Thanks for the reviews!

I didn't want to break up this chapter. So you'll get one big final installment. Enjoy!

Chapter Five

Two weeks later Kate still hadn't talked to him. They'd gotten a case that let their heads spin. They'd hardly slept anything until they'd finally solved it and as usual Castle had been a big help in figuring out who the killer was. She'd contemplated when they had been eating Thai take-out at the precinct afterwards if she should ask him if he'd had a few minutes. But it'd felt so much like the old times that she hadn't wanted to ruin the mood.

He'd started to tease her again, pulling at her pigtails, like he used to and it was such a relief to look into his eyes and see the old Castle again. The man she'd fallen in love with. At least she had him back in some capacity, but it felt shallow considering what could have been if she would have told him sooner that she reciprocated his feelings.

He'd told her that he was still in love with her, but he didn't act as if this was the case. He reminded her so much of the Castle she'd met four years ago. The playboy, always having a joke on his lips. Taking nothing seriously. Of course it turned out that he was so much more than that. So much deeper than what she would have expected.

He was the man she'd always dreamed of. She never wanted perfect. She wanted a man who could put up with her. A man who would make her feel whole. With Castle everything felt right. He was the one. The one she was searching for without even knowing that she was even searching. She'd lost hope a long time ago that she would ever find the one man that belonged to her. She stopped believing in love stories that sounded like fairy tales long before her mother was killed.

But for four years Castle was in her life now and somehow he'd managed to make her believe again. He'd made her believe that even she could find the happily ever after.

Now she could hardly be around him without feeling the almost unbearable urge to touch him. She just didn't know how she should deal with the situation. They'd talked about their feelings to each other but they were still in a stale mate and Kate just couldn't see a way to get out of it.

She wanted more but if she'd asked him there could be the slight possibility that he would reject her, that she could lose him because she'd pushed too soon. So she kept her mouth shut, deciding that she wanted him in her life, even if he could only be her work partner. Of course she wanted all and she still hoped that he just needed a little more time before they could be partners in every aspect.

~C&B~

Having a case that kept them up almost all nights, felt good. Actually it felt amazing. Castle had to admit he'd become an adrenaline junkie. He needed the rush. He loved chasing killers and bringing them to justice. Before he'd started to shadow Kate on her cases he wouldn't have thought how satisfactory her work could be. Of course it was cruel and some cases were tougher than others. Some cases hit closer to home than he wanted to admit, and you had to live with the fact that you couldn't win all the time. But bringing families closure was what mattered.

Closure. Closure was what Kate was searching for. Closure about her mother's case. He knew that.

He had to tell her. And soon. If he was honest, he'd told her to give him time not only because he wasn't sure if he could believe her, but also because Johanna Beckett's murder was still looming over their heads. He still feared for her life, but like his mother told him once. It was her job. She was a homicide detective after all. If she would find out by accident that he'd hold back information about the case from her, she would be furious.

She needed to hear it from him. They couldn't move forward as long as he was keeping this secret. But he was afraid. Afraid of losing her forever. Afraid that she would throw him out of her life for good.

He wanted her. As much as she wanted him. He knew that the only thing that kept them apart right now was his cowardice to tell her the truth. He'd been well aware that Kate had tried to act as normal as possible around him, though he'd seen a few times out of the corner of his eye how she'd reached out to touch him before she'd addressed him but had dropped her hand every time.

They couldn't dance around it any longer. The desire for her burnt him up inside. He had to risk it. He would tell her, hoping that her love for him was strong enough to overcome this last obstacle and that they would finally have what they both wanted most. Each other.

~C&B~

Kate didn't exactly know how she ended up standing in the middle of his loft. But she couldn't stay away. She had a bottle of wine with her as an excuse to see him. She would tell him she wanted to celebrate with him in private. Testing the waters so to speak. Seeing if she'd already given him enough time and he was willing to take the next step.

Alexis had opened the door before Kate could knock and had told her that she should come in and that Castle was in his office. Now she was standing in front of the closed door, raising a shaking fist to knock, before she entered without waiting for his answer.

In a split second she registered Castle sitting at this desk his feet propped up on the table, the only light in the room coming from the table lamp and his big computer screen. She saw the shocked expression on Castle's face and her eyes snapped to the screen, taking in every little detail in seconds, before Castle was able to hit the button and the screen went dark.

"Kate, I ..." Castle almost knocked the lamp off the table when he stumbled to his feet.

Kate hold up her hand, stopping him silently to come any closer and Castle could see the anger rising up in her eyes, before she closed them and gulped hard.

The picture was crystal clear in her mind. He'd created a chart with everything they knew about her shooting and her mother's murder. He'd told her that she should give it time. That they would find her mother's killer eventually, but that she should lay low for a while. And now this. He'd lied to her. All this time.

Suddenly the anger bubbled up in her and burst out. "You hypocrite!"

Castle flinched back when he heard the venom in her voice. She was mad. Extremely mad.

"You were pissed off at me for lying to you and what is this?" Kate pointed to the now black screen, her whole body was shaking with the effort to hold her rage in check. All she wanted to do right now was slap him so hard that you would see her finger prints even four days later.

"I can explain. It's not what it looks like."

"It's not what it looks like?" Kate hissed angrily. "You sound as if I just caught you with your pants down around your ankles and some blonde bimbo sucking your brains out."

"Hey, that's not fair."

"What? That I'm talking about you getting a blow-job from one of your bimbos or that you are trying to talk your way out of your betrayal?"

"Betrayal?" Castle took the two steps that separated him from her, his voice getting dangerously low. "I was trying to protect you. Damn it."

"Protect me? I don't need you to protect me."

"You've just been shot and they've threatened your life. What was I supposed to do? Watch you getting killed?"

"You damn well know that I can't move on for real as long as the man behind my mother's murder is still out there. You knew, Castle. How could you do this to me? How could you keep this from me?" Kate cursed the tears that welled up in her eyes. She thought he loved her, that he would never lie to her. Not about something of this importance to her. But he apparently did. "You know what. Never mind. I need to get out of here." Kate turned around and walked towards the door.

"No." Castle shot forward, his hand grabbed her arm and pulled her back with such a force that Kate smacked into his chest. "You are not gonna leave. We are not doing this again. We talk it out this time."

Kate jerked at her arm, wanting to get out of his grip, but Castle only tightened his hand, his eyes flushing with anger.

"That's rich." Castle exclaimed angrily. "You can be angry at me when I'm lying to you and when you're lying to me. But I don't have the right to be angry at all?"

"That was different."

"I don't see the difference. I've listened to you. Now you are gonna listen to me."

"You've only listened to me because I was persistent. You know damn well that you would have pouted for days if I wouldn't have come to you. So let go of me!"

Kate smacked her hand against his chest, trying to push herself away from him. She was completely taken aback when he wrapped his hand around hers and forced both of her hands behind her back, his eyes burning into hers. Shoving her backwards, her back suddenly hit the book shelf and her breasts were pushed into his chest as she arched her back so that her hands weren't painfully pressed into the wood. When she looked into his eyes, her breath caught in her throat. His eyes were full of hardly suppressed anger, his mouth set to a straight line. But she could also see the passion behind the anger.

"What are you doing?" Kate asked him, suddenly breathless. Her eyes darted to his mouth and she licked her lips unconsciously, feeling the heat of his body burning against her chest.

"Enough is enough, Kate. I'm sick of this dance. You know what?" Castle growled. "Talking is overrated anyway."

Before Kate realized what he was going to do, his lips crashed on hers. The shock of his unexpected assault only lasted a second before his tongue forced his way into her mouth and Kate's knee went weak. She'd dreamed for months about kissing him, she would not shove him away now. This was her last coherent thought before she gave in into the desire for him.

He was still holding her hands behind her back, his mouth devouring hers, pressing her further into the shelf. Deprived of using her hands, she pushed them into the wall, pressing her lower body against his, and simultaneous moans escaped their throats when she made contact with his prominent erection. Kate immediately wrapped one leg around his waist, increasing the pressure even more. She could feel him hard and long against her stomach and all the anger rushed out of her in a heartbeat. Tightening her leg around him, she drew him even further into her and with a deep moan he released her hands, digging his fingers into her ass.

Her hands shot up to his head and she wrapped them around his neck, kissing him hungrily. His hands trailed to her waist, his fingers brushing over the naked skin under her sweater. Kate snuck one hand between their bodies, in desperate need to feel him under her fingers. She couldn't keep herself from moaning loudly the moment her hand reached him. Increasing the pressure, she rubbed her hand over his whole length.

"Are you trying to kill me?" Castle whispered hoarsely, wrenching his lips from hers, his breath coming out in chopped hitches.

"Maybe." Kate breathed against his mouth, taking his bottom lip between her teeth, tugging at it carefully, eliciting a groan out of him. "You are using unfair methods here, Castle."

"How so?" Castle murmured, pressing a soft kiss against her lips, his tongue searching hers for another searing kiss.

"Kissing me to make me forget that I should be angry with you." Kate replied after several minutes, her heart pounding wildly in her chest.

"Did it work?" Castle asked and Kate could hear the mischievousness in his voice.

"I don't know." Kate said slowly. "I kind of understand why you kept it a secret from me, but that doesn't make it right."

Castle's fingers tightened around her waist, before he stepped back. Kate followed him with her eyes as he walked towards the door. She was glued to the floor, unable to move. She didn't know what was going on in his head, why he'd pulled away. Reaching the door, Castle turned around and stretched his hand towards her, his voice barely audible.

"Are you willing to take the next step? Are we able to accept that we both made mistakes? Mistakes we've made to protect the people we love? It's your choice, Kate. Now or never."

Kate looked at him, taking in his ruffled hair, his half untucked shirt. His eyes were burning hot with lust. She couldn't walk away even if she would try. Her whole body was pounding. Pounding with lust. She needed him. Needed to feel him. Her stomach tightened as she remembered his length pressing into her. There wasn't even the slightest doubt in her mind and a smile appeared on her face as she took the next step.

~C&B~

"Kate?" Castle asked softly.

"Yeah?" Kate murmured into his chest, not even able to lift her head. Every muscle in her body was relaxed and she didn't even know if she would ever be able to convince them to work again. Not that she would mind. She could lie in his arms forever, her body still humming in the afterglow.

"Please tell me that we are not going to pretend that this never happened." Castle blurted out before he could change his mind. He still believed that this could turn out to be all a dream. Because having a naked Kate in his arms, after she'd just rocked his world, was hard to believe.

"This question is a joke, right?" Kate jerked her head up, pressing her hand in his chest, her eyes searching his.

"Actually, no." Castle replied sheepishly, turning his head away from her. "It's not a joke. I really need an honest answer."

"Where did this come from?" Kate asked quietly, propping herself up on her elbow. Raising her hand, she put a finger under his chin, pulling his head back so that he had to look into her eyes. "Where is the self-confident, cocky Richard Castle I've met four years ago?"

"He fell in love with a beautiful woman." Castle said, his voice low and full of emotion. "He fell in love with a woman who is smart and funny. A woman who would have been maybe a conquest if she would have said yes back then. But she didn't and she twisted him around her little finger ever since."

"I didn't twist you around my little finger, Castle!" Kate told him slightly indignant.

"Of course you did!" Castle raised his hand, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "Why do you think I stayed, even after I'd declared my love for you? Why do you think I came back even after I found out that you lied to me? I couldn't stay away, Kate. From the moment I met you I was fascinated by you. You were gorgeous and so hot, but I couldn't charm your pants off. I admit that intrigued me the most. But working side by side with you over the years I've realized that it was so much more. I didn't plan for it to happen, but it did. I fell in love with you, Kate."

"I didn't plan it either." Kate whispered, her hand trailing along the stubble of his chin. "Guess it was bound to happen. But I think you've done some finger twisting yourself, Castle."

"Me?" Castle raised his eye brows in mock innocence. "No, I didn't."

"I was determined to not let myself feel anything for you beyond friendship, but you've wormed your way into my heart."

"That sounds creepy." Castle grimaced in disgust and Kate chuckled, leaning down to press a kiss against his lips.

"I didn't even notice it until it was too late." Kate continued to explain, smiling down at him. "The moment I've realized it, my heart had already decided to never let you go."

"So this isn't an 'one time only thing'?" Castle asked, his voice still carrying a hint of uncertainty.

"Do you really believe I could walk away from this?"

"So we are not pretending?"

"No. We are not gonna pretend that it never happened." Kate reassured him. "As if I could ever forget the last few hours. It was the best sex I'd ever had."

"Really?" Castle's mouth twitched up into a lopsided grin and Kate could feel his chest puffing out in pride.

"Don't get too cocky, Castle."

"Wouldn't dream of it." Castle replied with a goofy smile on his face.

"I don't want to turn back the clock, Rick." Kate said, her voice suddenly turning all serious. "I've talked myself out of sleeping with you numerous times over the last years."

"Seriously?" Castle asked surprised.

"Shouldn't be such a surprise for you, Castle. As if you weren't a man who only needs to snap his fingers to get laid."

"Didn't work with you."

"Because as much as I wanted to know how good or bad you are in bed, I didn't want to be a notch on your bedpost." Kate explained.

"Considering the last few hours I'm pretty sure that you would have been more than a notch, even in my old playboy days." Cocking an eye brow in question Kate looked down at him and he elaborated. "You are not the only one who had the best sex of your life."

"Hmm, I don't know. It would have been great, but I don't think you could have compared it to what happened tonight."

"How so?"

"Because we didn't jump into bed with each other only out of curiosity. We slept together because we waited for it to happen for such a long time and it wasn't just sex, Rick. There is a difference between having sex and making love. Back then we would have had sex, but now ..." Kate trailed off.

"We were making love." Castle finished her sentence.

"Exactly. Being in love changes everything."

"Yeah, it does."

Castle pulled her head down and kissed her thoroughly and Kate couldn't remember when it had been the last time she felt that happy. Only being here with him, made her feel safe. Made her wish that they could stay in bed forever. She knew that they had to face real life in a few hours, but considering how long they waited for this to happen, they could stay in his bed at least two weeks until they'd released enough of their pent-up sexual tension so that they would be able to work together without jumping each other at every opportunity.

When he released her lips, Kate needed a few seconds before she could open her eyes and when she looked into his blue eyes, shining with love, she got overwhelmed by her own feelings and a sudden urge to tell him everything rushed over her and she felt too happy to fight it.

"I have a confession to make." Kate saw the fear flashing over his face and she felt a sad pinch in her heart region because he still expected something bad to happen. "No, it's not bad. I'm pretty sure you're gonna like it. It'll stroke your ego."

"I have no ego." Castle said determined.

"Please, I can see your nose growing."

"So what is it?"

"Do you remember all the times you've teased me about being a fan of your books?"

"Of course, but you've always denied being that much of a fan."

"I lied."

"What do you mean?"

"I ..." Kate hesitated, drawing her bottom lip between her teeth and even though she'd just told him that it wasn't something he had to worry about, he couldn't prevent his heart from skipping a beat.

"What is it, Kate?" Castle raised his hand, trailing his finger over her lips until she sighed and released her bottom lip. "You said it's not bad, but ..."

"It just brings back sad memories." Kate said softly, taking in a deep breath before she continued. "I'm actually a big fan of your books. Always was." A big goofy grin appeared on his face and Kate couldn't stop herself from smiling back. "See, you like it."

"Ha, I knew it." Castle said, the smug grin still splitting up his face.

"Do you remember Will?" Kate asked, ignoring his smugness for the moment. She should have told him a long time ago. "The case we were working on?"

"Do we have to talk about ex-boyfriends of yours after we've just made love for the very first time?" Castle whined, the grin dropping from his face.

"Stop whining, Castle. I just mentioned him because while you were giving us smart ass comments over the mic attached to your chest, Will teased me about you."

"What did he say?" Castle asked curiously.

"That he could remember standing in line for an hour just to get a book signed, that your books did help me ..." Kate averted her gaze to his chest, drawing her finger along his collar bone.

"What?" Castle raised his hand and stopped her fingers, not wanting to get distracted by the sensations her fingers evoked in his body.

"Your books got me through my mother's death, Rick." Kate looked up into his eyes, her fingers curling around his, squeezing them slightly. "I don't know what I would have done without them. Your writing style was so captivating that reading one of your books made me forget for a few hours that I lost her. They helped me to cope with her death."

"Kate, I ... I don't even know what to say." Castle replied quietly, surprising Kate completely. She would have expected a little bragging from his side.

"What, a speechless Castle? That's new."

"I'm honored, Kate." Castle pulled her down and pressed a kiss on her lips.

"It made it hard for me to resist you, Rick." Kate murmured over his lips. "Suddenly you were standing in front of me in person. The man who wrote the books that saved my life. And this is not an exaggeration. It's true."

"I'm glad I could help, Kate." Castle threaded his hand into her hair and pulled her head back carefully, his blue eyes full of sincerity. "That my books are not only the reason that we've met in the first place but that they'd given you comfort at a time where I couldn't be there for you."

"We didn't even know each other back then."

"That doesn't change the fact that I wish I could have stood by your side."

"Richard Castle, you never cease to surprise me." Kate shook her head slightly.

"Why? What did I do?"

"Making me love you even more." Kate leaned down and whispered it into his ear. "And I wouldn't have thought that's possible."

"That's the Richard Castle charm." Castle joked, a shiver ran down his spine when her lips trailed over his jaw line.

"I love you, Rick." Kate said hoarsely, her lips reaching his, giving him a toe-curling kiss and his hands wandered around to her back, holding her in place when she broke up the kiss. "And I'm sorry that I made you wait for such a long time."

"It was worth it." Castle told her, his hands trailing up and down her spine. "Every second I could spend beside you was worth it. Bad or good. Because you are the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with." Castle felt her flinch and a smile appeared on his face. "And no, that was not a proposal. But it doesn't mean that there won't be one down the road."

"Hmm, I'm looking forward to see what the famous Richard Castle can come up with as a proposal."

"You mean, you are not averse to the idea?" Castle asked cautiously and Kate looked at him thoughtfully for a few minutes before she shook her head.

"No." Kate said softly. "Some people might consider it insane, but I'm not afraid to become the third Mrs. Richard Castle."

"Why?"

"Because I know I'm going to be the last one." Kate replied firmly, a mischievous smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.

"You're pretty confident."

"Because I know that this is the real deal."

"The real deal?"

"You've once accused me that I'm hiding behind relationships with men I don't love and you were right." Kate said slowly, her eyes never leaving his. "But I'm not hiding any more. Now I'm with a man I do love. So yes, I want to be the next and last Mrs. Richard Castle."

"So you wouldn't mind taking my name."

"I don't care, Rick. My name is not important. I don't care if my name is Kate Beckett or Kate Castle or Kate Rodgers. I only care about you."

"Katherine Beckett, you can't imagine how much in love with you I am." Castle said, clearly moved.

"The only thing that matters is that we love each other. I don't need a ring on my finger to know that you are mine."

"So you won't mind when the tabloids are going wild about this?" Castle asked. "You know that we can't keep it a secret forever."

"I know, but I can handle it." Kate said determined. "I had four years to prepare myself and I won't chicken out because the paparazzi are going to have a field day the moment they find out that we are dating."

"You're sure?" Castle asked her one more time, making sure that she knew what she was getting into.

"I'm sure. I love you and what's the saying? True love conquers all."

"Yeah, true love conquers all."

The end

I admit I'm dirty-minded and my muse wanted to go down the smut path numerous times. But every time she took a step in this direction I've managed to hold her back and believe me it wasn't easy. :-)

Thanks to all of you who read this story. I just need to write about TV characters to get rid of my frustration and I'm just glad when other people enjoy reading my stories. I have another story sitting on my desktop. But it's only a draft. It's definitely going to be a M story if I ever get around to polish it up. Maybe over the summer hiatus.

Until then, I wish all of us a satisfying finale with great Caskett scenes. We all know we deserve them.