A/N: So. It's been a while… And I haven't exactly written anything in a long time. Including my original works… But I figured I would write now, for anyone still interested and curious about this story. Bear with me if I get some time lines wrong, it's been a minute since I've worked on this. Gonna go ahead and give a warning here: WARNING: INSINUATES SEX…. SO IF NOT COMFORTABLE, DON'T READ.
The Darkness Within
Chapter: 11
"A Different Kind of Problem"
I awoke the next day with a heavy head and an even heavier heart. I had slept horribly again, and the tension (more like absence) between Aragorn and myself had spread like a toxin into my dreams.
I dreamt that the fellowship and myself were walking through an autumn sprinkled forest. The leaves orange, yellow, red, and brown. The dead leaves crunched beneath our shoes as we trekked through the colorful forestry. Aragorn and I were walking side by side- our strides in synch as if we had practiced the action for days. We kept sneaking small smiles to each other- thinking the others had no idea- but they probably did. Aragorn's hand would brush mine every now and then and in turn I would involuntarily smile.
A loud screaming had occurred… And suddenly the beautiful autumn forestry was replaced with large black figures- figures with large axes, swords, and shields. It did not register in my unconscious state that the ominous growls and snarls were in fact that of orcs. The fellowship pulled together tightly and fought back to back. I had just broken the neck of a dark figure- with a satisfying crack- when the dream had actually become a nightmare.
Aragorn was stooped over- leaning on one knee- his breathing ragged. He was so tired- already. He turned to see if I was alright, while a figure raced towards him with a viciously large battle axe. I tried to scream, to tell him to face forward, but my mouth was suddenly welded shut-
Aragorn was still watching me and then he turned forward again- coming face to face with the battle-axe as it descended into his chest. A sickening cracking noise erupted through the forest and the loud clashes of battle. Everything stopped at once and suddenly it was just Aragorn, the axe in his chest, and myself. I screamed, and as I did, my mouth tore open- strands of skin and muscle tearing as I did. Blood raced down my chin and landed in thick ribbons upon my chest.
"ARAGORN!"
I rubbed my tired eyes and tried to slow my heartbeat. That dream… it was so real… and my terror, misery, shock, and horror- it was so real. I took a deep breath and knew I had to speak to Aragorn. He may be ignoring me, or hating me… whichever, but I had to talk to him. I had to see, and feel him… I needed to know that his heart still beat.
I shot up out of my bed and raced around the tree ledge with cots still occupied with sleeping hobbits and elves. I finally reached Aragorn's cot and stilled as I watched the man sleeping in his bed. His chest rose and fell slowly as he slept. His right arm was raised above his head, while his left lay beside his body. The blanket lay low on his form, just at his hips. His bare chest revealed many scars and burns.
I approached him slowly, my feet pressing down on cool moss, and kneeled down beside his slumbering form. His strong chest rose and fell softly.
Yes, he was breathing.
I moved my hand over his warm chest, feeling the black hairs caress my palm. Then I lay it gently upon him, in the center of his chest. Aragorn's breathing changed immediately and I knew he'd woken up. I didn't move however, and kept gazing at his face as his eyes fluttered open. He looked very tired himself, as if he'd dreamt of a horrible run in with an orc. An orc with an axe.
His head moved slowly towards me as if he knew it was I sitting beside him. I was met with warm eyes. Not icy irritable eyes, but with the comforting, glad, and relieved eyes. I moved slowly, my right hand softly pulling his blanket further back.
Aragorn didn't say anything, he just watched me, his steely eyes not leaving my face. I don't know what overcame me, but I slowly sat atop him, straddling his hips. Aragorn's hands went to my hips and his mouth finally parted to let out a small breath.
"Eva, I-" He began as I rolled my hips.
"I do not wish to speak… I just want…" I trailed off, feeling sadness erupt in my chest. I didn't understand any of this, my feelings, and why Aragorn was so upset with me… and then the nightmare. I just wanted… him. I wanted us to be alright.
In one swift move Aragorn turned us so he was laying over me. I gasped and stared into his warm eyes.
"Eva… I am sorry. I did not… handle you coming further on our quest in the best of ways…" He struggled for words, but stroked my cheek softly. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the closeness to him,
"Lady Galadriel spoke with me and… she revealed it was in our best interests to have you with us… I did not… I wanted you to be safe. Can you not see that?" He whispered, his lips mere inches from mine.
"Yes… Just… The next time you decide you are upset with me, and you react this way… I will kill you." I whispered against his lips and kissed him roughly. Aragron chuckled into our kiss and moved slowly above me. I felt his left hand pull my gown up and I shuddered at the sensation. Aragorn deepened the kiss and I pulled him harder against myself.
"Eva… is this alright?" Aragorn asked softly, his lips brushing mine. I growled against his lips,
"Do not treat me as some innocent maiden, that is not what you nor I, want." I quipped and pushed him over, further in towards the bed, and straddled him again. Aragorn's wide smile warmed my heart and I pulled off my gown in one swift move. The look I received, as Aragorn looked upon me was not one I expected. His smiled immediately vanished with a look of horror. I covered myself immediately and felt a lump rise in my throat.
"Eva… what… who did this to you?" Aragorn whispered lowly, rising onto his elbows. I immediately rolled off him and tried to replace my nightgown upon myself but Aragorn pulled me back onto the bed and threw aside my gown. I lunged for the blanket but he held me down with both hands, I tried to growl at him but the only noise that escaped my lips was a strangled cry.
"Let me go!" I hissed, my embarrassment and hurt battling my want for him. Aragorn ignored me and let his eyes wander down my naked body. I stilled and grit my teeth while bolting my eyes shut. I heard Aragorn take a sharp breath and opened my eyes slowly.
"Who did this to you?" His angry gaze was locked on me and I pressed my mouth into a thin line.
"Who do you think, ranger?" I ground out. Aragorn softly let go of my wrist and began tracing large ugly scars that covered my body. I didn't move, just watched him with searing anger.
"I… will find him. And I will kill him. A beast such as he, cannot continue to live. I cannot stand idly by as he kidnaps others and tortures them as he has done you." Aragorn promised, his eyes dark. I sighed, and stared up at the leaves above us. Aragorn's rough hands softly traced a scar along my ribs.
"Aragorn… he is a powerful man." I whispered, meeting his eyes. Aragorn shook his head.
"Nay, he is not a man. I care not if he is powerful or not, I will find him." He ground out. I tried to respond but his lips met mine, softly this time, and he caressed me. I let my hands wander over his back and deepened our kiss.
I heard his heart beat, strong and persistent. His right hand cradled me in beside him and made small stroking patterns upon my back. His chest rose and fell beneath my cheek and I had never felt more… happy. If anyone had told me that Aragorn and I would develop feelings for one another and eventually lay together, just six months ago, I would have laughed and murdered said person. It was unimaginable. That I, the Man-Slayer, would be bound to a ranger by word, and then fall for him… unimaginable.
We lay like that for a while, silently enjoying each other's company and hearing the wakening of birds and other forest life. The atmosphere lightened and although the elves and the Fellowship would rise soon, we did not stir. We were content, relaxed, and we did not want the moment to end... We were no longer angry. And we were no longer frustrated. We were simply, together.
"Did you have a bad dream?" Aragorn finally asked, his big hands stroking my back. I didn't respond for a moment. I just closed my eyes and enjoyed the sensation. I knew he was referring to when I came to him at first.
"Yes. We were on our journey, the fellowship, and orcs ambushed us. I tried to warn you of an orc with an axe approaching you, but I could not. My mouth was mended shut. It killed you." I whispered. Aragorn sighed deeply,
"Those are the dreams we will have throughout this journey. I have had a few myself… one of which the cave troll in Moria, did not release you in time, and you died…" Aragorn admitted. I felt my eyebrows shoot up. I hadn't even considered Aragorn having had those dreams. The same fears conjured in our subconscious. I sat up on my left elbow and met his relaxed gaze.
"I suppose… we will resume those dreams until this journey ends…" I mumbled. He smiled softly and tucked some black hair behind my ear.
"It is not all hopeless. We will be near each other should those dreams come. Though the solution to have sex in order to forget them, may not be available, as the others are there as well." Aragorn chuckled, while I felt my face burn.
"Finally! Ye two have lain together! By Valar I thought it would never happen!" Came a loud voice, breaking the blissful and peaceful moment Aragorn and I were sharing. I gasped while Aragorn lazily looked toward the speaker. I frowned deeply,
"This better be good, Gondorian." I muttered. Aragorn smirked at me and pulled the sheet up higher so it was around my shoulders. I raised an eyebrow at him. Boromir and Legolas didn't seem to notice. Legolas just smiled and Boromir looked like he wasn't about to let finding me in Aragorn's bed, go.
"Unless you wish to kill me naked, you can do nothing!" He taunted. I started to move, but Aragorn's heavy arm fell around me, to keep me in place. I looked at him curiously.
"Boromir, I will kill you naked, make no mistake." I glowered. Aragorn chuckled, while Legolas shook his head,
"Now then, breakfast is served and we await you both. Come so we may eat in good company." Legolas said, then turned and pulled Boromir with him. I looked down at Aragorn and sighed,
"That fool." I mumbled and began to sit up. Aragorn let me go this time.
We dressed quietly, and walked side by side to breakfast. I felt as though I was a different person and I definitely felt like I had a deeper bond to Aragorn. I had only ever been with one other person aside from him, and that was many years ago. I was shocked Aragorn had even wanted to… be with me in that way… especially after having seen my scars. Aragorn glanced down at me, took my hand, and stopped our walk just outside the Hall.
"Do you have regrets, Eva?" Aragorn asked, his eyes focused on me, his face calm. I shook my head, tightening my hold on his hand.
"None. I fear that you may… or at least one day." I confessed. Aragorn smiled softly, his blue eyes less serious. He bent down and kissed me softly.
"I will never regret you." He whispered. He then tugged me along into the breakfast hall wherein all seemed to be chatting away merrily. There were few who discussed in silent tones, but the mood had picked up since the first day we arrived. Aragorn led us to a spot where we could sit side by side. I looked up to meet Haldir's eyes and they immediately turned to ice. Haldir stood slowly, analyzing me. I looked at him with a raised eyebrow.
"Estel. You have lain with her." Haldir said, his tone smooth as silk, but the words cutting like a rough knife. I blushed hard, while Aragorn looked shocked at Haldir, his hand freezing in place as he took a piece of bread.
"Haldir…" Aragorn began, then spoke elvish. No one seemed to notice except the elves sitting beside Haldir. Haldir growled something to Aragorn in elvish, and I could have sworn I heard Arwen's name.
"To Hell with this." I muttered and stood. I went to the end of the breakfast table where I sat beside Boromir and Legolas. They looked up at me confused and saw the angry exchange between Aragorn and Haldir. Legolas' face suddenly looked annoyed and he looked down upon his plate.
"What is it? Why do you not eat with Aragorn?" Boromir asked, his eyes darting to Legolas for an answer. I shrugged and sat.
"Haldir has a problem with Aragorn having slept with me. I think it has to do with Arwen." I said, taking some break and munching on it slowly. Legolas sighed softly.
"Haldir thinks Aragorn is… inconsiderate. Arwen is very unhappy, brokenhearted, and as we know, elves can die from a broken heart… thus Haldir is upset." Legolas admitted. I steeled and let out a ragged breath.
"This was not my intention." I whispered. Legolas put his hand on my shoulder,
"Of course not. You cannot help what you feel. Neither can Estel. Arwen will not die, but she is not doing so well at the moment… Haldir has always been protective of her. This will pass. We do not think any differently of you or Aragorn." Legolas counseled. I shook my head,
"What a mess." I mumbled. Boromir shrugged,
"Well, if you think this a mess, imagine if Aragorn decides to reclaim the throne of Gondor, and his Queen is a former assassin." He pondered. I choked on my water, and Legolas had to thump my back a couple of times.
"By Valar, you brute! We have lain together, not gotten married! He can't- we can't- this is nothing. An infatuation." I growled, tripping over my words and suddenly feeling cornered. Legolas chuckled,
"I do not think what you and Aragorn have is an infatuation. Far from it. I also hope you do not tell him that is what you think this is. Aragorn wants more, and I know you do too, Eva." Legolas said, then stood and with that annoying smirk, left me with Boromir. Boromir shrugged,
"May I come to the wedding?" He asked. I nearly threw my breakfast at him.