It was another beautiful day in the forest with the beautiful truffula trees-in spite of the Lorax and his usual annoying antics. The Once-ler had returned from yet another unsuccessful day of trying to sell thneeds, and he was growing rather tired at this point. As he strolled down the woodland trail, something glimmering caught his eye. He approached it and found himself approaching a labyrinth (whaaa?). He cocked an eyebrow and looked around suspiciously, in case it were another one of the Lorax's tricks. He stepped forward with caution, calling out.

"Hello..?" he called softly, his voice echoing. He then heard a loud, deep rumbling, the earth trembling beneath his feet. "H-Huh? Wha? G-Gah!" Once-Ler turned to run but it was already too late; the earth gave way beneath his feet, and he fell into the labyrinth, slowly falling into a pit. But then! He felt himself slowing in mid-air, and he heard a familiar-annoying-voice in the midst of the thick blackness that engulfed him.

"Once-Ler, it is I-"

"Hello?"

"Yes. Hi. Ahem, anyway. Once-Ler, it is-"

"Lorax, is that you? Where am I? What's going on?"

"Ugh..." Lorax said impatiently, shaking his head, "can't ever get a word in edgewise... look kid, I came back into the past to show you what a jerk you're going to turn into if you start to cut down more trees. Okay? I also wanted to show you how ridiculous you look in green."

Once-ler was utterly confused, but the panic had settled down a little. "U-Uhh, okay..?"

"Just beware of the evils you can easily commit, kid." Lorax said before disappearing. And with that being said, suddenly Once-ler was being thrown and spun around like he was on the spin-cycle of a load of laundry. He hollered and whirled around before finally there was a bright and shining light, and he was spat out of the labyrinth-into the future, and straight into the mansion of the Once-ler that had already chopped down the forest.

"A-AAaaaAAAAAHHH!" Once-ler shrieked before he fell straight into the lap of... himself? He panted heavily, looking up straight at himself. Both Once-lers yelped in horror, pointing at each other, then at themselves, then they just walked around each other.

"W-Wha...?"

***Hello everyone! Gigi here~ To make life easier, I'm going to refer to the verrrrrry evil (grinchy-green) Once-ler as Nega, and the kinda-nice (striped pants and lives in a tent) Once-ler by Once-ler. Ok, enjoy the rest of the self-cesty Once-lutty goodness. 3***

Once-ler and Nega looked at each other's asses, then over their shoulders at their own, inspecting their rears, pouting. Once-ler looked up at Nega, eyeing him suspiciously. "I'm here because of you, you know."

"Oh? Doesn't that mean you're hear because of... yourself...?" he asked with a sly grin, crossing his arms over his chest, smoothly shifting his weight onto one leg. Once-ler pouted and pointed an angry finger at him.

"D-Don't you play your mind-tricks on me! I know how your mind works better than YOU do!" he hissed.

"Then wouldn't that mean that-"

"SHUT UP!"

"Cheeky, aren't we?" Nega said, pressing his tongue against his cheek, raising a single eyebrow. He then got a rather kinky idea in his diabolical mind. He stepped towards Once-ler, bringing his face so close to the red-faced man. "For someone so 'kind', you sure to get a little hotheaded easily...~" he said, poking Once-ler in the chest. Once-ler eeped and jumped back, landing in Nega's large swivel chair. Nega then stepped up to him, sitting on his desk, reaching into a side drawer, fishing around for something.

"L-Listen, you-"

"I don't see why we must be so hasty about this... why can't we just sit here and... talk things out?~" Nega said with another sly mile. Once-ler eyed that grin with suspicion, failing to notice Nega pulling something out of his desk.

Suddenly Nega ponced on him and brandished an almighty and fearsome thneed, and he immediately tied Once-ler's wrists and shoulders to his chair. Once-ler gasped and tugged at his slender wrists, gritting his teeth as he felt a weight settling in his lap. Nega pulled off his large top-hat, tossing it aside.

"I'm listening, Once-ler..~" he said softly.

"Let me go. I-I'm not fond of these games-"

"Ohh I know you aren't trying THAT card. On ME of all people. You and I BOTH know you loooove this sort of thing. And now you have someone to play with~ Besides, you should know me-I mean yourself-well enough by now to know that we are NEVER without a thneed nearby," he said. "And you're being touched by yourself~ So it's really like masturbation if you think about it. But not. So just enjoy yourself while you can..." he said as he slowly slid off his soft green gloves, coiling them both together and wrapping them around Once-ler's head, securing the soft fabric between those peachy pink lips.

Once-ler blushed and looked away in embarassment, squirming weakly, holding his legs shut tightly to hide his growing hardness.

"I also happen to know firsthand how vocal you can be~ Don't make me show you." Nega said. Once-ler's head snapped up to look at that identical face, giving a muffled whimper as he tugged at his cuffed wrists.

Nega gave a cruel grin as he slowly crawled up into Once-ler's lap, grinding down onto him, making Once-ler blush and lean his head back, tensing a bit. Nega moaned softly, running a bare hand up Once-ler's chest, unbuttoning his vest and beginning to unbutton his shirt. Once-ler almost let out another string of muffled protests, but subdued himself as Nega ground his perfect ass against Once-ler's hardness.

Once-ler groaned and ground up into Nega's touch, biting down on the thneed wedged tightly between his luscious lips. "Hnn-nmmphh!" he mewled and whimpered loudly. Nega chuckled darkly. "That's more like it...~ What a good boy you're being..." he said in a deep, gutteral voice. He then slid a free hand beneath the Once-ler, groping that cute, firm little ass. The cute little Once-Ler let out a muffled little yelp of pleasure and susprise. "Do you want me to take you here?" he said, poking a curious little finger at that clothed tightness. Once-ler whimpered, his eyes widening as he shook his head.

Nega scowled and he rolled his eyes. "Ffffinnne... I can see why you would be intimidated by such an activity. Weeeellll how about this then~" he said, adressing Once-ler's hardness as well as his own. He ground against his own erection, draping his legs over the sides of the chair as he untied the coiled gloves from around Once-ler's mouth, retying them around Once-ler's eyes.

"M-Mnnh a-ahh... n-nghh..." Once-ler whimpered, panting softly. "Mnn... is it selfish if I call you sexy...?" Nega moaned as he leaned in to press his lips against Once-ler's, crushing his lips against the trapped man. Once-ler grunted something that Nega knew was meant to be insulting. Nega let out a chuckle, grinning into the kiss as he thrust his tongue past those luscious lips, unzipping their pants, shedding himself of his coat as he ground their now freed erections against each other. Once-ler moaned against Nega's lips as he felt the talented hands working both erections together.

Nega groaned softly as he began to lick and suck on the sides of the Once-ler's neck, groaning at the faintly sweet flavor, grinding as the hot flesh of their members rubbed against each other, his large hand wrapped around both of their shafts, skillfully pumping both lengths together in perfect unison. Onceler groaned and mewled, grinding up blindly into Nega's touches.

Nega growled back, biting harshly into Once-ler's neck, issuing a sharp cry from said man beneath him. He grunted and groaned as he pumped both of their lengths faster, grinding harder against the other man, their chests rubbing together as he reached a hand up to fist it in that head of dark brown hair. He groaned out in a beastly voice, murmuring naughty and dirty things into Once-ler's ear. Once-ler moaned and whimpered, mewling as he humped and thrust upward, nearing his orgasm. After a few more strokes, both men came simultaneously, their seeds spurting out onto each other's chests, a few jets of it getting onto their faces.

Once-ler sighed and panted, worn out. Nega stood up, smiling as he removed the thneed to clean up himself as well as his former self he had bound to his throne. He grinned as he wedged the cum-soaked thneed between those lips again, using his sleeves to re-bind Once-ler with his hands behind his back, and his ankles together.

"Consider this my response to the Lorax, old buddy old pal. If he has any questions, just tell him not to worry about this silly old truffula forest~ After all... how bad can I possibly be...?" he said with a snarl, hauling the Once-ler back out and straight back into the Labyrinth to face the Lorax with shame at his failure.

The Lorax looked at him as Once-ler wiggled and squirmed around on the ground. "Wow. I hope you're proud of yourself." he said with a lop-sided scowl, raising an eyebrow in disgust. "I don't even want to know what happened, just... go get yourself cleaned up. The creatures of the forest and I have a date with a bag of marshmallows."

Once-ler looked at the Lorax in disbelief, giving muffled curses and grunts, squirming around on the floor, straining at his binds.

'Agh! What a day this turned out to be!'

At least the Once-ler thought of another handy-dandy use for a thneed.

A/N: / I'm glad I was given this opportunity...~ Everybody needs a thneed...~ *wiggles hips*

Once-ler: ...*pounces on Gigi and strangles with thneed*

Gigi: g-GACK!