finn blurts out. "I'm going to check my email real quick."

"Can I get the WiFi password? I think I need to update my profile," Puck says as he places a kiss to Kurt's hands. Hmm, coconut and lavender? Kinda nice…

"Sure sweets, follow me," Kurt replies, pulling him to his room.

"Door stays open!" comes a concurrent reply from both parents.