ResaKeilor: I know present to you, chapter 2.

Ivan glared at the blond sitting next to him in the booth with that idiotic bubbly smile on his face. He wondered if the American even realized that the expression on his face verged on blissful ignorance of any of the world's intellect or if it just came naturally. Ivan himself rarely held a facial expression he had not carefully calculated and when he smiled it usually hid things inside of him that would petrify many of the other nations if he were to make his ideas and feelings on said ideas known.

At the moment his own face was carefully stoic as he listened to the younger nation blather on. It seemed Alfred had been upset for all of ten minutes before China, Ivan's foolish lover had asked a question about the longevity of the invention and how it worked and Alfred had moved from wanting to kill Ivan to beaming victoriously at the proof of his "heroicness". When Ivan found a way to become unattached from America and get a moment alone with his lover he was going to fuck the man so hard that...

"Hey fuck-face," Alfred snapped, "You can at least pretend to pay attention!" He said, "It is about your stupid-ass trick after all." He said, not really noticing the shiver that ran down Yao's spine as though in in premonition of not being able to walk with Ivan's stare.

Ivan shook his head and turned to stare Alfred down once more, "It was your glue. I feel it is your responsibility to fix it."

From across the table Arthur sighed, holding his forehead in both hands. "Can't the two of you at least try to act like mature adults until this issue is resolved?"

"Like you can talk." China sniffed.

"Tell that to the jackass, not me. And for your information, if you hadn't questioned me then we wouldn't be in this mess!" Alfred hissed.

"If you hadn't brought in an unstable experiment without some ready made solution to get rid of it we would not have to worry about a simple practical joke." Ivan replied.

Arthur leaned away from Yao as if disgusted by the man, "Oh as if you're one to lecture me. You can't even speak with a voice of your own, you sensor every thought you have that's worth speaking."

"At least I am not as crude as you are aru!" China said.

"No, you just let every other country walk all over you because you can't say the word no."

"No, because nothing would have happened! I wouldn't have used it if not for your disbelief!"

The Russians voice was cold, and nearly mocking, "There would have been no disbelief if you hadn't brought it to the meeting to brag about an invention you had not yet even perfected."

"I can say no as often as I want, especially to a brute like you." Yao said.

"Oh sure," Arthur replied sarcastically tossing his head cockily as he swiped loose locks of hair from over his eyes. "But careful, if you say it too fiercely your government might fine you."

"No, because you just shouldn't have doubted me! It's not like I hadn't tried it. You name it, wood, metal, random objects, animals...it didn't hurt the animals, those were the last tests when it was sure not to be hazardous, I swear! They died of old age...well kind of. One did?" Alfred said, suddenly looking guilty rather than indignant.

"You killed animals to test your glue? I thought that was illegal in America."

"At least my government is good aru, instead of having a false figurehead of a 'queen'." He sniffed.

"No you just have your emperor who doesn't want to hear anything anyone else has to say. How childish."

"No, the glue didn't kill them! It just sort of...erm...it was kind of scarring actually so I'd rather forget about it. It would have been better if they had just died. After a while, we put the other down so it wouldn't have to suffer. We kind of glued a cat to a dog and um...the cat had a smaller lifespan and even after death it didn't come off...and then the maggots started coming and yeah...Poor dog."

Yao and Arthur both stopped arguing vaguely hearing what Alfred had said and staring at him in horror while Ivan shook his head, sneering in disgust. "That sounds like one of your stupid horror movies."

"I know, that's why it was scarring okay! So just drop it. Don't you have any respect for the dead?" Alfred demanded, oblivious to the stares.

"I am not so hungry anymore aru..." Yao muttered. "Ivan, you will of course, take me back to my room."

Arthur looked like he was turning green, which was surprising considering what her fed himself everyday and managed to keep down. "I don't feel too well. Alfred you should walk me back to my house."

Alfred looked at Arthur, smiling, "Okay!" He said, but then his face darkened, "But we're going to have to kill Ivan first." Then a thought, "But wait, I don't want maggots...Never mind, Ivan you can come."

Ivan shook his head, frowning as his eyes moved from Yao to Alfred, "Nyet. We are escorting China back to the hotel."

"What? No, I don't want to take China home. I want to take Artie!"

"But Arthur is in less danger going by himself." Russia responded reasonably, stepping closer to his boyfriend.

"What? And Yao is?" Alfred asked, raising a brow questioningly.

"Yes, he looks like a beautiful woman, he is more likely to be attacked."

". . .true, so good reason to go with Iggy."

Ivan sighed, shaking his head like an adult trying to explain things to an ignorant child. "No. Arthur would not have to fear rapists."

"But you just said he looked like a beautiful woman! True, and creepy coming from you, yes. But that's not the point at the moment!"

"No. I said Yao looks like a beautiful woman." Ivan corrected. "Not Arthur."

"Huh? Oh I guess he does too..." Alfred said thoughtfully.

"And Arthur is British, it's far less likely that he will be raped than Yao who looks like a beautiful Asian female."

"Ha-ha, so true, Arthur is too British to get raped." Alfred laughed cheerfully.

Ivan in turn chuckled at Alfred's easy agreement to his statement, while Yao and Arthur stared at the two in horror. It was so easy to play on American stereotypes, and it was cause for such amusement, especially considering how adamantly Alfred proclaimed his countries dislike of prejudice.

Yao scowled unhappily at the one thing the two enemies seemed able to agree on and shook his head, "No aru! I am not feminine, any Chinese male would be glad to have my physique!"

Alfred stared blankly at China before bursting out laughing, "That's terrible! Then again I remembered when I used to ride on your shoulders like you were a pack mule, do you remember that? Ah, The Chinese are so weird."

Yao scowled turning up his nose in distaste, "You Americans are so rude. England should have taught you manners when you were still young instead of playing with you like some kind of living toy."

Alfred glared angrily, "Hey, I can be polite if I want! But why would I to you? I mean seriously, that's just ridiculous."

"And his incorrigible manners are hardly my fault!" Added Britain with a scowl, "He developed those all on his own!" Not to mention he resented being called a pedophile even if it wasn't openly enough that Alfred understood it. He hadn't had too many thoughts about America when he was younger…

Ivan moved forward and grabbed Yao's hand, "Don't listen to those fools, they will ruin our walk home." Ivan stated as he slipped an arm around the Chinese man's slender waist, ignoring the fact that for all intensive purposes he had been the one to start this argument moving to pull both America and China in the direction he wanted to go.

Yao smiled a bit, blushing and nodding in agreement, "Yes, you are right aru."

"Right, whatever, but you two can't like make out or anything, I think I'd have to shoot myself in the face...no, I'd shoot Ivan first, then myself. Yeah, that sounds better."

What a pity, Ivan rather liked the first idea Alfred had presented. Pulling Yao into a passionate kiss, and then, as the petite Asian man clung desperately to him Alfred turning the barrel of his revolver on his own face, the bullet shattering skin and bone, his blood and brains painting him and his lover as they proceeded to make love, bathed in the gore of his enemy. Red smears in Yao's ebony hairs, and over his cheeks as his face contorted in pleasure...

Well, that would be added to his list of sadly unfulfilled fantasies, he smiled innocently at Alfred and tilted his head to the side, "How mean, you would shoot me for kissing my lover?"

Alfred basked in the victory of Ivan internally fearing for his life, the older would never come out and say it, but it was pretty obvious from his statement. Alfred smirked, "Yes, yes I would. Cause it's gross."

Ivan shook his head, "Yao is right, you are quite rude. Denying me my little pleasures for your own selfish reasons."

Alfred committing suicide just wouldn't seem to leave his mind after the first comment... It was playing on a loop with various kinds of guns, torture devices, and even a spoon. But if he killed Ivan first there just wouldn't be any pleasure in it. Maybe they could reach a compromise? He would promise to commit suicide himself if Alfred did so first. Not that he would keep his promise, but it was worth a try. Maybe after they found the solution to this glue problem, so Russia wouldn't have to go around with pieces of a corpse attached to his right hand.

"Whatever, I can do whatever I want." Alfred said childishly, sticking his tongue out at Ivan before looking at Arthur, hugging the smaller man happily, "Goodbye Arthur, don't get mugged, I know you won't get raped 'cause you're British and everything, but I'll see you tomorrow~"

Ivan took Yao's hand, stepping out the door with the two nations, "Goodbye Arthur~ I hope you break a leg."

That was how the American expression went, right? Something about snapping bones having to do with good luck.

"Bastard." Alfred hissed angrily, "You'll pay for that."

Ivan tilted his head and smiled innocently, "Pay for what?"

Narrowing his eyes, the blonde scoffed, "Like you don't know."

"I honestly don't." Ivan replied, "All I did was use the American expression for good luck."

"No, that's 'break a leg' not 'I hope you break a leg' god, don't you see the difference?"

"Ummm. No not really."

"Well that' because you're a stupid commie. And a bastard...and an asshole."

Well, if the American was going to be rude he might as well say something he knew Alfred would find rude as well. "And you, happen to be fat."

Alfred stared at the other in something akin to horror and despair before morphing quite quickly into a bitter anger, "What did you just say?" Alfred asked, his voice dropping several levels into a dark cold that promised death and despair.

Ivan smiled innocently and tilted his head to the side, "What Alfred? Don't tell me you didn't notice the bulge of fat sticking out over the top of those ill fitting jeans?"

Pulling his gun out and pulling the hammer back, he had it pointed at the stupid, fat, communist, childish face in about a second flat. Glaring darkly, "Say that again."

"Your belly jiggled when you pulled the gun out!" Ivan said chuckling darkly, he'd kill the Americans self-esteem while he could.

Alfred pulled the trigger, unfortunately it didn't even hit the fucking bastards big nose, and instead it rebounded way more than it should have, shooting over the man's head completely.

Ivan laughed a deep throated mocking laugh that didn't fit with the sweet smile on his face, "Well you're aim certainly hasn't gotten better since the last time I saw you shoot. It seems overeating affects your brain as well as your stomach."

Alfred glared at the gun this time and the hand that held it before trying to hit Ivan over the head, bullets deemed useless, "Shut your fat, fucking, communist mouth."

"Alfred?" Russia continued mocking the man, both eyebrows raised. "Are you even trying to hit me?"

"Y-yes!" The blonde said, feeling despair as he glared at the hand holding his gun and hung his head. He just couldn't use his left hand at all.

"Your aim was better the last time we fought."

"Shut up! You know why that is? Because I could fucking use my dominant hand you ass!" Alfred yelled, shoving the gun into his pocket angrily.

Ivan chuckled, "Oh. Really?"

"Yes really okay! This," Alfred waved his right hand attached to Ivan's in the air, "was my dominant hand. How many times do I have to repeat myself?"

"I just thought you might be ambidextrous." Ivan replied with an evil smirk, eyeing Alfred's now dubbed useless limb. "I am."

"You bastard!" Alfred said, actually jealous - for once - that Ivan could do something he couldn't. He kicked the other in the shin, at least able to do that.

Ivan chuckled, "You're such a-" He paused, noticing the one thing that could stop him from insulting his enemy in this moment. "Where is my Yao?"

While the two of them had been arguing once again, Yao had been pulled into an alley by four men, one having a knife pressed to the countries throat, two holding China's arms and legs spread apart. His pants were off and at that moment they were all marveling at how it was a dude - not a chick - that they had kidnapped with the intent to rape.

Ivan glared fiercely at the men who would dare interrupt his, admittedly, amusing argument with Alfred and take his lover for deviant means. His aura turned heavy, laden down with his anger and dropping to a dark violet. If nothing else they would certainly pay for touching the man he favored having warm his bed.

"Ha," Alfred said, slightly amused, Yao really was a dude, "Dude Ivan-" He looked over to see the others look and stopped short. Riiiiight, maybe he'd insult Ivan later, "We should totally save him." He changed instantly.

Ivan nodded, dragging Alfred forward with him as he went to aid his lover, pulling the American off his feet as he went in, ready for the kill.

"Ah dude, slow down, let me run on my own!" Alfred complained as he was quite literally dragged into saving somebody.

The large Russian ignored his captive, hoisting Alfred into the air and swinging him like an overly large club into the first assailant he came across. Alfred's feet splitting the mans skull open as he dropped to the ground.

"Oh, fucking hot sauce on shit, what was that for?" Alfred yelled angrily, "You can use your other hand!"

Ivan swung Alfred back the other way, taking out two more of the men. "This is easier."

"No it isn't! Let me down!" He yelled.

So Ivan listened, letting Alfred down on top of the last man to threaten his lover after the others had all tumbled onto the pavement.

Alfred huffed, a bit sore at how parts of his body were hit by people's head, "I'm so fucking killing you when you're sleeping. You deserve such a death." The blond continued to mutter under his breath curses and sadistic was to kill Ivan, each one growing worse than the last one.

"Ivan!" Yao said, running to his lover and wrapping his arms around the tall nation, "Thank you! I was so scared!"

Ivan hugged the feminine Asian tightly to himself, planting little kisses on his cheeks and head as he ignored Alfred. "It is okay, I am sorry they got so close to you, the idiot was distracting me. I'll never let it happen again."

Yao nodded, holding Ivan closely, still upset, "Good aru! I can't believe that those scum touched me!"

Ivan cradled the feminine nation, shaking his head remorsefully, "I cannot believe it either. Alfred's foolishness almost cost me you..."

Yao nodded a bit, just holding onto Ivan as he trembled with the relief of his freedom.

"Oh yeah, my foolishness," Alfred glared. "God, my back! Fucking bastard, you're paying me reparations for this!"

The Russian let out a laugh, shaking his head. "Hardly Alfred. You should be satisfied you could do your part to help."

"Help? HELP? Being swung around like a fucking object of your use is not helping! That's harming! Use your actual weapon next time, that's what it's there for! I am so killing you in your sleep for this!"

Russia shrugged, not putting to much merit on this claim considering how much of a hassle his corpse would be for the lazy nation. "Then my decomposing corpse will be attached to you while my restless spirit haunts your body~" Ivan said with a smirk, he wouldn't mind being a ghost if it meant making Alfred his bitch. It would be fun to continuously scare the other man witless.

Alfred paled slightly, "W-whatever! I could totally defeat an evil communist ghost!"

Ivan chuckled, "Are you sure? Isn't that always what the heroes in your movie believe in the beginning?"

"No, they don't even know they're being haunted, like idiots. And then they run around, trying to save their boyfriends or whatever who are usually bastards anyway. That is how it normally goes!"

"And after they find out there is a ghost? They hunt it and die trying to do something stupid like free it's soul."

"N-no! Well okay yes, if it's a nice ghost, but then they don't die as often! They usually try running and hiding from the ghost, but it doesn't work and they die, usually trying to save those they love. Dude, these are my horror movies, I know them better then you do!"

"The people in them are pathetic no matter how you look at them."

"You know what, fuck off, because if you are criticizing them then that means you must have watched them!"

"C-Can we go home now Ivan? I don't want a repeat of what happened..." Yao said nervously.

Ivan stopped arguing, turning to Yao with that childish smile of his and hugging the Asian man. China was much more important than America's stupidity. "Of course. Let us get you home now~"

Alfred simply glared as the argument was interrupted, not saying anything as they started walking towards where China was staying, the feminine man still held by Ivan as they walked. Then suddenly, Alfred realized something, freezing in horror, "Wait...if we're stuck like this then that means we have to sleep together."

Resa Keilor: Wow, Yao is such a wuss, needing bodyguards to take him home. But I guess you can't carry a wok everywhere.

NekoKayia: You act like we don't control the situation or characters x3

Resa Keilor: We don't. They control us. *nods* Someday all will be one~

NekoKayia: Riiiiiiiiiiight, whatever you say.

Resa Keilor: LOL, well it doesn't matter anyway. Yao isn't supposed to be very likeable in this story. I just worry that he's a little OC because china can be manly... Kind of...

NekoKayia: Author warning, ha!: This chapter contained a somewhat OC China.

Resa Keilor: Well, that fixes it. Ummm, thank you mindless peons for your viewership. Please review, and I hope you enjoyed chapter 2.