Disclaimer: Noblesse isn't mine.

This is a continuation from Rai's POV as a way to celebrate the apocalypse on 12/21/12.

Aftermath (Part 4)

Darkness surrounds me. It invades my resting place until every corner is consumed and clings to me like an unwanted companion. Nothing is left untouched by its grasp, and I am powerless to stop it. The blackness inside my own coffin is the last thing I see before entering sleep, and I know that it will be the first thing to greet me when I awake. It is the one constant I have other than you, but even you are darkness.

I do not open my eyes. I don't want to see the shadows that have harbored with me, the demons that have watched me as I slept. And I am afraid. What lies beyond the walls of my resting place is not the life I once lived. Those days are over now. The loss of them cuts through me anew, and I can't bring myself to accept that the world has changed.

If I remain here, if I don't open my eyes, then I can live in these memories. I can think of the pleasant times when we lived with the children. You were happy then. So was I. But as I cherish these things, as I lose myself in these thoughts, the pangs of grief pierce my heart, and I can feel the flames that once scorched my skin. The sound of screams fills my ears. Death taints the air. And I know. Yes, I know. Those days are forever lost. Even if I stare into the past, I can not revive the happiness we once shared, and I will never be able to think of these things without agony again.

Instead, I linger. I wait for you. You are always there when I awake, and I need this more than I can admit. The world is different now. As I slept, it has been reborn. Everything I have once gained has been taken from me. Humanity so quickly changes. But not you. You are my one constant. I count on you to tie me to the present, to the years I have lost. Without you, I am swept away.

My fingers blindly touch the structure encompassing me. The walls of this coffin separate me from the living, and the lid lifts of its own accord as if sensing the end of my slumber. Stale air escapes my encasement with a rush of wind, and there is silence. The subtle weight of centuries lifts from my body, and all at once, I am aware that time has passed.

I do not move. I can feel the familiar presence of the Landegre clan, and I marvel at how it has changed. What was once lighthearted now has a depth of sorrow that even I have not known. His heart trembles with both terror and ecstasy. It is so broken, so fragile now, and I don't know how he has been able to keep it from shattering. His loneliness is reminiscent of my own. The way life was as I stood in the window, and the darkness of the mansion buried me alive. The days before you came.

The scrape of footsteps against the stone floor echoes through the chamber, and I know that he is standing over me. He needs me the way you have always needed me. But it is different somehow. There is something desperate in this, something so hesitant. He is crumbling before me, and still I wait. I listen for the gentle stirring of your approach, but no sound calls to me. I wonder where you are. And why you do not come.

He is speaking now. He tells me of the past, of the explosion that killed the children and the sacrifice that the enhanced humans made. And of my own choice. That I am not to blame. He knows this is a lie. I know it as well. I am at fault. I had been so afraid to sleep. So afraid to lose the life I had. But now I am even more afraid to awake. I know how deeply this decision has hurt you, and I can't forgive myself for your pain.

My mind searches through my memories, but I can't trace what has happened to you. I remember the battle. I remember knowing I would die. I remember seeing the terror on your face. The darkness in your eyes. And I remember falling asleep. But where are you? I can't feel you here. You are always there when I awake.

And then he says the words that I will never forget. The one who waits for me. You are not here. You will not come. Only he remains. Darkness surrounds me. Other than you, it is my one constant. It is always there, waiting for me to awake. And so I open my eyes. Because even you are darkness.